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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27193216">Oneshots {Saiouma/Oumasai}</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShuichiOuma010/pseuds/ShuichiOuma010'>ShuichiOuma010</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing, Super Dangan Ronpa 2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha/Omega, Altered Mental States, Alternate Universe, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Author Is Sleep Deprived, Awkward Dates, Best Friends, Blind Date, Boys In Love, Boys Kissing, Brotherhood, Brotherly Affection, Brotherly Bonding, Childhood Friends, Childhood Sweethearts, Comfort Reading, Couch Cuddles, Cute, Cute Ending, Cute Kids, Declarations Of Love, Depressing, Depression, Dessert &amp; Sweets, Detectives, Developing Friendships, Dorks in Love, Eating Disorders, Embarrassment, Emotional, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional Roller Coaster, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Emotionally Repressed, Enemies to Friends, F/F, F/M, Falling In Love, First Dates, First Kiss, First Love, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Gay, Gay Male Character, Holding Hands, Hurt, Hurt/Comfort, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Ice Skating, Idiots in Love, Kissing, LGBTQ Character, LGBTQ Female Character, LGBTQ Themes, Lies, Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Male Friendship, Male-Female Friendship, Mental Anguish, Mental Breakdown, Mental Health Issues, Morning Cuddles, Neck Kissing, Phantom Thief Oma Kokichi, Random &amp; Short, Reading, Reading Aloud, References to Depression, Regret, Romantic Friendship, Sad and Sweet, Sharing Clothes, Short, Short &amp; Sweet, Short One Shot, Skating, Sleep, Sleep Deprivation, Sleepiness, Sleeping Together, Sleepovers, Sleepy Cuddles, Study Date, The Author Regrets Everything, True Love, Unrequited Love, Unresolved Emotional Tension, Writers, oneshots</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 16:28:13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>111</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>175,116</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27193216</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShuichiOuma010/pseuds/ShuichiOuma010</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>•Have you ever wanted to look at all those little moments? Because life is full of small moments, so just read and live in the moment•</p><p>Some fluff/angst one-shots of [OUMASAI SAIOUMA] {KokichiXShuichi}</p><p> </p><p>𝕌𝕡𝕕𝕒𝕥𝕖𝕤 𝕊𝕒𝕥𝕦𝕣𝕕𝕒𝕪𝕤</p><p> </p><p>Started- November 25 2019</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Chabashira Tenko/Yumeno Himiko, Hinata Hajime/Komaeda Nagito, Oma Kokichi/Saihara Shuichi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>163</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>Kokichi and Shuichi and all the gang play truth or dare, but when the person giving the dares knows all of your secrets it gets interesting fast.</b>
</p><p>
  <span>All of the motives were in... And now something was coming...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Truth or dare, the game where unexpected truths come out and things you have to do no matter how terrible.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Kokichi's POV</b>
</p><p>
  <span>We were all sitting cross-legged in the gym hooked up to lie detectors. We were all looking at each other with confused looks on our faces.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Why are we here?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>What is going to happen to us?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>These were the two questions the majority of us were asking internally... Monokuma finally came to explain what the hell we were doing there and why we were there in the first place.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hello Everybody!! I can see most of you are confused which is exactly what I would expect!!" He said with his terrible screeching voice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What are you going to do to us?!" Tenko said looking over at Himiko with a worried look on her face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah, why are we all here?" Maki asked unconcerned.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Is this a new motive?!" Kaito yelled. Man, he is always so over the top... I sighed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well if you have noticed all of you are hooked up to lie detectors." What else would these be?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"And today we are going to be playing truth or dare!" I could hear groans echo throughout the gymnasium accompanied by a variety of gasps.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Alright, I gave each one of you a paper of a list of people with a question or a dare to ask them! And keep in mind I know all of your secrets!! So let's get started shall we!!" He announced, causing me to roll my eyes before I realized... What if Saihara-chan finds out I like him? What will he say? Will he be disappointed?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Alright so Shuichi is going to start us off," Monokuma said before Saihara-chan opened his paper nervously.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shit, I can just tell by the way monokuma is looking at me and him something bad is going to happen.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"A-ah u-um Kokichi... Truth or Dare?" He asked looking over at me with a blush on his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Alright, I need to think through this. If I choose truth I have to answer whatever question he asks truthfully and I hate telling the truth... So I think the best bet is dare... Maybe.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I pick Dare Saihara-chan!" I responded trying to keep my fear under control.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Um well... Kokichi, I dare you to sit next to me?" He asked confused looking down at his paper with wide eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Alright I thought you were going to give me a good dare Saihara-chan~," I said getting up and switching spots with Kaito who was originally next to him. But before I could say anything monokuma came over and pushed me and Saihara-chan closer to each other so I was sitting on his lap. I tried to get off and apologize only to be shocked by a collar that I just noticed was around my neck.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh, I forgot to mention if you don't do a dare you will be shocked until you do. And the voltage gets higher every time you disobey." Monokuma said, looking at me with a smirk. My face was red and I was holding onto Saihara-chan's torso and keeping my head to his chest to make sure that I didn't fall off and get shocked again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"A-anyway." Saihara started from behind me causing my blush to increase. I tried to hide my face in his shirt. I hate when my face gets hot...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Kokichi It's your turn to go." He said putting his arms around me to try to be comfortable... I assume. I'm not sure, but I'm not complaining...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh, Kaito, truth or dare?" I asked trying to move my thoughts away from the warmth on my face and the warmth from Saihara-chan making my body want more of his affection, but I can't do that. I don't want to make him madder at me than he already is.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Truth?" He asked, sounding concerned, probably scared of getting shocked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Why did you want to become an astronaut?" I asked looking down at the paper before folding it and putting it in my pocket to only find Saihara's hand around my waist causing me to blush even more. I looked over his shoulder and suppressed my blush before facing Kaito again to get his answer.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well there was this girl who was really into astrology and I wanted to get to know her better. So, I went and learned more about astrology. Only to find that I came to like it and wanted to go to space to see the stars for myself." He said before I giggled a bit.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What are you laughing at?!" Kaito asked, looking over at me with a glare.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh sorry I just thought it was funny you found your passion after trying to impress a girl!" I said before laughing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It's not like that!" He said before looking to the side with a slight blush on his face. After he said this I could feel Saihara laugh from under me. I smiled. Why is he so cute?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Miu Truth or Dare?" Kaito asked to try and stop our laughter.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"T-truth," Miu said nervously.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well um why do you always want to upgrade and do checkups on Keebo?" He asked, causing her face to go bright red.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"W-well I l-like to i-invent things and he is the most interesting and advanced technology I have seen. I-I learn so much from him." She said stuttering and blushing. Keebo blushed as well from that comment.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Anyway, I have been waiting for this!" She yelled and turned her gaze to me and Saihara.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Poochi Truth or Dare?" She asked, causing his face to heat up again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Dare." He said, sounding unusually confident. I didn't expect Saihara-chan to say dare... This is an interesting development.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I dare you to kiss Kokichi!" She yelled from across the room. I looked down at him only to see him with a super nervous expression. His face was so red it must have been burning hot.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I sat there before deciding to make it easier for him and I leaned down so our faces were inches apart. I looked into his eyes and he looked into mine before the nervous expression he was wearing turned to a confident one as he placed his lips onto mine.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His kiss was absolute bliss. Even since I have met him I took a liking to him. When I had to sit on his lap it just made my need for affection increase. I pushed my lips onto his with the same force as he did. He moved his hand into my hair and I moved mine around his neck putting my fingers in the base of his hair. His hair was really soft. I couldn't stop myself from tangling my fingers into his hair. I could tell he was smiling and it caused me to smile as well. We stayed like that until we had to break apart for air and I could tell just like me he didn't want it to end.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I looked at him with my hand still in his hair and pulled him into a hug.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I didn't expect you to do that, but I'm glad you did," I whispered into his ear causing him to shudder.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You guys this already has gotten boring! You are all free to leave!" Monokuma yelled irritated that his plan didn't work.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Saihara and I shared a look. His eyes were absolutely beautiful. I just want him. All of him all to myself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Who knew that one game of Truth or Dare could have led to this?</span>
</p><p>
  <b>A/N Finally finished this one! I hope you enjoyed it!! My best friend Yuuki-San suggested that I did a truth or dare fanfiction. And here it is!</b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>-ShuichiOuma010-</em>
  </b>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Kokichi? {Fluff}</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>It was late and I was still reading in my chair. Because I was trying to get the memory of what happened earlier out of my head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>.  .  .</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Saihara-chan~," Kokichi said, hugging me from behind.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"W-what K-kokichi," I asked in surprise, stuttering and blushing. "I love you~," He said, nuzzling into my back. I could feel the warmth from his body and the heat from my face. I felt like my heart was about to explode. He was just so cute and acted like a little kid. He nuzzled into my back as far as he could go and hugged me tightly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>To flustered to answer I walked away from him a little quickly leaving him confused standing there alone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>.  .  .</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Maybe I should go to bed? Thinking about this is just distracting me." I asked myself before shrugging and continuing to read. I just wanted to finish one more chapter. This was a good book about detectives and crime. I love to read. Sometimes a little too much, so much that I lose track of time... </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eventually, I dozed off and fell asleep in the arms of my chair wishing it was Kokichi before smothering the thought.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>.  .  .</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Kokichi's POV</b>
</p><p>
  <span>"We tried to find out what was wrong with him. He seems to be showing his true feelings with no sense of embarrassment. So the spell you must have set on him to punish him must have given him more courage to do things around Shuichi." I heard them say from outside of the examining room. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Why did Himiko have to do this to him? I was just minding my own business when Himiko got mad at something I said or whatever. To punish me from this she cast a spell on me and it's making me act on anything I think of around Shuichi, no matter how embarrassing it is... The effect makes me forget what I'm doing around Shuichi and I remember what happened shortly after the incident occurs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Ugh," Himiko said, coming back into the examination room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"So, what's going on with me?" I said, folding my arms frowning.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You have a boost of courage around Shuichi." She paused. "And it will last about a week."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"So I'm trapped doing what my mind tells me to do around Shuichi for about a week." I can't believe this will last for a week. Shuichi is going to find out about my feelings towards him. This is literally the worst. I put my head in my hands and groaned. Why does this always happen to me?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah, that's what it looks like."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"UGH," I paused. "I hate you right now you know that right."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah, but it's not like you liked me before."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"That's true."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>.  .  .</span>
</p><p>
  <b>No one's POV</b>
</p><p>
  <span>A week later Saihara noticed that he hadn't seen Kokichi that much. He hadn't seen him except for mealtimes. Even then Kokichi would just leave right after getting his food. He was more than just concerned about him, he was full-blown worried. The guy that makes him feel a certain way just started to avoid him. Maybe it's a lost cause?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Saihara-chan~," He could see Kokichi from the other side of the dining hall. He waved at him with a smile on his face. Shuichi walked over to him only to be trampled. Kokichi smothered him in kisses and hugged him tightly, knocking him over in the process.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"K-Kokichi?" Saihara asked only to be silenced by a passionate kiss from Kokichi. The kiss didn't last long, but it lasted long enough for Shuichi to become flustered and for people to start staring. Shuichi felt his face burning from embarrassment. Kokichi just kept clinging onto Shuichi while hugging him. Kokichi just laid on top of Shuichi holding him like he was the only other person in the room. Shuichi was just laying there very flustered and very confused.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Shuichi's POV</b>
</p><p>
  <span>I slowly got up still holding Kokichi close to me. Rantaro walked over to me and he whispered, trying to not alert Kokichi another person was nearby. "Hey... Kokichi is under a spell and he doesn't have control of his actions around you."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Just then it all clicked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I can't believe-" I started. This explains all the random affection from him, not that I'm complaining-- What no! I can't just use him like this. This must be very hard for him. At least he could have told me what was going on...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Why wouldn't he tell me?" I asked Rantaro.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I don't know if you know, but he seems like he likes you." He paused "I mean by the way he is hugging you right now and how he kissed you earlier... I'll let you figure it out Mr. Detective." He patted me on the shoulder while I stood there dumbstruck. Kokichi likes me! At least I think he does... There is no way! How could he like me, of all people... Why did he not tell me? I'm just so confused. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I was lost in thought before I heard small snores from the boy under me. I looked down and noticed he had fallen asleep. I sighed and smiled at him. I picked him up like a toddler and walked him back to my room. He was surprisingly light, it made me feel a little concerned about his health... but I can ask him later. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>When I got to my room with Kokichi I pulled my dorm key out of my pocket. Unlocking the door I walked over to my bed. I closed the door behind us with my foot and walked over to lay him on my bed so he could rest. I went to sit in my chair and read for the rest of the day. I got up to put my book away only to find Kokichi was sitting up on my bed looking over at me.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Kokichi?" I asked Kokichi as he got off the bed and started to walk over to me.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Saihara-Chan-" He said with a yawn. He rubbed his eyes and pushed me onto the chair before getting in my lap. He closed his eyes before he collapsed into my chest and fell asleep. I sighed and rubbed circles onto his back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Kokichi I'm sorry this happened to you, but I'm glad it was me," I said stroking his hair. Kokichi nuzzled into my chest and mumbled something I couldn't quite hear. I tried to think of what he could have said, but I was tired from all of the events of today. I put my arms around Kokichi and pulled him closer to me unconsciously before falling asleep.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>.  .  .</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Kokichi's POV</b>
</p><p>
  <span>I woke up in Shuichi's arms. I blushed to know that whatever happened yesterday was only because of the spell. I could think clearly around Shuichi so the spell must be over. I tried to get up only to be pulled closer to Shuichi. My face got even redder.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Saihara-Chan I have to go. I'm sorry for the trouble I caused..." I said trying yet again to get out of his grasp. He hugged me closer and mumbled something as he slowly woke up. I looked at his face worried about what he would say when he woke up. He must be furious that someone like me was all over him yesterday. I started to panic as his eyes met mine.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm sorry Saihara-Chan," I said, immediately averting my eyes from his gaze. "Ouma-Kun you're awake." 'Here it comes' I thought as he said this. To my surprise, he put his hand in my hair and started stroking it. I looked at him confused. "I thought you would be mad at me because I was--" He cut me off by hugging me.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Wha--" I started. "Hey it's fine it wasn't your fault it was Himiko's spell after all." He paused "And it's ok because I like you too." He said in a whisper.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Shuichi's POV</b>
</p><p>
  <span>All he did is nuzzle into my chest and whisper: "me too." I continued to pet his hair as I started to get nervous. I think he noticed when my hands started shaking.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Are you ok Saihara-chan?" He mumbled into my chest. "Ah well, I was just.." My hands started to shake more. This is getting to my head. Will he get mad at me? Is this all a lie to confuse me?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Saihara-Chan It's ok I love you too ok and that is not a lie." He said pulling away and holding my face so I would look at him. All I could do is nod. I don't even trust my voice to say the right thing. Kokichi didn't say anything. I started to get flustered and unconsciously pulled my hat over my eyes only to be met with Kokichi's hand. He lifted my hat and my lips met his.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Kokichi's POV</b>
</p><p>
  <span>Saihara- chan's lips are really soft. I really do like him a lot, maybe even love, actually, I love him, so damn much. "Hey it's ok I like to see your eyes you know," I said with a smirk. He just took his hat off and hugged me.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"C-could we maybe be more than f-friends." He stuttered holding me tight. "Of course I'll be your boyfriend Saihara-Chan it would be an honor, Nehehee," I said getting off the chair with a smirk.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well since we got this cleared up you probably want to sleep so I'll go to my dorm--" I was cut off from Shuichi's hands being wrapped around me.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Stay with me." He said in a whisper. "Of course," I said with a small smile and a blush creeping onto my face. I walked over to grab the blanket on the couch and put it on the floor beside the bed. I sat down on the blanket and laid down on my side. "Night Saihara-Chan," I said, closing my eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>No one's POV</b>
</p><p>
  <span>Shuichi walked over to Kokichi, still flustered from before. He mustered up enough courage to pick Ouma up and put him on the bed. Shuichi wrapped his arms around Kokichi and whispered,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I want you to stay here."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kokichi flushed at this, confused. He smiled thinking 'how could he get any cuter.' He turned so he was facing him and snuggled in his chest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'll stay with you forever Saihara-Chan."</span>
</p><p>
  <b>A/N GUYS this is super trashy but I really wanted to write the idea my good friend gave me... I wish I could have written it better, but I hope you enjoyed it. I feel like I changed perspectives too much but rip...</b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>-ShuichiOuma010-</em>
  </b>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. I Killed Him {Angst}</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>
    <em>-Themes of depression and self-harm in this chapter. This is a warning-</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>Shuichi's POV</b>
</p><p>
  <span>Gonta was gone</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Executed for all of us to see...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I just let the tears fall. I looked up and through my blurry vision, I saw Kokichi. Just standing there. With a blank expression.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I was about to walk over to him to see if he was doing alright before. He showed us all the real him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nothing but malice... pure malice...</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Kokichi's POV</b>
</p><p>
  <span>Maybe I went a little bit too far this time with my villain persona... Shuichi said I was alone and would always be... And he was right... Who would want to be with someone like me? I have so many flaws... and I try to hide them by making everyone think I'm this great person... when in reality... I'm just a worthless nobody pleading for attention.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After me and Kaito had our argument and Shuichi said... what he said. I walked back to my room. When I got through the door I immediately fell to the floor dropping my mask and burst into tears. This is all my fault! Gonta was the only one who could kind of tolerate me besides Shuichi... I looked over to my whiteboard. My eyes went to the picture of Shuichi making the feeling of guilt and despair double. My tears felt like fire burning down my cheeks. I wiped them trying to compose myself before the others came back. Then I thought, who would even care if I'm like this.. they would only think I'm lying anyway.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I let the feeling consume me, hands going to my hair and pulling. I needed some way to punish myself for what I have done... my mind went to the blade in my drawer...</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Shuichi's POV</b>
</p><p>
  <span>I was walking back to the dorm's feelings of hopelessness closing out anything else out of my mind. No one else was coming to the dorms yet most of them were still in the trial room, but I had to get out of there... after what I saw... I shook my head. I should try not to think about that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I lifted my head from its place looking down at the floor to hear, someone sobbing? Who could be crying in the dorms right now? Himiko? Kiibo?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I walked closer to the source to see that it was coming from Kokichi's room. I walked up there more to see what was going on than to see Kokichi. Don't get me wrong I'm worried about him, but after what happened I'm more disappointed that I fell for him...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I noticed immediately that his door was wide open. Worried I quickly went into the room and what I saw made the worried feeling only increase.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kokichi was on the floor with a blade in his hand... one arm on the nightstand by his bed the other clutching the blade.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I ran over to him grabbing the blade and throwing it across the room. I just looked at him crying and shaking and I felt my heart shatter.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Is this just a lie?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Is he doing this just to get a reaction from me?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Shuichi, just leave... pretend you never saw this and go on with your day." He said, looking at me pushing my hand away from his bloodied arm. He didn't have any smirk or any teasing look in his eyes. I may just be noticing this now, but his eyes had bags under them and he looked so exhausted and tired I was surprised he was still awake.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His hands pushed me away, but his eyes told me he wanted someone to help him. The guilt of the words I said earlier kicked in. I could feel my cheeks become wet.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Shuichi. You don't have to feel bad I deserved that.. just go." He said, giving another weak shove to my chest. I wrapped my arms around his back not listening to his pleas for me to leave.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Kokichi I'm so sorry for what I said before. I was only thinking of myself and didn't even consider that you might have been affected by all of this. I'm sorry for the way I treated you. I see now that you really aren't who you made me believe you were. And you're not the person who made me feel broken-hearted for loving. I want to help you Kokichi. I can see why you wouldn't want my help-'' I said with a blush coming to my face only to be cut off by a sniffle coming from Kokichi.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I looked down and saw tears falling out of his eyes before he looked into my eyes with an angry look on his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Don't lie to me Shuichi! I'm done putting up with lies from other people! I already have to deal with so many lies from myself!!" He screamed at me.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He has been lying to himself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This all makes so much sense.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A small frown formed on my face. He thinks I'm lying... He must have felt so alone this entire time. Lying to everyone to be able to lie to himself. I'm so sorry I was just adding to all the torment everyone was giving you... I pulled him into my chest petting his hair slowly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Kokichi, I am not lying. Really, I want to help you." I said, pulling away to look at his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>". . ." He didn't say anything, he just looked at me dumbfounded.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You really want to help someone like me?" He asked, confused. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I smiled. "Yes Kokichi, I want to make sure you're ok. And I'm willing to help you get there every step of the way." I said trying to comfort him as best as I could.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Sorry, this is just all so hard to believe... before you said I was alone and was always going to be... and you couldn't have been more right.," he said pulling away and slouching his back against the bed putting his head in his hands.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Kokichi! What I said before meant nothing! I was so focused on how you made me feel that I didn't even think about you at all! Don't ever think that what I said earlier means anything about you! Because, although you seem hard to approach and childish you can be super smart and fun and interesting to be around... and all of that is why I'm so fond of you Kokichi..." I said the last part under my breath, but the blush on Kokichi's face told me he heard every word.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He moved before my brain could process his reaction. And warm lips crashed onto mine only for a moment. Before he pulled away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Thanks for saying that Shuichi... even if it was a lie.." He barely even finished his sentence before he fell asleep on my chest. I looked concerned at first before realizing that he was getting the sleep he needed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I got up and put him into the bed before cleaning and bandaging the wounds on his arms. After I put the covers over him and planted a kiss on his forehead. I'm glad I got to see the real you, Kokichi... I went back to my room before Kokichi called my name.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Shuichi... could you stay with me... I don't wanna... be alone." He said shaking his head trying to stay awake to hear my response. I placed a small smile on my lips.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Of course Kokichi," I said, closing and locking the door before walking over to the bed before he fell back onto the pillow. Right when I got into the covers beside him he turned and with half-lidded eyes, he looked up at me after moving into my chest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Thanks, Shuichi," he said before closing his eyes for the final time and finally giving his body the rest it needed, nuzzling into my chest he let out a content sigh.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I should thank you Kokichi... For being the real you." I said before surrendering myself to sleep and letting my eyes close.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>-thanks for reading!-</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>-ShuichiOuma010-</em>
  </b>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Love Poems I Wrote to You {Angst}</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>Saihara's POV</b>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He died.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He is not here anymore.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Tears streamed down my face as the trial ended. Kaito and Kokichi have both left this world because of this killing game. I watched as Kokichi was crushed and Kaito was killed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I fell to the floor.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Kokichi</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I just started to get to know the real him...</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>There was so much more I wanted to know about him.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I was happy when I was with him or Kaito, but now they are both gone...</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>. . .</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I woke up the next morning after the class trial and execution... My eyes were puffy and probably red from a glance. I got dressed for the day and went to the hanger with the hope of finding them there.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I opened my door and walked down the hallway to the extisal hanger. It was very quiet probably because there are only 4 students left including myself. I sighed as I walked down the empty hallway. My breathing and movement are loud in the silence. The hanger door was opened yesterday after the trial to see the evidence of the crime. It seems they left it open since yesterday. I walked in the hangar and looked at all the extisal's out of commission for the time being.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>My heart stopped as I walked down into where the hydraulic press was with Kokichi's remains smashed into mush inside. I slowly walked to the hydraulic press and found it to be cleaned up from yesterday. The press was no longer crushed together with blood everywhere. It was clean and suspended ready for another thing to be a victim to it.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Ouma</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>I couldn't stop thinking about him. He gave his life to end this killing game only to have it continue. I sat down by the press and something caught my eye. There was the corner of what seemed to be a notebook hidden under the press. I got up and walked over to it. What could a notebook be doing here? I looked under the press and picked it up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Curious I opened the cover. In neat handwriting it said;</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I'm not sure anyone will ever find this, but if anyone does I'm hoping it's my beloved Saihara-Chan.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>-Ouma</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>I was baffled by what the writing said. He knew he was going to do this. So, this is the last thing he wants to say to the world or more like me. I was super curious why this is the one thing he decided to leave behind. I flipped through the pages and saw that most of the pages were filled. He must have been working on this for a while. I started reading on the page after the intro. In neat handwriting in purple ink.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Roses and Violets</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>You know that poem roses are red, violets are blue?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>It's the poem most people give to a loved one on valentines.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I will never be able to give this to the one I love,</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>but it's better to write it down than to keep it in.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Violets are the color of your beautiful straight hair</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>that always seems to fall in your face.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Daffodils are the way I feel when you smile.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Carnations are like your personality</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>so pretty and colorful</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>You always make me want to know more</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>you are what makes me feel like a peaceful sunset</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>in a hell like this.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Lilacs are the color of me,</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I know I come off as a crazy liar</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>but if you knew me you would see</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>that I'm really calm and sweet</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>like the beautiful lilacs that bloom so great</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I'm just waiting for the day to come</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>but I'm becoming too tired to wait</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I love the sunset all the colors mixing</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>and making a beautiful picture for us to all see.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I would love to have my purple have a taint of blue</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Because you make me want to be the best I can be</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Just for you</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>I stopped reading. Is it Kokichi that wrote this? I never knew he could write such lovely words. This is not what I expected at all and is this written for me?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This was too strange for me to get my bearings. So Kokichi wrote this for me? He must have felt so alone as the press came down on his body. And the last thing I told him before he died was...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He thought I hated him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The things I said in the last class trial.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tears started to fall onto the notebook. I can't forgive myself for what I have said to him. I really wanted to get to know him, but he always hides behind a mask. I wanted to get to know the real him, but I guess I never got the chance.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Sad eyes</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Don't be looking at me with those sad eyes</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Don't be telling me your lies</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>It could be just you and me for all eternity</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I know you hate all the things I've said</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>You must want me dead</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I still can't get you out of my head</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Your smile that helps me keep going</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Your flustered personality</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Makes me go crazy</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I wish I could have told you before it was too late</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>But I guess this is my fate</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>[If you're reading this Saihara-Chan I wanted to apologize for everything. I'm sorry that I left, but maybe that's what you wanted. I hope you can end the killing game. Best of luck!]</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>-Ouma</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>I guess it was too late.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Ouma-Kun I am so sorry for what I have done," I said, placing my hand on the press.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I should have been there. I should have told you the truth... But I guess you will never be able to hear me say the words that needed to be said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Because now you're dead</span>
</p><p>
  <b>-This is not where I expected this to go. Well, my best friend gave me a prompt where Ouma left behind a notebook full of poems for Saihara and this is what I came up with. I hope I made it how you wanted it to be. Thanks for reading!-</b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>-ShuichiOuma010-</em>
  </b>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. New Motive {Angst/Fluff}</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Shuichi's POV</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It's been a while since any killings have happened and I'm really nervous. Another killing could happen... Another motive could be given... I just can't take it anymore. We have lost so many people already...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Saihara-Chan~" When I heard Kokichi's voice I snapped out of my thoughts and turned around to face him. "What do you want Kokichi? I'm not in the mood for your jokes." I said irritated, turning away from him because any of the last times he confronted me he was always telling me he liked me or loved me before taking it back saying "It's a lie". I'm just done with him messing with my feelings.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You have a scary look on your face... Don't be so cold to me because..." He paused, but I didn't bother looking back at his face.  "I love you Saihara-Chan." He said taking my head in his hands, making me face him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"And I want you to love me as much as I love you." His face was getting closer and my face was getting hotter. He was so close to my lips I closed my eyes waiting in anticipation. Was he really going to kiss me? I had a little hope in me that maybe the toying had ended and-</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Saihara-chan your face was priceless!!" He said bursting into laughter as my face burned hotter than the sun. Before I could even react he ran out of the room. I felt so embarrassed, but before my shame could get any worse the announcement went off.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ding Dong Ding Dong</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Students meet in the gymnasium for a special announcement!" Monokuma screeched before the monitor shut off. What could he want this time? With a sluggish motion, I got up from the table and walked to the gym.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When I got there everybody was standing around looking as confused as I felt. "Heyo Ultimates!" Monokuma yelled abruptly randomly appearing like he always does...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I brought all of you here to tell you guys about the new motive!" When he said this I couldn't even keep my anxiety under control. Another motive... Another murder... It caused my whole body to shudder.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You are all going to learn secrets about another student at this academy! They will all be revealed to each of you at the night time announcement in a sealed envelope! Have fun killing!" He said before disappearing as abruptly as he came.</span>
</p><p>
  <span> What is he going to tell people about me?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>.  .  .</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The sealed envelope.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I just stared at it. I couldn't bear the thought of having something personal of somebody else's and someone having a personal thing of mine. My heart was pounding as I took the letter in my hand. I slowly opened the letter and looked down at it. My eyes widened when I saw the name.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kokichi Ouma</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I got Kokichi's letter? I read the page.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kokichi Ouma</span>
</p><p>
  <span>-is the leader of a gang of pranksters with 10 members.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>-is afraid of being alone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>-Has attachment issues from abandonment.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>-is madly in love with Shuichi Saihara.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I slowly read through the last one. He loves me? Then why is he always toying with me- I looked back at the other ones and the realization kicked in. He must be afraid of getting attached to me so whenever he shows his real feelings he pushes me away because he is afraid of being abandoned.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I could feel my cheeks get wet before I realized... I was crying.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kokichi's POV</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I was pacing around my room the only thought in my mind was who got me? My breathing was starting to increase in speed. I fell to the floor with the unopened letter in my hand, tears falling onto it while I shakily opened it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shuichi Saihara</span>
</p><p>
  <span>-is self-degrading</span>
</p><p>
  <span>-has low self-esteem</span>
</p><p>
  <span>-is afraid of being alone</span>
</p><p>
  <span>-biggest fear is abandonment</span>
</p><p>
  <span>-Has a crush on Kokichi Ouma</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Saihara-chan has the same fear as me... And he likes me. My face went hot at the thought of him liking me back. Maybe I should just tell him... Because he must feel the same way according to this letter. But he might be mad with the way I'm always toying with him... </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Knock Knock</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Startled, I hesitated before walking over to the door. I opened it to reveal Saihara-chan?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Saihara-chan what are you-" I started to ask him but was cut off by his arms being wrapped around me. He didn't say anything while my face was burning with embarrassment. I'm usually good at playing it off, but I can't suppress my blush while he is hugging me.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Kokichi, I'm sorry." He said, confusing me. Why is he sorry?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No Saihara-chan, I should be sorry. I have been messing with you and you have every right to be mad at me." I said trying to keep my tears at bay.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Kokichi... I wanted to apologize for not realizing it sooner..." He said into my shoulder where he put his head when he hugged me. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I should have never been rude to you for your behavior towards me... because you were only doing what you felt would protect you... but I want to tell you right here and now... Kokichi." He paused looking into my eyes after raising his head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I won't abandon you." He said with a smile causing the tears I was trying so hard to hold back to come pouring down my cheeks. I tried to cover my eyes with my hands only to be met with Saihara's hands. His thumbs wiped away the tears while his hands were gently placed on both of my cheeks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He didn't say anything, he only pulled my face towards his. I could tell he was nervous because his face looked uncertain and his hands were shaking against my cheeks. But before I could say anything he gently kissed my lips.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I just stared at him wide-eyed and seeing his eyes were closed I closed mine too. A smile formed on my face as I moved my arms around his neck. When I did this I could feel him smile against my mouth and he moved his hands to my hips deepening the kiss. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>We both stayed like this as long as we could before breaking apart for air. We just looked at each other as if in a trance by the other's eyes. He smiled causing my heart to melt.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I promise you Kokichi, I will never abandon you."</span>
</p><p>
  <b>-Sorry for taking so long to update. I have had a hard time finding motivation... Thanks for being patient with me! Thanks for reading!-</b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>-ShuichiOuma010-</em>
  </b>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. The Things We Could Have Done {Angst}</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>Shuichi's POV</b>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Kokichi</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>You always seemed to catch my eye</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>But you never let the truth slip from your grasp</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Surrounding yourself with all your lies</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>With a fake persona topped with a mask</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I wanted to get to know you </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Wanted to be able to see the truth behind your eyes</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>But you only tried to fool me</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Spinning me into your web of lies</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Eventually I became fond of you</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Tried to ask you if you felt the same</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Only to be met with the same grin and a laugh</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Making me think I was so lame</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>The smile you always wore</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I could always see the lies that you used to hide</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>All the things on your mind</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>The things I wanted to know</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Were the things you never show</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Thoughts of you began to fill my mind</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Blushing as the flustering thoughts came</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I couldn't think of anything else</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Teasing showing in all the others eyes</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Only reminded me the way you make me feel</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Could just be another lie</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>When the trial came when you lost it</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I was full of disappointment for your actions</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Words were said that could never be taken back</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>We were distanced from each other </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Causing me so much shame</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>For the words I wish I never said</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>When we got to the press</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I could feel that you were no longer with me</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Feelings were just shame and guilt</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>For not being able to keep you safe</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Tears fell down my face</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Wishing I could have at least been able to save one</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>And you would have been the one I would keep safe</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>The pain of losing a close friend </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>And a past love</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Made my heart break and shatter</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>As my thoughts began to scatter</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Full of self hate and lies</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Causing me to painfully cry</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Over something that was never mine</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Whenever I think of you </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>It makes my blush come back</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Before the tears come again</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Face turning red</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Tears start to spread</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Now your dead</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Your still in my head</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Tormenting my thoughts </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Making me want to see you again</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Only to be met with the truth </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>That brings me so much despair</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I will never be able to have you near</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Never able to hear </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>The words my heart is screaming</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I love you</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Never to be seen again</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Torment of what I could have done</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>So many people lost because of me</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>So now I sit here</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Wishing I was dead</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <span>I looked up from the paper that was now stained with tears feeling myself being consumed by more and more thoughts. It should have been me. It should have been me! IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN ME!!</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The screams in my head made my tears come down faster as my breathing quickened.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Saihara-Chan</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>I looked around the room seeing I was alone. Who said that?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Kokichi?" I said, voice hoarse from the sobs that were bursting through my throat.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>It's not your fault.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>"But it is Kokichi! You died because of me! It should have been me..." I pulled my knees up to my chest hiding my face in them. I tried to give myself some sort of comfort from the embrace.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Stop blaming yourself</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I should have trusted you</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>I looked up, face flushed and teary eyed to see a little light coming from the side of the press. Confused, I walked over to see what it was. I went to touch it before it moved.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Hello Saihara-Chan</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I hope you don't mind that I'm still here</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>You must be so mad at me.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>I looked down at the paper in my hands before placing it on the press.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm not mad Kokichi... I should have told you..." I said hoping he would just understand what I was trying to get across to him.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>What did you need to tell me</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>I stayed silent, a blush coming to my face. I tried to cover it with my hand but from the small giggles I heard I'm assuming it didn't do much.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>So Saihara-Chan</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>While the press was closing in on me</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>With the poison flowing through my veins</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I wanted to do one last thing before I died</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>But then crash!</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>The press came down on me</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>So I never got to do what I wanted to do</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>What a shame.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>I felt sad when he brought up his death. But I couldn't tell if he was still toying with me.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Kokichi what did you want to do? I could do it for you if you want..." I said moving the hand in front of my face to the back of my neck scratching it nervously.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Well I highly doubt Saihara-Chan would be able to do what I wanted to do.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>"What do you mean?" I asked. What kind of task was it that he thought I couldn't do.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Well if you want to know...</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I wanted to tell you something.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>So his dying wish was to tell me something? Why me?</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I wanted to tell Saihara-Chan</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>That I was hopelessly in love with him.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>But I had no idea how to tell him.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>And now I'm dead and never got the chance.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>"K-Kokichi?" He loved me? Then why was he always teasing me and laughing at me when I got nervous around him?</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Yeah it's true</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I thought I wouldn't lie to you now</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Because there would be no point</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Seeing as I'm no longer there to tease you.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>I could feel the tears coming to my eyes. The one person I loved couldn't tell me he felt the same way... and now because of me he is dead... Sobs escaped my mouth and I could feel his essence move to my side.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Saihara-Chan is always such a cry baby.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Smile you made it!</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>You beat the killing game just like I knew you would.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He was silent for a moment while my crying calmed down.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Well now I have said what I came to say</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I have to leave now</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Goodbye Saihara-Chan</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He said before the light disappeared from view.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Kokichi wait!!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Shuichi? What are you doing here?" Maki said with Himiko coming into the hanger behind her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I didn't say anything, I just wiped my tears.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"We should get going." Himiko said shortly after.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I nodded and we started walking out of the hanger. I looked back at the paper I left at the press.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Goodbye Kokichi... I love you.." I said under my breath leaving the hanger.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I love you too Shuichi Saihara</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>-</em>
  </b>
  <b>I hope you liked this one. I really enjoy writing poetry and liked how this one turned out. Hope you enjoyed and thanks for reading!-</b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>-ShuichiOuma010-</em>
  </b>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. I Don't Need Anyone Being Alone is Great {Angst}</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>Kokichi's POV</b>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Everyone is always so happy being surrounded by others. I never really understood why. When they have those genuine smiles on their faces all I can do is glare. How can they be so genuinely happy? When I don't even know if I have ever expressed genuine emotions. I don't even know the last time I was... Happy?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Shuichi walked into the AV room while I watched with the same look I gave anyone before he walked over and sat by me? What is going on? He has never done something like this before. Where are his other "friends"? Where's the murderer and the idiot?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"Hey Kokichi. Planning on watching anything?" He asked looking right at me. What is he trying to do? Is he trying to hangout with me? Why would he want to? I'm such an asshole to his friends. So why out of everyone here has he chosen to come to me?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"No, I have no clue why I came here." I looked over to the case of DVD's. I did come here to be alone, but I mean telling him a lie like that isn't bad. He should be leaving me alone anyway. Just like everyone else does...</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"Oh well I came to see if you wanted to come to the library with me. If you want to?" He asked. I didn't bother looking up. Is he joking?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"Well if you want to sure, let's go to the library." I said with the best smile I could put on. God when could I be done with this... all of this... I'm so done pretending for all these assholes...</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>We walked to the library and Shuichi was surprisingly close to me. I could feel his warmth as our arms touched as we made our way down the hall. I could feel my face beginning to get hot. I put my hands on my face. Why is this happening? I'm better off alone and he is just going to toy with me anyway so don't get your hopes up! I mentally yelled at myself for letting my emotions get the better of me and because I couldn't hide the way I feel about certain people hidden very well.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"Well here we are." He said, gesturing to the door. It seemed like he was trying to be welcoming? Well I'm not falling for it.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"So why did you want to take me here in the first place? Is it because you want to kill me Shuichi?" Just like everyone else.. I added silently. I asked in my usual teasing tone. Why did he really want to bring *me* here?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"Well I wanted to... spend some time with you... I really don't want to kill you! Why do you always think that..." I could tell his face was getting hot by the dark red color his cheeks were becoming. What the hell is happening!! This must be some kind of prank. What the hell happened to Shuichi?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"Um you wanted to spend time with me?" I asked trying to not let him know how unsettled I was.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"Yeah you're really fun to be around?" He said, sounding more confused than I was. Does he really not know why he brought me here? Fun to be around... yeah right!</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I didn't say anything for a moment to study his facial expression. I only saw that he was nervous. Man what is going on today?!</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"Hey Shuichi, What kind of books do you like to read?" I asked trying to get off the topic of me. Because most people get angry or bored when I talk too much about me or at all for that matter.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"I really like reading mystery books to try and figure out the mystery. It makes me feel very interested and I could read them for hours." He seemed to calm down while saying his answer.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"Kokichi, what books do you like?" He asked twiddling his fingers nervously.,</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"I really like reading anything to do with crime. I really like reading about how culprits can be so smart and still not smart enough to not get caught." I paused, putting my hand to my chin.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"I like how it can keep me entertained for long periods of time." I said, finishing my statement.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Shuichi and I walked through the shelves until he stopped and sat down in a spot surrounded by books.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"You can come sit down Kokichi." He said, patting the spot by him. I hesitated before walking over and plopping down next to him.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"Hey I think you will really like this book I found a couple days ago," he said, handing me a book called the naturals </span>
  </em>
  <b>
    <em>(this is a real book and I really liked it. So if you want to you can read it.)</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I opened the book.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Hours passed as me and Shuichi sat and read while turning to talk to each other every so often. It was fun being around him. Maybe... no you can't! He would just abandon you like all the others. He is no different. He will just deceive you... a frown formed on my face before I realized and turned it into the best smile I could muster.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>We read up until the night time announcement went off.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"Shuichi it was fun but" before I could finish my comment his head fell on my shoulder.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>My face immediately turned red as I froze. I can't wake him up, that's rude, but what do I do? I looked around the room seeing if anyone else was around. Seeing no one I sighed.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Ok... I can't get into his room. So should I just let him sleep in mine? Would that be weird? I should be distancing myself from him! Not inviting him into my room!</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>After about 20 minutes of my mind arguing with itself, I decided that I was going to take him to my room.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I walked with him on my back slowly because I'm not really that strong and Shuichi is taller than me so.. I walked as fast as I could to my room and surprisingly no one was around.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Finally getting to my room I unlocked the door and walked it plopping him on my bed and putting the covers over him. I smiled at how calm he looked before I smacked my cheeks. You can't think like that! You are so much better alone! He would just get in the way. I could feel a tear come down my cheek.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I'm alone.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I'm lonely.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>No one wants me.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>They all hate me.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I sighed could you just give me a break? I pulled out some blankets in the closet and started making a spot for me to sleep beside the bed. When I finished I cried silently before falling asleep.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>The light from the window was too bright. My eyes shot open when I felt something moving beside me. I quickly looked behind me to see Shuichi holding me in his arms. Why is he holding me? I started to cry. Why is he making this so hard? I want to trust you, but I don't want to be hurt again. I felt him shift before the arms around me tightened.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"Kokichi, I wanted to tell you earlier... that I wanted to hang out with you because... I like you."</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He likes me.......</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Wait! He likes me!!!</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>No no no no no no no no no no! He can't like me! I shouldn't have gone with him today. I should have stayed away from him. If he finds out about the real me. Then it's all over. He will definitely hate me and leave me. And I don't want to go through that again! I pushed him away from me.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"No you don't! If you knew who I really was! You would hate me! Just like all the others!!" I was wiping my eyes to try and stop the tears but they just came pouring out of my eyes while my sobs just got louder.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"Kokichi... are you scared?" He asked, coming over to me wrapping his arms around me. I didn't say anything because I really don't want him to know about my biggest fear.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Being abandoned and left alone.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I just kept crying and he held me tighter and started to say sweet things into my ear.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"It's ok Kokichi"</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"I'm here ok"</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"I'm not going to leave."</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>The sobs kept coming, making me feel even more exhausted than I already was. I hugged him back tightly.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"You make it so hard for me.." I said in between sobs.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"Make what so hard?" He said, pulling back to look at me.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"You make it so hard to not like you!" He tried to say something, but I just cut him off.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"I want to keep myself safe but you make me feel so safe with you! But I know what's going to happen! You are going to leave me just like everyone else! Everyone one leaves me in the end! And I'm always left alone-" before I could continue he put his lips to mine causing my eyes to widen.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"Do you understand now... that I would never think of leaving you Kokichi."</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"But what if-" before I could finish my thought he brought my face into his chest hugging me tighter.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"I will never leave you." He said, placing a kiss on my forehead.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I will never leave you Kokichi</span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <b>-here you go another angsty one. I have no clue what I'm writing... I hope you enjoyed and thanks for reading!-</b>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>-ShuichiOuma010-</em>
  </b>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Cuddles {Fluff}</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>Shuichi's POV </b>
</p><p>
  <span>I woke up with Kokichi in my arms. He was still asleep, I just pulled him closer and cuddled him trying to wake him up. He shifted and cuddled closer into my chest mumbling something before going quiet again. I found it so cute how even while he was asleep he unconsciously cuddled closer to me. My face went red. I really do love Kokichi...because he is so damn cute! It's not fair!</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Shuichi..." he mumbled again. I moved my hands to play with his hair. Knowing he really liked it when I played with his hair.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Funny story actually, I was hanging out with Kokichi and Kaede and I accidentally put my hand in Kokichi's hair and he leaned into my hand. This caused Kaede to look over at Kokichi with a mischievous look in her eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Later in the week, Kokichi was walking down the hallway and Kaede snuck behind him and put her hand in his hair.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He turned around with a surprised look in his eyes before they turned into an annoyed and angry expression before he yelled,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Kaede! Only Shuichi gets to touch my hair!!" He said before running over to where I was and sitting on my lap and hugging me showing everyone that in fact, I was his. Kaede looked so shocked in the moment but now whenever I bring it up it causes her to laugh while Kokichi just gets annoyed. Even when he is annoyed he still looks too cute!</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Shuichi?" Kokichi asked, snapping me out of my thoughts. He looked up, eyes looking like they could close any second. This was the norm for us. I wake up early and Kokichi likes to sleep with me holding him in my arms.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Good morning Kokichi. How did you sleep?" I asked combing my fingers through his hair. "Ngh..." He groaned moving even farther into my chest. I smiled and went back to playing with his hair.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hey, ShuShu?" He asked while I moved my hands to his waist to pull him closer to me. "Yeah what is it Kokichi?" I asked leaning my head down so I could put it on top of his. "I just wanted to tell you I love you... and I love how we can do this together..." He said with a yawn.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I love you too Kokichi. I love to be like this with you. I wouldn't ever want to give it up for the world." I said. He moved his hands to my back. Not saying anything as we both laid there in each other's arms. I was fine with the silence, it wasn't awkward it was actually very calming to just be with him in our room. I liked the feeling of his calm breathing from beside me. I loved how we could do this every morning.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I put the side of my face farther into the pillow scooting down so I could see his face. His eyes were still closed and he looked calm. I like how when he is asleep he doesn't have the mask he usually wears around others. He just is Kokichi and that's exactly what I want him to be all the time. I know he does it because he is comfortable with that and I'm happy I'm the one person he trusts enough to not have his mask on around.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I kissed his eyes and his forehead before putting my forehead to his. "I love you Kokichi," I said before letting myself close my eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>-Sorry, this one is shorter than the others... I hope you enjoyed! Thanks for reading!-</b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>-ShuichiOuma010-</em>
  </b>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. They Hate me so I'm Faking {Angst} [SongFic]</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>
    <em>Don't cut me, punch me, just let me go</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>Kokichi POV</b>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Another day at the ultimate academy for gifted juveniles. I was going to walk to the cafeteria to eat something cause I haven't eaten for who knows how long. This game is really getting to my head. I can't even remember why I'm even trying anymore.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>When I was almost consumed by my thoughts Saihara walked into the cafeteria by himself. My thoughts immediately dispersed and I was greeted by his smile.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Into the nurse's office where I float away</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I always feel at ease when he is with me. But not when he is here with his comrades because like everyone else they want me dead.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>And I can't say I don't want the same.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>I'm pale as the loose-leaf paper they grow</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"Good morning, Ah! Ouma-kun you look pale are you doing alright?" I can see why he is concerned. Before Rantaro died he was always trying to get me to eat, but now Saihara-chan is my only motivation to keep going.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>From hollowing out all my lungs in the snow</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"I'm alright Saihara-chan-" I was going to say more but was cut off by another coughing fit. The petals came out as I turned away wishing and hoping he didn't see.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>His pity is the last thing I need.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Yeah, I'm coughing</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>The coughing only got worse trying to respond so I just thought "might as well suck it up and bare it wouldn't want Saihara-chan to have to be worried about someone as worthless as me." I bore the coughing with a pained smile.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I didn't notice Saihara moved until I felt a hand on my shoulder. I slowly turned my head as the coughing died down.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>I'm bleeding, Band-Aids won't heal it</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"Ouma-kun! You're bleeding I need to take you to the infirmary!" Saihara said with a worried expression.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"Don't worry about me Saihara-chan." Your friends wouldn't like knowing someone like you cares about someone like me. I added silently.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>'Cause they hate me, so I'm fakin'</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"You can't refuse, you need help. I'm not going to just let you die," Saihara said shakily, holding onto my arm with tears coming to his eyes.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"Saihara-chan what if I told you I was faking the whole time!" I said with my cocky persona getting up from the table and walking out of the cafeteria leaving Saihara on the floor with a look of disappointment and worry.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>All, all, all this so they take, take me</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I had to tell him that so he will leave me alone. I don't want to drag him down with me. I ran to my room ignoring the worried yells from behind me. Closing the door behind me another coughing fit started.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>My lungs felt like they were on fire. With every cough more blood, petals, and thorns came out of my throat. I tried to cry but I was so exhausted, I could barely move.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Take me home</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I wish that I could go back to the time when I didn't know Saihara-chan and it was just me and DICE against the world.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>The coughing would have never started.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>The fire in my lungs would be cool.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I wouldn't have to pretend I'm not in pain constantly.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Give me that pink slip of permission</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I wish I could just die.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>But I'm far too weak to be able to do it myself so maybe this disease will take pity on me and just get my sad pathetic life over with.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I wish I could get a slip to get out of this.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>To get away from all of this.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Saihara-chan, why do you cause me so much pain.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>This is old</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Banging came from the door with the same yells that Rantaro would yell at me when he was still alive...</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"Come on come out!"</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"Please just let me in!"</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"Tell me what's going on!"</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"I want to help you!"</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>The same lies every time this gets so old. I'm so tired of all of this shit.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>I'm tired of wishing I was ditching</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I'm tired of all these thoughts plaguing my mind. I want to be able to get back to DICE. I can't die like this! But it seems so tempting to just end it here. They would understand right.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Click</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Shit, I left the door unlocked, didn't I?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Saihara-chan just leave me here. Get on with your life, forget about me. I'm a waste of your time. I would have said this to get him to leave, but I was in so much pain only groans and whimpers came out. I opened my tightly closed eyes to see Saihara-chan kneeling beside me with tears in his eyes. Tojo-chan was also standing behind him with a troubled expression.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Why do you guys care so much?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Ooh, ooh-ooh</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Tojo-chan ran off probably to get something to clean up the mess of blood and petals on the floor. I could barely hear anything as my eyes kept trying to shut. I looked into Saihara-chan's eyes.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"Ouma-kun why didn't you tell me? I could have come sooner!"</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"Who is the one causing this?" He yelled at my limp body. I shakily raised my hand and placed it on his cheek.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"You..." I said before everything went black.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Teacher, can I sit right there?</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I woke up in what seemed like a dream. It was when I was younger and would get bullied constantly. They were punching and kicking me in the stomach and face. To be honest I looked like shit.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Then it went black and faded into another dream of when I tried to tell the teacher what was going on with the other older students. And what they were doing to me.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>This bitch behind me is cutting my hair</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I watched them give my younger self another punch to the face. Yelling at me and telling me I'm</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>a tattletale</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>a waste of space</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>worthless</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>They pulled the scissors out and they cut my cheek removing some of my hair in the process.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>memories of a past life.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>The words they said cut deep</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>"No, just sit your ass down at the chalkboard and stare"</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>The teacher came out and made the kids leave. You would think she would have taken me to the nurses' office, but she just yelled at me and told me I should have stood up for myself.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Maybe I should have been better</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Maybe I should be better.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Where even am I right now?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>I faked up a seizure and left outta there</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I was watching myself get emotionally abused from the third person before I screamed and held my head. The screams came into my ears and I didn't know if they were his or mine.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>It faded to black again and then it faded into a place more familiar.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>The ultimate academy for gifted juveniles.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>It was when I first met Saihara-chan... He walked into the room I was in with Keeboy and he seemed annoyed at my behavior. I mean who wouldn't. He kept asking me about DICE and I gave him the same answer I gave everyone else. This is when my interest in him blossomed.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Saihara-chan was I interesting to you?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Yeah, I'm coughing</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Cough</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Cough</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>COUGH</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>My eyes shot open as another coughing fit came. Blood and petals came out of my mouth while my eyes shut tight. The burning in my lungs came back. Saihara-chan, why do you cause me so much pain. Saihara-chan help me! I tried to scream for his help, but couldn't because my voice was absolutely devastated.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"Ouma-Kun!" Saihara-chan screamed holding my back.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Don't even try Saihara-chan I'm not worth it.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Tears started falling from my eyes and streaming down my cheeks. The coughing came to a slow stop. My breathing was very hoarse.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>This is when I'm going to die.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>I'm bleeding, Band-Aids won't heal it</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"Sai- Saih- ar- a ch- cha- n" I muttered out as the blood was still dripping down my chin.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"Ouma-Kun?" He asked eyes red and puffy from crying.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"I-I- m- S- s- sor- ry f- or- a- a- a-ll o-f t-th -his." I said hoarsely.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"Ouma-kun you don't have to apologize. I should be sorry."</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He should be sorry?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>'Cause they hate me, so I'm fakin'</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"I'm sorry Ouma-kun I should have seen what was going on..."</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"Everyone was planning to kill you. I thought they were all joking until they were outside of your room one night..."</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>All, all, all this so they take, take me</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Take me home</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"Ouma I was the only one who was against this plan. They all wanted you dead-" Saihara cut himself off with his own sobs.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"Sai- hara ch- chan," I said, pulling him into a hug.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He deserves so much more than that.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Give me that pink slip of permission</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>This is old</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I started tracing circles in his back. He deserves so much better than me. He shouldn't be giving me the time of the day.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"I'm sorry Saihara-chan, but maybe it would be better if I was dead..."</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>I'm tired of wishing I was ditching</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Ooh, ooh-ooh</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"Kokichi!! How can you say that!" He pulled away angry. His face was red and his eyebrows were furrowed. Those words must have really angered him.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>That must just be because he doesn't want anyone else to get killed so we have to have another trial.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Shame I almost believed that he gave a shit about me...</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Take me home</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Give me that pink slip of permission</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>This is old</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"Sorry-" I was going to apologize before I felt his lips on mine.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"Mmph?!" I tried to say something to ask him what he was doing but he just put his hands on the back of my head and tangled them into my hair. I felt the petals and leaves leave my lungs. I finally kissed back. He likes me back! If the petals aren't there anymore he must love me as much as I love him.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>But why?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Why? </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>I'm tired of wishing I was ditching</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Home</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Old</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"I'm sorry Ouma-kun I acted before I could think-" He cut himself off when he saw me staring blankly at him with tears falling down my face.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"Saihara-Chan!" I said before hugging him tightly.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"Ouma-kun?!" He said before I smothered him with kisses.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"Thank you so much! I can finally breathe again!" I said nuzzling into his chest taking in his scent. I could tell his face went red after I told him. Cause after all he is the one that happened to capture this supreme leaders' heart.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"I love you."</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>-this may not be my best work. I'm not saying anything I write is, but I hope it is alright and enjoyable to read.-</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>-ShuichiOuma010-</em>
  </b>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Drama Club {Angst} [SongFic]</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>
    <em>Everyone's so soft, everyone's so sensitive</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Do I offend you? You're hanging on my sentences</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Kokichi</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>
      <br/>
    </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>I don't mean to lie and cause you to become angry by my words. I'm always on edge from the situation we are in... You are the only one I would think to trust. But this would never happen because of my many problems with trust. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I like to joke around to keep the mood light, but because of the fright and the weight on all of our shoulders... I come off as an asshole instead of what I mean to be.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I hate that you are always around him. Kaito Mamota. He is an idiot. You need to get your thoughts together and be friends with me instead of him. We could end this together. It makes me so mad that you chose him over me. It would be better if it was that way. But that's a lie. It's probably best for you to stay away from me. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>You can keep your costume and you can keep your mask</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>I' ma take a bow so you can kiss my ass</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Shuichi</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>
      <br/>
    </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>You always lie. Whenever I'm around you I find it hard to tell when you are being genuine. You always have to keep this mask on. I don't know why you insist on pushing people away... Why do you insist on pushing me away? I could help you. I never know what's going on in your head and I don't know why you act the way you do... Because it makes all the others wish you were dead... </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I don't know a lot of things about you... Why you do a lot of the things you do. But I won't call you out. If it is how you are comfortable...then I will stand by and watch you from the sidelines. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>I never signed up for your drama</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Up for your drama, up for your drama club</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Kokichi</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>
      <br/>
    </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>I never wanted this to happen especially not to someone like you. I wish it could go back to the way it was before because I could just mess around...and not have to be watched this closely. All the people here stare and glare at me and I never wanted all this attention on me, but maybe it's better if they hate me...then they won't get hurt from what I have to do. They won't get in the way of my plans.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>I never signed up for your drama</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Up for your drama club</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Shuichi</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>
      <br/>
    </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>I don't like having to show my face. Having to look at their hurt faces when they are the ones who are guilty. All the memories come flowing in and I just want to put my hat back on and hide my face. But I know that's not what Kaede would want. I know that would break my promise to her. I never liked having to find the truth... Especially when it incriminates so many important people to me. But I have to do this for her and for you. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>They try to feed you lines that you have to memorize</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>You always hide behind your Wizard of Oz disguise</em>
  </b>
</p><p><em><span>Kokichi</span></em> <em><span><br/></span></em><em><span>Sometimes I feel like the things I have to do aren't even me. I feel like I'm not myself anymore. I can't remember who I am anymore. So many people have already been lost and I can't think that I'm not the one to blame. When I could have stopped this horrible game.</span></em></p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Do you even have a brain? You're sticking to a page</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>You're faking all your pain, yeah, you're bleeding on a stage</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Shuichi</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>
      <br/>
    </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>Most of the people here have their own personality and I become closer to them. Only to find that they are not the person they came off as. I can't help but think that it's only a matter of time before I find out everyone is lying. Have you already figured it out? Who is telling the truth and who is not? I wish I knew what you were thinking. I wish you would be honest with me.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>I never signed up for your drama</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Up for your drama, up for your drama club</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Kokichi</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>
      <br/>
    </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>I can't do this anymore. Everyone that could tolerate me to an extent has already left. Betrayal is the only thing I feel. Everyone that I thought could help just helps to continue this hell.  I don't know who to trust anymore. Can I trust anyone? Can I trust you? Can I trust myself?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>I never signed up for your drama</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Up for your drama club (ooh)</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Shuichi</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>
      <br/>
    </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>Every trial. Every day that passes by my anxiety rises. The feeling of overwhelming despair that is dominant here. I can't think of anything else other than the worried feeling that's always in my gut. Worried about another cycle of the never ending circle of torment and despair. I can't even dream of getting any good sleep. It's becoming hard to eat. I don't want to do this anymore. Every fiber in my being is screaming. No more.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>I never signed up for your drama club (ooh)</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>For your drama club</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Kokichi</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>
      <br/>
    </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>I'm getting tired of the same thing every day. Gonta shouldn't have been the one to suffer for my mistake. It should have been me. I wanted to apologize to you for the way I acted. The way I </span>
  </em>
  <b>
    <em>lied</em>
  </b>
  <em>
    <span> to you. I wanted to tell you so much, but I made you hate me too.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>I never signed up for your drama (ooh)</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Up for your drama, up for your drama club</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Shuichi</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>
      <br/>
    </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>I never meant to say what I said to you after the trial. I never meant to tell you what all the others thought...</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>You're alone and you always will be.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>That is not true, but I was so hurt by the words you were saying that they just came out... I didn't mean to make you feel the way you did. I know you lie about how you feel. Like when you said no one would care if you died. I could tell that was just a lie. I could tell that it hurt you when others say these things to you. But the mistake I made was staying away from you.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Never signed up for your drama (ooh)</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Up for your drama, up for your drama club</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Kokichi</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>
      <br/>
    </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>This is what I have to do...I don't have much time left. I want to get out of this hell even if it means that I have to give in to the game. I want you to be safe...Although you hate me I want you to be one of the ones to make it out. You should make it. Even if I don't get to see you accomplish this myself...</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>I don't wanna be an actress, living by a script</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Who cares about practicing? I don't give a shit</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Shuichi</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>
      <br/>
    </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>I'm so done playing these games. You took Kaito to the hanger. I'm not sure why you did this, but you must be planning something. I'm so done following these rules and trying to be who everyone else wants me to be. I just want to make sure you are ok. You are the one person I want to stay.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>You're over-analyzing every word I say</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>There's a whole world out there, you're living a play</em>
  </b>
</p><p><em><span>Kokichi</span></em> <em><span><br/></span></em><em><span>Everyone here wants me dead. They always think that I only say the things I say because I want them dead. But I never wanted to lie to anyone... I was just trying to lie to myself... I'm always so selfish. I have to get over this. I have to end this.  Not for me. I would never do something like this for a selfish asshole like myself...I am doing this for you. I want you to be happy and for you to make it out of here.</span></em></p><p>
  <em>
    <span>It was getting closer and I took my final breath. This is what I wanted, right? To end this game once and for all.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Fuck your auditorium, I think it's pretty boring and I never signed up for your drama</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Shuichi</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>
      <br/>
    </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>I was running down the hall. The only thing I could think about is what you could be doing. Please say I won't be too late. I think I figured out your plan. You wanted to end this right? And this is the final step.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>You could be dead for all I know.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>But I still keep running.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Running to you.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Up for your drama, up for your drama club</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>I never signed up for your drama</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Up for your drama club (ooh)</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Kokichi</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>
      <br/>
    </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>I could tell this was the end. My plan was not the best one that I could have put together. But I was so done...done living with myself...done having to pretend for everyone else.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>I never signed up for your drama club (ooh)</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>For your drama club</em>
  </b>
</p><p><em><span>Shuichi</span></em> <em><span><br/></span></em><em><span>I ran faster trying to get there. Trying so hard to be able to get to you. I want you to stay with me. I want to say I'm sorry for all the things I said and did. I'm running to be able to tell you all the things I wanted to say. I wanted to tell you how much I care about you. </span></em></p><p>
  <em>
    <span>So I keep running.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Tears falling out of my eyes.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>I never signed up for your drama (ooh)</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Up for your drama, up for your drama club</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Kokichi</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>
      <br/>
    </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>It's so dark. Cold bitter air flowing through my lungs. I don't want this. But I know it has to be done. If I can do something to end this... I will do it... No matter what the cost.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Never signed up for your drama (ooh)</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Up for your drama, up for your drama club for your drama club</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Shuichi</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>
      <br/>
    </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>I burst through the hangar door seeing you under the press... I ran over to you pulling you out into my arms holding onto you as if you could fade away.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Clang</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>The press closed shut from behind you. Tears were falling out of my eyes and onto your hair as I cried. I tried to tell you I was sorry for everything I had done to you, but I couldn't really get it out through all my sobs. You were so cold in my arms. I cried harder holding you close to my chest so glad I made it just in time.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>To see you one last time.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <b>-Here you go! Another Melanie Martinez songfic! I'm not sure if I wrote it well, but I hope you enjoy it anyway even with my inability to write... Thanks for reading!-</b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>-ShuichiOuma010-</em>
  </b>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Baby Soft Skin Turns Into Leather {Angst} [Songfic]</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>
    <em>T/W: Intense themes of depression, bullying, self-hate, and plastic surgery </em>
  </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>If you weren't born with it</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>You can buy a couple ornaments</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>All the stares and all their flares piercing my skin. I wish I could scream and cry for help but I have to keep my mask up. I want someone to see my suffering and help me! Save me from my self-harm and starvation...</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Just be sure to read the warning, kids</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>'Cause pretty soon you'll be bored of it</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I wish I could be like them...they look so happy...they are so happy..." Kokichi stared at the wall wishing for nothing more than to be thin and beautiful. It's painful to always be the one called fat and ugly...and he is sick of it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Sexual, hey girl if you wanna feel sexual</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>You can always call up a professional</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"What if I got surgery...?" He asked the mirror feeling his stomach churn while he looked at himself. He hated the idea of eating...he hated the idea of sleeping. Both of these things made him more exhausted than he has ever felt.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>They stick pins in you like a vegetable</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There are so many adds in the paper. "Get a new body!" "Do you not like the fat you have on your problem areas? Get help fast!" </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Kids forever, kids forever</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Baby soft skin turns into leather</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They all make his brain go to that certain place. Making him feel like it was worthless for him to continue on...unless he was beautiful.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Don't be dramatic it's only some plastic</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>No one will love you if you're unattractive</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>All of the kids at school are the same. Watching all the people that are beautiful. Envious glares for what they can't have...it's all that matters at school. Grades don't make you smart and food doesn't make you healthy...the only thing that matters is beauty.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Oh Mrs. Potato Head tell me</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Is it true that pain is beauty?</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His alarm rang throughout the room reminding him that he had to go to school again. The same thing over and over again. People pushing him around hurting him with cuts and bruises and even cutting his hair...</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Does a new face come with a warranty?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Will a pretty face make it better?</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He hated it...every second people would touch him and push him around. Everyone told him he had to wear a damn smile...his family treating him like shit even though they know he is suffering. He just wished that something would change...because it would be better if he was beautiful...right?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Oh Mr. Potato Head tell me</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>How did you afford her surgery?</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He has been saving up for a while now...and he is close to getting enough money. He just hopes his parents don't find out about the money...they would hate that he kept it from them...</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Do you swear you'll stay forever</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Even if her face don't stay together</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Kokichi! You have to go to school! I'm not driving your ass there again!" His mom screamed from the main floor making him sigh to himself. He knew that he couldn't show any resentment towards her or the treatment would get worse.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Even if her face don't stay together</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He put on his mask and smiled at his mother before walking out the front door. The walk there was lonely and just made his thoughts come back to him again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>If you want a little more confidence</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Potatoes turn to french fries, yeah it's common sense</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He knows that is going to happen when he gets there. They are going to hurt him before class and then beat him up at lunch...because that's what they always did because he is ugly...</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>All you need's a couple more condiments</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>And a hundred thousand dollars for some compliments</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Hey, Kokichi!" He turned to see Shuichi walking up to him. Shuichi was his friend a while back but he lived far away...he didn't expect him to be there with him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Shuichi?!" He gasped turning to him only to be pulled into a hug. He smiled for the first time that day because he was with the one person who cared.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>It's such a waste</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>When little girls grow into their mother's face</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Let's get to class!" Kokichi wanted to ask him why he was there but didn't want to bother him. He was already exhausted from having no food and from having to deal with nightmares all night.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>But little girls are learning how to cut and paste</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>And pucker up their lips until they suffocate</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When they walked into the front doors of the school he felt sick. There were plastics everywhere...the girls who got surgery to be beautiful. The ones the boys would lust after...the ones that were loved.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Kids forever kids forever</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Baby soft skin turns into leather</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Your class is down this hall right?" Shuichi asked grabbing his hand before dragging him down the hall. Kokichi just nodded when they were both outside of the class he was supposed to go to first.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Shuichi and him sat in the back of the classroom while some of the other students came in. None of them even looked back at them...well except for some of them that just gave him glares.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Don't be dramatic it's only some plastic</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>No one will love you if you're unattractive</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He felt his head start to hurt again. He needed to be beautiful and this would all end. His hands moved over his ears as he felt tears coming into his eyes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>No one will ever love me because I look repulsive...I mean why would they? That would be a big mistake...</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Shuichi put a hand on his shoulder making Kokichi raise his head to glance over at him. Shuichi smiled at him and held out his notebook for him. Kokichi was shocked for a moment before he grabbed it and they began passing notes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Oh Mrs. Potato Head tell me</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Is it true that pain is beauty?</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Shuichi,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>So why did you come here in the first place? I thought you were living with your mom?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kokichi,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I came to be with you, we are best friends after all!</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Shuichi,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Thank you? Sorry, I'm a little confused about why you would come all this way for me...</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kokichi,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I care about you a lot and I wanted to be here for you in the flesh.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Does a new face come with a warranty?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Will a pretty face make it better?</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>For the first time in his entire life, the plastics and other students didn't hurt him at lunch. He was able to talk to Shuichi and eat out by the tree. He finally didn't have to eat lunch alone!</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Oh Mr. potato head tell me</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>How did you afford her surgery?</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The rest of the day seemed like a dream to Kokichi. He hasn't had this good of a day in a long time and it made him feel happy? For the first time in a while, he felt like he was really and truly happy.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Do you swear you'll stay forever</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Even if her face don't stay together</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Shuichi never left his side for the whole duration of the day. Kokichi absolutely loved it! He loved just being able to have someone by his side. It made the thoughts he always thought he could never get rid of almost non-existent.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Stay forever, stay forever</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Even if her face don't stay together</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"So you want to stay with me?" Kokichi asked him as they got to his house. Shuichi nodded as Kokichi opened the door. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He could hear faint yelling upstairs. He felt a wave of anxiety come over him as he walked up the stairs. His parents were arguing and yelling...but Shuichi was also in the room with a packed suitcase in front of him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Stay forever, stay forever</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Even if her face don't stay together</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kokichi looked behind him and didn't find Shuichi who he thought was following him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Oh Mrs. Potato Head tell me</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Is it true that pain is beauty?</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Shuichi?" Kokichi asked when he walked into the room. Shuichi immediately ran over to him and pulled him into a hug. Shuichi was crying on his shoulder which made him confused.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Does a new face come with a warranty?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Will a pretty face make it better?</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Didn't he just see him all day at school?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I want you to move in with me," He started grabbing onto Kokichi's hand.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Oh Mr. Potato Head tell me</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>How did you afford her surgery?</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"What-" Kokichi asked only to be cut off by Shuichi.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"You have been getting shit from these people and I did some investigating and they aren't fit to be your parents...so I got permission to have you move in with me," Kokichi couldn't even believe what he was hearing. Shuichi wanted him to move in with him?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Do you swear you'll stay forever</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Even if her face don't stay together</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"If you are here then who was with me at school all day?" Kokichi gasped feeling like the whole day was unreal.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"What do you mean? I have been here talking to your parents for most of the day," He said frowning when he saw Kokichi's surprised expression.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Stay forever, stay forever</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Even if her face don't stay together</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Then...I was hallucinating?" He asked looking down at his hand...he didn't even believe any of this could be real...wasn't this supposed to make him beautiful? All the starving and exercising?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Stay forever, stay forever</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Even if her face don't stay together</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"You haven't been eating well...so I'm sure it could have been one..." Shuichi said putting a hand on his shoulder.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Kokichi before you start feeling bad about any of this you need to know...I know that you have been saving up to get surgery...and I want you to know I will always love you...being plastic won't make them love you...but I already love you Kokichi," </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Stay forever, stay forever</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Even if her face don't stay together</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>These words pierced into Kokichi's heart making him breakdown. Shuichi pulled him into a hug and led him into his room. He started putting his belongings into a bag while Kokichi just sat and cried.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"But why? I'm not beautiful..." Kokichi whispered crying into his hands. He was trying to get the tears to stop...but he has been holding them in way too long...</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"You are beautiful to me," Shuichi said pulling him into another hug.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>.   .   .</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Now Shuichi and Kokichi live together in an apartment. Shuichi has been helping Kokichi be able to learn to love himself. Kokichi still has some trouble eating but Shuichi tries to be able to get him to eat. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Because no matter how ugly or pathetic you may think you are...know that there are people who don't see you that way. Some people know that what really matters is on the inside...because that is what makes you truly beautiful.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Stay forever, stay forever</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Even if her face don't stay together</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>-Sorry for the super dark theme...I have some friends of mine that think that all that matters is being beautiful...but to me, what you do for others and the intentions of your heart are what make you beautiful. Stay safe, and always remember that you are loved! Thank you all so much for reading!!-</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>-ShuichiOuma010-</em>
  </b>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Sick {Fluff}</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Shuichi was walking to the cafeteria with Kaito like he does every morning except this time the one person who will never stop lying constantly,</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Kokichi Ouma</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Was nowhere to be seen. This concerned Shuichi, because Kokichi never missed the opportunity to tease Kaito at any meal.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shuichi tried his best to hide the anxiety that was building up in his chest. He took a deep breath while Kirumi was passing out meals for everyone. While he was still trying to calm himself down, someone bursted through the door. And if you didn't already guess it was Kokichi who bursted through the door... But something was off he wasn't wearing his usual smirk and his mouth was in a tight line. His eyes had bags under them and overall he looked dead...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>People looked at him like he was some stranger, but he didn't even seem to mind. He just walked over to the fridge and pulled out a bottle of panta and walked out of the kitchen before leaving. Shuichi noticed he also grabbed something else... the only problem is he couldn't tell what it was... Concerned Shuichi kept a close eye on the door anxiously waiting for Kokichi to walk in again with his smirk and his childish actions, but he never came...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Breakfast was long over and Shuichi told Kaito and Maki to go on without him. Confused they walked away leaving him by himself at a table in the cafeteria.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shuichi just couldn't get Kokichi’s odd behavior out of his head...</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>What is going on with Kokichi?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He put his head in his arms. Wondering if he should just go and ask him...go to his room and knock on his door. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>After an hour or so of him chastising himself he finally decided that he should go and check on him to resolve all his internal conflict.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The halls were always a mess of nature, and walking you had to be careful to watch your step and make sure you didn't trip. Shuichi's mind was running a million miles a minute as worries and questions came in and made him even more anxious. When he finally got to the door he quickly knocked only to find the door was open...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He ran in the room making sure that this was not the scene of another murder. He found no blood and no body. The only bodies in the room were his and Kokichi's only Kokichi was in a mess on blankets in his bed with a pile of tissues and papers of little sketches scattered around him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He must be sick, Shuichi thought looking down at the boy. He sighed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Why didn't he tell me that he was sick? I know he is </span>
  <em>
    <span>very</span>
  </em>
  <span> independent, but he could have told someone. Shuichi thought, with a small smile on his face. He found Kokichi cute when he didn't have a mask on to try and trick and fool others. It was calming and relaxing to Shuichi to be able to just look at him and be able to just see him without all of his lies.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shuichi left the room shaking his head. Why is he just so cute?! He went to go and get some medicine, a towel, and some warm soup from Kirumi. He went to go and get all of this for Kokichi so he could get better quickly. Because Shuichi knows it just sucks to be sick...Shuichi wanted him to not have to be sick any longer than he had too.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When he found Kirumi she was washing the tables and sweeping the floor in the cafeteria. "Kirumi! Kokichi is sick and I was wondering if I could get some medicine, a towel, and maybe some soup? If that would be possible."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Of course Shuichi." Kirumi said quickly, bringing the items I asked for and placing them into my hands. "Do you need my help?" Kirumi asked, intertwining her fingers and resting her hands on her lap.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No it's alright.. thanks for helping me Kirumi." Shuichi said, turning to leave. "Of course Shuichi. I wish you good luck with Kokichi." She said with a bow.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Shuichi's POV</b>
  <b>
    <br/>
  </b>
  <span>I walked back to Kokichi's room with the supplies. I quickened my pace when I remembered that I had left the door unlocked...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When I got to his room it looked the same as when I left it. I took a sigh of relief and went to Kokichi to feel his forehead, only to find it was burning hot. I pulled my hand away and went to the bathroom to get the cloth wet before gently putting it on his forehead. When I did this his eyes fluttered open and he slowly looked up at me.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Shuichi?" He asked eyes widening for a second before they softened. "Kokichi sorry I came in without permission, but I needed to make sure you were ok" I told him with a blush coming onto my face worried he would tease me about this whole situation..</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh, thank you Shuichi..." he said before closing his eyes again. I smiled at him before remembering I had to give him the medicine Kirumi gave to me. "Kokichi, you need to take some medicine before you can go back to sleep." I said nudging him awake. He groaned before opening his eyes again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Why Shuichi?" He asked annoyed as I measured the medicine into a cup. "Because you need to get better.." I said, putting my hand on his cheek. Holding the cup to his lips. "Ok...only because it's you Shuichi..." He said drinking the medicine. Shortly after taking the medication he fell back into the covers quickly closing his eyes. I got up from the bed to leave his dorm room, only to feel a hand pulling on the back of my shirt. I turned around to see Kokichi looking up at me.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Don't leave Shuichi...stay with me.." He said looking up at me with pleading eyes. I sighed.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>How can you make me so flustered Kokichi...</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>"Of course I will stay with you Kokichi, just let me lock the door first." I said quickly walking over and locking the door before coming back over to the bed. I took off my shoes and jacket before climbing into the bed next to Kokichi.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Right when I slid into the covers next to him he wrapped his arms around me and buried his head into my chest. I smiled at this causing myself to blush. I realized I was tense and tried to get myself to relax. I wrapped my arms around Kokichi and put my head in his hair. I relaxed into his touch and let myself get some much needed sleep next to the one I love.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I love you Shuichi..." Kokichi mumbled in his sleep. I held him closer before responding,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I love you too Kokichi.”</span>
</p><p>
  <b>-two updates in one day! I hope you enjoy this Christmas Eve day! Merry Christmas&lt;3</b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>-ShuichiOuma010-</em>
  </b>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Safe {Angst}</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>
    <em>Themes of Depression and attempted Suicide. This is a warning.</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>Kokichi POV</b>
  <b>
    <br/>
  </b>
  <span>After Gonta's execution, I haven't been able to forgive myself. The one person who was nice to everyone is gone now...all because of me...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Maybe it would have been better if it was me...everybody loved Gonta and nobody gives a shit about a lying bastard like me. I always say that I love this game and love playing it...but that was complete and total bullshit! I hate playing a game where they make you kill others to progress...and a game you are forced to play!</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This whole thing is making my anxiety skyrocket. When I get scared or nervous my lies become bigger and scarier to try and protect myself... This makes a lot of people want to avoid me... I see that now...</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Shuichi Saihara</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He used to be the only one who cared, but then I did what I always do and screwed it all up...</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Pathetic? Look at yourself, Kokichi.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Kaito always has us by his side, see?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>But no one wants to be around you.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>You're alone Kokichi.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>And you always will be.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Even Saihara-chan wants me dead and like he said I'm alone and I always will be. I am such a worthless person even though I talk a big deal about myself... It won't change the fact that I'm a horrible person... </span>
</p><p>
  <span>What I did to Miu...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>What I did to Gonta...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It should have been me...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I'm so done with this game. It's taking everything away from me. I have nothing left… "Well might as well get this over with," I said walking over to the press...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I chose this way to die because then nobody will have to see my horrendous body ever again. I will be nothing but mush. I bet this will make Saihara-chan happy...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I used the electro bomb and pressed the button and positioned myself under the press.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Saihara-chan out of everyone here you're the one I wanted to see make it out of here.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>But now I will never get my wish... </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>.  .  .</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"KOKICHI!!" I heard someone yell, but I couldn't see them because the press covered my line of sight. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Right before it came down on me it stopped...they must have hit the forced stop button...of course when I'm ready to end it all someone has to come and ruin my plans again...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I felt a hand grab my arm and pull me out of the press and onto the ground before they wrapped their arms around me in a hug. I flinched at the contact, scared the person would try and hit me for trying to die...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>.  .  .</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was Saihara-chan?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Why is he here? Out of anyone who came here...he is the one to come and get me out of the press...I should probably apologize for what I said earlier.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Saihara-chan I'm sorry-" I was cut off by him looking at me. His facial expression surprised me. He's crying? But why? It's probably because he is already so anxious and knowing we would have to have another trial...it probably made him even more anxious...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Kokichi don't even start! Why were you in there just now?! Why were you...why were you...trying to kill yourself?!" He said cheeks red with anger and tears streaming down his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Saihara-chan..." I started trying to see what I should say...he was breathing pretty quickly and losing a lot of water from crying so much. Why did it have to be him...couldn't it have been Maki so she would have killed me for trying to kill myself or something...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm sorry you think you have to care about me...and I'm sorry I made you more anxious when you thought someone else was going to die...I should have done it more discreetly...I'm sorry for making you cry Saihara-chan..." I hoped that saying this would put him at ease and I could leave... </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No, that's not it Kokichi!" He yelled before he tried to calm his breathing before speaking again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I need to say sorry for what I said the other day...that was out of line and I shouldn't have said that...also, although another death would make me anxious...If it was you it would have been so much worse..." He said looking down so his hair covered his eyes. I was overly confused by the words he just said to me. It would be worse if I died? Why?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Saihara-chan, don't think you have to apologize...everything you said was right...no one would ever want to be around me...I am alone and I always have and will be...you just said the truth and that was something I needed to hear from you..." I said a tear falling from my eye. He was right though. When this killing game started people would only hang out or talk to me if it benefited them. Not because they liked me...because I'm always going to be alone...all of my lies...my personality...they just aren't acceptable or wanted...by anyone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Before I even realized it he moved his hands to my eyes to wipe my tears off before bringing my head into his chest holding me tight. I could feel he was shaking from all the sobbing. "Kokichi those words I said are not true. They will never be true...because I care about you and you are not alone…you will never be alone." Does he care about me?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Saihara-chan I thought detectives were supposed to be smart...liking and having someone like me close to you will only bring you more problems..." I said looking to the ground. I tried to get up only to be pulled back down into Saihara's arms.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I can't say that I am, but I want to keep you safe Kokichi..." He said into my hair. "But Saihara-chan-" I started only to be cut off again. "This is my decision Kokichi. You can't change my mind." He said holding my head in his hands.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"From now on you are going to stay by my side...because out of anyone here I want you to make it out of here." I tried to look for any hint that he was lying and he wasn't. Before he could say anything else I moved my face towards his and pressed our lips together.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well mister detective, I will most certainly stay by your side," I said with a smile. "Because,"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Whenever I'm with you I feel safe."</span>
</p><p>
  <b>-Another update I am willing to do requests if you guys want something to be written I will be willing to write it for you. If you want someone like me too... I will try my best! Thanks for reading!-</b>
</p><p>
  <b>-ShuichiOuma010-</b>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Safe {Angst} [Alternate Ending]</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>
    <em>There are themes of depression and suicide in this chapter this is a warning.</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>Kokichi POV</b>
  <b>
    <br/>
  </b>
  <span>After Gonta's execution, I haven't been able to forgive myself. The one person who was nice to everyone is gone now...all because of me...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Maybe it would have been better if it was me...everybody loved Gonta and nobody gives a shit about a lying bastard like me. I always say that I love this game and love playing it...but that was complete and total bullshit! I hate playing a game where they make you kill others to progress...and a game you are forced to play!</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This whole thing is making my anxiety skyrocket. When I get scared or nervous my lies become bigger and scarier to try and protect myself... This makes a lot of people want to avoid me... I see that now...</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Shuichi Saihara</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He used to be the only one who cared, but then I did what I always do and screwed it all up...</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Pathetic? Look at yourself, Kokichi.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Kaito always has us by his side, see?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>But no one wants to be around you.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>You're alone Kokichi.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>And you always will be.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Even Saihara-chan wants me dead and like he said I'm alone and I always will be. I am such a worthless person even though I talk a big deal about myself... It won't change the fact that I'm a horrible person... </span>
</p><p>
  <span>What I did to Miu...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>What I did to Gonta...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It should have been me...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I'm so done with this game. It's taking everything away from me. I have nothing left… "Well might as well get this over with," I said walking over to the press...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I chose this way to die because then nobody will have to see my horrendous body ever again. I will be nothing but mush. I bet this will make Saihara-chan happy...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I used the electro bomb and pressed the button and positioned myself under the press.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Saihara-chan out of everyone here you're the one I wanted to see make it out of here.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>But now I will never get my wish... </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>.  .  .</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"KOKICHI!!" I heard someone yell, but I couldn't see them because the press covered my line of sight. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Saihara-chan?" I said before the press closed in on me.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>BANG</b>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Now Saihara-chan can be happy without me...</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <b>Saihara's POV</b>
  <b>
    <br/>
  </b>
  <span>"KOKICHI!!" I screamed as the press went down on his body causing blood to splatter all over my body. I fell to the ground, tears already coming to my eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I didn't make it-" I gasped out choking on my own sobs. The cries and screams kept bursting out of my throat. I can't believe he killed himself... And it was all my fault. I caused him to do this.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Kokichi! Why didn't you tell me?!</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I could have helped you! </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>You could still be here right now!</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>"AHHHHHHHH!!" I screamed once more. My hands pulled on my hair while my knees came into my chest. I collapsed my arms off of my head where they held their death grip to my hair. They fell to hold my knees while I buried my head into knees trying to forget what I saw.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kokichi is dead and there is nothing I can do about it...if only I could have made it in time...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Shuichi!" I heard Kaito yell from the hanger door. I was too consumed in my thoughts to even try to stop crying. I held my knees tighter as he ran over to me.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What happened?!" He yelled at me looking over to the press. I couldn't stop my sobs and thinking about what just happened made them multiply.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kaito kept asking questions like why was I covered in blood? and who was in the press?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I couldn't bring myself to answer them. Not now...not right after I lost the one person I wanted to save.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Kokichi if you can hear me please know I am sorry for not being there for you</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I'm sorry about all of this</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>When my sobs calmed down I looked up at Kaito. I could tell he wanted some answers. "K-Kaito..." I said voice hoarse. "Yeah, Shuichi? Are you alright?" He asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Kokichi...killed himself...and I...wasn't able to get here in time to stop him...so it's my fault that he’s gone..." I said more tears spilling out of my eyes as I looked to the ground.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Shuichi! It is not your fault Kokichi wasn't strong enough to live! You can't blame yourself for that lying bastard’s decisions!" He yelled, grabbing my shoulders trying to get me out of my slump. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Although you say that Kaito... </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I know the truth and the truth is...</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I killed Kokichi.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He is dead because of me...</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>I stood up and wiped my tears off of my face looking back at Kaito. "We might as well tell the others what happened," I said looking towards the hangar door before taking one last glance at the press.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I'm sorry I wasn't good enough Kokichi...</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Kaito and I walked out of the hangar to find anyone before.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Ding Dong Bing Bong</b>
</p><p>
  <b>A body has been discovered!</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Everyone head to the extisal hangar!</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>People then came running in one by one. I couldn't even focus on anything else other than how badly I messed up. "So what happened here?" Maki asked, sounding unconcerned as she always does.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well, Shuichi was here when it happened! Why don't you tell us what you saw?" Kaito said, giving me a supportive pat on the shoulder.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah well, when I walked by the hangar earlier I heard the press wiring and confused why it was running. I walked into the room to see Kokichi under the press...I tried to run to press the forced stop button, but I was too late..." I said looking down the feelings of guilt coming back and making more tears come down my face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"So Kokichi is in the press?" Maki asked. "Yeah, if you look around he is the only one who isn't here," Himiko added with a sigh. "Right, so do we have to have a trial if he killed himself?" Maki asked before Monokuma came into the room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah, we have to have a trial and find out who drove him to commit suicide and then we have our culprit!" When he said this he looked over at me causing me to gulp. "Well let's go to the trial!" He yelled before leaving the room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>We all took slow steps to the trial room. This trial was probably going to be my last...</span>
</p><p>
  <b>.  .  .</b>
</p><p>
  <span>"So here we are to start this trial, any beginning remarks Shuichi?" Monokuma asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well seeing as he was not treated well by really anyone and lied constantly...it seems as though he either had a bad habit or was trying to get people to not like him so he would have no one to lose when he died." When I said those words, questions started shooting through my mind.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Is that why he lied?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Because he knew he was going to die...</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>So he wouldn't have to leave anyone behind...</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>"You are right we are all to blame," Kaito said looking down. "Yeah, we should have treated him better then maybe he would still be here..." Himiko said with a sniffle.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well if you guys are going to keep saying it's all of you then I might just have to execute all of you guys!" Monokuma screamed. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I'm not going to let anyone else die!</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>"Monokuma if I might add he started to isolate after I said my comment after the last class trial. So if anything my comments pushed him more over the edge. So if you are going to punish someone you might as well make it the true culprit..." When I said this I got some sad looks and Kaito looked like he was ready to say something before Monokuma started talking again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well seeing as this trial is wrapped up! Place your votes!!" He said screeching before we all slowly voted. When the results came up it showed that everyone except for one voted for me. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I guess this is it.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I wonder what death brings</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>What comes after we take our final breath </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Kokichi do you know?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>"IT'S PUNISHMENT TIME" Monokuma screamed before I felt myself getting dragged out to my execution.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>.  .  .</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I was surrounded by chairs and podiums. It was like I was the culprit in a trial. There were little monokuma dolls in the chairs and the judge was pointing to a sign that showed how I was going to die.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Then after a few moments of being tormented by their laughter and comments, I was dragged to a pedestal and was tied to a chair with a blindfold on my face before there was a group of monokuma's that all had a gun in their hand and one by one they shot different parts of my body, my legs, my arms, and my shoulders. After all the screams of pain were silent for a moment...before a bullet went through my head and everything went black.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>.  .  .</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>And then I was in someone's arms. I looked up and I was in a room full of light and Kokichi was holding me in his arms.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"Kokichi? What are you doing here? Where are we?" I asked with tears coming to my eyes as I hugged him back. A sigh of relief coming out of my throat. He's here with me. And that's all that matters.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"Saihara-chan~ I'm not sure where we are exactly, but I'm glad you are the one who I get to be with here." He said with a small smile and a giggle."Kokichi I'm so glad I get to see you again. I want to apologize for what I said before and not being there for-" I said getting cut off by his finger on my mouth.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"Don't apologize Saihara-chan! It's just the past, let's not think about it now. Cause right now for once in my life I feel safe."</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I feel safe with you </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <b>-I finished this part for a request given to me by </b>
  <a href="https://www.wattpad.com/user/English_child2004">
    <b>English_child2004</b>
  </a>
  <b> thanks for your request. I hope you liked how I wrote it!- </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>-ShuichiOuma010-</em>
  </b>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Nightmares {Angst}</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>TW There are intense themes of depression and self-loathing you have been warned.</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Kokichi's POV</b>
  <b>
    <br/>
  </b>
  <span>The voices are so loud. Screaming at me.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Liar</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>You should have been killed</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>What are you even here for</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Useless</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Untrustworthy</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Lunatic</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Killer</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>My vision starts to darken. I am useless. This mask I wear is just a lie. I really am just a liar...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I woke up at 2 am. I have gotten no sleep. My eye bags are going to start being noticeable. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Scream</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>I walked to the bathroom where the scream originated from. I walked in slowly, probably overly cautious. We are in a killing game after all. I looked in the shower then moved my eyes towards the door. I see someone in the mirror. I step towards the mirror to see myself looking back at me. He is </span>
  <em>
    <span>smiling at me.</span>
  </em>
  <span> I step back reflexively. My anxiety started to spike. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>This person in the mirror isn’t me.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hi, Kokichi~," He said with the smirk I know so well...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Have you finally got some sense and found out that you are not wanted here!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"NOBODY CARES ABOUT YOU!!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"YOU ARE USELESS NE HE HE..." He faded into the darkness of the mirror only to be replaced by the faces of his classmates. First, it was Kaito and Maki. Then the rest soon followed. They said all the things I have heard before. Lastly, it showed Shuichi. His face pale and his expression bare.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You should have trusted me..." He said before his eyes went dark. I screamed at the sight and punched the mirror causing it to shatter. The pink blood dripped off my hand. My hands pulled at my hair as I screamed as tears streamed down my cheeks. Fat tears flowing down my cheeks. Sobs erupting from my throat. I screamed until my throat felt like blades were cutting into it. I fell to the floor of the bathroom exhausted and sobbed...until the morning announcement came on indicating it was time to get up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well, time to start another day..." I said my voice was scarce and broken from the events of the night before. I got up off the tiled floor of the bathroom and went to change. My clothes from the day before were covered in tear stains and blood from my fist. I took off my clothes and threw some new ones on. I bandaged my hand and arms from the night before. To complete the look (and to hide the cuts) I put a glove on my cut stained hand. I sat down on my bed opening my notebook.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>twelve more cuts added to my arms and twenty-five cuts on my hand from the glass of the mirror.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>I sighed placing the notebook in the fake bottom of the drawer of my bedside table. Pushing myself off the bed I made my way to the cafeteria.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>.  .  .</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I walked into the cafeteria with my usual mask on.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Ne hehe it seems I happened to be the last one to show up~" I announced to my classmates sitting around the cafeteria. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Maybe it's because I was causing trouble, but who knows even I don't remember~" I grabbed a bottle of panta and turned to Shuichi.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Ne hehe see you later Saihara-Chan~," I said before leaving the room in a flourish. When I was away from the noise and useless chatter in the dining hall...I pulled out a blade.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>.  .  .</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Upupu good morning students!!" Monokuma screeched over the intercom. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"We have a new motive seeing as not that much killing has been happening." Monokuma continued.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Since you have been so boring you get some more punishments punks!" Monokid chimed in.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Please don't let it be violent.." Monophine whimpered. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"The new motive is..." Monokuma Paused.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Secret revelation!" Monophine beamed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"We have found a notebook filled with secrets and if no killing happens today by 7 pm then its contents will be revealed!" Monokuma yelled once again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Happy killing punks!!" Monokid added before the intercom shut off.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>n-notebook?! </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>My eyes widened as I heard the announcement.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I only have until 7 till they all find out. </span>
  </em>
  
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>They are all going to know...</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>About everything.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>The abuse I have caused myself.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>The nightmares that just keep getting worse.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>They will all know who I really am.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Then they will definitely kill me...</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span> My breathing quickened as I checked the drawer...and of course, it was empty. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>That was </span>
  <em>
    <span>my</span>
  </em>
  <span> notebook.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They took </span>
  <em>
    <span>my</span>
  </em>
  <span> notebook!</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Everyone</span>
  </em>
  <span> will know!!</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I fell to the floor filled with despair. Tears were already flowing out of my eyes. I decided I didn't have enough energy to put my mask on...so I was going to skip breakfast today. I can't be that much of a big deal I bet no one will notice if I was missing. They all hate me anyway... </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"There is no way to change anything now, just have to bite the bullet and approach them." I took a deep breath and got up off the floor. I wiped my eyes trying to look presentable in some way. I took my shirt off and made some marks on my arm to be able to have some energy to maintain my mask for the day.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Seventeen cuts added to my left arm.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>When I was putting the blade away there was a knock on my door.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Kokichi?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>.  .  .</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Shuichi's POV</b>
  <b>
    <br/>
  </b>
  <span>It has been 7 days since I have been here and Kaede's execution was a while ago... I was still way anxious of another murder happening especially after the new motive... I walked to the cafeteria since it was already an hour into lunch. I was too busy overthinking why Kokichi missed breakfast.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Is the notebook his?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Is the new motive threatening to reveal whatever he put in the notebook?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Stop overthinking this, maybe he just isn't feeling well. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>I looked at the clock again and noticed I was super late to lunch and people were going to start to get suspicious. The hallways are always dark and while walking down them you always have to be careful and watch out for vines, cracks, and roots in the floor from the immense weathering.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I walked into the cafeteria and the white fluorescent lights flashed into my eyes causing me to have to blink while my eyes were adjusting to the sudden change. When my eyes adjusted I saw that Kokichi still wasn't there... </span>
</p><p>
  <span>My anxiety then spiked. I started to ask around the room to see if he was ok. They all said they hadn’t seen him and some even added why they wouldn't care where he was anyway... </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lastly, I asked my colleagues Maki and Kaito and they both said they haven't seen him since yesterday at the nightly announcement. My breathing started to increase.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Kokichi could be dead for who knows how long.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Maybe he got murdered!</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Maybe he has been dead since breakfast and no one went looking for him.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>I left the room to go and find Kokichi. I had to calm my worries and prove that these statements were just false knowledge so I would be able to think clearly. Before I left I saw Kaito and Maki look at me with confused looks. That doesn't matter now I need to see if Kokichi is ok. I know no one has gone looking for him because they all are not very fond of him and would probably be glad if he was no longer around. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It's kind of sad to think of it like that. No one even bothered to go looking for him even though he has been gone for more than 12 hours. I started walking faster as I heard a thump come from the direction of his room. My heart was going a mile a minute. He doesn't deserve to die. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>.  .  .</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I finally got to his room. I was gasping for air because of sprinting down the hallway jumping over vines and such. I hesitated but knocked on the door with a shaking hand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Kokichi?"</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Kokichi's POV</b>
  <b>
    <br/>
  </b>
  <span>I jumped at the sudden noise scared of who could be behind the door. Who would care enough to come knock on his door or even bother coming to look for him? I hesitantly spoke.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Y-yeah who is knocking at the Ultimate Supreme Leaders door at this hour." I tried to cover up my stutter at the beginning. "It's me Shuichi and I was just wondering why you haven't come out of your room at all today." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sh-Shuichi is at the door. I hesitantly walked over to the door and opened it. "I'm surprised my Beloved Saihara-Chan came to check in on me." After I said that his eyes went down to my wrist and I realized I wasn't wearing a shirt to cover all the wounds on my wrist and arms. My eyes widened and I slowly looked up at Shuichi.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I-it's not what it looks like!" I said before slamming the door and running to the bathroom and locking the door shut. I could hear the door open and Saihara calling my name. It sounded like he was about to cry. Is this a prank? He started pounding on the door.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Kokichi I know you're in there please come out *hic* let's talk about this. Please, Kokichi let me in..." I reluctantly walked out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Why do you care? Aren't you and scum like me enemies? I am a leader of a super evil organization and you’re a detective. Isn't that right mister detective~" I said hiding my arms behind my back even though that did nothing seeing as I had scars all over my torso and back. All Saihara did was stare.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Saihara-cha-" I was cut off by Shuichi pulling me into a hug. I jumped a little from the sudden touch and eventually reluctantly hugged him back. I soon felt wet tears fall onto my shoulder. I felt guilty for the words I said before. I could hear small sobs escape his mouth. I rubbed his back to try and comfort him in some way.   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hey, Saihara-Chan I'm ok alright. You don't have to worry about me..." He pulled back suddenly and revealed his tear-stained cheeks from the fat tears falling down them. He looked mad, his face was all red and his nose was running from how much he was crying. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"H-how can you say that?!" He yelled at me as more tears came down his face. "But I'm really doing fi-" He put his hand over my mouth. "Don't even say that! You matter! Maybe not to anyone out there, but you matter to me!" He paused looking away while his face got redder. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Don't talk about yourself like that... " He said, taking his hand off my mouth. "Sorry I lost my composure..." He said, holding his hand over his mouth, his face still red. Baffled, I took a few moments to process what just happened. I stayed silent for a moment and hesitated before speaking.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hey, Saihara-Chan I-" I was cut off by an announcement from none other than monokuma himself. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Heyo ultimates pupupu now seeing how it is 7 pm and no murder has happened I will have to reveal the contents of this notebook," Monokuma yelled giggling uncontrollably after.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It states,</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>So I guess this is happening. Who knew this would happen to someone like me. Anyway, just like before I came here, I am going to keep an account of everything that happens. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Day- 1</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Many people already hate me. I would have expected this since even before only a few people could tolerate me...I have to keep this up. I will end this killing game and I don't want anyone getting attached to scum like me.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>No sleep again, not surprised to be honest.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Fourteen cuts on right thigh </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Fifteen cuts on left thigh</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Day 2-</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I have to keep this up or people will suspect something. Who would want to know the real me anyway?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Everybody wants me dead...can't say I don't want the same thing...</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>One long cut on my back and torso</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Twenty-Three cuts on both arms</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Day 3- </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I can't take it anymore. I wish this would just end! There is only one person here that I would miss and he doesn't even know I'm alive. Anyway, why would he care about me anyway? Who would miss this??</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Flashbacks tormented me all day today and I could barely leave my room.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I should probably start to eat soon.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Forty-Five cuts on torso and back</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Two deep cuts on left wrist</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Day 4- </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Someone tried to kill me today...I'm not that surprised. I lost too much blood yesterday. It caused me to be delusional so I'm skipping today. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>The nightmares occurred again.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Day 5-</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Fifteen cuts on both lower legs.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>running out of wrap. I will have to go steal some more out of the infirmary soon...</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Hallucinations today have made a total of eighteen.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>My eye bags have gotten worse and I will have to apply more makeup to hide them.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Day 6-</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He said I would be alone forever. He is not wrong, but it still hurts like hell!</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He was in the mirror again taunting me torturing me. He must hate me.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Three cuts on the back of my neck.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>The voices are so loud. Screaming at me.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Liar</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>You should have been killed</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>What are you even here for</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Useless</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Untrustworthy</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Lunatic</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Killer</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>The nightmares are getting worse. I find it harder to sleep at night.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I can't even remember the last time I fell asleep...</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>twelve more cuts added to my arms</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>twenty-five cuts on my hand from the glass of the mirror.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Day 7-</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>.  .  .</span>
</p><p>
  <span> "That's all folks, some interesting stuff in here..." Monokuma stated.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"That was so gory..." Monophiane whispered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well you all are probably wondering who this belongs to... and I will let you figure that out. To make this more interesting. Happy killing!!" He said with one final screech as the monitor shut off. Tears were already pouring down my eyes. Shuichi said nothing and pulled me to the bed and held me in his arms.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm sorry for not noticing..." He said, muffled by my hair. "It's alright I should have told you," I said, sobs bursting out of my mouth erupting from my lungs. He started to rub circles into my back and he nuzzled his head into my hair.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I love you Kokichi..." Confused by his words I hesitated then responded with the words I have kept to myself for a long time. "I love you too Saihara-Chan..." He then pulled back and moved his hands to my cheeks. Confused, I looked up at him, he had a small smile with tears falling out of his eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm so glad you're still here." He said before leaning down and putting his lips to mine. He kissed me and I soon melted into the kiss. I never thought this would happen and it's like a dream come true.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>.  .  .</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I nervously was in my empty room when the night time announcement went on. I started to shake and was feeling another hallucination coming... I remembered that Saihara-Chan cared about me and wanted to help. It took me an hour to work up the courage to walk over to his dorm.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>.  .  .</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The hallways are so empty at this time of night. I wonder if people already figured out it was me...</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>sigh</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>I covered my mouth to muffle my screams anytime I heard a noise. I felt more afraid then I have in my entire life and I don't like it. I knocked on Shuichi's door hesitantly. It felt like I was waiting for years instead of seconds. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I was met with a tired-looking Shuichi. His eyes were droopy and he looked like he would fall asleep any second.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hey, Saihara-Chan I was just making sure you were ok. It's not like I was scared or anything." I rambled moving my hands as I spoke. Only to be pulled into his room, feeling the warmth from his embrace.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Shu-Shuichi," I stuttered suddenly embarrassed by the sudden contact.   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Kokichi calm down, I know how your nightmares make it hard for you to sleep. I was actually up waiting for you." He said in a soothing voice. I stayed silent because I was too embarrassed to respond. He probably knew this because after a couple of seconds he pulled me over to his bed and lay down beside me. I was facing him and was grateful it was so dark so he couldn't see my blush. He put his arms around my small frame and rubbed my back causing me to shiver. I felt safe in his embrace and felt myself begin to fall asleep.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>.  .  .</span>
</p><p>
  <b>No one's POV</b>
  <b>
    <br/>
  </b>
  <span>Shuichi was startled awake by Kokichi shaking and sobbing in his sleep. Kokichi moved while he was sleeping and was on the other side of the bed. Tears were pouring out of his eyes and his whole body was shaking violently. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shuichi was immediately concerned about the small boy and pulled Kokichi into his arms. He held him close wanting to do anything in his power to make this stop. Kokichi shook less from the embrace and the sobs soon calmed down. Shuichi combed through his hair with one hand and put the other one around his waist.</span>
</p><p>
  <span> Shuichi was consumed with worry and felt on edge ever since he found out that the boy he cared deeply about tried to end his own life and was causing himself so much pain. A couple of tears fell out of his eyes onto Kokichi's hair. Kokichi started to shuffle around on the bed, slowly waking up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"S-Shuichi..." He said his voice was tired and quiet. He paused and opened his eyes to see Shuichi's tear-stained face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Shuichi what's wrong!" Kokichi said moving his hands to his face and wiping away the tears off his now wet cheeks. "I- I'm so sorry... I wasn't able to be there for you... You were-" He was cut off by his own sobs. Kokichi stayed silent and nuzzled into his chest in an attempt to comfort him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm not going anywhere cause you're here with me." He pulled out of the embrace and pressed his lips to his.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I love you forever."</span>
</p><p>
  <b>-I was inspired to write this cause I have had times in the past where I have had to deal with nightmares wishing someone was there to comfort me. So I took it as a perfect opportunity to write some angst Saiouma.- </b>
</p><p>
  <b>-Thanks for reading!-</b>
</p><p>
  <b>-Stay Safe-</b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>-ShuichiOuma010-</em>
  </b>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Love Hotel {Fluff}</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>"Just kidding did I get ya!" Kokichi announced to the hotel room starting to get off Shuichi. But Saihara quickly grabbed his hand and pulled him back on top of him. Shuichi felt bad for the way he reacted with Kokichi and wanted to show him he cared about him even if this was only just a dream... </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Shu-Shuichi?!" Kokichi questioned stuttering. Confused by the reaction Shuichi only looked at him with an innocent look. Kokichi's face immediately went red. Shuichi put two and two together and wanted to test if he was correct. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He pulled Kokichi into a hug and put his head on his hair and nuzzled into the purple locks while tracing circles on the small boy's back. Kokichi squeaked from the sudden contact and mumbled something into Shuichi's chest. Shuichi blushed, getting all the confirmation he needed. He thought it was super cute how flustered he just made Kokichi and it was more than tempting to see what other reactions he could get Kokichi to make. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shuichi sat up and held Kokichi in his lap with one hand while the other brought Kokichi's face towards his so he could see his expression. Kokichi's face was red and he looked irritated, but he was too flustered to be angry. Shuichi gushed at the sight he thought Kokichi was cute before all of this but that was nothing compared to this... Kokichi turned his head away when Shuichi was caught off guard by his expression. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"How is it possible that you're the only one that can do this to me..." Kokichi said, sounding defeated.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>'He must be being more honest with his reactions today because this is his fantasy.' Shuichi thought. Shuichi still felt bad, maybe even worse because Kokichi must think everyone hates him and he must think that Shuichi hates him and wants him dead like everybody else. Shuichi felt himself moving before he could even process it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He kissed Kokichi’s lips. He couldn't back down now,  he held the back of the little leader's head trying to show Kokichi he truly meant it. Kokichi shortly kissed back smiling into the kiss showing Shuichi that he felt the same way about the taller. They deepened the kiss and were soon fighting for dominance before Kokichi pinned Shuichi to the bed breaking away to catch his breath.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"So you know the truth now. I'm hopelessly in love with an emo detective called Saihara-chan." Kokichi said with his smirk back on his face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"And from what just happened... you feel the same way huh?" He asked before leaning down inches away from Shuichi's lips.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"But I already know the answer to that." He said before kissing Shuichi again before resting his head on his chest wrapping his arms around his back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You don't have to say anything. I bet you're tired because I'm tired and want to sleep in the comfortable arms of my beloved Saihara-chan~" Kokichi nuzzled into his chest and pulled Shuichi's hands to his hips so he could cuddle him. Shuichi took a minute to process what just happened. After he did, he pulled Kokichi closer before pulling the blanket over the two of them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Goodnight Kokichi...I love you." He whispered nervous of saying the last phrase he said, but soon found it was worth it when Kokichi sighed contently and cuddled into his chest before mumbling,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I love you too my beloved Saihara-chan~," He let his eyes close while Shuichi placed a kiss on his forehead, pulling the little leader closer to his chest letting out a content sigh. He soon had a smile on his face, glad that he was able to be here with Kokichi...even if it was just a dream. He took one last look at the boy beneath him before finally letting sleep consume him...</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I love you Kokichi more than you can imagine</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <b>-Another chapter today. I have nothing to do over the break other than this so I will be posting a lot this week…- </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>-ShuichiOuma010-</em>
  </b>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. Talent Swap {Fluff}</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>Shuichi's POV</b>
  <b>
    <br/>
  </b>
  <span>The nights are so hard for me. All the faces of the people we have lost... they all torment me. I haven't gotten good sleep for who knows how long. I look up at the starry sky overhead and sigh. Why is this the way it has to be?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It's probably really late... I should get back to my room... I was about to head back when-</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Crash</b>
</p><p>
  <span>Kokichi came out of nowhere and crashed into me.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Kokichi?!" I yelled while we fell to the ground. His fall was cushioned by my body and I can't say I didn't want to cry out in pain and push him off me right then and there.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Saihara-Chan?" He asked looking up from where he was on my chest. I was about to ask him what the hell he was doing running like he was being chased by some killer, but realized shortly after that, that could be the case.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm sorry for running into you this late at night Saihara-" he started before Monokuma showed up out of nowhere like he always does..</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What the hell are you guys doing up?!" He yelled at us while we slowly got up, Kokichi quickly pulling me to my feet.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well I-" Kokichi started before being interrupted again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I don't care why, but seeing as you should be in the dorms! I am going to give you a special punishment!!" He yelled, pulling out a remote and pushing a button. Before I could say anything I was sent back to the dorm rooms with Kokichi still by my side.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"So what do you think he is going to do to us?" Kokichi asked in a tone where I could tell he was nervous about whatever Monokuma had in store for us...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well I'm not sure...we didn't technically break any of the rules so I highly doubt it would be something super bad..." I said before Kokichi walked up the stairs to his dorm after quietly saying goodnight before closing his door.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Goodnight Kokichi..." I said walking to my own room and entering making sure to close and lock the door.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I wonder what the hell Monokuma was talking about?! Is this just another excuse he is giving himself so he can screw with our lives?! I probably should try to at least get some sleep...best not to worry about this right now...I’ll worry about it tomorrow... </span>
</p><p>
  <span>.  .  .</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I woke up the next morning and it seemed like nothing really changed other than the strange clothes I was wearing...wait, aren't these Kokichi's clothes?! I didn't have any other clothes in my closet to change into so giving up trying to figure this out I walked to the dining hall to meet up with the others.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Shuichi!" Kaito said with a wave giving me a weird look as I walked into the dining hall. I walked over to where he was sitting at the table and dropped into the chair next to him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You look a little off today. Did something happen?" Maki said coming to sit next to me. She is probably talking about the clothes… "No, I have just been thinking..." I said hoping we could get off this topic... knowing that I don't even have an explanation of what is going on.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Alright well! I hope we can have a great day today!!" Kaito said before digging into his food. Seeming as if he didn't want to give this another thought. I felt so off put by this situation and knowing what Monokuma said yesterday I feel a little queasy. I didn't feel like eating but I knew I should try to eat something...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I was cleaning my dishes when Monokuma came into the dining hall.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Heyo Ultimates! I have a special motive for you twerps!!" He said before I felt my eyes close and my world went black.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>.  .  .</span>
</p><p>
  <b>No one’s POV</b>
  <b>
    <br/>
  </b>
  <span>Kokichi and Shuichi both fell to the floor after Monokuma announced the new motive. Both Kokichi and Shuichi were going to switch personalities! He put this in motion to try and see if it would cause anyone to murder and because of this it will stay until a murder takes place.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Are you serious?!" Kaito yelled infuriated by the annoying bear. "Yup! have fun with the new and improved Kokichi Ouma and Shuichi Saihara!!" Monokuma yelled before disappearing abruptly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shuichi and Kokichi woke up moments after. They both looked dumbfounded before they got to their feet and acted like nothing out of the ordinary is happening. Kokichi was in Shuichi's clothes and his hair was unusually straight. While on the other hand Shuichi was wearing Kokichi's clothes and his hair was strangely looking more like Kokichi’s normal hairstyle.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Because their personalities switched they were hanging out with different people than they usually do. Kokichi was having pleasant conversations with Kaito and Maki and Shuichi was hanging out with Gonta and teasing Miu. All of the other students found this odd, but didn't say anything...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"So Kokichi, you really don't remember?" Kaito asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Seeing as you guys have said that me and Shuichi have switched...and knowing the only memories I have is always being around you guys and with Kaede...then I must not remember." Kokichi said, looking down, putting his hand on his mouth.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well that must mean you have Shuichi's memories and Shuichi must have yours..." Maki said under her breath.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well this is odd-" Kokichi said before being interrupted by Shuichi picking him up bridal style. Usually when Kokichi wanted Shuichi's attention he would just grab his hand and drag him away from Kaito and Maki...but seeing as Shuichi is taller he can pick him up and run with him easily.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Shuichi!!-" Kokichi said, trying to get out of his hold.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm going to borrow my beloved Kokichi so see ya!!" He said running off with Kokichi in his arms.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He took his scarf off of his neck and put it around Kokichi's eyes to blind him so he could not see where he was taking him too.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Shuichi! Put me down!!" Kokichi yelled again trying to get out of this situation. But oddly he found he was very comfortable in Shuichi's arms and found himself calming down.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shuichi didn't say anything until he abruptly stopped and placed Kokichi on the ground. Kokichi let out a small gasp as this all took place but quieted down afterwards. "Shuichi? Where did you take me?" Kokichi said, trying to cover up how nervous he was.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Sorry my beloved!" He said before taking the scarf off his eyes before putting it back over his neck. He turned to Kokichi and put his hand on his chin to make him look up at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"So this situation we’re in is pretty weird..." He said getting closer to Kokichi causing Kokichi to blush at how close they were. "Y-yeah." Kokichi said with a stutter.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"And you know.. what else is pretty weird?" He said with a serious expression that caused Kokichi to do a full body shutter. "Wha-" before he could answer Shuichi put his lips on Kokichi's</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Mph!" Kokichi tried to get away before he realized he couldn't and relaxed, noticing that this is what he had wanted. But was so nervous that Shuichi was joking that he wanted to pull away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Moments later they broke apart. Shuichi stood up leaving Kokichi shocked on the ground. "That was pretty fun see you later my beloved Kokichi!" He yelled before retreating to his room with a blush slowly coming to his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What just happened?" Kokichi said unconsciously putting his finger to his lips tracing them slowly.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Why do I feel so nervous all of a sudden?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <b>-I really liked writing this one and found myself sometimes writing the wrong name after dialogue because they have switched personalities.. but overall this was pretty fun to write! Thanks for reading!!-</b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>-ShuichiOuma010-</em>
  </b>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. Alpha!Shuichi Omega!Kokichi {Fluff}</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>Kokichi's POV</b>
  <b>
    <br/>
  </b>
  <span>I'm not sure why I always end up doing this, but how am I supposed to have fun!</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I am being chased by Kaito, a friend of Shuichi's. Shuichi happens to be my alpha and hates when I mess with his friends who are also alphas because I happen to be an omega... </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I really enjoy running from Kaito seeing as, although, he is seemingly in better shape than me and I can still out run him... I find this too fun and entertaining to turn down!</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As I was looping around the last turn to escape into a secret passageway only I know about as I felt my scarf being grabbed. I was pulled off the ground and set down facing Shuichi?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I thought today he had too much work to do and he couldn't pay attention to me...so I had to entertain myself. He looked angry which is a given knowing I deliberately went against his word because he pissed me off!</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Kokichi..." he said in the tone of voice I know to be the "you know what you did don't even try anything" tone. I sighed looking into his mesmerizing golden eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Shuichi. I was so bored without you here! I had to do something to entertain myself!...seeing as you couldn't be with me today..." I said the last part under my breath but seeing his facial expression...I'm pretty sure he heard me.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Kokichi, I don't want to be mad at you, but you know that Kaito can’t control his anger sometimes and I'm afraid you could get hurt." He paused blushing causing a small blush to appear on my face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"And I want to know when I have to go out to work...that you will be safe..." he said looking down and letting his hair cover his eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"So please Kokichi... let me know that you will be safe..." He said quietly before resting his head on my shoulder seeming completely exhausted. I feel like my Saihara-Chan always exhausts himself by worrying about me... it's kind of adorable! I could feel myself blushing thinking about how cute he is. I wrapped my arms around him and started rubbing circles into his back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Saihara-Chan. You worry too much." I said before nuzzling my head into his shoulder.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Kokichi?" He asked, moving his head slightly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah Saihara-Chan?" I asked looking down at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I want to be with you all the time, but I can't because I have to go to work... and being away from you is so hard..." he breathed out onto my shoulder making me shudder at the warmth.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well then Saihara-Chan. Let's go do something just you and me ok? To make you feel better." I could tell this caused him to smile feeling his mouth move on my shoulder. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He planted a kiss on my shoulder cheek and then one last one on my lips before nodding and whispering a simple yes. I grabbed his hand and pulled him into our living room pushing him onto the couch. Before he could say anything I ran and grabbed some blankets and pillows and threw them around him before cuddling into his chest. His arms went around me as we just sat there in a content silence. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I grabbed the remote to the tv and started a movie before throwing the remote to the side and moving more into his touch. I could hear him sigh content with being here with me. I smiled and let his hand move to my hair to pet me. He liked to just come home and cuddle with me and he loves playing with my hair. I really like to pet his hair too but I can't do it that often cause he is always wearing that no good hat...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Kokichi, thank you." He said, causing me to look at him confused.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Why are you thanking me Saihara-Chan?" I said sitting up and resting my head on his shoulder causing him to rest his head on mine. He intertwined our hands together bringing them to his lips to kiss my fingers one by one.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Thank you for being here for me...even though I am really over protective and kind of controlling of what you can and can't do..." he said moving our hands to my cheek.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Thank you for everything Kokichi. I love you so much." He said, looking into my eyes. Throwing me off guard, causing a giant blush to come across my cheeks. "You’re welcome Saihara-Chan." I said pausing for a moment.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"But I should also thank you for putting up with me for this long. I am really childish and rude sometimes...so thank you Saihara-Chan." I said finally feeling his hand move behind my back, pulling me closer into his embrace.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Of course Kokichi. I always love being around you. And I really like how you can be childish but still be serious when you need to be." Saihara said, putting his focus back onto the movie playing on the screen before us.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm so happy that you are my alpha Saihara-Chan." I whispered into his chest. "And I'm overjoyed that I can have an omega like you to be my boyfriend." He whispered back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When the movie finished I was tired from the events of the day so I just let myself lean onto Saihara, eyes slowly sliding closed. I could hear him chuckle before I felt him pick me up and walk me to our room before placing me on the bed. I snuggled into the pillows feeling sleep taking over. Saihara got into the bed behind me and held me in his arms.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Good night Kokichi. I love you." I heard him whisper it into my ear before I lost consciousness.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>-I wanted to write the other alpha omega AU part differently than the last one.. so this is what I came up with. I hope you enjoyed! Thanks for reading!-</b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>-ShuichiOuma010-</em>
  </b>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0019"><h2>19. Alpha!Kokichi Omega!Shuichi {Fluff/Angst}</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>Shuichi's POV</b>
  <b>
    <br/>
  </b>
  <span>They found me again...I was slowly being backed into a wall. I really don't want this to happen. Why did I decide to leave when it's not safe for me outside? I should have listened to what they told me...but now it's soon going to be all over for me.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE YOU BASTARDS!" I turned my head to the sound to see a shadowy figure in the distance. Who is that?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The figure walked closer to the alphas cornering me, throwing some of them away from me. Maybe he is like the rest of them and just wants to claim me. I mean why would anyone save me for any other reason...it would only make sense for someone to save me if it benefited them...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Shuichi!" I heard the voice say. Out of fear I slid down the wall holding my knees to my chest.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Please if your going to do something please do it quickly</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>I heard the other alphas who were cornering me earlier run away quickly. The figure I saw earlier must have scared them off...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Shuichi? Are you ok?" I felt a warm hand on my shoulder. It was smaller than I thought it would be but I was too terrified to say anything. I could feel the hands move around me in a hug. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He is hugging me? Confused, I looked up to see a figure with purple hair and porcelain skin. He looked very small for someone who just scared off 5 alphas, but he did look really cute.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>My trembling hands moved to his back. I think I should thank him because he hasn't hurt me yet...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"T-thank y-you f-f-for what y-you d-did back t-t-there..." I said stuttering from the pure terror pulsing through my veins...relief trying to escape my lips from the safety of his embrace. I could feel tears pricking in my eyes, before I started to cry on the strangers shoulder.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hey, hey it's ok Shuichi. I'm here now, you're safe now." I felt him start to massage my back and I didn't want to admit it but I felt so safe in his arms... I shuddered under his hands loving the calming aura he brings.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I'm safe now</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>It's all going to be ok.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He still whispered calming words into my ears as I calmed down. Tears coming to a stop and breath coming to a slower rhythm.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He pulled back just enough to look into my eyes. His eyes were a beautiful purple color. I have never seen any eyes like his. I was absolutely mesmerized by the purple orbs. I almost didn't hear him when he spoke again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hey, Shuichi? Are you doing ok?" He asked in a gentle voice. I could feel my face becoming hot. I moved my hand to my face to try and cover it, before I replied. "Yes, I'm ok now. Thank you-" I let my voice trail off. I just realized I have never gotten this person's name.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh, sorry I should have told you my name." He said with a small laugh before putting a genuine smile on his face. "My name is Kokichi Ouma." He said, moving his hands to wipe the tears off my eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I really like that name." I said leaning into his touch. I could tell he was still smiling and I couldn't help but smile back. He called my name one more time before picking me up bridal style making my face red once again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Ko-Kokichi?!" I was startled by the sudden movement. "It's alright Shuichi. I'm going to take you home." He said, starting to walk away from the alleyway we were in.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hey, Kokichi?" I was a little scared to ask the question, but his smile made me feel at ease enough to find the courage to ask it. "Yes, Shuichi?" He asked, looking down, slowing his pace. I could see his face change into one of worry and concern.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I was wondering...h-how do you know my name? And...how do you know where I live?" I asked the anxiety coming back that maybe this person was not a good person at all.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh, Sorry for not telling you before...I came over to your house to see you earlier Shuichi...and I ran into your friend Kaede and she told me you hadn't come home from an errand yet. This made me concerned and I came to look for you.” He paused a light blush coming to his pale cheeks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I also know who you are because your parents arranged us to be married when we were younger before they died...so I came to see you..." he said looking away from me with a blush coming to his cheeks looking defeated.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hey, I remember them mentioning you before...but why did you come now? Why didn't you come before?" I asked, trying to not sound so angry. Why did he come now? Why did he leave me alone for so long? I could feel tears falling down my cheeks. I shouldn't be crying. I tried to quickly wipe the tears away before my hand was met by Kokichi's.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It's alright to be mad at me...I should have come sooner. You must have been so lonely...I was a bastard for not realizing that sooner." He said kissing my forehead. "I can leave if you want. I can see if you don't want me anymore...I should have been better for you Shuichi..." He stopped in his tracks looking down at the ground.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Kokichi! Please don't leave me! I was always wishing someone like you would come for me! And now that you're here, I don't want you to go.." I said blushing and looked away from him after I said what I wanted to tell him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Shuichi..." He paused before putting me down and pulling me into a hug. "Thank you." He said petting my hair. "I should be thanking you." I said, bending down to kiss him. I think that he has been teased for being an alpha this small, but I can't get over how cute he is.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I love you Kokichi." I said kissing his cheeks, blushing a darker shade of red trying to avoid eye contact. He took my chin in his hands and looked into my eyes. "I love you so much Shuichi..." he paused to kiss me on the eyes and nose. "More than you could ever imagine..." he said, pulling me into another kiss.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I hope this is how it can stay Kokichi</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Cause I feel so safe with you</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I love you</span>
  </em>
</p><p><b>-Finished my Alpha Omega fan fiction! This was inspired by a beautiful work of art by the lovely and amazing </b><a href="https://www.wattpad.com/user/_SweetLie_"><b>_SweetLie_</b></a> <b>(It is called pallid complexion and it was super good. I have read it at least 25 times in the past month)! Thank you for inspiring me to make this!! </b></p><p>
  <b>-I will also be doing an Alpha!Shuichi Omega!Kokichi. So if you enjoyed this please be patient for the next alpha omega AU!-</b>
</p><p>
  <b>-</b>
  <b>
    <em>ShuichiOuma010-</em>
  </b>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0020"><h2>20. Warm [Christmas Special] {Fluff}</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>Kokichi's POV</b>
  <b>
    <br/>
  </b>
  <span>My hair was soaking wet as I laughed at Kiibo who was laying in the snow. He was still in shock from the snowball me and Rantaro threw at him moments before causing him to fall over into the freezing snow.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kaede walked over to help Kiibo up. I started laughing at the stupid shocked expression that was on his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hey Kokichi, do you know where Shuichi is?" Rantaro asked, looking over his shoulder from his spot next to Gonta.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh, you’re talking about my emo boyfriend riiiighhhhhtttt?" I said holding out the word right just to try and annoy him. He looked at me with an annoyed look before shaking his head and putting on a smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yes, Kokichi I'm talking about him." He said with a sigh.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well poor Saihara-Chan had to work late again and won't be home until late~," I said in a teasing tone trying to cover up my sadness that was coming to my heart knowing I wouldn't be able to see Saihara-Chan until tomorrow...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh? They made him work on Christmas Eve?" Rantaro asked, walking over to me.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah his job is so unforgiving~," I said in the same teasing tone before turning on my heel.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"That reminds me I have to do something. So I must be off! Later Gonta and Rantaro~" I said with a quick wave and a smile before walking off.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>.  .  .</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The walk home wasn't very far, but the fact that Saihara-Chan wasn't here with me just made the weight of knowing that I was alone and would always be alone sink in deeper into my skin making my eyes burn with tears.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They first came in small drops before they soon became a downpour. I quickly wiped my eyes and pulled myself together and walked the rest of the way to the house I share with my beloved Saihara.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I finally got to the front door and walked in before slamming the door and sliding down it finally letting myself fall apart.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I never really liked to be alone. Every time I was alone bad things would happen. All because my mind made me do things that I would not normally do... The quiet was making my head pound and my ears burn. Wishing for the sound of his soft voice to soothe the burning feeling in my head and in my heart.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I sat there for hours it seemed...crying my eyes out until I felt so exhausted and dehydrated from the overwhelming feeling of loneliness coming from the empty house I was in...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I pulled myself up from the door and walked over to the pictures that were on the walls and tables in the living room. I walked past each one of them and remembered the great memories me and Saihara have had together.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When we first met.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When I fell out of that tree.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Our first kiss.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Our first date.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Our first trip together.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When we walked down that road,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When we first bought our house,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When we were hanging out with everyone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>My birthday.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His birthday.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When we were all moved in.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When he told me he would stay by my side,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>No matter what</span>
</p><p>
  <span>.  .  .</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I could feel more tears coming to my eyes looking at all the pictures we have taken. All the precious memories we have made together. I put my hand on the picture of our first kiss. I let it linger on Saihara before I looked over at the clock. It was 2 am and there was no sign that Saihara was coming home to me anytime soon.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I sighed laying down on the couch pulling a black and white checkered blanket over me. I didn't want to go to the room alone. I didn't want to see the room where we always cuddle in without the person who shares that room with me...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I started to close my eyes and a tear fell out before I let the exhaustion consume me and fell asleep.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>.  .  .</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Shuichi's POV </b>
  <b>
    <br/>
  </b>
  <span>I finally got all the work done that was piling up on my desk with the help of Kyoko. I waved goodbye to her before checking the clock.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>4 am...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I didn't mean to have this take me so long... Kokichi must be asleep already..</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I really wanted to try and get home in time to be able to celebrate Christmas Eve with him...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I got into my car turning the key and looking in the passenger's seat wishing Kokichi was here beside me. I loved all the times we drove together. He can always lighten my mood and make me laugh even when I'm having a hard day. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I love everything about him and today I wanted to show him... but again I had to work late and I couldn't get out of it. I should thank Kyoko tomorrow for helping me try and get finished so I could try and leave sooner.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>.  .  .</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Pulling into the driveway I could see the faint light from the tree. With a smile, I walked into the house making sure to lock the door behind me. I walked into the living room looking at all the lights and smiling when I looked at the pictures of the times I’ve had with kokichi scattered across the room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I turned and smiled when I saw kokichi on the couch sleeping peacefully. I walked over and kissed his forehead and was about to pick him up to take him to bed because he looked really exhausted. Hanging out with everyone today must have really taken it out of him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When I moved my hands around him, his arms came around my neck and he pulled me down on the couch so I was on top of him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Kokichi?" I asked, trying to hide the fact that I was a little startled by the sudden motion...I thought he was asleep… </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Saihara-Chan!" He said planting kisses all over my face switching positions with me so that now he was on top of me.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Kokichi what's this all about?" I was confused at the odd occurrence. He usually waited and stayed up until I came back...and fell asleep on the couch. I should have known that he would be awake. He never sleeps well when I’m not here with him... But he also never would just give me affection...unless he wanted something from me.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Saihara-Chan I love you so much." I heard him mumble putting his head into the crane of my neck.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I finally put it together. He must have felt lonely again. This does happen sometimes when I was gone for long periods of time. I found Kokichi's clinginess cute and smiled at him, wrapping my arms around him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm sorry I took so long..." I said petting his hair. He looked up at me before his eyes fluttered closed and he fell on top of me asleep. I tried to get up only to be stopped by Kokichi muttering in his sleep.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Sai...Saihara-Chan...don't leave me...you're so warm and safe... so please.... stay with me." He said cuddling into my chest. I blushed at his words before putting the blanket back on top of us.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I will always stay with you Kokichi," I said, planting a final kiss on his head before letting my eyes close finally falling asleep after a long day.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>-I got done with the Christmas special! I hope you guys all have a very merry Christmas! Know that I appreciate you all! I hope you enjoyed-</b>
  <b>
    <br/>
  </b>
  <b>-And thanks for reading!-</b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>-ShuichiOuma010-</em>
  </b>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0021"><h2>21. Neko!Kokichi {Fluff}</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Shuichi was just getting home from a long day at work. He had to deal with so many complaints and had to file so many past cases because of someone trying to find something in a rush and threw all the organized files everywhere. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was irritated, but thankful his partner Kyoko Kirigiri stayed and helped him organize the files and answer the phone calls that came in with crabby people irritated about how long it was taking some of the other detectives to get back to them with some information regarding their situation. All in all, Shuichi was tired and exhausted and DONE dealing with people.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He walked out to his car only to find it started to rain while he was in the office for 12+ hours. He sighed and rushed into his car and threw his keys in the ignition wanting to just get home and read a book to get his mind off things.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The car ride wasn't long but seeing as he was already frustrated it seemed like forever...on the drive home, many other people cut him off and one guy even honked at him and flipped him off through the window before he cut him off. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shuichi was trying to calm down by playing piano music in his car because it reminded him of his best friend Kaede and how she was always so positive. This is one of the reasons Shuichi looked up to her so much...but since she moved they barely see each other once a month and sometimes not even that. Some weeks Kaede is busy doing performances and practicing that she can barely even manage to call him once a month... </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shuichi didn't blame her for this. He was happy for her. She loved to play the piano and he was happy that she was happy. He loved seeing her smile when she was doing what she loved...but the intense feeling of loneliness didn't go away...it never went away...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He has never really been close to anyone. It's not that he didn't like being around people he just didn't like being close to people. This may be partially because whenever he has gotten close to someone in the past they have always left him in some way. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Not that he feels like Kaede left him or anything...he just wants to feel important to someone...he wants to have them by his side...he wants to be able to talk to someone about his thoughts and have them listen to him. He wishes more than anything to find someone that he clicks with... </span>
</p><p>
  <span>This loneliness is not because he has a lack of friends...he has a lot of people he talks to and goes out occasionally with like Kaito and Maki...but he still feels alone. They always have other things they are invested in and sometimes don't talk to him for weeks...he doesn't blame them...he blames himself...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He hates how he is so lonely even though he has great friends and so many great people surrounding him...he hates how everyone else looks so happy all the time when all he can think about is...are they interested in what I have to say...are they bored with me...are they going to leave like everyone else? He always pushed these thoughts away and tried to ignore them as best he could...but they always came back when he was alone and all he could do is cry silently in his room...alone...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He pulled into his driveway and took his coat off and hung it on the rack and threw his keys on the table. He walked over and collapsed on the couch when he heard scratching at his door..?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Confused he got up and cautiously walked over to the door pulling it open slowly. He peaked out the door to see no one outside. He sighed and turned back to close the door when he heard a soft meow. Shuichi looked down at the mat in front of the door and saw a purple cat sitting on it scratching the door.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The cat was dark purple and it was covered in mud. The cat looked up at him with its purple eyes and meowed again walking towards Shuichi. He picked up the cat confused about how it got to his front door but more concerned about how it was shaking and covered in mud. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He brought it inside and cleaned it off in the open sink. Quickly drying it with a towel afterward. The cat nuzzled into his hand and gave a content meow before Shuichi started petting it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"So why were you out in the rain?" He looked down at the cat only to get a confused head tilt in response.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>You're nice. Not like the last person I ran into.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>"Of course you're a cat. Sorry that was silly of me... I'm Shuichi Saihara and I'm going to take care of you since you don't have a collar and I don't want to leave you in the cold rain outside." He said, pulling the cat into his arms again, going over to the fridge to get it some milk and some of the fish he made for dinner yesterday.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I'm Kokichi, thank you so much.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>"Here you go," Shuichi said, placing the bowl of milk and a plate of cut-up fish on the table before petting him behind the ears, causing Kokichi to meow, licking his hand before heading over to the food. Shuichi got up and grabbed his book off of the nightstand by his chair and opened it up and began to read.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He soon fell asleep on the chair from the existing day he had. Kokichi jumped off the table after finishing the fish and the milk and walked over to Shuichi in the chair. He went into his lap before changing into his human form.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Thank you, Shuichi," Kokichi said before snuggling into him and falling asleep. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>.  .  .</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The next morning Shuichi woke up to a person in his arms. He jumped a bit, waking the Kokichi up in the process. Kokichi groaned, moving closer into his chest. Shuichi blushed looking down at Kokichi. He noticed the boy on top of him had purple hair with cat ears? He also had purple eyes and he was wearing a long checkered seater with shorty shorts underneath them. He looked really cute. This only caused Shuichi's blush to darken. Kokichi looked up at him feeling his temperature increase.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh, you're awake Shuichi. I guess I should introduce myself...I'm Kokichi Ouma! And you saved me Shuichi!" He announced pulling Shuichi into another hug. Shuichi was flustered and confused. Who is this guy? Shuichi thought avoiding eye contact when Kokichi looked at him again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh sorry, you must be confused..." He said getting up looking embarrassed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm a Neko and you said that you were going to take care of me...does that fact that I'm a Neko make you not want me anymore..." Kokichi said flinching like he was going to get hit. Shuichi stood up. Although he had no idea what was happening. He wanted to take care of him and seeing as he is a Neko and cute Shuichi didn't want him to leave.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No, you can stay...I-I want you to stay..." Shuichi said blushing and whispering the last part. Kokichi smiled and walked back over to him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Of course I'll stay with you." Kokichi smiled and hugged him again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They sat on the couch and talked for the rest of the day about who they were and what they have been through. Shuichi finally found the person he was looking for... Although not in the way he thought he would...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He found him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The person who needed him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The person who he is important to.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The person who understands him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He found Kokichi Ouma.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>.  .  .</span>
</p><p>
  <b>-Here you go. I have read so many Neko fanfiction and they are always super cute! I hope you enjoyed this cause I enjoyed writing it. Thanks for reading!-</b>
</p><p>
  <b>-</b>
  <b>
    <em>ShuichiOuma010</em>
  </b>
  <b>-</b>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0022"><h2>22. Touch Starved {Fluff}</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>Kokichi's POV</b>
  <b>
    <br/>
  </b>
  <span>Today was like every other day. Kiibo was being pestered by Miu and I was teasing Miu. Before I got bored...because they still react the same. No matter what I do or say they still act the same. It's so boring. I hate when I get bored. Before I would just call up DICE and we would get together to cause some chaos. But seeing as we are in a killing game and trapped in this school... This is the best it will get I guess. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Right, when I was about to leave the dining hall Shuichi walked in. He wasn't wearing his hat and I walked over to him. </span>
  <em>
    <span>This is going to be fun. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>"Shuichi~," I said, hugging him, making him blush. He usually gets flustered like this but last time he pushed me away I wonder what he will do this time. I held onto him and rubbed his back. He seemed to shudder.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>This is new.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Entertained by the reaction I got I kept doing it and he wrapped his arms around mine. I looked up waiting for him to yell at me or push me away. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Kokichi, there are people here..." He said before whispering.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"We could go somewhere else..." This caused my face to become hot. </span>
  <em>
    <span>This has never happened before... What could be going on with Shuichi?</span>
  </em>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Flustered I grabbed his hand and rushed out of the room and took him down to the A/V room. He seemed confused by my sudden motion. I wanted to see what other kinds of reactions I can make him make...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Kokichi?" He asked as I pushed him on the couch. His blush seemed to deepen by this action. He must think I'm going to do something to him...something </span>
  <em>
    <span>weird.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>I got on him and snuggled into his chest he leaned into my touch and flipped our positions so I was now underneath him. I probably had an embarrassing blush on my face but I kept my confidence and composure. He nuzzled his head into my neck and was leaning into my touch trying to get all the affection he can.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>What?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Then it all clicked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Is my beloved touch starved~?" I asked, grabbing his chin to make him look at me. He didn't look into my eyes and seemed to be trying to avoid making eye contact. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Bullseye! </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>I moved my hands to his back knowing that he liked it and started tracing circles. He gave a content hum and kept getting even closer to me if that's even possible... We were so close there was almost no space in-between us. I was content with this. My beloved Shuichi is touch starved...and I find this absolutely adorable.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Kokichi, I'm sorry if this is weird for you..." He said not raising his head from where it was on my chest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No, it's not weird for me. You are my favorite after all. I would be willing to do this anytime you like Shuichi." I said moving my hands to mess with his hair. I played with his ahoge. It's a weird group of hair that won't stay down with the rest. I flicked it laughing a little when Shuichi flinched. He moved his hand to mine and brought it to his face and nuzzled into it.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>This is so cute.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Why haven't I noticed this before?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>I softly caressed his cheek making him lean into me even more. Although he is taller than me I like being able to be like this. I can reach his hair and play with it and I can move his chin to see his beautiful golden eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I have always loved his eyes. I have never seen any like them before. They always get me distracted from looking into them too long and most of the time this happens it gets cut short due to Shuichi getting nervous from all the eye contact. I also find it cute how nervous and antisocial he can be, while meanwhile in a class trial he can be straight forward and get this unknown courage to make his point heard. I have always found this very entertaining.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Kokichi?" Shuichi said cutting my thoughts short.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah, my beloved?" I wondered why he spoke breaking the silence so randomly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Why do you call me your beloved?" He said, trying to look at me with a blush on his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well, I have always liked you Shuichi. And my beloved just seemed to fit the way I feel about you Shuichi." I answered whispering the last part in his ear causing him to become more nervous, making me laugh a little.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Is that true Kokichi? Or is this just another lie to mess with me?" He asked, making me a little hurt by this. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah, why would I lie to my beloved?" I said putting our foreheads together.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>".  .  ." Shuichi didn't respond, but the blush on his face and the way his hands moved to cover it gave me the answer I wanted. I slowly let my back slide down so I could lay down. Shuichi just tightened his hold and I could tell he was silently begging for more affection which just made me blush.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He wants affection from me and he is too scared to ask... That is just too cute!</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>I answered his silent plea by rubbing his shoulders and slowly moving my hands down his back and back up to his shoulders. Shuichi shivered and shuddered from my touch. I was almost content but then the thoughts came into my head.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Why did he choose you?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Why didn't he go to Kaede or someone else?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He has so many other options.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>So why did he choose the worst one?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>I could feel a frown starting to form on my face from this. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Why did he choose me? </span>
  </em>
  <span>As if he heard my question he mumbled into my chest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I like you too Kokichi..." He said this and I could tell this was relaxing him because he fell asleep on me. I smiled to myself and moved my arms around his back and closed my eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"Good Night my beloved Shuichi"</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <b>-I have a math test today so I hope that it goes alright... Anyway, I shouldn't be complaining. Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed!-</b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>-ShuichiOuma010-</em>
  </b>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0023"><h2>23. I'm Not Good Enough for You {Angst}</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>
    <span>Everyone says this is the way it is</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>
      <br/>
    </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>And we just have to sit and bear it</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>
      <br/>
    </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>But I don't want to just sit around</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>
      <br/>
    </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>While others play with our lives</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>
      <br/>
    </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>Making themselves look like clowns</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>
      <br/>
    </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>Sometimes the weight of it all makes me want to cry</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>
      <br/>
    </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>And this world had made others die</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Darkness is the absence of light</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>
      <br/>
    </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>The world today has no light</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>
      <br/>
    </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>The darkness of others greed and hate</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>
      <br/>
    </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>Consumes all the good things </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>
      <br/>
    </span>
  </em>
  <em></em>
  <span>Leaving us with all this hate</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shuichi I don't know what to say. I wish that this all made some sort of sense. Why did you choose me? I can't be good for you...a lying bastard will change you... Make you into someone that others will only resent. I don't want to have you have to face anything that I have had to do in this life. All the judgment. All the abandonment. All the hate.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I hate the way you look at me. The love in your eyes and the way you hold my hand. I know I shouldn't trust you. I know I shouldn't have gotten close to you. I don't want to end up getting hurt. But I trust you. I love you. I want to be yours and want to call you mine.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I was sitting in our apartment looking at the clock on the wall.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>tick tock</b>
</p><p>
  <b>tick tock</b>
</p><p>
  <span>Minutes turned into hours. I have been waiting for you for so long. You were supposed to be off your shift 2 hours ago. Shuichi, where the hell did you go?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>My anxiety started to rise. You could be hurt. You could be dead. My breathing started to quicken. I can't think like that. My heartbeat was pounding in my ears. I don't know what to do to get rid of this feeling. I couldn't hear the clock anymore, I couldn't hear anything. All I could hear is the thoughts in my head screaming at me.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He left you</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He is never coming back</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He found out who the real you is</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>And now he is going to throw you out </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Just like everyone else does.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>The tears came down one by one.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Drop </b>
</p><p>
  <b>drop</b>
</p><p>
  <b>drop</b>
</p><p>
  <b>drop</b>
</p><p>
  <span>The pain of my cries got louder trying to tune out the sound of the screaming of my thoughts. I cried and cried. Wishing, hoping, praying for him to come back. Wanting the reassuring words to be whispered in my ear. Wishing his arms would wrap around me and make me feel safe. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Safety</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I want so badly to feel safe. I want to feel the safety you bring to me. I want you here beside me. My thoughts were so loud I almost didn't hear my phone going off</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Ring </b>
</p><p>
  <b>Ring </b>
</p><p>
  <b>RING</b>
</p><p>
  <span>Cutting off my thoughts I reached for the phone getting my hopes up. Shuichi is calling me. Only to find the caller ID said Kaito Momota. Kaito, why would he be calling me? Confused, I picked up the phone. My hands shook as I pressed the accept call button.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Kokichi you need to come quick! Shuichi is in the hospital and he needs you!" I heard him yell into the phone. My heart stopped. Shuichi is in the hospital? SHUICHI IS IN THE HOSPITAL?!</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm coming, I'll be there in 5 minutes!" I yelled back at him hanging up not bothering to hear his response. I rushed to the door throwing on a jacket and grabbing my car keys before rushing through the door. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I ran down the stairs and jumped in my car and drove to the hospital tears forming in my eyes. What the hell happened to you Shuichi? My anxieties only increased with the thought of losing him. He could not be here anymore...I won't be able to hear his voice again...I won't be able to see him smile again. Hot tears were coming down my face as I parked my car and rushed into the hospital. Running to the front desk almost screaming at the front desk lady to show me where he was. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She got up quickly and rushed me through the halls. It was a maze of turns before we finally stopped at a door. I rushed in and saw Kaito and Maki sitting in the chairs beside his bed. Kaito jumped a little when he saw me burst through the door with tears burning down my cheeks. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What happened to him?" I asked screaming. I was surprised they could understand me through my sobs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"He was working a job and he got beat up from trying to save a little girl. We are not sure if he will be alright just yet. But I'm sure everything will turn out alright." The nurse said from beside the door but I could barely hear her. In a moment I was by Shuichi's side holding his hand and putting my other hand on his face making sure not to press too hard making sure I wouldn't hurt him. He opened his eyes and looked over at me giving me a small pained smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Shuichi. I'm so glad you're alright." I said sobbing again, trying to cover my eyes only for my hand to be squeezed by Shuichi.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hey, </span>
  <em>
    <span>cough</span>
  </em>
  <span> It's going to be ok. I love you Kokichi." He said before he closed his eyes again and the heart monitor stopped beating. I screamed as they rushed us out of the room not wanting to leave his side.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Please </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Please </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Please</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>PLEASE make him alright</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I don't want to be alone again.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>please do make me have to be alone again.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>I cried and cried as the minutes passed. I couldn't contain the absolute despair I was feeling. Shuichi could be dead and I couldn't do anything to stop it. I felt a hand on my shoulder.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Come on Kokichi we need to stay strong for Shuichi! He wouldn't want you to be sad... He told me before you got here to tell you this. He was trying to get home on time but got held up when he saw a man pulling a little girl into his car. He ran over and tried to save her. He was able to get her to Kyoko before the man came out and beat him half to death. He wanted you to know that he loved you and he knew you would be freaking out right now and he wants you to be happy." Kaito said that and I wiped away my tears and gave him a smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You're right."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>We waited for hours for them to tell us he was stable again. I sat in the chair next to his bed taking his hand in mine.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Thank you, Shuichi. I love you so much." I said before I fell asleep. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>.  .  .</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I probably slept for about 3 hours before I was shaken awake. I looked up and saw Shuichi looking down at me with a smile on his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Sorry for scaring you Kokichi. You didn't deserve that..." He said, caressing my cheek with his hand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"That's where you're wrong Shuichi. You are more than enough for me. I could never be good enough for you. You should just leave me." I could feel tears pricking in the corners of my eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You should be happy with someone else. Someone you deserve. I understand if you don't want to see me anymore..." I said looking away, going to stand up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Only to be pulled back down by Shuichi's hand. He pulled me into a hug.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>You will always be more than enough Kokichi</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>You are everything I could ever want</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I love you</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <b>-I hope you liked this one. It's a little bit of angst for you guys... Sorry It's not very good... Anyway thanks for reading!</b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>-ShuichiOuma010-</em>
  </b>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0024"><h2>24. Music {Angst}</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>Kokichi's POV</b>
  <b>
    <br/>
  </b>
  <span>The words people say are not as important as they may seem. They say some rude comments, some rude remark about something that they label as "different" or "weird" about you. This all doesn't matter. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Most of the people who say these things say them without thinking and will most likely forget it even happened moments after. When in reality it hurt you more than they could ever imagine. People are oblivious of the obvious truth in front of them and they avoid putting the blame on themselves and always try to get out of the guilt and shame that comes with every mistake. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mistakes are made everyday and people say they don't matter...but what if something that happened to you was caused by a mistake that was "no big deal" and it caused you to become someone else...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I have never really been fond of people. They always are either boring or rude and neither of these really appeal to me. Most of the time it just makes me hate them even more. "Why are you always so grim?" "Why don't you look at the bright side?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I mean honestly statements like these just make me feel like punching them. You can't tell me how to live. I think and act the way I do because of what I have been through. So tell me how to live if you have seen life from my side.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Kokichi?" My friend Shuichi asked leaning down to be level with me. I just looked up at him studying his face. Why did you come looking for me? He seemed relieved I'm assuming because he found me because he was looking for me? But who knows if I'm right...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I was looking for you because I wanted to find you to talk about how your day was." He said nervously.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh...why do you want to know?" I asked trying to see what was with him today. How was my day? He never asks that unless we are already in a conversation.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh I just...actually I just wanted to find you so I could hangout with you..." he said looking ashamed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Ahh." So that's why...I thought to myself after letting out a gasp.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"If it's alright with you Kokichi could we just stay here. Cause I don't want Kaito to find me...we got into an argument earlier." He said sitting down against the cement of the wall behind us. I sat down next to him resting my head on his shoulder. I am really tired from not sleeping for the past week but that's my fault...I could feel Shuichi flinch under my touch before he relaxed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"So, what do you want to talk about Shuichi?" I asked trying to put him in a good mood. Kaito has been more hostile recently not exactly sure why...but I would not have wanted to get in an argument with him when he is in this state.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well, I'm not sure..." He said, leaning his head into mine. I rustled my hand in my pocket for my earbuds before pulling them out. I hooked it up to my phone and played some soft piano music before putting it in his ear.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hmm" he just hummed in response. Soft piano music has always had a way of making Shuichi calm. So to make him feel better I'll just stay quiet and let him listen.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>The words people say are not as important as they may seem</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>As I rested my head on his shoulder he whispered something that I could barely hear.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I like you Kokichi..."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I leaned out of his touch to face him. He had a blush on his face probably because he didn't expect me to hear. He put his hand on the side of my face and with a smile he pulled my closer to him making our lips touch. I was shocked at first before I calmed down and kissed back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When we broke apart I just stared at him dumbfounded.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Kokichi I-" I cut him off by pulling him into a hug.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"K-Kokichi?!" He gasped. I stayed silent and waited for him to hug back. His arms shakily moved to my back and pulled me closer to him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I nuzzled my face into his chest and traced patterns on his back. I could tell he was smiling as we just sat there with the music playing and in the comfort of the others' touch.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The music was so calming as I was in his arms. I just wanted to stay like this forever. Never having to talk to others again. Never going to have to listen to the remarks other people make. Just me Shuichi and the music all to ourselves.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I like you too Shuichi" I whispered just loud enough for him to hear. He kissed me on the forehead before bringing me back into his embrace. This is so nice.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Music can say the things we want to say.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>The things we need to say</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>It can take all your worries away.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I love you</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <b>-Done! This is the part I am posting before I have to go to school again.... Thanks for reading!!-</b>
</p><p>
  <b>-ShuichiOuma010-</b>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0025"><h2>25. You're the one I Want {Fluff}</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>Kokichi's POV</b>
  <b>
    <br/>
  </b>
  <span>Walking to school has always been a pain, but I have to go regardless...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Kokichi?" Nagito said from beside me. We usually walked to school together seeing as he was the only one who could tolerate me besides Rantaro...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Sorry Nagito, I was busy thinking about how much of a hell hole school is!!" I yelled with a laugh.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Kokichi, school is hell...so you're not wrong...but I mean I shouldn't be complaining..." Nagito said, looking down and chastising himself. He always does this. I judged him with my elbow.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I don't deserve to complain..." He added silently but I heard it anyway.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Nagito! You shouldn't think so lowly of yourself!" I said, hugging his arm teasingly. Nagito was like my older brother except I don't have one...we have always gotten along fairly well because we are both kinda...well not normal. Which is great because normal people suck. They’re so boring and always have the same damn reactions. Always talking like they know everything and they know exactly what we are thinking when in reality they don't have a fucking clue! Fucking normies...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You shouldn't give such hope to trash like me," Nagito said, giving me the wobbly hard to read smile. I let go of him and looked up at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Nagito you are something else," I said patting his back causing him to laugh because of the height difference. I huffed and walked faster getting ahead of him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Kokichi, wait up!" Nagito yelled from behind me running to catch up with me.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Sorry, Nagito I just like seeing you so distraught!" I said with my signature smirk making him smile. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>We walked into the building like we do every day. We talked about what assignments we had while Nagtio would have some self-deprecating comments every once in a while. He is kind of a handful sometimes...but I still love him like a brother.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I haven't ever had anyone I would consider family because my parents are rarely ever home. So I'm always on my own. I have had to learn over the years how to take care of myself and how to be an independent person. This is why I find it hard to rely on other people. Except for Nagito. He treats me better than everyone else, although I still act like an asshole around him. Something must be wrong with him. Everyone in my school knows me for being a prankster and being, well, an asshole.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Ring</b>
</p><p>
  <span>The bell rang cutting my thoughts short. I looked up at Nagito and he gave me a sympathetic look before he waved goodbye before leaving me in the hallway.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>My first class is in classroom 2A and it's only a short walk from where I am. The teacher Mrs. Monopiane is the English teacher. Although she may come off as sweet, when you make her mad, she might kill you...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Look who it is! Kokichi Ouma the ultimate asshole!!" Miu yelled from the other side of the classroom making some giggles and laughs come from the group of students around her. I scoffed and gave her a glare making her stutter and lose the confidence she had moments before.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well look at the little whore bitchlet! It's a surprise you can even talk at all! Seeing as you're such a big dumbass!" I said making some people groan.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Everyone take your seats we have to finish that paper we started yesterday! And you need to turn it in before the end of the period-" She said, getting cut off by one of the office aides walking into the classroom. They had a boy standing next to him and he looked like he could be my age. Is he a new student here?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh, I remember you mentioning something like this to me this morning..." She said under her breath. Probably annoyed from being interrupted.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well, class we have a new transfer student joining us at Hope's Peak this year!" She announced to the classroom making everyone go silent and turn their focus to the boy in the front. He seemed nervous...seeing as he wore all black and had a hat covering his eyes. I'm thinking he doesn't like talking to people or being the center of attention very much. Now that I mention it, he doesn't even show his face at all. I have no clue what this mystery boy looks like. I tried to imagine what his face could look like.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He has pale hands so he must be pale...and he has blue hair seeing as a little bit of it is poking out from his hat. What color could his eyes be? Maybe blue?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He looked right at me just for a moment. I could feel heat rush to my face. What is this? I put my hands on my cheeks trying to cool them down. Who is that? We kept eye contact for a couple of seconds before he looked away with a similar shade of red to mine. What just happened?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He had golden eyes. They were beautiful. I wanted to look into them again only to find he was looking at the ground again. Making his hat covered his face. And more importantly...his eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well, the only spot that is open for you to sit in is by Kokichi. But before you do that, why don't you introduce yourself?" Monopiane asked him to say something. There was a moment of awkward silence before he spoke up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"My n-name is S-Shuichi S-Saihara...they call me the Y-Ultimate D-Detective..." he said, keeping his head down. I almost didn't hear him because of how quietly he spoke and also because I sat in the back of the classroom...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Alright, welcome Shuichi! You can go and take your seat next to Kokichi in the back." She said directing him in my direction. He walked over slowly and sat down next to me causing the redness to return to my cheeks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>What the hell? Why am I getting flustered? I'm Kokichi Ouma, the Ultimate Supreme Leader! I don't get flustered!</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hi." He said almost silently beside me.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hello," I whispered while Monopiane started talking about the paper again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"So what's this p-paper w-we have to d-do?" He stuttered trying to lift his head only to get more flustered and put his head down on the table. I smiled at how cute he was. Wait! Cute?!</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well, we did some research on a paper yesterday and we have to finish writing our paper on it today...I can help you if you want." I whispered back trying to suppress the blush on my face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah, t-that w-w-would be n-nice...thank you K-Kokichi..." He stuttered again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well, I might not have time in class to help you right now, but we could work on yours after class. If you want to." I whispered looking at his hat where his face would be if he wasn't avoiding my eye contact.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah..." He said again, raising his head a bit. I wanted to grab his face and make him look at me, but I don't want him to hate me like everyone else does.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Ok, here's my phone number. We can meet by the front gates and go to my house to get your paper done. What other classes do you have? Maybe we have more classes together?" I asked. He shoved a paper into my hand giving me a glimpse of his eyes when he raised his head again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh, thanks," I whispered before opening the paper.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I looked at the paper and we had all of our classes together which wasn't that uncommon at this academy...seeing as Hope's Peak is an academy that only accepts ultimate students so, there aren't usually a lot of students that go here compared to a normal public high school.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"We have all our classes together! So, I could catch you up when we meet up after school." I responded, getting a small nod from him. I frowned, not being able to hear his voice makes me sad. But I pushed that thought aside focusing back on my paper.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>.  .  .</span>
</p><p>
  <span>School finally ended. It was super boring, I mean it always is...but anticipating my meeting with the mystery boy </span>
  <em>
    <span>Shuichi Saihara</span>
  </em>
  <span> just made the day feel like forever...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I was waiting for Shuichi to come to the front gate. I was already waiting for about 5 minutes tapping my foot while looking for him through the crowd of students going through the gate. Until finally he stumbled up to me with his hat over his eyes...again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Sorry I took so long..." He said chiding himself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hey, it's alright! Ready to get you all caught up?" I asked, grabbing his hand causing my heartbeat to quicken and my face to become a light shade of pink.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Come on let's go!" I yelled before dragging him to my house.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"A-Alright." He said, sounding nervous. I could feel his hand shaking in mine. He must be scared. I stopped for a moment causing a confused grunt from Shuichi from behind me.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hey, Shuichi. It's alright I'm not going to do anything to you. Ok? Don't worry about it. I know that coming to a new school is stressful, but I will help you be prepared and be able to come to school like you have been here from the start. Ok?" I asked hoping that I somewhat reassured him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Ah! Sorry, I-I d-d-didn't m-mean to m-make you t-think that I w-was s-scared of you! s-s-sorry..." He said, bowing his head down. I smiled at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Don't worry about it. I promise I will help you. That's what friends do, right?" I said worried that he would be offended. I called him my friend. I looked back at him and noticed his hat was higher up on his head so I could see his eyes. I smiled and stared into them. They were so beautiful I found it hard to look away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Ah!" He yelled face going red again and he tried to pull his hat down but this time I caught his hand. He looked up at me surprised, his face getting redder the longer his hand was in mine.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hey, I like to see your face," I said, taking his hat off of his head with my other hand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"And your eyes are really pretty," I said blushing, but this time I didn't try to suppress it. He didn't respond, he just smiled, making me smile back at him. After looking in each other's eyes for a moment I took his hand in mine walking towards my house. I could tell he was nervous without his hat and I don't want to lie, but I found it so cute!</span>
</p><p>
  <span>We got to my house and got all the things we needed to get out to get our homework done and to get Shuichi caught up. We sat next to each other on the couch and talked about homework until his parents texted him that it was time for him to go home.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Kokichi?" Shuichi asked, getting his things into his backpack.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah, Shuichi?" I asked looking back at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Could we do this every day?" He said, looking down, reaching for his hat.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Of course Shuichi!" I smiled, putting his hat on his head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You're the only one I want Shuichi. I would love to do homework with you every day!" I said booping his nose. He blushed again and pulled me into a hug.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"On one condition..." I said, looking him in the eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Y-yeah?" He said looking concerned.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You can't wear your hat when you come over here!" I said pushing his hat up and holding his hands so I could see his eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Alright, I won't." He said looking to the side before he heard his phone go off again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Sorry I have to g-go K-Kokichi." He said pulling me into one final hug before he walked out the door before saying,</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Thanks for being my friend Kokichi."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Of course Shuichi," I said with a smile before I waved before closing the door.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>You're the one I want Shuichi</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <b>-Here you guys go. Sorry for not updating over the weekend that much! Thanks for reading!!-</b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>-ShuichiOuma010-</em>
  </b>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0026"><h2>26. You are the one I Want {Fluff} [Part 2]</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>Kokichi's POV</b>
  <b>
    <br/>
  </b>
  <span>School is the worst thing that I can think of being subjected to 5 days a week for 7 hours. It's like a full-time job. You have 35 hours of school a week plus however long it takes you to do homework after school and a full-time job has 40 hour weeks...this is hell. I work over at a cafe as a waiter and do 20 hour weeks so 55 plus hours are taken out of my week... </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I fucking hate this...I have been going to school for 5 months this year and Shuichi Saihara came into the school about a month ago. We have grown pretty close and I enjoy his company. I talk about him to Nagito a lot. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He says that I have a crush on him, but that couldn't happen because we are just friends...right? He likes Kaede anyway and he hangs out with Kyoko when I'm not by his side. It's best if he likes one of them anyway cause I'm trouble...most of the time anyway... </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I always look forward to after school because I know I get to walk home with my beloved Ultimate detective! Shuichi. I raised my head from where it was in my hands trying to suppress the blush that was coming to my face as I thought about Shuichi...I slouched back into my arms when the blush deepened. I couldn't calm my blush down! My heart was pounding. What the hell is this?!</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Kokichi! Could you please listen to the lesson!" Miss Monomi yelled from the front of the class making everyone turn their attention to me. This happens a lot so all I did is roll my eyes and put my focus on the board. I already know what the lesson is about so this entire thing is making me so BORED!</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hey, Kokichi are you bored right now?" I could hear Nagito whisper to me. In Miss Monomi's class, we sit next to each other. Saihara sits 2 rows in front of me...so boring...I mean it's better than having to sit next to the fucking whore bitchlet Miu! I sighed before turning to Nagito.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yes, how the hell would I not be bored!" I whisper yelled while Miss Monomi was paying no attention to us as she droned on...and on...and on...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You're right I should have known..." He said, looking down, eyes going wide. I frowned.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No Nagito it's not that-" I started to tell him he was wrong, but he cut me off.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I could help you not be bored...want to play ultimate tic tac toe? I'm not the best at it, but I do win every time...maybe it would be better if it wasn't luck-based...what about we play one-word story..." He said before passing his notebook over to me. Before his eyes went wide again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Cause then I can bring you to a greater hope." He said holding his hand over his eye.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Ok..." I said with a sigh and was relieved when his eyes went back to normal.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>We started passing the book back and forth and started constructing a story about hope and Panta. We played for a while while the lecture was going on before the bell rang out.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Ring</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Ring</b>
</p><p>
  <span>All of the people in the classroom left leaving me and Nagito in the back with Shuichi packing his stuff into his bag in the front. He was talking to Kaede and had a smile on his face with a faint blush on his face. I felt my shoulders slump.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Is someone jealous~?" Nagito said from beside me, making my face go red.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No. NO!" I said covering my face with my hands. I'm the ultimate supreme leader. I shouldn't be getting flustered like this! I regained my composure and looked over to Nagito.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Of course not! Why would I, Kokichi Ouma the Ultimate Supreme Leader, get jealous!!" I announced it to him, causing him to laugh confused. I looked back at what he was looking at.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shuichi was standing behind me and was looking at me with a blush on his face before he turned away with a frown. Why is he frowning?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I left Nagito with a wave and went to my and Shuichi's meeting place. I waited there for a moment before I had a wave of anxiety rush over me when he wasn't there when the entire courtyard was empty. Where the hell is he?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I started to walk away when I noticed him walking away from the building in the opposite direction of me. What? I rushed after him after I noticed he wasn't listening to my calls for him to turn around.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Shuichi!" I yelled gasping for air the time I got by his side. He looked away from me and didn't say anything.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hey, what's wrong Shuichi?" I asked, pulling his chin toward me so I could see his eyes. I looked into his golden eyes and noticed they were watery and red. Was he crying?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Shuichi! What happened! Did someone say something to you-" I asked, getting cut off by his hand going over my mouth.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No, I-I just f-found o-out that K-Kaede likes me...s-She c-c-c-confessed e-earlier..." He said tears falling out of his eyes. Why does my heart feel like it was ripped out of my chest?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"She confessed to you?" I asked with a frown.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah, b-but I-I like s-s-someone e-else and I'm p-pretty s-sure t-they d-d-d-don't like m-me back." He said, squeezing his eyes shut.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Who is it?" I asked hoping that I could help him in some way. Just because he doesn't want to be with me doesn't mean that I can't help him. We're friends... Right?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I-It's" He started looking down.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah?" I said trying to get him to continue.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It's...you Kokichi" He said without his stutter making my eyes widen. He likes me? I didn't know tears were coming out of my eyes until I felt Shuichi's hand on my face wiping them away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You like me?" I asked in disbelief. Why would he pick me?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yes, Kokichi...you're the one I want to be with. You're the only one I want to be by my side." He said without stuttering, making me blush. His voice sounds so cute when he doesn't stutter.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I didn't say anything because I was trying to process what he just said. My thoughts were cut off when his hand grabbed my chin and brought my lips to his. My face was inflamed by this action. After the initial shock passed I kissed him back with a smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I'm glad I'm the one you wanted.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>After all this time you chose me.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Thank you</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>My beloved Shuichi</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>-</em>
  </b>
  <b>Here is part two for the last part. I don't remember who asked me to write this, but regardless here you go. Part two of You're the one I want. Thanks for reading!-</b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>-ShuichiOuma010-</em>
  </b>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0027"><h2>27. Jealous Shuichi {Fluff/Angst}</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>I was hanging out with Kiibo and Rantaro talking about the project that was going to be due in the next week. Not that I really cared about the project but I have to get something done so I can pass the stupid class...I would have wanted to study with my beloved Saihara-Chan but he got assigned with Gonta and Kaito. I haven't really seen him at all today which is concerning...we have been dating for a while now and he is usually not that straightforward with how he is feeling. I just hope he and Kaito didn't get into some shitty argument...again...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Kokichi, are you here with us?" Rantaro asked, tapping my shoulder, cutting my thoughts off.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"yeah sorry I was thinking about something but who knows." I said with a teasing tone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"well we already split up the work. So all you have to do is write a paragraph on the research and help Rantaro with the conclusion." Kiibo replied, packing his stuff up and slipping his back onto his shoulders.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Kokichi want to come to my dorm tomorrow to get the conclusion done?" Rantaro asked, putting his backpack over his shoulder, standing up from the table.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"yeah that would be helpful! I will be there! What time?" I asked standing beside him, putting my notebook back onto my backpack.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"cool just come over right after your classes are over. Around like 4? Is that good with you?" He asked, looking down at me.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Alright! See you then Rantaro-Chan~" I said with a wave before walking out of the empty classroom we were using.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"See you later Kokichi." He said before going down the hall away from me.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I pulled out my phone and put in a reminder for my meet up with Rantaro so I wouldn't be late. Because honestly I just want to be done with this stupid project. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Saihara-Chan walking out of the classroom across the hall. I called out after him and he just wanted faster. What the heck is he doing? I was about to run after him until I saw Kaede walking out of the same classroom with Himiko.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Kaede!!" I yelled after her causing both of them to quickly turn around to face me.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Kokichi?" Himiko asked, confused.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Is there something we can do for you Kokichi?" Kaede asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah, I was wondering if you noticed anything off about Saihara-Chan?" I asked, trying not to show how worried I was. Probably not that convincing seeing the sympathetic look Kaede was giving me.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well I thought Kokichi Ouma would have been able to figure it out!" Himiko yelled, causing me to jump.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Himiko, maybe he really doesn't know..." Kaede said, putting a hand on her shoulder to calm her down.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Know what?!" I yelled. It may have came off as angry but I was worried that something was going on with my beloved...and I have no clue what the hell it is!</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well Kokichi, Shuichi has been jealous of you always hanging out with Rantaro and Kiibo more... I would have expected you to notice his mood change." I gasped at this. He has been jealous and I had no idea. He must be blaming himself. Sigh...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Thanks Kaede!" I said before bolting down the hallway towards Saihara-Chan's room. I could hear her yell something after me but I was too preoccupied with going to find my beloved.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When I finally got to his dorm I was breathing hard. It was a pretty long run to his room, but that didn't matter...I knocked on the door only to find it was open. I slowly walked in and soon could hear piano music coming from his room door. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Smiling to myself knowing that this meant he was in his room writing in his notebook trying to explain how he was feeling to himself. I opened his door and saw him sitting on his bed with his blue blanket wrapped around him, a notebook placed on the bed in-front of him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Saihara-Chan..." I asked walking over to him pulling the blanket off of his head and down to his shoulders so I could see his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Kokichi?" He said, looking at me with teary eyes. I hate when he gets sad. I also hate knowing I could have prevented this...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I didn't say anything. I only pulled him into a hug wrapping the blanket tightly around him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Kokichi? Why are you-" he started but I cut him off.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well I heard from Kaede and Himiko that you were jealous of me talking to Rantaro-Chan and Kiiboy." I said putting my hands in his hair and petting it slowly. He likes when I touch his hair like this. I could feel that this made him relax momentarily.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"But Kokichi-" I cut him off again pulling his head into my chest muffling his words.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It's ok Saihara-Chan! I would never leave you for some dumb avocado or some idiot robot. Because I love you Saihara-Chan." I could feel him pull away and I looked down at his face. Tears were spilling down his cheeks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm sorry for acting this way. I just can't help it." I could tell he wanted to say something else, but was too embarrassed to get the words out. His face was already red and puffy from all the crying. All I did was just hold him tightly in my arms.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It's ok to feel that way Saihara-Chan. Want to just spend some time alone right now?" I asked only to feel him hug me tighter and bury his face into my chest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You want me to stay with you?" I asked again. Only to feel him pull me onto his bed. I fell next to him and felt his arms around me. I could feel my shirt getting wet from his tears as he calmed down. I rubbed his back and closed my eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Saihara-Chan I love you." I said finally. Hearing him mumble I love you too before I could feel him relax again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I will stay with you.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Till the end.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>-here is another chapter! I hope you like how it was written. I have wanted to do something like this for a while and will do a Kokichi one later on... I hope you enjoyed!! Thanks for reading!!-</b>
</p><p>
  <b>-ShuichiOuma010-</b>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0028"><h2>28. Jealous Kokichi {Fluff/Angst}</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>Shuichi's POV</b>
  <b>
    <br/>
  </b>
  <span>Kokichi was in my lap as we were watching a movie. I was just petting his hair with one hand and holding his waist with the other. He seemed a little off today, but it may have just been another argument he got in with someone that he didn't win...or something...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>.  .  .</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Ring Ring</b>
</p><p>
  <span>Shuichi got up from the couch making Kokichi have to sit up in the process. Kokichi groaned from the interruption and looked to the floor.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shuichi picked up the phone and Kyoko was on the other line. She was telling him more information on the case that they were given earlier this week. Kyoko was Shuichi's partner in the detective agency. Kokichi was not particularly fond of the relationship between the two...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kokichi has always wondered why Shuichi picked him...out of all the people he could have chosen to love and be with he chose him. He didn't even think he was good enough for Shuichi and knowing that he was spending a lot of time with someone else...this made his anxieties and paranoia skyrocket.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Sorry Kokichi, I have to go to the office. Kyoko got more information on the case." Shuichi said, grabbing his coat and putting his shoes by the door. Kokichi scoffed and looked up at him trying his best not to just break down and cry right then and there.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It's not like he didn't like that Shuichi had a job that he likes. It's more the fact that his partner would probably be a better person for him to date other than himself. He didn't dislike Kyoko either. He just was too paranoid to want to get close to her. Because that would mean she would be over more often and Shuichi would spend even more time than he already does with her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Kokichi, are you going to be alright if I leave...you have been kind of off all day..." Shuichi said, giving a concerned look at Kokichi. Kokichi looked up from the couch with a smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'll be alright Shuichi! Go and do what you got to do!" He said trying to give him the message that he was doing fine. He would have told Shuichi what was going on, but he didn't want to have to be something that gets in the way of his work. Because that would make him more of a nuisance to Shuichi.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Alright... I should be home in a couple of hours." He said sounding concerned but opened the door and gave Kokichi a worried look before he closed the door and left. Kokichi gave him a reassuring smile that faltered right when the door closed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm fine." He said quietly to himself taking the blanket off the couch and wrapped himself in it surrounding himself with Shuichi's scent. He inhaled his scent with a shaky breath before tears started to fall down his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He held himself while he shook in the blanket clenching his fingers around his knees that were brought close to his chest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I- </span>
  <b>hic</b>
  <span> I'm- </span>
  <b>hic</b>
  <span> fine," He said before bursting into tears.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He didn't know how long he cried but he cried so much that he felt himself fall asleep on the couch. All of the thoughts he was trying to avoid and get rid of plagued his thoughts. All he could think of is how Shuichi has lost interest in him. How he isn't good enough. How he shouldn't be with him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He woke up with a gasp and found Shuichi still wasn't there. With a sigh, he got up and looked at the clock.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>In a couple of hours? Yeah right..</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He slowly walked up to the room they shared and tried to go to sleep. Not having Shuichi there with him only made the lonely feeling multiply. He felt himself start to cry again and this time he was so exhausted that after a few minutes of sobbing he fell asleep clinging to Shuichi's pillow.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>.  .  .</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kokichi woke up to be in Shuichi's arms with his face in his chest. He could feel the dried tears on his face silently hoping Shuichi didn't notice. He snuggled closer to Shuichi. Although he wanted to get back at him and scoot away and go on about his day ignoring him...but the warmth and comfort Shuichi brought to him was something he didn't want to give up. Shuichi started to mumble something Kokichi couldn't make out before-</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Ring Ring</b>
</p><p>
  <span>Shuichi woke up with a slight jump before groggily grabbing his phone. It was another call from Kyoko telling him he had to check a report that was brought in this morning. He looked over at the clock and moved his gaze back to Kokichi.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Sorry, Kokichi I-" Shuichi started but Kokich quickly cut him off.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It's alright Shuichi just go..." Kokichi said in a colder tone than usual. He was tired of pretending that this wasn't driving him crazy. He didn't want to be abandoned by Shuichi so he thought that maybe this would make him hate him so maybe it wouldn't hurt so bad.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Sorry, I know I have had to go in a lot this week. I promise I will get home early and we can finish that movie, alright." Shuichi said, pulling Kokichi into a hug before he got up to get changed. Kokichi was trying his best to not yell at Shuichi like he would with anyone else that made him feel this way. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He knew it wasn't Shuichi's fault, his job was just very time-consuming. He didn't blame Shuichi for any of this because he genuinely believed it was his fault for feeling this way. He should just accept what Shuichi has to do for work and not make him worry about him at all.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shuichi left with a brief goodbye before the house was silent again. Kokichi stayed at home drawing trying to not cry the entire time he was gone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>One hour passed and soon it became 3 and then 4. Before he knew it, it was already 3 in the morning. He sat on the couch in the front room glaring at the door. He hated to be lied to...and hated when people didn't keep promises...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He just glared at the door not because he was mad at Shuichi. He was just so anxious and paranoid that he was pushing himself over the edge by worrying.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>.  .  .</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shuichi opened the door quietly to not wake Kokichi who he thought would have gone to sleep by now...only to find him sitting on the couch with a death glare towards him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Kokichi?" Shuichi said a little worried about all the words and behavior he has gotten from him recently. Kokichi didn't say anything as Shuichi walked over and sat next to him on the couch causing Kokichi to get up and turn away from him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Kokichi, what's going on?" Shuichi asked again, waiting for some kind of explanation. He was getting worried that maybe he overlooked Kokichi's behavior.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Why are you late?" He said with venom in his words making Shuichi a little hurt knowing he was mad at him and he wasn't sure why...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well it took longer than I thought to file the report and new reports came in-" Shuichi started.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well why were you late! YOU PROMISED ME!!" Kokichi yelled, trying to tell himself it was ok. After one yell all the tears came pouring down his face, sobs bursting through his throat.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shuichi finally knew what was going on. He rushed over to him and pulled him into a hug. Kokichi's tears got all over his shirt but Shuichi was more concerned with making him feel better. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm sorry Shuichi..." Kokichi said through his sobs, hands going to clench the back of Shuichi's shirt.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Why are you sorry?" Shuichi said, pulling away from him to hold his face in his hands wiping the tears away with his thumbs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm sorry for all of this. I should have told you. You should be disgusted by me. You should-" Shuichi cut him off pulling him into a kiss. Kokichi's eyes widened before he leaned into the embrace.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They stayed there for a moment just holding each other.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You want to finish that movie. I could go get some ice cream if you want some." Shuichi said, setting him on the couch and putting his blue blanket around him. Kokichi smiled and nodded.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They sat on the couch and watched the movie while cuddling. After this happened Shuichi made sure to always make sure he had enough time for Kokichi. He always from then on made sure he put Kokichi first before anything.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>You're the most important</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>-Here is the other Jealous one shot. I have been trying to give more time to my writing and I hope you guys like this! Thanks for reading!-</b>
</p><p>
  <b>-ShuichiOuma010-</b>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0029"><h2>29. My Song to You {Fluff}</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>Kokichi's POV</b>
  <b>
    <br/>
  </b>
  <span>"This song is dedicated to Shuichi Saihara. Shuichi has always been my best friend. He has believed in me even when others didn't. He has helped me become the person I am today. So I dedicate this song to you. My best friend...and now my boyfriend. Thank you Shuichi for helping me get this far!" I shouted into the mic to the crowd of millions of people in the audience.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Thanks for everything Shuichi.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>.  .  .</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <span>"Kokichi! You're going to make us late! We have to be at the Saihara estate 10 minutes ago!!" My mom yelled from the bottom of the stairs. I had to go over to the Saihara estate to play my violin and sing a song I wrote. I don't understand why it's such a big deal because I'm not even that good...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"KOKICHI!!" She yelled banging on my door.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"COMING!!" I yelled back quickly straightening my tie and grabbing my violin case before dashing out the door. I jumped into the car getting a lecture from my mom for being late to my performance for her friends to show how great her son is. Or something like that...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Mom, I get it already, jeez! Just drive!" I yelled from the back seat. She huffed before turning her attention back to the road. The drive wasn't too far...I mean if 15 minutes isn't long...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>We pulled into the driveway of the Saihara estate. It was absolutely enormous! There were what seemed to be 5 or 6 floors and it looked like a 5 star hotel more than a house. My mom jumped out of the car and grabbed my hand dragging me to the front door. Violin in hand I entered the double doors.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Blinding light came from the open door. There were chandeliers and a white grand piano by a giant staircase. I couldn't even suppress my shock. I gasped feeling my mother grab my hand and drag me into a room full of people. I gulped.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Ah! Mrs. Ouma thanks for coming today!" Mrs. Saihara said from the table. She was sitting next to who I guessed was her husband but the only one at the table that had my attention was the boy sitting on the other side of Mrs. Saihara. He looked absolutely beautiful. I tried to stop myself from staring but I just couldn't peel my eyes away from him. His face was mostly hidden by his gorgeous dark blue hair so I couldn't see what color his eyes were, but seeing as who I supposed to be his mother had beautiful golden yellow eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I kept looking at the boy trying to picture his face only to be met with his eyes. He looked at me and I could feel a small blush coming to my face. He is even more amazingly beautiful than I could ever imagine. I was lost in his eyes before I noticed that his face was completely red and he looked back down to the floor.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gapping at the boy that was at this building and is going to see me play. I felt some anxiety build up in my chest. I get to play for him. I have to do my best.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Kokichi are you ready to play?" My mother said whispering from beside me.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah, I guess..." I said trying to keep my cool.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Mrs. Ouma we are so excited to hear from your son!" Mrs. Saihara said, clasping her hands together.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You will not be let down!" She exclaimed, taking a seat at the table next to that boy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I took a deep breath. This is my chance. I can't let my mother down. And I can't let that boy down.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>The way things are</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>May leave scars</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>All these words</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Make us who we are</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>This world may break us down</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>But we still stand brave and proud</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>But this world is so cruel</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>It's holding me back</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>It's holding me back</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>From what I want to be</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>This world is breaking me</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>This world is taking me</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Down</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Down</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Down</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>The words we speak </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Cause us to think</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>All these dangerous thoughts</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>All these scary thoughts</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>We try to keep our heads high</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Holding them up to the sky</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>But this world is so cruel</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>It's holding me back</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>It's holding me back</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>From what I want to be</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>This world is breaking me</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>This world is taking me</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Down</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Down</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Down</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>But this world is cruel</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>This world is cruel</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Don't let me be </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Don't let me be</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>This world breaks us down</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>This world crashes down</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Carrying us </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Down</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Down</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Down</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Don't let this ruin you</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>I finished feeling sweat already coming down my face as I was trying to catch my breath. I looked up and was met with the golden eyes of the boy. He looked so shocked. I hope this was good enough.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It took an awkward 20 seconds before people started clapping and cheering for me. I let out a sigh of relief. This is going to be the last time I have to do this. My mom wanted me to perform one last time before I gave up on this passion. It's not that I want to quit, just I have nowhere to practice and my schoolwork is becoming harder so I don't have as much time.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Thanks for letting us come for his last performance!" My mother announced before patting me on the back before we turned around to leave.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I felt an arm on my shoulder. I turned around to see who it was. It was that boy! He looked nervous like he did earlier when we made eye contact.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hey." He said, trying to look me in the eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hey you're the Saihara's kid right?" I said looking at him tilting my head a bit.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah I'm Shuichi Saihara..." he said, putting his head down.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"That's cool I'm Kokichi Ouma! Nice to meet cha!" I said, putting my hand out for him to shake.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Um Kokichi?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"They said this was going to be your last performance..."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah it is. What about it?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well I.."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You..."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I really liked your performance and I want you to keep playing!" He said, raising his voice causing me to flinch.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Shuichi..." I said with a sad tone. How am I going to tell him I have to quit?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I can't keep playing." I said finally.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Why not?" He said looking into my eyes I could see he was on the verge of tears.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well I don't have anywhere to practice and I don't have enough time because of trying to understand school work... So I have to, I'm sorry Shuichi..." I said, putting my head down.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Wait! You go to Hope's Peak right?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah why do you-"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I go there as well"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh,"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well I would be willing to let you practice in my practice room here and we could study together for school and-"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You don't have to do that for me. I don't want to be a bother."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No it wouldn't be a bother at all! It would actually work really nice to finally have someone to talk to. Nobody really ever wants to be around me because they don’t like me; they only want to be friends with the rich kid."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Shuichi...I would be honored to be your friend! Do you play any instruments?" I said pulling him into a quick hug.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well I used to play the piano but I'd probably be no good anymore." He said looking to the side.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hey don't say that. I could teach you alright!" I said pulling his chin up so he would look at me.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Ok." He said looking at me.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Kokichi we have to go!" My mom yelled by the front door.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well I have to go now. Do you want my phone number so we can keep in touch?" I said, pulling out my phone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Of course! Thank you Kokichi!" He said smiling.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I gave a smile back as we exchanged numbers. Before I left I said goodbye to him walking out the door soon after.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>.  .  .</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <span>I saw Shuichi in the front row of the crowd with a big blush on his face. I smiled at him. It's time to play.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>The way things are</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>May leave scars</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>All these words</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Make us who we are</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>This world may break us down</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>But we still stand brave and proud</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>But this world is so cruel</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>It's holding me back</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>It's holding me back</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>From what I want to be</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>This world is breaking me</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>This world is taking me</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Down</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Down</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Down</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>The words we speak </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Cause us to think</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>All these dangerous thoughts</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>All these scary thoughts</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>We try to keep our heads high</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Holding them up to the sky</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>But this world is so cruel</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>It's holding me back</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>It's holding me back</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>From what I want to be</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>This world is breaking me</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>This world is taking me</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Down</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Down</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Down</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>But this world is cruel</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>This world is cruel</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Don't let me be </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Don't let me be</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>This world breaks us down</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>This world crashes down</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Carrying us </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Down</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Down</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Down</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Don't let this ruin you</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>After my performance Shuichi ran to where I was backstage and tackled me into a hug.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What's this about?" I asked, trying to tease him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well you did great and I just wanted a hug..." he said the last part under his breath but I could tell what he said anyway. I dealt my arms around him and rubbed his shoulders. Knowing I'm a bit shorter than him my face is where his shoulders are and I can barely put my chin on his shoulder but he leaned down so I could rest my head on his shoulder.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Thank you for everything Shuichi." I said pulling back to pull him into a kiss. Feeling him smile I smiled back and gently held the back of his head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I really like how my life has turned out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Thank you for everything Shuichi Saihara.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>-This was probably my favorite one to write by far. I love to think that music is something that empowers a lot of people so writing this fan fiction was a way to broadcast this message. And I thought it was really cute UwU-</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Thanks for reading!!</b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>   -ShuichiOuma010-</em>
  </b>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0030"><h2>30. Aesthetic? {Angst}</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>I used to hate the sand</span>
</p><p>
  <span>now all I want is to be buried in it</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Kokichi's POV</b>
  <b>
    <br/>
  </b>
  <em>
    <span>I used to hate a lot of things. The way people would react to the things I would say. Everything people did just pissed me off and the worst part is I had no idea why...every day was the same, same reactions, same conversations, and same fear. I got so tired of going along with what people wanted me to say. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I teased and lied constantly to try and lie to myself that this situation wasn't that bad, that everyone didn't hate my guts, and that everything would be ok...then I talked to you. We got along just fine if that's what you would call it...I teased you a lot to get one of the reactions that I adore. All the things you did just made me become even more interested in you. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>It got to the point where it was no longer just interest...I became a new person...wanting to be around you all the time. Blushing when you cross my mind and not being able to get you out of my thoughts. I found myself beginning to love you. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Everyone could tell there was something off about me. They could tell you had some kind of effect on me. You drove me crazy. I lied more to try and prove to myself the feelings weren't there and this only caused them to deepen and become even more real.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>I used to hate holding your hand</span>
</p><p>
  <span>but I took my skin for granted</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Shuichi's POV</b>
  <b>
    <br/>
  </b>
  <em>
    <span>When you first asked me to be yours, I was overwhelmed. All the teasing and all the lies made sense. You finally were being honest with me. With a smile I accepted.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>The times we held hands down the halls and the genuine smiles you gave. It made me feel so happy. Being with you was the best thing I could have ever dreamed of. You always act so differently around the others but with me, you seem to be more at ease and you let your true self show. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>No lies. No half-truths. Just you. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I loved the times where we were alone and you told me all your fears and whatever you wanted to talk about. I loved just being with you. Your smile, your hugs, your kisses, your cuddles. Everything you gave me I will hold onto forever. Because you mean so much to me. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>You always made me feel like I was needed like I was wanted. I tried to make you feel the same way you made me feel. I hope I did a good job. I always tried to put you before anything. I was always ready to listen to you when no one else would. I always wanted to be by your side. Holding your hand. Resting my head on yours.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>I love the ocean</span>
</p><p>
  <span>only cause you were there</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Kokichi's POV </b>
  <b>
    <br/>
  </b>
  <em>
    <span>You always try to show me the positive aspects of everything. You are super clingy as well, always wanting to hold my hand, always wanting to give me hugs and kisses. I was against this when we first got together but being with you and seeing the smile on your face made me relish in the feeling of being with you. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I started to love the touch you gave. Every moment with you was something unforgettable. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>The first time you said you loved me. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>The first date we went on. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Every time we go out and you tell me everything you love about me. You made me feel so special. Unlike anyone before...although I still worry constantly about you leaving me because I know I'm not good enough for you. Worried you'll leave me like everyone else but you have always stayed by my side telling me how much you care. It made me feel like I could trust you...and out of everyone, you are the one I trusted the most.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>when you heard of the news</span>
</p><p>
  <span>you weren't even scared</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Shuichi's POV </b>
  <b>
    <br/>
  </b>
  <em>
    <span>When Gonta left you changed. You were always away from me and whenever I tried to ask you what was going on you pushed me away. I cried almost every night begging for someone, anyone, to tell me what I could do to get you back. What I could do to help you...I tried knocking on your door only to get a response of silence. You kept pushing me away when you knew I needed you...and I could tell you needed me too...</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>I wanna scoop out my cheeks</span>
</p><p>
  <span>so you can't pinch them anymore</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Kokichi's POV </b>
  <b>
    <br/>
  </b>
  <em>
    <span>I hated lying to you. You were the last person I wanted to lie to... But I had to keep you safe.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Eventually, I went back to you and broke down in your arms. Tears streaming down my face telling you I was so sorry. I couldn't bear seeing you so miserable because of me. I couldn't bear knowing I was the cause of the tears that came out of your eyes almost every day. I wanted to tell you how much you meant to me. I tried to give you all the love I didn't before. I could barely sleep without you by my side. You gave me the reassurance that everything would be alright. I loved all those nights with you by my side. Whispering soft reassurances in my ear...</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"It's alright"</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"It's alright. I'm right here"</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>You said as you held me close, arms around both of my sides. I loved the nights we were together... I loved the nights we shared together.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>I want to add to my legs</span>
</p><p>
  <span>and be as tall as the morgue</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Shuichi's POV </b>
  <b>
    <br/>
  </b>
  <em>
    <span>I wanted to keep you safe no matter what. I wanted to be the one that you could always count on. The one that could always hold you up. You were so perfect and I was afraid you would become bored with me...I was afraid of you leaving me...I was scared I couldn't hold you up...scared I was too weak to give you the support you needed.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I wish I could have helped you when you needed me. I wish I could have been by your side constantly. I wanted to give you what you gave me. But I always was never good enough for you. I'm sorry that I’m the one who loved you.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>I want the fat in my arms to melt off my bones</span>
</p><p>
  <span>and my stomach to fall out right onto the floorboard</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Kokichi's POV </b>
  <b>
    <br/>
  </b>
  <em>
    <span>I hated how I looked. Always so small. Never strong and tall. I wanted to be someone you looked up to. But I was always what people looked down upon. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I'm sorry for the things I have done to you. I'm sorry for not trusting you. I wish with all my heart that this isn't what I had to do. I wish I could have just been holding you. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Your scent always calmed me down. Your warmth made me feel so safe. But I messed everything up like I always do. I hate myself. Like you should. But you don't and I still have no idea why.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>arms, legs, gut, face, all of the things you love but I hate</span>
</p><p>
  <span>arms, legs, gut, face, all of the things you will never see again</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Shuichi's POV </b>
  <b>
    <br/>
  </b>
  <em>
    <span>You left. You left me. And it's all my fault for not noticing. All the pain you were feeling. Thinking you had to do it all alone. I wish I could have been there for you but now you're gone...</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>arms, legs, gut, face, all of the things you love but I hate</span>
</p><p>
  <span>arms, legs, gut, face, everything you will never see again</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Kokichi's POV </b>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>If it was different I could have stayed with you. If it was different we would still be together. Sorry, Saihara-Chan. I should have been better. I'm sorry you loved me. But I will never regret loving you.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>arms, legs, gut, face, all of the things you love but I hate</span>
</p><p>
  <span>arms, legs, gut, face, everything you will never see again</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I love you Shuichi Saihara</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I miss you so much Kokichi</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>-Done with another part. I really like the song Aesthetic? By panucci's pizza. I really wanted to write one for Saiouma and I got it done finally. I hope you enjoyed!! Thanks for reading!!-</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>-ShuichiOuma010-</em>
  </b>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0031"><h2>31. Time Loop {Fluff/Angst}</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>
    <span>53 times I have had to go back,</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>53 times I have been defeated,</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>53 times I had to hear you say those words.</span>
  </em>
  
</p><p>
  <span>I sighed, waking up in my room again staring up at the ceiling. I slowly got up looking at the monitor that was turned off at the moment. I put my scarf on with my shirt and pants looking in the mirror thinking of ways to hide the bags under my eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I shrugged knowing that no one would care about it anyway. Because they all hate me...I slipped my shoes on and walked over to my door before shooting one last glance at the whiteboard on the side of my room.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Trustworthy?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Saihara-Chan I wish I could tell you. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I wish I could tell you everything.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I let a few tears slip out of my eyes before wiping them violently and had a frown on my face. I took a breath in and let it out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm loved by all! I am the Ultimate Supreme Leader Kokichi Ouma! I don't let anyone mess with me!" I announced to the empty room putting a smirk on my face before I left quickly to go to the dining hall.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The same thing happens every time no matter what I do, I always wake up at the same time. After the fourth trial. After I killed Gonta...the look on his face when he found out what he had done. It was all my fault. I should have died instead, everyone loves Gonta, and they all hate me.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I got to the dining hall before anyone else so I quickly went into the kitchen and grabbed some Panta out of the fridge before running out to make sure no one saw me. They can't see me, I don't want to see their faces after what I have done. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It seems I have done this so many times, and I know what I had to do next, I won't live that much longer. This is where it ends. This is when I will END THIS KILLING GAME! I thought, putting a determined glare on my face going down to the end of the manhole tunnel to wait for everyone else to get here. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They come here a little while after they eat breakfast. All I have to do is wait. I messed with the controller I requested Miu made for me to make this entire plan possible. The bombs and hammers were stored in my room right now. I have to bring them out later so they will be able to find me when this is over. When they find my dead body crushed under the press. I shuddered from remembering this moment. I was all alone, the one person I thought I could trust told me I was always going to be alone...they all hate me...but maybe it's better this way...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I sighed hearing footsteps down the hall. I took a deep breath and gulped down the rest of my Panta and stood up. I have to do this and I want this to be the last time...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"K-Kokichi what are you doing here?" Saihara asked, looking shocked. I gave all of them one of my creepy smiles.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I knew you guys could figure it out!" I yelled out, throwing my arms out for emphasis.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Figure what out-" Kaito yelled but I cut him off.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You guys figured out that I'm the mastermind! I'm the one keeping you trapped here!!" I yelled another obvious lie but they all had shocked faces so they bought it. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Again...</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>"Kokichi is the mastermind?!" Kaito yelled while gasps chorused throughout the room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yup and I knew you guys could figure it out. Especially my beloved ultimate detective Saihara-Chan!" I yelled walking back a few steps before pulling out the remote to control the extisals.  They all gasped when the extisals surrounded me. I tried my best to keep my composure. I hated the look they all gave me. Saihara-Chan looks like I'm the worst thing he has ever seen, he looks at me with disappointment in his eyes. I'm so done with all of this...but I have to do this so they can survive...without me...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I used the remote to make one of the extisals knock out Kaito because he was running towards me to try and kill me...and I needed to do this to fulfill my plan...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I left after taking Kaito to the extisal hanger still hearing Saihara's screams and pleas loud in my head. I shook my head trying not to cry. I can't cry now, I have to do this, to let him be able to survive, I couldn't come up with a better plan...this is all I can do for all of them...I know this will just restart the loop, but I need Saihara-Chan to survive and I know if I do this he will be able to live on...without me.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>.  .  .</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kaito confronted me and tried to apprehend me. This is going to hurt...I thought silently when the first crossbow arrow plunged into my right arm. Maki came into the hangar in an extisal when Kaito and I were fighting. I clenched my teeth trying not to scream. I got up to try and do something only to be shot again in the back. I clenched my fist so hard I thought my skin would split. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I looked up and she had another one aimed for my head threatening to shoot if I didn't tell her my plan. I knew I couldn't so I closed my eyes and Kaito jumped in front of me and took the blow.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When Maki left to get the antidote for Kaito I closed the hanger. I hate all of this...I hate everything I have had to do... </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She passed it in through the window and I went over and stole it from him and "drank" it causing Maki to freak out and finally leave us alone so I could finish the final step of my plan.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Kokichi?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Just drink it Kaito!" I yelled, putting it to his mouth almost forcing him to drink it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"But why?" He asked looking up at me. I groaned from the pain of the poison on the crossbow arrow.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I need you to kill me."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Why would I do that?!" He yelled and I sighed holding my arm.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Because I want to end this killing game. And I need you to help me to do it." I said finally coughing from the effect the poison had on my lungs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After I told him my plan and blackmailed him into helping me he dragged me to the press after taking the crossbow arrows out of my arm and back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I filmed Kaito in the press until it was time.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I walked over and climbed in the press and closed my eyes hearing it startup. I saw Saihara's face right before it all went black.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I opened my eyes to see I was on the top of a building. Confused, I went to go look off the edge. It was pretty high up probably fatal if you fell.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Kokichi?" I heard someone ask from behind me. I turned around and saw Saihara-Chan behind me with tears streaming down his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Saihara-Chan it's funny seeing you here! Sorry for making my beloved have to deal with me after everything that I've done!" I said plastering a smirk on my face before he rushed over to me pulling me into his arms.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Saihara-" I started talking only to be cut off.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Kokichi, you don't have to say anything I already know. I know why you did what you did, I know why you said the things you said, I know why you treated everyone the way you did. I wanted to thank you, Kokichi. I wouldn't have been able to do it without you." He said resting his head on my shoulder.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Saihara-Chan...I'm so sorry," I said, letting my tears fall onto his shoulder.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Kokichi, it's ok. I wanted to ask you something..." He said looking to the side.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah, what is it?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well, Kokichi I was wondering if you meant what you said when we were hanging out. How you stole my heart...well, you did Kokichi? I just wanted to know if it was just another lie..." He said, pulling away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Of course it wasn't a lie, Saihara-Chan. I love you!" I said pulling him into a hug. He hugged me back before he pulled back to capture my lips in his. I smiled and I could feel him smile too.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>In the end, it was all worth it.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Because Saihara-Chan</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I love you</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <b>-I wanted to do a time loop AU. I like to think that after this life I will be able to see everyone that I care about in a place where I could just be us. I just like the idea of being able to have peace after I pass on... anyway here you go. My first Saiouma/Oumasai time loop AU-</b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>-ShuichiOuma010-</em>
  </b>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0032"><h2>32. Waking Up {Fluff/Angst}</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>Shuichi's POV </b>
  <b>
    <br/>
  </b>
  <span>This is it. The time we have to re-enter the world. All the things we've been through. Everyone we have lost. I don't know what is going to be ahead, but we have to keep moving forward. We have to keep pressing on.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I looked up to the crack in the cage that I knew so well. We have been trapped here for what seems like forever. I took a deep breath and looked over at Maki and Himiko who were already walking towards the hole in the wall.  I quickly walked to catch up with them and we stepped through the wall together. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Then it all went black.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When I was wherever I was I saw Kaede in the distance and soon saw all the people who were lost to the killing game flash by my eyes. I tried to call out their names but was only met with silence. Before the darkness became light and I opened my eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>.  .  .</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I woke up and blinked a couple of times adjusting my eyes to the brightness of the room. I was in a hospital. I looked down and saw I was in a bed dressed in a hospital gown. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I gasped and put my hands to my face and soon pulled them down to look at them. I marveled at them as they clenched and unclenched. I'm alive. But where the hell am I? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I turned my head and saw a familiar head of purple hair. Kokichi? What was he doing here? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Ko-Kokichi?" I asked with a trembling voice feeling all the guilt and shame of all the things I said to him. All the things he had to go through. All the things I could have helped him through...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Saihara-Chan?" He asked blinking a couple of times before moving his hands to his eyes to wipe the tiredness off of his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I didn't say anything, feeling tears falling out of my eyes. Without knowing I pulled him into a hug and sobbed into his hair.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm so sorry Kokichi! I should have helped you! I should've-" I yelled, getting cut off by his finger coming over my mouth. I opened my eyes and saw that his head was down before he raised it to look me in the eyes with a small smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh, Saihara-Chan..." He said bringing his hands to my face and wiping my tears away with his thumbs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You don't have to apologize to me. You did what was best for everyone, and I think it's better that you didn't get close to me because you would have ended up getting hurt." He said, closing his eyes for a moment.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"But Kokichi-" I started again only to be shushed by Kokichi.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Saihara-Chan. You don't have to feel bad about what you said to me in the game, because you had every right to react the way you did. I was terrible in the game. I shouldn't have done so many of the things I did, but I did want to tell you this. I was only trying to end the game, that was the only reason I did any of the things I did. I didn't mean to lie to all of you and make you feel like you were being tricked by me, but it was the only way I could achieve my goal without hurting anyone else." He said, putting his head down. Causing me to take his hand in mine and caress the surface of the top of his hand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Kokichi...I had no idea...you had to go through so much...I'm so glad that I was right all along." I said, making his head shoot up and a confused glance to be sent my way.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You were right? About what?" He asked, looking a little shocked by my words.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I knew that you were planning something I just wasn't sure what, but I'm glad that you were trying your hardest to end it. For all of us. Thank you Kokichi." I said, pulling his face towards mine. He smiled with a faint blush coming to his cheeks. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I should be the one thanking you Saihara-Chan." He said nuzzling into my hand causing the blush to darken on my cheeks. We didn't say anything for a moment, we just stared into the eyes of each other smiling knowing that the person we cared about wasn't gone forever.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He looked to the side and I noticed his blush darkened. What is he thinking about? I thought to myself before he restored eye contact with me and crashed his lips onto mine. My eyes widened before I relaxed and kissed him back. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Although I just woke up and we weren't super close towards the end of the game, I'm glad that I got to see him again. I cared about him a lot, but knowing I have never been good at showing others or telling others how I feel about them, I can see why he would be confused.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After we slowly pulled away from each other we just stared at each other. It seemed like forever I was looking into his eyes with a smile on my face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Kokichi I'm so glad I got to see you again. I wanted to tell you something, but never got the chance to." I spoke unconsciously not knowing I said anything till his expression softened.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I love you Kokichi. I loved you before and I love you now. I want to stay by your side and make you feel all the love I can give to you and all the love you deserve." I said pulling him into a hug and nuzzling into his neck letting a blush take over my face content being here with the boy I love.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Saihara-Chan." He said, making me start to raise my head only to be stopped by his hands in my hair.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Thank you...for loving me as I love you." He said in a whisper that was almost too quiet for me to hear. I smiled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Of course Kokichi, I'm glad you feel the same way," I said after a content silence.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I'm glad I got to see you again.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I love you Kokichi.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>.  .  .</span>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>-</em>
  </b>
  <b>I really like the head cannon that they all woke up together after the killing game. I also like the idea of Kokichi being honest with Shuichi about the way he acted in the game.-</b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>-ShuichiOuma010-</em>
  </b>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0033"><h2>33. Cute {Fluff}</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>
    <span>Yawn</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>It's the weekend and the sun came through my window making me flinch at the sudden light exposure before I hid my face in the sheets with a groan.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Ugh!" I groaned knowing I should probably get up and start my day...because I get to hang out with my beloved today! He asked me Friday night if I wanted to come over to his dorm to hangout. I blushed at the thought. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He wanted to hang out with me. He asked me to hang out with him! I shoved my head back into my pillow my blush soon consuming my face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He wants me to come over. What is he planning on doing? What did he just want me to come over so he can kill me?! Wait...Shuichi wouldn't do that...If it was anyone else maybe...but since it's Shuichi I think it's safe to say that he doesn't want to kill me...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I propped myself up on my elbows pondering about why the hell someone like Shuichi would want to hang out with an asshole like me. Maybe he wants to get to know me better? No that's probably not it... </span>
</p><p>
  <span>No one has ever wanted to hang out with me before. I'm always the one dragging them around with me. He must want to talk to me about something. I am pretty suspicious...so he just wants to ask me why I act the way I do? Ugh! Maybe this isn't how I should approach this...he might just want to hang out with me. Although that's probably highly unlikely...It is always a possibility.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I slowly got up a little annoyed. All this thinking made my head hurt. I slowly moved my hand to my head to rub the part that was pounding, before I sighed seeing as that did nothing to soothe the pain... </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I groaned again and walked over to my closet and grabbed out one of the uniforms that were hanging on the hangers. I quickly changed out of my clothes and discarded the ones I was wearing into the hamper in the back of the closet. I walked around my cluttered room and tried to clean it up a bit...because not going to lie, it's kind of a mess...</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>meow</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>While I was organizing my room I heard a quiet noise from the back of my room. Is that a meow? Is there a cat in my room?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Cautious, I walked over to the source of the sound and moved a couple of boxes to reveal that my suspicions were correct. It was a little greyish white cat that had bi-colored eyes. It looked up at me before moving closer to me gently nuzzling its face into my hand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It's so cute!” I said gently, picking it up and holding it close to my chest. I have never had a cat before or any pet for that matter...It's not that I don't like animals, more like I couldn't have them because my parents...weren't the greatest and despised animals. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Although my group DICE and I had a cat that would always roam around and hang out with us at times before it left one time and we never saw it again...I think it might have died from some accident, but they all told me that I shouldn't think like that... </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hey, little guy. How did you get in here?" I asked moving my hand to pet behind its ear causing it to purr in the process.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"RIght you probably can't tell me...anyway, I think for the time being I should give you a name..." I said before pausing and looking into her eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I think Lily would be a great name for you!" I exclaimed causing her to give me a meow in what I assumed to be approval.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After a moment of holding, I realized she probably needs something to eat...so I quietly walked to the dining hall and quickly grabbed a bowl, some milk, and fish that I found in the fridge. I shrugged and quickly brought them back to my room. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>When I got to my dorm room I noticed that my door was open a crack before realizing that Lily could have escaped. Worried I rushed to my door and threw it open. I was surprised by what I saw... Shuichi was holding the cat on my bed and petting it with a cute smile on his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hey Shuichi, What are you doing here?" I asked putting the items I collected from the dining hall on the desk beside my bed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well, I came to see if you were awake so we could get breakfast before we hung out, but then I saw this beautiful cat in here and decided to watch it until you came back.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh..." I said blushing at the fact that he was waiting for me. I slowly walked over and joined him on my bed and moved my hand to pet Lily behind her ear.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You know Kokichi...I wanted to hang out with you because I enjoy spending time with you...so when I came here and didn't find you I freaked out a little...but now that you are here I feel calm." He said with a hum closing his eyes for a brief moment before he opened them again and turned his attention over to me.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh, is that so..." I said the last part under my breath, but the look he gave me told me he wasn’t lying.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Kokichi, I love spending time with you, I know you might not think that because of everyone else...but I do love the moments we have had together. Like this one. You are just so cute I can't help but want to be around you the whole time. I feel at ease around you even when we are in this </span>
  <em>
    <span>killing game." </span>
  </em>
  <span>He said resting his head on my shoulder making me jump slightly at the sudden touch before I relaxed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I like spending time with you to Shuichi," I said before moving my head to rest it on top of his.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I wanted to be around you this entire time...I wanted to tell you how much you mean to me...I wanted to give you hugs and kisses because of how much I crave your touch...I wanted to tease you to get to see some of the cute faces you can make. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I like everything about you. I love everything about you. You are just so cute Shuichi.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>.  .  .</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Kokichi could we do this more often." He said looking down at Lily while he rested his hand on her head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Of course we can..." I said pausing before raising my head for a moment.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Anything for you my beloved," I said, placing a kiss on his forehead before I returned my head to the place it was nuzzled into his hair.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Thank you Kokichi." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>.  .  .</span>
</p><p>
  <b>-I like the idea of them having a cat and hanging out together to be able to play with the cat. And from the cat bringing them together, they become close and realize how much they care about each other. Thanks for reading!-</b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>-ShuichiOuma010-</em>
  </b>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0034"><h2>34. Post Game {Fluff/Angst}</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>It's been years since the incident. Years since the class of the 53rd season of danganronpa had woken up. Shuichi was struck with an overwhelming feeling of happiness when he saw all of his friends. All the people that had died right before his eyes…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He looked over at Kokichi and gave him a warm smile only to be met with a sad smile. They started to talk to each other and all the others knew about Kokichi's real intentions. When Shuichi heard this he felt overwhelmed with guilt. Shame and guilt clouded his thoughts, all the things he did, all the things he said, the way he treated him. He was overwhelmed with the guilt of all the mistakes he made. It's not like he wanted to hurt Kokichi, no, he actually liked him, a lot... </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Over the next few months after the incident Kokichi and Shuichi started to get closer to each other. Shuichi wanted to get to know him better partially because of his guilt and also because of his interest in him. He found Kokichi very interesting. The boy was a mystery to him. When was he lying? When was he telling the truth? Shuichi was intrigued by this and wanted to figure the mystery boy Kokichi Ouma out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kokichi on the other hand loved having Shuichi around him, being a person who doesn't have many people that are close to him, it got lonely...he wanted to trust Shuichi in the game but...he never got around to it because he was always with Kaito. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>When Kokichi saw them together he envied Kaito for being able to be around some as amazing as his beloved Shuichi all the time. He tried to avoid him to try and get the feeling to go away...the feeling of longing, the feeling of wanting. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He wanted to be able to tell someone what he was trying to do, but he couldn't because the mastermind would have figured him out. He hated when Shuichi said he would be alone, although he already believed it was true having it come from his crush made it so much more painful. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kokichi and Shuichi got closer to each other as the months passed. The whole group still had to go to rehab to try to lessen the trauma from the </span>
  <em>
    <span>killing game</span>
  </em>
  <span> and it was a way to have them talk to each other to try and get rid of some tension between some of the classmates. They all went to Hope's Peak before the game and went back into all their classes after the month out of school after the incident. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>After school Kokichi and Shuichi would always hangout and talk after school. Shuichi found it very enjoyable to talk to Kokichi when he doesn't wear the mask he always puts on in front of the others. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kokichi absolutely loved being able to open up to open up to someone and to finally be able to have someone who listened to him. They always would get all their homework done while they talked and would help each other if they needed help with something. They became inseparable.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>While they were cuddling on the couch because Kokichi had a hard day and Shuichi knew that he was touch starved so he brought him to the couch in their dorm room and snuggled with him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Kokichi so you want to talk about it?" Shuichi asked, moving his hand to his hair to gently comb through it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah...Shuichi?" He asked, turning his head to look him in the eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yes Kokichi?" He said cupping the side of his face with his hand and wiping tears away with his thumb.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I just don't like how people talk about me...I don't try to be like this. I don't mean to lie all the time. I don't mean to hurt them-" He said sobs cutting off his words. Shuichi gave a sad smile and pulled him over into his lap and rubbed his shoulders.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Kokichi, I wish you didn't have to feel this way, but I know what you mean...a lot of people judge me for being around you all the time, but if it makes me happy then screw what they say!" Shuichi said, moving his arms to make his words more dramatic causing Kokichi to giggle.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"If you want to be the way you are, if that makes you feel comfortable, then just know I support you all the way Kokichi." He whispered into his ear causing a small shudder from Kokichi.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Thank you." Kokichi said, embarrassed of the blush coming to his face. Shuichi smiled at how cute he was being. Shuichi knew that he didn't think of Kokichi as just a friend. He never really did; he always thought they could be something more. These thoughts caused him to get flustered and he moved his hands to cover his eyes making Kokichi confused.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Shuichi, what were you thinking just now?" He asked in a teasing tone sliding his finger slowly down his chest making his blush get worse. Kokichi gave a smirk at his achievement and moved his hands to take Shuichi's hands away from his face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>This revealed a very flustered Shuichi that looked away immediately not wanting to make eye contact. He wasn't ready to tell Kokichi how he felt. He probably never would be comfortable with this, because of the fear of getting teased by Kokichi for his feelings.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I-I" Shuichi stuttered out making Kokichi make a serious face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Are you ok?" He asked genuinely concerned that he sacred him by his question earlier.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Y-Yeah just I" He started trying to gain the courage to tell him. He wanted to tell him, he wanted to be able to do something like this with him all the time, he wanted to be able to hold his hand, he wanted to kiss him...so without thinking Shuichi smashed his lips onto Kokichi's.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kokichi's eyes widened and his face flushed before he kissed back, not wanting Shuichi to think he didn't feel the same. They stayed like that for a moment before they broke away. Shuichi looked at Kokichi silently pleading that he would understand why he did that, so he wouldn't have to explain...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I love you too Shuichi." He said before hugging Shuichi with a content sigh. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>.  .  .</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Years later they are now in college. Shuichi and Kokichi share their own apartment and have been dating happily for many years and they are so happy together. Kaito and Maki have found out a way to deal with Kokichi's childishness and accept this relationship because they see how happy he makes Shuichi.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Everyday Kokichi is so grateful for the life he has been given all because of Shuichi Saihara...and Shuichi is grateful for being able to be like this with his beloved Kokichi.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Shuichi?" Kokichi asked from his spot on Shuichi's lap.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah Kokichi?" Shuichi said looking down at Kokichi.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I love you." Kokichi said a light blush dusting his cheeks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I love you too." Shuichi said with a smile and a small blush coming onto his cheeks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I really mean it. You make me so happy. No one has ever made me feel important to them and you treat me like I'm the only thing that matters." Kokichi said with the blush on his cheeks deepening.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Kokichi..." Shuichi said quietly wondering what brought this on.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"So thank you so much Shuichi. I love you more than you could ever imagine." Kokichi said with a genuine smile that Shuichi doesn't see that often, but he loves when Kokichi shows him that he is genuinely happy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I don't know what to say." Shuichi said gently, moving his hand to caress Kokichi's face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"But you are so cute Kokichi." He said under his breath as his fingers slowly moved over his eye lids, then his warm cheeks, and lastly he stopped on his lips.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I wanna stay with you forever." Shuichi said gently, lifting Kokichi's head so he could kiss him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Me too my Shumai." Kokichi said slowly, breaking the kiss and putting his head into the crook of his neck.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They both sat there content with their partner, relishing in the touch of the other.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Together forever, till death do we part</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <b>-Here is the post game one-shot. I hope you enjoy it... Thanks for reading!-</b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>-ShuichiOuma010-</em>
  </b>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0035"><h2>35. Hugs {Fluff}</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>Shuichi's POV </b>
  <b>
    <br/>
  </b>
  <span>The morning announcement sounded throughout my room making me groan. It's time to get up again. It's time to have to do all of this again. It's time to be in this </span>
  <em>
    <span>killing game </span>
  </em>
  <span>again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I sighed, getting out of my bed and slowly walking over to my closet to change. Groggily I pulled off my old clothes and changed into some new ones.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Knock</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Knock</b>
</p><p>
  <span>I walked over to my door thinking it would be Maki or Kaito making sure I woke up. I opened the door and saw Kokichi?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hey~, Shuichi~," He said, poking my chest, making me blush. I hate it when he teases me like this...and knowing I have a crush on him doesn't make it any better.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"H-hey Kokichi," I said, moving my hand to my face trying to cover my blush.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"So, Shuichi, you're coming to the dining hall right?" He said dragging his finger down my chest on the last word making my eyes widen, while my blush only increased.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Y-yeah, why did you come to get me?" I asked under my breath worried about the reaction I would get.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh, is my beloved Shuichi angry that the idiot or miss ultimate assassin didn’t come to get you instead." He said with a teasing frown making me blush more because of how cute he was being.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I wouldn't say that I didn't want you to come, it was just unexpected," I said looking away from his eyes, feeling so hot I thought I might melt.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well, that is expected." He said putting his hand on his chin before he moved closer to me.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"But Shuichi, aren't you at least a little happy that I came?" He said hugging my arm while he slowly brought it down to my side revealing my red face. I got nervous and I didn't know what I was doing when I pulled him into a hug to hide my face in his hair. I felt him flinch under my grasp. I felt a little bad that I did this, but I'd rather do this than have him see my face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh?" He said into my shoulder before pulling back a little but not enough to reveal my face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Is Shuichi scared of blushing in front of other people?" He said in a serious tone, throwing me off for a moment. Then I felt him smile and put his arms around my torso leaning into my chest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well, it's fine either way. Because of this, I get to hug my beloved Shuichi, so it's fine with me." He said, moving his hand into my hair and rusting it slowly making me smile. I didn't say anything because I had no clue what to say in this situation.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well Shuichi, I would be ok if you wanted to do this with just me...but it does make me a little sad because you don't want me to see your face." He said sounding, sad? What does he mean by that? I could feel my heart race as my head was telling me he wanted to be around me. I shook my head with a frown. He is probably lying...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You don't have to say anything. I understand if you don't want to, most people wouldn't want to get closer to me." He said almost too quietly for me to hear. Most people? Does he mean that?...because of all his lying others have left him alone? I felt my face with my hand, seeing as the temperature went down I pulled out of the hug to see his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He looked genuinely sad for a moment before he blinked and put a smile on his face. Is he sad because he thinks others don't want to be around him because of the way he acts? Kokichi...I had no idea.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hey Kokichi, you know I do like being around you," I said, pausing to put my hand on his cheek, smiling as a small blush came to his pale cheeks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Shuichi?" He asked eyes widening for a moment before they softened and he gave me a small smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I didn't know that this would happen today, or ever..." He said under his breath. I looked at him confused. Before he moved back into my chest making me gasp from the sudden motion before I relaxed into his touch.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I really like you Kokichi, I love everything about you. The way you always are so fun to hang out with, the way you laugh and talk, how strong you are, and how you can take on Kaito despite the height difference." I paused putting my hand in his hair gently combing through it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I admire you Kokichi, you are so strong and I'm so weak...you make me want to become better, to become stronger," I said, leaning down to whisper in his ear. He lessened the tightness of his grip on me. I looked down adoringly at him, loving how cute he was and how much I adored the feeling of having him in my arms.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Shuichi, I don't know what to say." He said quietly before he pulled back and moved his face closer to mine. I didn't even process his lips were on mine until I saw his eyes were closed. After the shock of the sudden movement passed I gently kissed him back moving my hands to his hips while he moved his to my neck.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He broke away slowly moving away from me but only far enough that we were only inches apart. He looked up at me with his flushed face. I smiled seeing him blush knowing that I caused that. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I have never seen this side of Kokichi before. He is always acting so childish… He never shows what he is really feeling. I looked at his cheeks seeing his blush increase when he noticed I was staring at him. I moved my eyes away knowing that my face was probably as red as his or probably worse.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Shuichi, I hope you know what this means because sometimes you can be hella dense!" He said, his breath slowing down.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah Kokichi, I know what this means." I pulled him into another hug and pulled him over to my bed and sat next to him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I want you to be with me. I want to make memories with you." I said, grabbing his hand in mine and placing a soft kiss on his hand, moving it over to my cheek.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I want to be with you to Shuichi." He said leaning his head on my shoulder.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well now that that's taken care of we should probably go to the dining hall or people will think we are doing something suspicious," Kokichi said getting up and holding his hand out for me to grab. I took his hand in mine and we walked to the dining hall. I was content with the feeling of Kokichi's small hand in mine. I felt at ease for the first time ever since I came here. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kokichi, thank you for letting us be together.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>-Sorry for not updating this forever. I have been trying to do all my other one-shot books and nightmares and vampire kisses so thank you so much for being pairing with me! Thanks for reading!-</b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>-ShuichiOuma010-</em>
  </b>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0036"><h2>36. Hugs [Part 2] {Fluff/Angst}</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Shuichi and Kokichi have been together for only a couple of weeks and Kokichi was getting way too good at making Shuichi hella flustered. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Every day the detective tried to hangout with Kaito or was just walking to the dining hall. Kokichi would always run towards him and pull him into a hug. Depending on what side he came from he would hug him from behind, in front, the side, and even sometimes his arms or legs. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shuichi loved Kokichi and liked being around him and secretly liked all the attention he was getting (although he would never tell him) he was kind of getting slightly irritated that Kokichi could make him blush by this and make him super embarrassed in front of other people...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shuichi was walking to the dining hall and didn't get tackled by Kokichi for the first time in weeks making him feel a little lonely. He shrugged it off and walked into the dining hall. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He saw Kaito wave him over to where he was sitting with Maki. He looked around the room still seeing no Kokichi...he sat down and Kirumi brought them some food and they ate together while Kaito would talk about whatever he was talking about. Shuichi never really believed any of the stories Kaito told him and he could tell Maki didn't either.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>While they were eating Shuichi never got interrupted by Kokichi coming and hugging him or dragging him away from the group. He could feel the feeling of loneliness grow and he could see Kaito and Maki also off-put by the lack of distractions. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>When they finished eating Shuichi waved goodbye and walked over to the dorms to try and find Kokichi. He was starting to worry where the hell his boyfriend could be. He didn't think he was doing something bad. It was more he needed to know that he was ok to put himself at ease.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>While he was walking to the dorms the feeling of loneliness only grew this made his shoulders slouch. He wondered where he could be and why he wasn't here with him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He slowly walked into the dorms feeling like some unseen weight was dragging him down. He sighed and walked up to Kokichi's dorm room and knocked on the door.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He waited for a long time before the feeling became too much and he took out Kokichi's key out of his pocket and unlocked the door. He threw it open to find no Kokichi. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shuichi already felt on edge since this morning and seeing as he couldn't find Kokichi he broke down. He had tears falling down his face and he walked over to Kokichi's bed and grabbed his pillow and he snuggled into it taking in the scent. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The feeling of loneliness consumed him and he cried in there for who knows how long, after a while of crying he closed his eyes and with small sniffles he hugged the pillow tighter.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Shuichi?" Kokichi asked slowly walking into the room seeing the detective on his bed hugging his pillow. Shuichi looked up over his shoulder and seeing Kokichi he ran over to him and pulled him into a hug crying again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shuichi felt lonely before he and Kokichi got together, but after getting all the affection he got from Kokichi, he got paranoid that when he didn't get that from Kokichi he would be lonely again...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What happened?" Kokichi said slowly, rubbing circles into his back quietly whispering reassurances into his ear.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Wh-where w-w-were y-you?" Shuichi asked shakily, making Kokichi realize what was going on.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Were you lonely because I was gone?" Kokichi asked in a serious tone, moving one of his hands to his cheeks caressing the soft skin there that was covered in tears.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yes..." Shuichi said quietly embarrassed of his reason for acting out. Shuichi slowly looked up at Kokichi with a worried glance. Kokichi smiled at him and pulled him into a quick kiss before he hugged him again, nuzzling his face into his chest smothering Shuichi with affection.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm sorry I made you feel that way... Gonta wanted me to help him in his lab and on the way back Maki pulled me to the side and asked me if I did anything to you. After a while of me telling her, I had no idea why you were acting differently until she finally let me go. After that, I went to your dorm and then heard your soft sobs coming from mine. It broke my heart knowing that while I was gone you were lonely without me. So I walked into my dorm to see you crying and holding on to my pillow like it was a lifeline." Kokichi said he sounded guilty for his actions.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I should have told you. I'm sorry Shuichi." Kokichi said, moving his hands to his shoulders to rub them to calm him down. Shuichi didn't say anything because he was still flustered and hiccuping from all the crying.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It's ok...just next time tell me beforehand. Although I don't say it much, I do like it when you give me all the attention you do..." Shuichi said under his breath with a sigh. Kokichi's eyes widened upon hearing this. He thought Shuichi hated it when he was always making others look at Shuichi because he was running up to him and making sure they knew Shuichi was his.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh, I had no idea," Kokichi said, still in awe from how amazing Shuichi was. He smiled adoringly at Shuichi, blushing seeing how cute and clingy his beloved was being.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shuichi stayed silent only the sound of his quiet hiccups and sniffles could be heard. Kokichi just held him wanting to make up for how lonely he made him feel. Shuichi held Kokichi tight almost as he could disappear if he let go. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kokichi smiled and rubbed Shuichi's back and shoulders moving his hands up and then back down making Shuichi not tense anymore. Kokichi did this to let him know he was safe now and he could relax. Shuichi contently sighed and let himself relax under Kokichi's touch.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>.  .  .</span>
</p><p>
  <b>-I made a part two. I wanted to do something where Kokichi was always hugging Shuichi and making others know that they were together about every 5 seconds. Anyway, thanks for reading!-</b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>-ShuichiOuma010-</em>
  </b>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0037"><h2>37. Phantom Thief AU {Fluff/Angst}</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>Shuichi's POV</b>
  <b>
    <br/>
  </b>
  <span>I shouldn't have taken this case. It's almost always impossible to catch him. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>The phantom thief.</span>
  </em>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Whenever I think I'm one step ahead he is always a mile in front of me. So many things have been stolen ranging from expensive paintings to precious relics. He never leaves any evidence behind other than the missing object almost as if he was never there. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Shuichi is there any new information about the case?" Kyoko asked, putting a hand on my shoulder to get my attention. Damn it! I zoned out again...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No, he is almost like a ghost, it was like he was never here..." I said looking down trying to suppress my anger. Why is he so good at this? I can't help but think that this is just a way he found to be able to screw with me.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well, he is called the phantom thief after all..." She said taking the case folder that was almost empty except for the one picture we got lucky enough to get and a half-assed profile of what information we got from the blurry picture and from the few times me and him would have a one on one conversation. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was always calling me his beloved and always telling me that the only thing that was worth stealing was my heart. Does he mean it? Why is he toying with my emotions?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah, I guess you're right Kyoko..." I sighed defeated and grabbed my coat and keys after cleaning up the office and headed home. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>When I got home I walked up to my pinboard which had all the information I could find about this "</span>
  <em>
    <span>Phantom Thief</span>
  </em>
  <span>". I want to know why he only ever talks to me. Sometimes he confronts me and Kyoko and only addresses me like I'm the only one in the room. I felt my face grow hot. What is this thief doing to me?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I stared at the pinboard trying to process who this thief could be, but every single time I thought about it I drew a blank. Irritated by my feelings and by the lack of information I huffed and walked over to my bed. Quickly tossing my keys and coat to the side before falling on my bed. I looked over at the board one more time feeling a sense of loneliness growing in my heart before I huffed and let sleep consume me.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>.  .  .</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Another day. Sigh. Why does this have to be the only thing I do every day? It's not that I don't like trying to solve the mystery of the </span>
  <em>
    <span>Phantom Thief, it's</span>
  </em>
  <span> just that I get irritated every single time that he teases me and tries to play with my emotions that are making no sense. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yesterday I called my friend Kaede before she had to go to a big performance of hers. She mostly talked about how much she likes playing the piano and she asked me how my case was going. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I told her about the </span>
  <em>
    <span>Phantom Thief</span>
  </em>
  <span> case and told her about how confused he was making me. How we couldn't find any evidence. How we couldn't find any traces of DNA or anything to find out his identity. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I told her how annoying it was when he was toying with me and she laughed telling me </span>
  <em>
    <span>I think you might be in love with him Shuichi. </span>
  </em>
  <span>I denied this telling her it wasn't like that. How could a detective fall in love with a </span>
  <em>
    <span>Phantom Thief</span>
  </em>
  <span>? There's no way right?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I got into my car after changing and taking a shower. I drove to the station and saw that Kyoko was already there. She always seems to beat me here no matter how early I wake up... Does she even go home? Does she even sleep? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I laughed to myself knowing that Mokoto wouldn't let Kyoko overwork herself or let herself get too exhausted. They share an apartment and they get along pretty well knowing that they don't see each other that often. It makes me happy that my partner has found someone who can make her smile. I felt the feeling of loneliness again and shook my head. No time to deal with nonsense! </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hey, Shuichi!" She called over to me when I walked through the door.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah?" I asked walking over to the desk she was at and looking at the documents spread across the table.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"We finally found some correlation with where the thief is going." She said pointing to the map in the center of the spread-out documents. It had dots on all the places he has hit so far and there was a big circle around a museum that had one of the most expensive and rare gems ever known. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The Puple Diamond. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was a medium-sized gem but the one thing that made it so extraordinary is the way it could change different colors if danger was near and some say it could tell the future.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"H-how?" I asked looking at the map. How did I not see this before? All the other times he has stolen were all leading up to the biggest prize. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"We don't have time, we have to get over there now!" Kyoko said running out of the station and getting into her car. I followed close behind. We drove as quickly as we could to the museum. We rushed in and saw the gem was still there. I took in a sigh of relief before it was in vain.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh mister detective!~" The Phantom Thief called out in his normal teasing tone making me glare in the direction it came from.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm going to put a stop to this and you will be behind bars!" I yelled as he went out to the balcony. I rushed after him, leaving Kyoko behind.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh, you followed me out here? Don't you know how dangerous I could be Mister Detective~?" He said, turning around to face me. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Why do you do this?" I asked, staring him down and looking at his purple eyes through his mask.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Because I love the troubled face you are making right now." He paused and walked over standing right in front of me.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"And I love you Mister Detective~," He said before putting his lips on mine. I was so startled and confused before I gave in to what my body was telling me and kissed back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It wasn't very long because he had to get away and the police were coming up the stairs to the balcony. I grabbed his hand not wanting him to leave blushing at this fact.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Wh-" He started but I interrupted him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I don't want you to go..." I said looking down a blush across my entire face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"But I have to-" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I understand," I said letting my grip on his hand missing the warmth of it in mine right when they were apart.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well, Mister Detective. I fulfilled my objective so I'm giving up being a thief~," He said lifting my head up to make me look him in the eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"But you..."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I stole your heart so now I'm satisfied. I don't need to steal anything else anymore." He said placing the gem in my hand before leaving in an instant.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I stood there in shock watching him run away. I traced my lips with my finger putting a smile on my face.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>You stole my heart, you damn thief.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>-</em>
  </b>
  <b>Kokichi's love hotel event cracks me up. I have wanted to do this AU forever so here you go... Thanks for reading!-</b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>-ShuichiOuma010-</em>
  </b>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0038"><h2>38. Date {Fluff}</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>Kokichi's POV</b>
  <b>
    <br/>
  </b>
  <span>I was doing what I do every day. I was teasing Keebo. Although I find how offended he gets every time I make any kind of robophobic remark...it gets old. I'm so bored! While Keebo was trying to give me a rebuttal to my previous statement I saw Shuichi walk down the hallway making my focus turn to him. I walked out into the hallway and ran to catch up with him ignoring Keebo yelling after me.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Shuichi~," I called from behind him, making him quickly close the notebook he was reading out of before he turned around to me.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Kokichi, w-what are you doing here?" He asked, trying to cover up the blush coming to his face with his hand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh, not much I just wanted to ask you if you wanted to hang out with me today?" I said moving closer to him so I could hug his arm playfully.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hang out?" He asked, moving his hand down confused. I saw this coming. I have never really asked him to hang out before. I'm always dragging him away from Kaito and making him hang out with me...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah, maybe it could even be a date!" I exclaimed, making his face go bright red.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Ah! Well, if you want to..." He said the last part under his breath, making me blush.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah, hanging out with my beloved on a date will never be something I would pass up!" I said before letting go of his arm and turned to face him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Meet me by the gate at the front of the school after classes ok?" I asked before playfully poking his chest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Y-yeah, I'll be there." He said stuttering and moving his hand back to cover his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Alright! I'm looking forward to it!" I yelled before turning around and quickly walking to my class.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The last two classes I had felt so long! Waiting to go on a date with my beloved was the only thing I could think of. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>If this is what it is like to go on a date with someone it might not be with it! It is with Shuichi though...It's totally worth it! I thought to myself looking back at the clock seeing that there were only 5 minutes left. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Why is this class so damn long...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Kokichi could you please pay attention." Miss Monomi asked annoyed. I sighed and nodded, putting my head on my hands to stare at the board.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah," I mumbled trying not to say some snarky comment to get me into detention... again...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The rest of the class period was just Miss Monomi droning on about some shit. I almost fell asleep...</span>
</p><p>
  <b>RING!</b>
</p><p>
  <b>RING!!</b>
</p><p>
  <span>"Thank god it's over!" I sighed, making Nagito laugh at me before he left with Hajime.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I walked out of my class after shoving my books into my bag. I ran out of the school to the front gate. I hate waiting and I had to wait two long miserable hours! I just wanted to go on a date with Shuichi... </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I didn't know that it would take so long...I'm so fucking bored...I sighed and watched the students funnel out of the gate looking for Shuichi. Most of them had already passed when I spotted him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Shuichi!" I said, waving him over. He blushed and looked over at me before he walked over trying to avoid all of the passing students.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Ah, Kokichi." He said with a small smile when he got over to where I was. I ran up to him and hugged him, making him jump slightly before he put his arms around me.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Are you ready for our date my beloved?" I said into his chest because I wasn't tall enough to rest my head on his shoulder if he was standing upright...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah." He said quietly. He gets nervous and flustered so easily! It's so cute~!</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Alright! I heard there was this cute coffee shop just a couple blocks from here! You want to go there Shuichi?" I asked pulling out of the hug to take his hand in mine moving to stand beside him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah, that sounds nice." He said with a smile. I smiled seeing the blush on his face and feeling his hand in mine.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>We walked to the cafe while we had a pleasant conversation about school. We talked about how terrible it is, anyway...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Here we are!" I announced pulling him inside and finding us a table in front of the window. He moved his hat up slightly and smiled at me. I could see his eyes and they are absolutely beautiful.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What would you guys like to order?" The waiter asked as we were looking at the choices.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'll have a boba tea with a piece of your blueberry vanilla cake," I said looking over to Shuichi.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'll take green tea." He said quietly, not making eye contact with me. I frowned slightly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Alright, I'll be back in a few." The waiter said before he left with a bow.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"So, Shuichi, what do you want to do after this?" I asked trying to get him to look at me.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Maybe we could watch a movie at my place or something?" He said looking at me with a nervous look and a dark blush on his face. I didn't expect him to respond so a light blush came to my face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah, I would like that," I said with a smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Here you guys go. Have a great day!" The waiter said placing our order on the table so quickly I jumped a little. I saw Shuichi trying to stifle a laugh, making me give him a fake pout.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Thank you." He said before the waiter bowed again before he left.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You look really cute Kokichi," Shuichi said looking down. A blush came to my face making my hands fly up to my cheeks to try and cool them down.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well, I think my beloved is the most beautiful," I said leaning across the table to take his hat.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"H-hey!!" He yelled reaching for it. I was so shocked by how beautiful he looked without his hat. He had bright golden eyes, gorgeous dark blue hair, and the cutest blush on his face. I could see some of his faces when he had his hat on but never like this.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>While I was in awe he took his hat out of my hands and placed it back on his head with a huff. I smiled and laughed before we went back to eating.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After we finished up and tipped the waiter, we left the cafe hand in hand and walked to his house. We got to the front door and he unlocked it and ushered me inside. He walked over to the couch and patted the cushion next to him. I accepted and sat next to him with a smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You want to watch Zootopia?" He said, taking the disk out of the shelf by the tv.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah, that sounds nice," I said, pulling the blanket off the arm of the couch. Cuddling into it after I slipped it over my shoulders. Shuichi nodded and popped the DVD in and took a spot next to me.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As the movie started I moved closer to him and wrapped the blanket around him. Leaning my head on his shoulder and hugging his arm with a content sigh.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I had fun today, Kokichi." He whispered and placed his head on top of mine nuzzling his face into my hair.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I do too Shuichi," I said, taking his hand in mine and placing a gentle kiss on the back of his hand.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Thank you for today Shuichi.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <b>-I have no idea what to think anymore. I hope you like it. Thanks for reading!-</b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>-ShuichiOuma010-</em>
  </b>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0039"><h2>39. Stay Safe {Angst}</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>"Kokichi!" Shuichi yelled, grabbing Kokichi's hand and pulling the knife away. He looked down at the open wound that Kokichi had gotten moments before.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You don't have to keep going!" He yelled again, holding Kokichi's hand securely while moving him over to a chair. He rushed over to the cabinet to grab some bandages to wrap his hand. Shuichi took his hand again and slowly raised his sleeve to be able to wrap his hand better. When he lifted it Kokichi flinched and pulled his hand trying to get away only for Shuichi to tighten his hold on his hand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Shuichi!" He gasped when Shuichi finally raised the sleeve and saw that his arm was covered in cuts and faded scars. Shuichi didn't say anything, he just frowned and started to bandage his hand and moved down his arms. Kokichi just stared at him in fear. Afraid of what Shuichi would say. Afraid he would tell the others. That's the last thing he would want... </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Kokichi...how did this happen?" He asked while his hand slowly traced over the bandages on both of his arms.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"..." Kokichi didn't say anything, he just looked away from Shuichi. He didn't want to have to face him with tears coming to his eyes. He tried to stop himself from crying with no luck. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tears slowly trailed down his face and small sniffles came out of his mouth while he was trying to hold his sobs in. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Why did he have to find out? Kokichi yelled at himself trying not to start screaming. Why did this happen? It's all my fault. He said moving the arm Shuichi wasn't holding up to his eyes to quickly wipe them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It's ok Kokichi. I'm not mad. I just want you to be safe." Shuichi said quietly, moving his arms behind Kokichi to slowly pull him into a hug rubbing his back up and down to calm his whimpers.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm sorry," Kokichi whispered scared that his voice would betray him if he tried to speak any louder.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You don't need to be sorry." He said slowly, pulling back to hold his face in his hands to make Kokichi have to look at him. Kokichi had fat tears falling down his cheeks and his eyes were puffy while his nose was runny. Kokichi looked at him before he squeezed his eyes shut and started sobbing. He couldn't hold it in anymore, he just wished that things went differently and Shuichi wouldn't have had to find out about this...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It's ok," Shuichi said, wiping Kokichi's tears away before he pulled him back into a hug and whispered quiet reassurances in his ear. Kokichi's sobs started to calm down and his breath became slower. All that was coming out his mouth was shaky breaths and quiet hiccups from crying so much. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shuichi looked over at the door to the hallway and heard people walking outside the door. He picked Kokichi up and walked him out of the other door so he wouldn't have to explain the situation to anyone else. He knew that Kokichi was scared that he knew and that the last thing he would want is for anyone else to find out. Kokichi was so worn out from all the crying that he was half asleep in Shuichi's arms while they walked to the dorm rooms. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>When they got across the courtyard and made it into the dorm room without passing any of the other students...luckily...Shuichi took his key out of his pocket and walked into his dorm room placing Kokichi on his bed after slowly closing his door. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Shuichi...why are you helping me?" Kokichi said as his eyes fluttered open while he sat up before leaning back on the headboard trying to not fall asleep. Shuichi smiled and walked over to his bed to sit next to Kokichi.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Because I want to Kokichi. I care about you a lot..." He said the last part under his breath but Kokichi had a blush on his face, telling Shuichi that he heard. Shuichi blushed and turned his head away from Kokichi's gaze.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Why do you...care about me?" He asked, sounding tired as his eyes slid halfway closed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Because I really like you Kokichi. Why do you think I was hanging out with you?" Shuichi asked looking back at Kokichi who shook his head to keep himself awake.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well, I just thought you didn't trust me and was watching me...for everyone else..." Kokichi said another tear falling out of his eye before he sniffed again and wiped his nose with his sleeve.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No, I really like being around you...anyway, I should ask you this... Did you cut anywhere else?" Shuichi asked, looking at Kokichi taking his hand in his and giving him a supportive squeeze.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I would say no...but if you want me to tell the truth...then I have also...cut up my legs..." He said gesturing to his thighs and calves.  Shuichi gave a frown before he took Kokichi's hand and held it to his cheek.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Thanks for being honest with me... could I bandage them?" Shuichi asked, looking at Kokichi trying to read his face for any sort of answer.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah... Thank you, Shuichi." He said slowly getting up and sliding his pants off before flinching as he sat back on the bed. Shuichi blushed for a moment before he saw all the cuts down his legs and his worry consumed his thoughts. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He rushed into his bathroom and grabbed a first aid kit before coming back to Kokichi's side. Kokichi just sat and let his eyes close while Shuichi got out the cleaning substance.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"This is going to hurt," Shuichi warned, taking Kokichi's hand in his.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Ok." He said, grabbing Shuichi's hand before Shuichi nodded and grabbed the cloth with the cleaner on it. Shuichi slowly started to clean his legs. Kokichi flinched because of how it stung, but it was not the most painful thing he has done to himself before. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shuichi tried to be as quick and gentle as he possibly could be while he cleaned up Kokichi’s  legs. When he finished he bandaged them up and gave Kokichi one of his shirts to wear. It was long enough where it covered most of his thighs. Kokichi thanked him and shakily went to put the shirt on before he flinched as he got back into Shuichi's bed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shuichi looked at him, concern filling his thoughts. He knew that he liked Kokichi, so why was Kokichi doing this to himself? Shuichi sighed thinking he could think about all of this tomorrow. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was already late so Shuichi started to get ready for bed. He was going to just sleep on the floor with an extra blanket, but when he looked over to Kokichi he looked like he was about to cry. With a small smile, Shuichi got in the bed next to Kokichi and held him close to his chest making sure he didn't hurt him by touching any of his wounds.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Thank you," Kokichi said while he put his arms around Shuichi's back before he closed his eyes. Shuichi didn't say anything. He just kissed the smaller boy's head before he let himself fall asleep while they were holding each other.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>-I have had a weird start to my week. I have like three projects that are due this week so I'm not looking forward to it... Thanks for reading!-</b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>-ShuichiOuma010-</em>
  </b>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0040"><h2>40. Delivery Boy {Fluff}</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>Shipped.</b>
</p><p>
  <span>Shuichi ordered a package about a week ago and it was supposedly supposed to come today. He needed a new set of pins for his corkboard. He used them all the time for solving cases and they helped him to be able to put all of the evidence in one place. His corkboard used to be quarantined to one corner of his room, but after doing bigger and more complex cases he decided that it was time to get a bigger corkboard. He had an office room in his house that he used for his detective work when he was home...being a detective was very time-consuming. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He is in the office for almost 18 hours a day and some days they were so into the case that he almost worked at least 24 hour days. The latest time he has come home was 6 in the morning because Kyoko needed him to stay to type up the case file and it took a lot longer than either of them anticipated...and when he got home that night he just had to get ready for the next day of work right after. They got a couple of days off this week because the number of new cases coming in had calmed down so they gave some of the investigators that did more hours a break.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The wind was blowing softly outside making the leaves on the trees fall off only to be swept up and carried away. It was the middle of fall and most of the leaves have already changed to a variety of red, yellow, and orange. It was pretty cloudy outside making it seem later than it was.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shuichi was quietly working on his computer typing up a report that Kyoko requested him to do. Quiet piano music was playing in the background creating a calm feeling throughout his apartment. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He lived in an apartment that had 3 rooms. He used the largest room which was the bedroom for his office room and he used the smaller room for his bedroom. The main room had a small tiled kitchen and dining area connected with a carpeted area that was where he had a TV mounted on the wall with a couch parallel to it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He wasn't home that often so he didn't watch TV much unless it was the news about new criminal cases. It's not that he didn't enjoy watching TV or movies he just has never found the time to watch them. While he was still in school every weekend his friend Kaede would always invite him and some of her other friends over for a movie night. She told him it was for stress relief and a way he could make some friends.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shuichi didn't like talking to people that much because he never knew what to say to other people. He felt uncomfortable talking to people he wasn't familiar with...the only reason he even went is that Kaede was always dragging him there. Shuichi talked to some people there while Kaede was supporting him from the background. He talked to some people he would have considered friends, but after high school and college, they all went their own way. Shuichi never tried to reach out because they never reached out to him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The wind started to blow more forcefully and it made the branch outside Shuichi's window brush against the window. It made a quiet clattering sound and it made Shuichi look over to the window before he sighed. That branch always seemed to bug him in some way...it would always bang against his window in the middle of the night waking him up when it was already very hard for him to fall asleep. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He got up from his bed and closed the curtains over his window and turned the music up to muffle the sound. Shuichi was trying to catch up on sleep this week, but he wasn't getting anywhere...it was almost making him more tired when he got more time to sleep. He always seemed to have bags under his eyes all the time and now when he was getting more sleep it didn't seem to make them go away and overall wasn't helping him not feel exhausted all the time...</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Ding Dong</b>
</p><p>
  <span>He looked up from his computer yawning before he looked over to the door. He knew that it was probably his package that he ordered so he got up slowly and walked over to the door. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>When he opened the door he didn't expect to see someone around his age. Whenever he got packages before it was always the same older couple that came to his door. So this was new.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The young man standing outside his door had dark purple hair with lighter purple tips that curled up in a way Shuichi found interesting. It was put up into a ponytail that went through the back of the hat he was wearing that was part of his uniform but some of it was left out and framed his small porcelain face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His eyes were a beautiful violent color and some of his hair covered part of his right eye. He was also a little more than a head shorter than Shuichi. Shuichi felt himself staring at the smaller male finding it hard to look away because he looked beautiful. He felt a blush come to his face when the male gave him a teasing smirk.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You're Shuichi Saihara right?" He asked, looking up at Shuichi holding the box up to him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah," Shuichi said, finding it harder to talk while he was becoming more flustered by his childish demeanor.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well, then I came to the right apartment!" He exclaimed, handing him the package before pulling out the signature sheet.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"All you need to do now is sign here!" He said, handing Shuichi the clipboard with the signature sheet on top with a pen clipped to the top before he pointed to the blank spot for him to sign.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Ah," Shuichi gasped at the abruptness of the motion before he looked at him while signing the paper. The smaller male thanked him before he started walking down the hall.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Wait!" Shuichi yelled after him, making his face flush when the smaller male turned around to face him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah?" He asked fully, turning around confused at the sudden action.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"W-what's y-your name?" He wondered why he was stopping him just to get his name. Shuichi didn't know what it was about him, but he felt like he needed to know who he was. He was intrigued by him and thought he was very cute. He blushed at the thought.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh, my name is Kokichi, Kokichi Ouma!" He said walking back over to him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Thank you!" He said back to Kokichi who was soon standing in front of him. Kokichi didn't say anything, he just pulled out a sheet of paper before writing something on it before he handed it to Shuichi. Shuichi looked at him confused and took the paper from him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"That's my phone number if you were wondering." He said with a sweet smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What?" Shuichi said looking down at the paper the blush on his face getting more flustered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You are the first person who has bothered to ask me for my name and you are super cute." He said booping his nose before he turned around and walked down the hallway. Shuichi just stood there in his doorway and smiled at him as he walked away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He walked back into his apartment and slowly closed the door behind him. He didn't know what just happened but he did know that he felt content that he was able to meet this mystery delivery boy Kokichi.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shuichi had added his number to his phone and texted him about half an hour after he got it not wanting him to think he was some creep... </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kokichi texted back almost immediately. They talked to each other for the rest of the day and almost all night. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seasons changed and fall became winter and then winter became spring. The two have been having pleasant conversations over the phone as much as they could. Shuichi tried to give Kokichi as much time as he could while still being able to accomplish the tasks his work required him to do. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kokichi also was trying to be able to get enough money to be able and move closer to Shuichi. Shuichi always said he could stay at his house, but Kokichi didn't want to be rude or seem like he was freeloading off of Shuichi...Kokichi always politely declined, making his heart feel a little twinge of sadness before he shrugged it off. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kokichi never got offended if Shuichi couldn't have a conversation or couldn't hang out because he respected that Shuichi loved his job, but he did tend to get jealous sometimes of his partner Kyoko... </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shuichi also wanted to see Kokichi more often and felt guilty when he couldn't talk to him for long periods of time. They both wanted to get closer to the other but couldn't find the words or the time…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>.  .  .</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Shuichi I wanted to ask you..." Kokichi said over the phone late on a Saturday night after Shuichi got off his shift.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah, what is it Kokichi?" He asked, feeling a little concerned because Kokichi never sounded this nervous unless something was wrong.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I was wondering if you wanted to be my boyfriend?" He asked, blushing on his side of the phone coming closer to tears every moment that silence passed between them. He was about to hang up worried that he would decline...because he didn't think he could take it...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Of course I have wanted to ask you for the longest time," Shuichi said, a smile spreading across his face while his face was almost completely red. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Just thinking about how this mystery boy had come into his life so abruptly and he already got to be this close to him made his heart almost burst. He felt some tears come out of his eyes causing Kokichi to chuckle on the other side of the line.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You were always such a crybaby...but you are my crybaby." He said with a quiet tone giving Shuichi time to calm down and wipe his tears before responding.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah, sorry." He said with a sniffle.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You know what, I'm going to come over to your apartment," Kokichi said on the other side of the phone, finally accepting Shuichi's offer to move in with him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Really?!" Shuichi gasped, putting a hand over his mouth in embarrassment only to remind himself that Kokichi wasn't there to see his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah, I have made up my mind...I want to be with you Shuichi." He said over the phone into Shuichi's ear, making his heart burst. Shuichi just wanted to hug Kokichi and cover his face in gentle soft kisses. He wanted to show him how happy he was, how happy he was to finally be with him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'll come help you!" Shuichi exclaimed, grabbing his car keys only to be interrupted by Kokichi.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Don't worry about it, I'm already on my way." He said with another laugh at how Shuichi was so eager to help him. But mostly because he was positive Shuichi wanted to help him mostly because he wanted to see him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They hadn't seen each other face to face in a week or so and it broke both of their hearts, but Kokichi's heart was going a million miles a minute at the thought of being able to see his beloved every day.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'll be there in 10 minutes ok," Kokichi said watching the road as he drove trying to keep his excitement under control so he didn't speed or worse crash.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Alright, I love you Kokichi," Shuichi said with a shaky voice. Kokichi looked down at the phone with a smile before turning his attention back to the road.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I love you too Shuichi," Kokichi said before pressing the red end call button. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shuichi held his phone to his chest with a smile and a big blush on his face. He started to clean out his room to make room for Kokichi's stuff. He has been to Kokichi's apartment and knows that he doesn't have that many things because he was always moving around. When he moved some stuff around he sat down on his bed smiling to himself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"He is going to be here with me," Shuichi said to himself before he heard the doorbell ring. He stood up quickly and rushed over to the door pulling it open to reveal Kokichi holding a suitcase with a backpack on his back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm here." He said before Shuichi threw himself at Kokichi pulling him into a hug. He almost knocked both of them over, but neither of them cared. They were so happy that this was the reality they were in.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They moved Kokichi's few things into Shuichi's room and placed his clothes in the closet. They both smiled contently at the room. It felt complete. Kokichi took Shuichi's hand in his.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I love you so much Shuichi." He whispered before placing a kiss on his lips making Shuichi's eyes go wide while he flushed. Kokichi pulled away with a cute blush on his face making Shuichi throw his lips back onto his. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kokichi was surprised at first because Shuichi never initiated anything but he wasn't complaining...and he soon kissed back with the same force as the taller boy. His hands moved to his hair to gently hold his head. Shuichi's hands went to his hips pulling him closer to him. They embraced for a long moment before Shuichi pulled away breathless.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I love you too," Shuichi whispered before placing a quick kiss on his forehead before they decided to go to bed. They got into the bed and Shuichi wrapped his arms around Kokichi's tiny frame that he adored. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Good Night," He whispered before they both fell asleep comfortable in the embrace of their significant other.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>-This one is longer because I have been trying to write longer parts. I will not guarantee that all of them will be longer...but I will try my best. Thanks for reading!-</b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>-ShuichiOuma010-</em>
  </b>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0041"><h2>41. Rings [Valentine's Day Special] {Fluff}</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>Shuichi's POV </b>
  <b>
    <br/>
  </b>
  <span>It's today! I rushed around my house and grabbed my keys and rushed out to my car. When I opened the door the cold air outside hit my cheeks making them turn pink. I got into my car and put my keys into the ignition and immediately started to make my way over to Kokichi's house. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I have to make this day perfect for him. He is always saying that he doesn't want me to do anything and that I don't have to do anything for him, but being his boyfriend I know that he was lying. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>We exchanged house keys last year so I quietly opened the door and it didn't seem like he was awake yet. Taking a sigh of relief I walked in slowly closing the door and made my way up to his room after placing some of the things I brought for today on the table.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kokichi was soundly sleeping while he was clinging onto his pillow, soft snores escaping his lips. I smiled to myself and placed a kiss on his forehead before heading back downstairs. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I looked at the bags on the table and started to make breakfast for Kokichi. I was trying to be as quiet as I could be. I decided to make the food at his house so it would be fresh and hot when he woke up. I smiled feeling a blush coming to my cheeks knowing what I had planned for Kokichi.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Kokichi's POV</b>
  <b>
    <br/>
  </b>
  <span>I slowly woke up to the sound of frying and sizzling from downstairs. I blinked and rubbed my eyes a couple of times hugging my pillow one last hug before slowly slipping out of my bed. I was still wearing my pajamas which were just a long shirt with a small pair of shorts underneath. I groggily walked over to the door knowing it was probably just Shuichi downstairs. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>When I got down the stairs I saw Shuichi in front of the stove wearing a dark blue suit making me feel underdressed, but I knew that he wouldn't care that much and I was too tired to care right now. I moved over to him and wrapped my arms around his torso and rested my head on his back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Good morning Kokichi." He said with his unfairly angelic voice making me swoon. How is he such an angel? How the hell did this angel end up with someone like me?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Good morning," I said with a groan not liking how tired I sounded. I didn't get that much sleep last night because DICE needed me to help them organize the next couple of jobs and it took a lot longer than I thought it would... </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Usually, I was awake first, but because of last night, I must have slept in, to an extent. I mean it is almost 11...but seeing as I'm usually up at 5 am this is a big difference... </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm just making you some crepes. You can go sit down or back to sleep if you want while I finish up." He said putting his hand on top of mine caressing the back of my hand slowly moving to caress each of my fingers. I smiled and tightened my grip on his torso silently telling him that I wasn't going to move. He laughed slightly before he went back to finishing breakfast.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I love you," I whispered into his back before placing a gentle kiss on his back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I love you so much Kokichi," He whispered back before he turned to face me and wrapped his arms around me making me let out a content sigh. He rubbed my back up and down making me want to just fall asleep on him right then and there. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Mmhm," I mumbled into his shirt before he pulled out of the embrace just enough to where he could see my face. He took my hand and led me to the table and sat me down on a chair after he draped his jacket over the back. I sat down and took the sleeves of the jacket in my hands and moved them to my face taking in his scent. I felt a blush come to my cheeks and covered them with the jacket. Shuichi looked at me like I was the only thing he wanted before bringing the food over and taking a seat next to me.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"How late did you stay up last night?" He asked me while I leaned my head on his shoulder.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I needed to help DICE...and it took way longer than I thought it would..." I said with a small yawn before eating the food that was on the plate in front of me.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"That makes sense seeing how tired you are..." He said quietly before he started eating.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Thanks for this Shuichi. Even though you didn't have to..." I said before he cut me off.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Don't thank me yet we still have the whole day ahead of us. I want to make this day special for both of us." He said taking my hand in his placing a kiss on each of my fingers before he placed one delicately on my knuckles letting it linger there longer than the rest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh, what else do you have planned?" I asked looking up at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It's a surprise." He whispered in my ear before kissing my cheeks and letting his head rest on my shoulder.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well then, I'm looking forward to it," I said, finishing up my food before getting out of my seat.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm going to go and get ready so you're not the only one who is dressed up." I walked away before Shuichi could say anything else and walked up to my room. The outfit I had chosen was a dark purple suit and some black shoes with a tie. I put it on and put my hair back into a ponytail and looked at myself in the mirror. After deciding that I looked good I went back to Shuichi.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"So where are we going first?" I asked, seeing him blush at my appearance making my face turn a light shade of pink.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I wanted to start this off by watching a movie. So let's go downstairs. I already set everything up." Shuichi said putting the last few things away from breakfast before he made his way over to me and led me down the stairs into my basement or what we call the movie room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shuichi had definitely prepared this before everything was organized and there were lights all around the room and the couch was already covered in pillows and blankets. I could feel my mouth open in awe and Shuichi's hand gave mine a squeeze before he took me over to the couch.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>We watched maybe 3 movies while we were snuggling and I was making commentary almost every 5 seconds. I did this for one, I wish the character would listen to what I was saying so they could be smart for once, and two, when Shuichi would laugh it would make my heart burst with love and affection for this man...so it's totally worth it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When the last movie had finished it was probably around 5 pm and Shuichi pulled me up and led me back upstairs before taking me outside. It was a little chilly outside and because it was still around winter it was already dark outside. Shuichi pulled me closer to him to keep me warm, making my face hot again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He didn't say anything as we walked down the road. I wanted to ask where we were going but knew that he would say that it was a surprise. I just smiled knowing that anything I do with Shuichi is something I will never forget. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>We started to get to this big building and I was getting more curious with every step I took. Shuichi could tell and squeezed my shoulders trying to get me excited.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Entering the building and being blinded by all the lights made my eyes close for a moment before I adjusted. I saw that all of our classmates were there from Hope's Peak and they were all dancing and having a great time. I looked up at Shuichi who was smiling down at me and I was so shocked by how this was all put together without my knowing I didn't know how to react.</span>
</p><p>
  <span> Shuichi pulled me to the dance floor as a slow song was starting to play and took my hand in his and let the other one rest on my waist. I glared at him knowing that he made me take the girl part only to receive a playful smile. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>We danced for a long time and it was mostly just me resting my head on his chest with his arms around my back while we slowly moved around taking small steps in a circle.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I love you Shuichi. Thank you for doing all of this for me." I said quietly into his chest making him smile and take my head in his hands.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I have one more thing for you tonight." He said before he pulled me out one of the side doors into the darkness of the night. We stood out in a field of grass. It was calm and quiet, making me feel at ease. Shuichi grabbed my hand and placed a ring in it before he took my other hand in his.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Kokichi Ouma, I give you a promise ring. I promise I will stay by your side and love you forever. I will cherish all the moments we have together and be there to help you when you're scared. I love you to the ends of the Earth. So, please accept this ring." Shuichi said before he bowed his head. I felt my face grow hot and tears started to pour down my face. I cupped his cheeks and made him face me.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Of course I will!" I said pulling him into a hug.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm so happy I got to have this day with you," I said into his ear, making him start to let his tears fall down his face. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>This was the best day I could have wished for.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Thank you, Shuichi.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <b>-Here is the last one-shot for the Valentine's day specials! I hope you enjoyed! Thanks for reading!-</b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>-ShuichiOuma010-</em>
  </b>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0042"><h2>42. DespairDisease! Kokichi {Fluff/Angst}</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The new motive...despair disease...students are chosen and given the disease making them act out of character...knowing this was all put in place for a murder to happen it can't be good...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shuichi woke up the next day knowing that some of the students have already been affected by the disease. The feeling of anxiety only increased when he went to the dining hall where all the remaining students met every morning for breakfast... and Kokichi wasn't there along with half of the other students...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His heartbeat started to quicken. Where could they be? Where could Kokichi be? Maybe someone got killed? He shook his head trying to stay sane by pushing all the thoughts coming into his mind away so he could think. Kokichi might still be sleeping. I should go and check on him. Shuichi thought to himself silently leaving the dining hall to head back to the dorms.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He walked through the door and went to Kokichi's dorm room. He stood staring at the door silently hoping that Kokichi was alright as he knocked on the door. Kokichi didn't answer the door and this made Shuichi start to panic. He banged on the door and yelled for Kokichi for a moment before the door abruptly swung open.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What are you doing here?" He asked looking up at him. He looked like shit...his eyes were all red and his cheeks were wet and it looked like he had been crying...he was wearing a thick black sweatshirt with checkered sweats on. He looked a little irritated, but his confusion was more dominant on his face. Shuichi thought analyzing the situation trying to piece together what was going on with Kokichi.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I just came to make sure you were ok." He said under his breath bringing his hand to his face to hide his small blush. Kokichi looks so cute. But why was he crying? Does he need help? Shuichi thought to himself, turning his gaze back to Kokichi.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh well that was considerate of you, but you should leave. I'm not doing fine so go meet up with everyone else." Kokichi said, placing his hands on his chest pushing him away from his door before he shut it. Shuichi placed his foot in the way before opening the door again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You are obviously not ok seeing as you told me moments before." Kokichi looked irritated but didn't say anything.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I want to help you Kokichi. So please let me in." Shuichi said before Kokichi gave him a nod not trusting his own voice. He walked into Kokichi's room and locked the door behind him. Kokichi walked over to his bed and laid down and stared at the ceiling letting us arm cover his face. Shuichi walked over and laid beside him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Do you want to talk about it?" Shuichi asked, trying his best not to sound demanding. He wanted answers but he didn't want to freak Kokichi out... that was the last thing he wanted.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yes," Kokichi said before he moved his hands to his eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Shit!" He yelled, making him jump.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Kokichi?" Shuichi asked sitting up to look at Kokichi's face that was covered by his arms at the moment.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Sorry...I didn't mean to yell at you...I just have the truthful disease...making me tell the truth...all the fucking time..." kokichi sighed sounding defeated. So he did get the disease...Shuichi thought-feeling bad for Kokichi. He knew that Kokichi felt comfortable lying. Seeing as anytime he talks to anyone it's a lie...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I shouldn't keep pushing you away...but I do like a fucking moron...you always want to help me and I push you away because I'm so selfish...I don't deserve you..." Kokichi said as his sobs cut him off. He couldn't even see Shuichi's face anymore. He was too blinded by his own tears.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No, you don't have to say you're sorry...it must be hard for you," Shuichi said, placing his hand on top of Kokichi's hand, taking it in his. He pulled Kokichi's hands off his face and saw that he had been crying. With a frown, he laid down next to him and pulled him into a hug.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I care about you Kokichi and I want you to feel happy. You deserve all the love and care I want to give you." Shuichi said, pulling his hand to his lips and placing a soft kiss on his hand making Kokichi flustered. His face grew red and his eyes looked anywhere where Shuichi wasn't. Shuichi laughed time himself and moved his hands to Kokichi's cheeks making him face him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Shuichi?!" Kokichi yelped trying to move his hands to hide his blush. He held his hands away from his face. Kokichi definitely was being more honest. He would usually say it's a lie and push Shuichi away. He was flustered and it made Shuichi only fall for him so much more. He found the way he would look away from his gaze because he was embarrassed, unbearably cute. The cute flush on his cheeks and the way his hair was in his face allowing Shuichi the chance to brush it out of his eyes gently caressing the skin on his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Kokichi, do you like me?" Shuichi asked already knowing the answer but he wanted to hear him say it. Kokichi's face burned under Shuichi's eyes. Shuichi has him backed in a corner, even if he wanted to lie he couldn't. Kokichi sighed and took in an irritated breath knowing that this was all part of Shuichi's plan.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yes, I do...I love you a lot, Shuichi." Kokichi said, pulling me closer to him to hide his face in my chest. He was acting way out of character and this made Shuichi feel braver to be able to confront him like this. Was Kokichi always like this and he just hides it in front of the others? Probably...but I'm glad I'm the only one that gets to see Kokichi in this state.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I love you so much Kokichi," Shuichi said, moving his head on top of Kokichi's, holding his waist securely with his arms. Kokichi shuffles as close as he can to Shuichi and sighs contently.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm glad you came to my door Shuichi," Kokichi whispered into Shuichi's chest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm glad you were honest with me today." He said, making Kokichi scoff at him. Shuichi laughed at how cute Kokichi was, before he moved back to plant a kiss on his lips. Kokichi flushed surprised before kissing him back. Shuichi smiled and felt Kokichi smile against his lips.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shuichi was happy that Kokichi got the disease he did. He was glad that he could finally see Kokichi without his mask and just be able to be with him, and be honest with him.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>-I really like the despair disease motive and I think it would have been interesting if they used it in Danganronpa V3. Thanks for reading!-</b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>-ShuichiOuma010-</em>
  </b>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0043"><h2>43. DespairDisease! Shuichi {Fluff}</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>All the students at the Ultimate Academy for Gifted Juveniles were called to the gym. The purpose of this was for Monokuma to give a new motive.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"God he says it's urgent but then he takes forever to show up!!" Kokichi yelled exasperated and irritated. Shuichi didn't say anything out loud but he agreed with Kokichi. Why did Monokuma make it sound so urgent if he wasn't even here?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Heyo Ultimates!!" Speak of the devil...and he will come. The sadistic bear jumped onto the stage with a thump.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Finally!" Kokichi yelled, making Monokuma glare at him, making him shut up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Seeing as you are all here I will introduce the new motive!" Monokuma announced moving his arms out to his sides dramatically.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Why do we need a new motive..." Maki whispered to herself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No killing is happening and that makes it so boring!!" Monotaro yelled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Please don't make it something gory..." Monopiane gasped covering her eyes with her paws.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"The new motive is despair disease!" Monokuma announced making confused gasps echo throughout the gym.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Some of the students at this academy will get this disease. They won't act like themselves and maybe they will even kill someone who knows! This will start tonight! So make sure you lock your doors!!" Monokuma screeched before he and his cubs disappeared as abruptly as they came. Kokichi walked out of the gym feeling nervous. What does he mean by they will act differently? Would one of us really murder for this? Kokichi thought to himself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Kokichi are you alright? You have been acting a bit weird..." Shuichi said placing a hand on his shoulder making him jump a bit.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah, I'm fine! Is it that my beloved Shumai is worried about me! I love you too Shuichi!" Kokichi said before playfully pulling Shuichi into a hug.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"H-Hey!" Shuichi yelled blushing at Kokichi's action.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Does my beloved Shumai really love me?" He asked, placing a hand on his cheek moving his face closer. Shuichi's blush became darker as Kokichi came closer. He could feel his heartbeat quicken, hoping, silently holding that Kokichi didn't notice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You don't have to answer!! I'm pretty tired so I'm going to go to bed! Goodnight my beloved Shumai!!" Kokichi yelled, pulling away from Shuichi with a small blush forming on his cheeks while he rushed over to the dorms. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shuichi stood there confused at what just happened, but shrugged it off leaving to his room as well. The nighttime announcement already went off so it was late... Shuichi feeling equally exhausted and flustered he slowly made it into his room and went to bed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>.  .  .</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shuichi woke up and felt super hot all of a sudden. And he had this immense craving for physical touch and he knew the one person he wanted it from. Kokichi Ouma.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shuichi walked out of his room with only one thing on his mind. Where is Kokichi? He walked down the halls ignoring anyone who tried to talk to him. He couldn't even think straight. The only thing he cared about, no, the only thing that mattered was Kokichi. He needed Kokichi.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He stormed into the dining hall and saw Kokichi standing in the corner of the room teasing Keebo. Shuichi smiled knowing he found his target. He rushed over to Kokichi and backed him into the wall slamming his hand by the side of his head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Shuichi?!" Kokichi yelped trying to keep his fear under control.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I have been looking for you~, Kokichi~," Shuichi whispered, moving his head down to Kokichi's shoulder wrapping his arms around his torso, pulling him closer to him. Kokichi looked up at him confused and looked around to the other people in the dining hall only to revive confused glances or unconcerned shrugs. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He wrapped his arms around him. Although he didn't say it out loud, Kokichi loved the affection Shuichi was giving him. He wouldn't admit it but it has been a very long time since he has felt the wonderful touch of another. His face grew hot when Shuichi picked him up and ran out of the dining hall holding him close to his chest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Shuichi?! What are you-" Kokichi started silently trying to get his flush to calm down. He looked down at him with a longing stare.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I want cuddles from my Kokichi," Shuichi said, leaning down to whisper it into his ear, making his blush darken. He gave up trying to suppress it at this point...he had already figured out that Shuichi must be acting weird because of the new motive…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Maybe because Shuichi was always so cut off from others...he got an affectionate disease? Kokichi asked himself, feeling guilty that it was him that Shuichi wanted. He liked Shuichi a lot and this whole thing was making his brain malfunction, but he was worried that because Shuichi was under the effects of the disease he was just being used...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"O-oh," Kokichi stuttered out not knowing how else to respond to this. Shuichi stopped making Kokichi jump. He looked around and saw that they were in front of his dorm room. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kokichi felt his face get hot again wondering what Shuichi was going to do to him...he says that he wants to cuddle..,but does he mean that? Kokichi pushed his naughty thoughts out of his head and looked at Shuichi who was opening his door. He walked inside, locked the door and placed Kokichi on the bed immediately laying down next to him. His arms went around Kokichi once more, holding him close to his chest. Kokichi closed his eyes and let himself relax under his touch. They both fell asleep in the embrace of the other.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shuichi had been inseparable from Kokichi ever since he had gotten the disease. Kokichi absolutely loved every second of it. He didn't want it to end and he knew this was selfish but he didn't want to give up the moments he had where Shuichi would hug and kiss him. He loved all the affection he received. Shuichi has also been dragging Kokichi to his room every night to be able to hold him close. They were around each other all the time, most of the other students thought this was weird and tried to reason with Shuichi while others just shrugged it off.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"A body has been discovered please gather in the ultimate magician lab," Monokuma announced through the speaker making Kokichi's heart slump. Did someone die? Kokichi thought. He and Shuichi, who was still clinging to him, slowly made their way to Himiko's lab.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Himiko Yumeno lay there on the ground dead for all of us to see. Monokuma gave them a day to investigate which was basically Kokichi pulling Shuichi around to look for clues. Monokuma also postponed the trial to the next morning so he could reverse the disease because a murder occurred. Kokichi and Shuichi went to bed after the investigation time ran out. Kokichi shook under Shuichi's arms before they fell asleep.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kokichi woke up first and jumped a bit when he felt Shuichi's arms around him before he remembered what happened the day before. He sighed and wanted to get all the affection he could get before Shuichi was not under the effect of the disease before.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Kokichi..." Shuichi mumbled into Kokichi's hair making the smaller male blush. Shuichi subconsciously pulled him closer to his chest with a content sigh.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Shuichi, I can leave if you want me too. You probably don't want me here because you're not under the influence of-" Kokichi started only to be cut off by Shuichi's lips on his.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I love you Kokichi. I was just too nervous and shy to tell you...but I do like being like this with you." Shuichi said, hiding his face in Kokichi's neck making the smaller Yelp.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Could we stay like this Kokichi?" Shuichi asked quietly, nervous for his response. Kokichi smiled and nuzzled into Shuichi silently telling him that he wanted that as well. Shuichi smiled and whispered and I love you before closing his eyes again feeling content with Kokichi in his arms.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>-Here is the other despair disease AU. I hope you liked it... Thanks for reading!-</b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>-ShuichiOuma010-</em>
  </b>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0044"><h2>44. Proposal {Fluff}</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>"Hey, Kokichi?" Shuichi asked, looking down at Kokichi who was resting on his lap.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Yeah Shushu?" He asked looking up at him to look into his golden eyes. Shuichi blushed softly while he moved his hand to caress Kokichi's cheek.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I was wondering if you wanted to maybe go on a date tomorrow... Maybe we could go to dinner and finish the night with a walk?" He asked, looking away from Kokichi flustered.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Yeah, that would be nice," Kokichi said, letting his eyes flutter closed again as they went back to being in a content silence with only the sound of the rain falling lightly on the window outside. The night slowly turned to a close and they both soon went to bed. Shuichi felt content holding the smaller male in his arms.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The sun came shining through the window making Shuichi flinch at the light. He tried not to move too much knowing that Kokichi was sleeping next to him. They were both early risers, but there were some rare moments when Shuichi would wake up before Kokichi. Kokichi has always woken up at 5 in the morning on the dot. Shuichi usually takes a bit longer to wake up and usually is letting his body start to wake up around 6:30.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Good morning Shushu~"Kokichi mumbled, opening his eyes for a brief moment before letting them flutter closed. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Good morning my beloved~" Shuichi cooed in his ear pulling Kokichi closer to him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"What time is it?" Kokichi asked with a groan when the light met his vulnerable eyes.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"It's 6:25 Koki," Shuichi whispered, letting his lips graze Kokichi's mouth. Kokichi huffed when Shuichi pulled away and got out of bed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Shushu! I want you to stay...you’re warm..." Kokichi gasped, puffing out his cheeks irritated.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"That's why you get up! I'm making eggs!" Shuichi said before walking out of the room with a playful wave.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"But Shuichi-" Kokichi groaned before sliding out of the bed. He looked around the room for some clothes and saw Shuichi's hoodie hanging over the chair. Slipping the jacket on with some skinny jeans before he left the room. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He plopped himself in a chair at the table resting his head on his arms. Shuichi laughed to himself at how cute he was being. He placed the food on the table taking his place next to Kokichi. Lightly nudging him to let him know the food was ready.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"So where are you planning on taking me too?" Kokichi said leaning his head on Shuichi's shoulder with a small yawn.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Shuichi smiled to himself. "I wanted to take you to the new cafe Kaede and Kirumi opened. She also said she could get me a reservation...because it was already booked." Shuichi let his hand move to the back of his neck awkwardly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kokichi giggled. "It must be really nice then!" He exclaimed before going to eat the rest of his meal. Shuichi laughed and put his arm around Kokichi's shoulder pulling him closer. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He leaned down to rest his chin on his shoulder. "Yeah, anything for my Koki," Shuichi whispered in his ear making his face flush.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Shuichi!" Kokichi yelled, bringing his hands to his face. Shuichi grabbed his hands and kissed him all over his face.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Shuichi loved it when he found out that Kokichi gets flustered when he does certain things. Now he can get him back for all the times that he makes him flustered in public. Shuichi never has enough courage to make him flustered in public...but he does enjoy seeing his face get flushed every once in a while.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Koki, I love when you blush...but I hate it when you make me so flustered...but it's only because you're so cute~," He said, placing one final kiss on his lips.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"H-Hey!" Kokichi yelled, pushing Shuichi's face away from him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>.  .  .</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Kokichi we are going to be late!" Shuichi yelled from the bottom of the staircase already dressed up in a dark blue suit and tie.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Just a minute!!" Kokichi yelled back. Shuichi knows that Kokichi liked to dress up any time they "go out". Shuichi doesn't ever say it out loud, but he thinks it is absolutely adorable.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I'm ready!!" Kokichi said running down the stairs. Shuichi flushed when he saw Kokichi. He was wearing a purple suit with a lavender shirt with a matching dark purple tie. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He dragged his finger down Shuichi's chest. "You like it~," Kokichi said teasingly, making Shuichi's blush darken. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Shuichi covered his mouth with his hand embarrassed. "Yeah..." He said under his breath, making Kokichi blush.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"So, are you ready to go?" Shuichi held out his arm and Kokichi took it with a small giggle.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Of course Shuichi," Kokichi said, linking his arm with Shuichi's and let his head rest on his shoulder as they walked out to his car.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>.  .  .</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They got to the restaurant and took their table for two that Kaede prepared for them. Shuichi had told her of his plan to propose to Kokichi and she hugged him and told him she would definitely help him. He was thankful for what Kaede was able to prepare for them and silently thanked her.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"What would you guys like to have tonight?" Kirumi said, coming over to their table.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Just two specials," Shuichi said quietly before she took the menu, knowing that Kokichi wanted Panta and Shuichi would just take water.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kirumi brought the meals back and Shuichi and Kokichi ate while Kokichi talked about what he did last week while Shuichi was slowly getting more nervous.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They finally finished after an hour and Shuichi's nerves were shot. He was so worried he would mess up that his nervousness was causing his hands to shake, really badly. Kokichi noticed this and stopped Shuichi.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He held his shoulders and looked him in the eyes. "Are you doing ok Shu?" He paused taking Shuichi's hand in his to plant a small kiss on both of them. "You seem really nervous? Was this too much social interaction for you today?" His comment could be taken as rude, but he was being serious...sometimes when Shuichi was around people too much he got super nervous...</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"No, I'm ok," Shuichi said with a smile that he hoped reassured Kokichi that he was ok. Kokichi looked at him unconvinced before he sighed. "Ok then..."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They went on their walk to an open meadow with lots of flowers. They both loved flowers and loved going to meadows together. Their first date was in the exact meadow Shuichi picked for this event.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Shuichi stopped Kokichi when they were in the right spot and took a shaky breath in. "Kokichi," He paused, kneeling down behind him and pulling the ring out of his pocket. Kokichi felt tears come to his eyes as Shuichi took his hand in his.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Kokichi Ouma, I have loved you ever since the day we first met, and still love every single thing about you. You are so perfect and so special to me. So, I want to ask you this so I can be with you forever...will you marry me?" He asked, feeling his hand start to shake more. Kokichi put his hands to his mouth to silence the sobs slipping out of his lips.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He jumped at Shuichi pulling him into a hug and knocking him on the grass in the process. "Yes! YES! A thousand times yes! I love you so much!" Kokichi said planting kisses all over his face before Shuichi grabbed his chin and placed his lips on Kokichi's. Almost immediately Kokichi kissed back with the same passion. They both tried to express their overwhelming passion and love for the other in this one kiss but seeing as air was something they needed...the moment got cut short.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I'm so glad you asked! I was actually planning on asking you Shu~," Kokichi said, laying his head on his chest wrapping his arms around his back.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I'm glad I did too." He said, wrapping his arms around Kokichi.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I love you."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>-Sorry, this is not the best! It was kind of rushed...because I have lots of school work...again...sorry! Thanks for reading!-</b>
</p>
<p>
  <b>
    <em>-ShuichiOuma010-</em>
  </b>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0045"><h2>45. Moving In {Fluff}</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Shuichi and Kokichi were packing Kokichi's stuff into boxes because Kokichi had been asking if he could move in with Shuichi for weeks...and Shuichi finally gave in to his request. It's not that Shuichi didn't want to move in with him...he just didn't know Kokichi was ready for this kind of commitment.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Are you sure this is what you want Kokichi?" Shuichi asked, looking over at Kokichi who was packing his clothes into a box.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah! It's not fun when I don't get to be around you all the time! And sometimes I don't get to see you every day! So this way I know that I will be able to see your face every day!" He exclaimed, puffing out his cheeks, making Shuichi laugh. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Alright, alright!" Shuichi said, walking over to help Kokichi load his things in the car.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Tch!" Kokichi scoffed and walked out to the car. He placed the box he was holding in the back with Shuichi doing the same moments later. Shuichi found this entire thing humorous...and Kokichi was only plotting ways he could make him pay for this later. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>.  .  .</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They drove to Shuichi's house which, I might add, was down a big hill and through a small forest of trees. Kokichi always made fun of how secluded Shuichi's house was while Shuichi always told him he had neighbors that lived next to him. He had neighbors who were there before him and some that came recently. Rantaro and Kaede moved in to be roommates and were already there when he moved in. Kiibo and Miu moved in later, a couple of months ago actually.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Shumaiiiiii." Kokichi groaned, making Shuichi sigh and look over at him briefly before turning back to the road. He saw that Kokichi was dramatically leaning back on the seat he laughed to himself before he responded. "What's wrong Kichi?" He asked making Kokichi smile at the nickname he used.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm tired!" He exclaimed, making Shuichi move his hand over grabbing Kokichi's hand bringing their hands to Kokichi's cheek. "It's going to be ok sweetheart~ I will let you take a nap when we get there~,' Shuichi said, moving their hands to rest on the armrest in between them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"But you have to take one with me!" Kokichi yelled, making Shuichi smile. "Of course," He said before Kokichi interrupted his ongoing thought. "I know you only run on naps Shumai~" Kokichi cooed, making Shuichi blush at the statement... "You know I'm right Shushu~," He said again, bringing Shuichi's hand to his lips. Planting a soft kiss there before putting it to his chest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah, yeah..." Shuichi said, embarrassed, making Kokichi want to tease him so much more. But thankfully for Shuichi, they pulled into the driveway of their soon to be shared house. Kokichi jumped up excitedly and rushed out to the back of the car. "Can you-" Kokichi yelled only to be cut off by Shuichi coming over and opening the trunk of the car. "Yup," He said with a teasing smile making Kokichi flush. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well let's bring your stuff inside so you can take a nap~," Shuichi said, grabbing one of the boxes and moving to unlock the door. Kokichi did the same and met him by the front door. When he opened the door Kokichi moved his box inside and dropped it on the couch before he pulled Shuichi inside. "Shumaiii~ I'm tiiirrreeeddd!" He said, putting his arms around Shuichi's waist and nuzzling his head into Shuichi's shoulder. "But we should unpack your things first-" He said, getting cut off by Kokichi's finger on his mouth.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No! Naptime first!" Kokichi yelled with a frown closing his eyes to show Shuichi how much he needed a nap. Shuichi sighed knowing that Kokichi was almost more stubborn than him sometimes...sometimes. "Ok ok," Shuichi said, pausing to put the boxes on the floor in front of the couch. "You go ahead, I'll be up in a minute," He said waving to Kokichi to go upstairs. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kokichi already knew where Shuichi's room was. So he ran up the stairs and went into the room before plopping himself on the bed. Taking in all of the wonderful smells while cuddling into the soft blankets.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shuichi walked over to the open door and closed it, clicking the lock. He sighed and smiled to himself at how he couldn't stay mad at Kokichi very long...he just loved him too much. He looked over at the boxes and went over to at least take out all of the contents to organize them on the couch. "Shumai! Are you comiiinnnnggg!" Kokichi yelled from the bedroom making Shuichi blush at the sudden noise. He shook his head to regain his composure before walking up the stairs. "Yeah, I'm coming!" He yelled walking up the stairs. The room was usually pretty clean, but seeing as Kokichi was already in the room...you could tell he was in there...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He walked over to the side of the bed Kokichi was on and got under the covers behind him. He wrapped his arms around the smaller male making his gasp at the sudden contact, making Shuichi laugh into his hair. "So I see you finally came Shu~," Kokichi whispered into the blankets. "Yeah of course...I told you I was going to..." He whispered into Kokichi's hair making Kokichi giggle.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kokichi turned around so he could hug Shuichi. This made Shuichi gush at how cute he was. Shuichi can't think of anyone else that is like Kokichi. And he loves it. Kokichi is always super cute and childish, making Shuichi blush and laugh. Shuichi never had someone close to him before for fear of not being good enough for them...but with Kokichi all of those thoughts got pushed aside. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hey Shu," Kokichi whispered, bringing his face up so he could see Shuichi's eyes. "Yeah, what is it Kichi?" Shuichi said, moving one of his hands to cup his cheek while the other one rested on his waist. "Thank you..." Kokichi said, looking down with a small blush coming to his cheeks. Shuichi flushed at those words...Kokichi didn't genuinely say thank you...like ever...so whenever he has said it to Shuichi it always makes his heart burst.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Of course anything for my Kichi." Shuichi smiled. Contently pulling Kokichi into his chest letting his arms securely hold his waist. Kokichi let his hands go around his torso before whispering, "I love you, Shu..." Before he let his eyes close. "I love you too," Shuichi smiled and let his eyes close while he held Kokichi close.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>.  .  .</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They were both happy that they had moved in together. Shuichi knew this was going to take some adjusting. Kokichi knew that he was going to have to respect Shuichi's space. But overall they are both happy to now be living in the almost constant presence of the other.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>-I saw this picture and thought it would be so cute if I did one where they moved in together. I might do a part 2 of some other things I want to include in this story... but I'm not sure yet... I will try! Thanks for reading!-</b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>-ShuichiOuma010-</em>
  </b>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0046"><h2>46. Honest? {Angst}</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>Shuichi's POV </b>
  <b>
    <br/>
  </b>
  <span>"Kokichi you have to be honest with me!" He yelled at Kokichi who was sitting on the floor crying in a ball of tears. He had bruises and cuts all over his face from a fight...and he had some cuts on his arms from self-infliction...I hate that this happened while I could have done something to stop it...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm sorry! I shouldn't be yelling..." I gasped knowing that in this situation telling would be the last thing you should do...I walked over to him and slowly sat next to him and brought him into my arms petting his hair. "Sorry I didn't tell you...I didn't want you to get hurt." He whispered through his sobs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"But you got hurt! Kokichi I want to be able to help you. The last thing I want is you getting hurt..." I said hushing my voice so I didn't make him even more upset.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I-I'm s-so s-s-sorry Shuichi..." Kokichi said, pulling his knees closer to his face. "I shouldn't be here..." he said with another hiccup. "And I don't deserve you...at all..." He said whimpering. This broke my heart.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Kokichi, you deserve everything I can give you," I whispered, planting a kiss on his cheek letting my head rest on his shoulder. "And I love you...so I just want you to be honest with me..." I paused for a moment combing through his hair trying to calm him down. "So please...could you tell me what happened..." I said in a soothing tone trying to coax the answer out of him. He let out a few tears before more started to pour out of his eyes. I just held him until the sobs lessened and he took in a shaky breath.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"He was going to hurt you so I got in the way so I would get hurt instead!" He said letting more tears fall on his knees. I pulled his chin up so I could look at him. "Kokichi, I could have talked it out with him-" I started before he yelled, shutting his eyes closed. "BUT THE LAST THING I WANTED WAS FOR YOU TO GET HURT!!" He said his breathing became ragged. "I didn't want you to have to worry...I made him angry at you...so it was my fault." He sobbed turning to face me only to drop his face into my chest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I held him close to my chest and let my fingers tangle in his hair. "Kokichi...I'm sorry I made you worry this much about me..." I said trying to not make him angrier. I slowly moved my hands to his back and rubbed at the tense muscles. "It's alright...I should have told you..." He said with a shaky breath before he fell more into my touch. I heard soft breaths leave his soft lips while he relaxed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Kokichi, the only thing I want is for you to be honest with me," I said into his ear causing him to shudder. "Ok..." he whispered, sounding like he was chiding himself. "I mean it," I said, lifting his head to look into his eyes. "I love you so much and I don't want you to get hurt...in any way...especially from yourself," I said pausing to kiss his cheek. "I want you to be able to talk to me when you feel this way...I want you to trust me..." I said quietly trying not to sound so selfish.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I know Shu...it's just hard for me to be honest with anyone...especially myself...don't think that I don't trust you, because I do...more than you can imagine...I just have a hard time telling the full truth..." he sighed leaning into my hand that made its way to rest on his cheek. "I have been lying for so long...so it's hard for me to be-" He said but I cut him off by putting my lips to his.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I know and I'm so proud of how hard you are trying. But please...know that you can talk to me...about anything..." I said letting my lips hover over his. He shuddered and pulled me into a quick kiss before speaking. "I'm grateful that you are so amazing...and that you want to try and help me...but I know I can be pretty stubborn..." He said looking down. I let my hand caress his cheek and moved my forehead to rest against his. "I know, Kokichi, but I want you to know you can always come to me...and I would never think of judging you," I said with a small smile on my face. I wish that he would know how much I care about him...how much I love him...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm sorry that I let this happen again..." He spoke softly, letting his eyes close. "It's not your fault, I can see why you did what you did...and I hold nothing against you," I said softly pulling him into my lap. I know that he likes to be held and I know that he loves to sit on my lap. I like when we find the rare times we can do this as well. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Kokichi?" I asked, trying to keep my voice hushed. "Yeah, what is it?" He asked, moving his head slowly meeting my eyes. "Did you hurt yourself anywhere else?" I asked, letting my hand go to his wrist to gently rub the skin under his shirt. "N-no I didn't..." He said before he paused with a sigh. "Sorry again..." He said, sounding defeated. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It's ok, you don't have to apologize," I said, moving my chin to rest on top of his head. "..." He didn't say anything, he just let his breathing calm down. I wish he would be more honest with me...but I do know better than anyone why he lies in the first place. So many people have lied to him so to keep himself safe he feels like he has to lie to himself and others. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I sighed again and slowly moved him over to the bed. "Shuichi?" He asked with a small yawn. "I think we have both had a long day...so let's get some sleep," I said tiredly walking over to bed sliding in next to him. Almost immediately after I got in, he latched on to me. "Good night..." He whispered letting his puffy eyes close, exhausted from all the crying. I finally let the exhaustion take over. I wrapped my arms around him pulling him closer whispering good night in his ear before letting my eyes slide closed.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>-I have been trying to read more but again...school is taking most of my free time... Anyway, thanks for reading!-</b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>-ShuichiOuma010-</em>
  </b>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0047"><h2>47. Ocean {Fluff/Angst}</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>
    <em>Themes of Depression and attempted Suicide.</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Feeling the water surrounding my body. Floating away from the shore. Tired of trying. Tired of lying. I float away feeling the salt in my eyes. Making it seem like I had been crying. I hear you shout from the shore. Screaming. Pleading. For me to come back once more. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>"Kokichi!!" Shuichi screamed again. I was so far out in the cold, bitter water surrounding me. I felt weightless as my lungs felt so heavy it was too hard to breathe. He must be tired of me doing this all the time...Kokichi thought, finally letting his eyes slip closed, as another wave came over him. Blood was coming out of his nose from the abuse of the salty water on his face. Then it all went black. It was calming to him. Finally he could be done. He could leave it all behind.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>cough </em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>COUGH</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>cough</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>COUGH</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>COUGH</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <span>It burned. Pain radiated through his lungs. He groaned not wanting to open his eyes. He wanted to be done. Why can't he just be done? Every nerve in his body was screaming in pain. He wanted to cry and scream. He just wanted to go back to feeling nothing...to feeling peace.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Is everything alright?" Kaede asked worriedly. Shuichi looked up from where he was sitting next to Kokichi. "He tried to kill himself...I just wish he would have talked to me..." He sighed completely exhausted. Shuichi's eyes were red and puffy from crying, but he was too worried to care...Kokichi filled his thoughts. Was he not good enough? Should he have been doing more? Shuichi asked himself, feeling more guilt and shame resting on his heavy shoulders.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kaede walked over and sighed. "I'll ask Kirumi to bring him some fresh clothes..." She whispered, giving Shuichi's shoulder a supportive pat before leaving the room. Shuichi held onto Kokichi's hand. Wishing that he could have been better...for Kokichi...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He had been working more frequently. He didn't try to make time for Kokichi...he didn't try to give him what he needed. Kokichi always claimed that he was fine and he was ok with whatever Shuichi needed to do...but Shuichi had started seeing that he was lying...they went to the beach to take a break. Kaede and all of the killing game participants planned it. Shuichi dragged Kokichi there telling him it would be fun...Shuichi wished more than anything that Kokichi would have told him what was going on...talked to him about the pain he was feeling.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kokichi spent most of his time alone. He did when he was younger...so it was nothing new to him...he still silently wished that Shuichi would figure it out. That he would see how much pain he was in...he wished that he could just read his mind and know how to make everything feel ok...but he knew that this was impossible...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Kokichi...are you awake?" Shuichi asked. Kokichi flinched at the sadness coating his voice. He didn't want to have to open his eyes. He didn't want to see Shuichi sad... knowing that he was the cause of it. "Ngh..." He groaned trying to reach for Shuichi only to find his hands were numb and he could barely move them. Shuichi noticed this and grabbed his other hand. "I'm sorry..." Shuichi squeezed his hand trying his best to comfort him. Kokichi just squeezed his eyes shut.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It wasn't your...r...fault...it was mine," Kokichi whispered hoping Shuichi would give him some affection. He felt guilty for wanting this...he didn't want to make Shuichi have to touch him...his filthy self...Shuichi moved his lips to Kokichi's cheek. He placed soft, gentle kisses all over his face. "Kokichi, I should have given you more time... I should have been around you more..." Shuichi sighed clearly, chiding himself. Kokichi slowly moved his hand, choking down the groans as he moved. His hand cupped Shuichi's cheek slowly guiding his lips to his. Kokichi kissed him and Shuichi immediately kissed back. Shuichi could taste all the salt coating his lips. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shuichi slowly broke the kiss, keeping his lips close to his skin. Placing delicate kisses down his face and neck. Kokichi felt calmer with all the affection...but he was anxious when Shuichi pulled away. "Come...back" He croaked, not wanting him to leave. Shuichi quickly grabbed the clothes that Kaede had left on the chair moments before. "Sorry...I know you're cold..." He said, helping Kokichi out of his sopping wet clothes. Putting the warm dry ones on shortly after. Kokichi shuddered at the warmth. He didn't realize how cold he was. He was shaking. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Stay..." Kokichi whispered clutching onto Shuichi's shirt. Shuichi was sitting in front of him wrapping him in a warm blanket. "Ok." He replied slowly moving Kokichi so he was laying on the bed. He took a place next to him and wrapped his arms around him. "Hey, Kokichi...can you open your eyes?" Shuichi asked, hoping that Kokichi would look at him. The feelings of guilt only deepened when Kokichi shook his head. "Why not?" He asked again. Kokichi sighed and moved his hands to his cheeks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I don't want to open my eyes." He said putting his head into his chest taking in his scent. "Are you afraid?" Shuichi asked. He wasn't trying to sound like he was judging him. He wanted Kokichi to feel safe around him. He felt a frown come to his face knowing that this was all his fault. He didn't give Kokichi the attention he needed...he wasn't a good boyfriend...he wasn't even a good friend to him...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Shu...I know you are blaming yourself for this...but know it's not your fault..." He took in a shaky breath before letting his eyes slowly open. Shuichi smiled at him and kissed his forehead. Kokichi tried to make eye contact with Shuichi but couldn't for more than a few moments. "I want you to be able to talk to me...about all of these painful feelings...I'm always here for you to talk too...I know I was so busy before...but now I promise I will be better." Shuichi said, caressing Kokichi's cheeks feeling some tears fall out of his eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I just feel so disgusting...all the time...I feel so worthless because I feel this way..." He said quietly, moving his hands to Shuichi's back asking for closer contact. Shuichi smiled and pulled him closer into his chest and started to rub his back. "I know you probably won't believe me...but I don't think that...you are always there for me. You always make me happy, you tell the best jokes and I love it when we watch movies together because you always seem to make me laugh more than the movie does. I always love how much affection you give me and I love being able to give so much to you. I love you so much Kokichi." He said letting one of his hands move to caress his cheek and wipe the tears falling out of the smallers eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I love you too Shu...but I am sorry about all of this...I never meant to make you think it was your fault-" Kokichi started only to be cut off by Shuichi planting adoring kisses all over his face. "I love you." He said in between kisses making Kokichi blush. After almost 3 minutes of intense affection, Shuichi laid his head on the pillow next to Kokichi's.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I want to make you happy," Shuichi whispered into his hair. "I want to make you feel all the love I feel for you...but right now you should probably get some rest...you must be tired," Shuichi said, planting a kiss on his earlobe before resting his forehead against his. "Yeah...love you, my beloved..." Kokichi said before letting his eyes close again. "I love you too, my Kichi~" He cooed in Kokichi's ear. That was the last thing he heard before he let sleep take over his aching body...</span>
</p><p>
  <b>-I have a speech today after lunch...I don't want to do it...I already feel bad people have to listen to my annoying voice when I talk...now they have to listen to it for a whole speech...anyway, I shouldn't be complaining! Thanks for reading!-</b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>-ShuichiOuma010-</em>
  </b>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0048"><h2>48. Her {Angst}</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>
    <span>You pick her over me</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>You always choose others </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>You always put others before me</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I can't do this anymore</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>You were the only one that cared</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>The only one that saw me as a human</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Not just some person who everyone pitied </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>You were the only one that cared</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Or so I thought </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>When she came</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>When she came</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>It broke me</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>You were happier with her</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>You left me behind</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>You broke me and left me</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Just like everyone else</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>You are just like all the rest of them</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Only acknowledging me when you need me</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Only caring when it serves you</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Only giving a shit about me to keep your fucking reputation </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Burn in hell</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I fucking hate lairs</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>You always told me we were going to be friends</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Forever</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Forever and ever</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>But she went and took you from me</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>She took the only thing I had</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>The only thing I loved</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>The only one that cared</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>The only one I wanted to be with</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>The one who made life worth living</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>If I don't have you anymore </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>What's the point</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Of any of this </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>What's the point of living</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>What's the point</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I had nothing</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I have nothing</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>All because of her</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I'm so done</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>This was not fucking fun</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Hope she is what you wanted</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Because you chose her over me</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>So now it's time for me to leave</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>One final breath leaves my lips</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I loved you and craved for your kiss</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>She stole the first and will have the last</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>This night is going to be my last</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Goodbye my beloved</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>You were the one for me</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I hope your happy</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>-Thanks for reading!-</b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>-ShuichiOuma010-</em>
  </b>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0049"><h2>49. Her {Angst} [Part 2]</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>
    <em>T/W intense themes of hate, self hate, and suicide</em>
  </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I want to tell you one last thing</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I wished the best for you and me</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>It was all I ever thought about</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Whenever you promised forever</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Telling me you cared about me</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Talking me me as if I was the only one</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>The only one</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Well I guess I'm not longer the only one</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>She is your one and only</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Smiling and talking as you walk in front of me</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>It makes me sick</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Because I wanted that</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>More than anything</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I wanted you </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>You and me</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>To always be together </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Forever</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>But that's the funny thing about promises </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>They are made to break</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Most people break them </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Some don't</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>But I have never met the some</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I only know you</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>And sadly you are the majority </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Telling me all those lies</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Being false hope to my eyes</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>But you only wanted her</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>You always wanted her</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Messing with me because you were unsure</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Well I'm glad when I needed you most you found her</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I sit alone in my room for hours on end</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Waiting and waiting for you to text me again</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Like you always would </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Like I knew you would</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>But that all over now</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Because of her</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I need to get over you</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I need to get passed these stupid feelings I had for you</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I need to get rid of you</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I don't want to see you anymore</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>See the millions of post about you and her</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I want to just end my story here</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I know you would hate me for giving up</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>But now I know you won't be alone</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Because you have her to hold</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I don't have anyone anymore</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Except for the stars at night</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>The only things that watch over me while I'm up at night</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>The only thing that is always there for me</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>You lied to me</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>So why can't I lie in return</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Telling you I'm happy</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Smiling while inside all I want to do is give up</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Tell you about all these cool friends I have </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>When really I haven't left my house in months</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I only talk to you over text</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Always making things up when you want to hangout</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Because I know she is going to be there</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Holding you </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Like I wanted to hold you</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>She will be kissing you</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Like I wanted to kiss you</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>But you don't care do you</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>This probably doesn't mean anything to you anymore</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Because right now you probably have found out</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>That I'm no longer around</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Because Shuichi I gave up</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I'm dead</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>-Here is part two of Her! Requested by @SaltyKokichi ! I hope you enjoyed it! Thank you for the request!! Thank you all so much for reading!!-</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>-ShuichiOuma010-</em>
  </b>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0050"><h2>50. Her {Angst} [Part 3]</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>
    <em>T/W intense themes of depressions, loss, and suicide</em>
  </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>That day</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>The day I met Her</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>She was all I ever cared about </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>And now I regret it more than anything</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I always had my eyes on her and I never even bothered to give you a second glance</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I should have known</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I was the one person who could have noticed</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>If only I wasn't being a lovesick asshole</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I thought you were ok</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Always smiling when I saw you </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Always sounding so happy over the phone</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I assumed that you were happy and moving on from me</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>But I assumed wrong</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I didn't realize how much I hurt you</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I was supposed to be your best friend</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I was supposed to be better for you</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I was</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Not good enough for you</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I should have realized </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I should have known</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I had been the one you trusted more than anyone else</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>And yet</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I'm the one that ended your life</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>If I would have found out</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I could have realized what I was doing to you</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>If you just said something</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Kokichi</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Why did you do this?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>You could have told me </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>And you would still be here with me</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Smiling by my side as we go on walks</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Laughing as we go to swing on the swings</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Talking to me when you were feeling down</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Hugging me when I was drowning in my tears</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>But I never even realized how much you meant to me </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Until you were no longer here</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Me and Kaede broke up after you left</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>She was calling you weak for killing yourself</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Because you didn't move on when I did</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>But the thing is</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I'm more weak than you ever would be in my mind</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I never really moved on from you</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I was just so worried about putting the relationship we had in jeopardy</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>You were so much stronger than me</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Always smiling and helping others </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>When really you needed help with your own needs</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I looked up to you</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>More than I have to anyone else</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I can even say at one point I loved you</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>But I never knew what to say</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I tried to pretend I didn't have feelings for you</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Because I was so worried about what they would think</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>But now I regret that</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Knowing that you were the one I needed</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>You were always there for me </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>And I never was there for you</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Up until your bitter end</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Kokichi if you can hear this</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Know that I'm sorry</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Know that I'm sorry for breaking you</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>For grabbing your heart and throwing it on the ground</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>For leaving you when you needed me most</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>For not being there when I was the one who</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Who killed you</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Know that I'm sorry for all I did</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Know that all I want to do is see you again</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Even if it's just one more time</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Is that such a crime?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I know now that I love you more than anything</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>But I guess I should have told you that sooner</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>When your heat was still beating</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Know that I will never move on from you again</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Because I won't forget all the things you said</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Telling me how strong I was for holding on</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Always getting me out of my own head</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>But I guess now this is the end</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I wish I could tell you</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>That I really love you</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>And I won't give up on you</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Not even if someone comes into my life</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Not even if people are worried about my own life</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Because I should have paid more attention to you</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I should have listened to what you really wanted to say</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>But instead I shut you out</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Because I thought I was in love with her</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>But that was never the case</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>And now I'm going to live with this</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Up until my own bitter end</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>-This is the Requested next part because you all wanted to see Shuichi's reaction, so here all you go! Thank you so much for reading and I hope I did a good job with part 3!!-</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>-ShuichiOuma010-</em>
  </b>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0051"><h2>51. Not Good Enough {Angst}</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>
    <span>Am I not good enough for you</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Telling me all these things</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Making me think we're in love</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Just for you to leave</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>You're not dead</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>But it feels like you are no longer here</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>You started to act different</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Giving a shit about other people</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>You said you would be there for me</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Just for you to up and leave</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>You are such a bastard</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>You are the one that made me want to live</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Just to later deepen the feeling</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>The want to be dead</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>You are still fucking with my head</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Telling me you have time for me</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Well I don't care anymore</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Except that I do</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I wish I didn't feel this way</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I wish I didn't feel at all</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I don't want to do this anymore</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>This fake relationship </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>That used to be something</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>But maybe it wasn't and it was just a dream</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>That soon became a nightmare</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I guess you were right</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I was never good enough</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Not for you</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Not for anyone</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I should be dead</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I should have died</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>But you all wanted me to stay</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Only to make me slowly decay</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Slowly break myself down</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>So I wanted to die</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I wanted to cry</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>But the tears stopped coming</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Screaming and crying for someone to love me</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>But I guess that was just wishful thinking</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I should have let myself leave</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Why have I lived after all this time</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>11 tries</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>11 days were I cried</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>And tried to actually die</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I craved death</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I crave it even more now</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Knowing that the one thing </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>That I thought would stay the same</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Just changed</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Right before my eyes</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>It's not you </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>It's me</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I'm always filled with so much jealousy</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>But I know that I never deserved anyone</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Anything</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>This whole thing is probably my fault right</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Because you always seemed to make it look</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Like you never blamed me</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Never shamed me</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I know you were thinking it</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>But didn't want to make yourself look bad</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I know you just hung around me </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Because I made you feel like a god</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Always putting you before anything else</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>But you never did the same for me</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I should have known</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I should have never let you in</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I'm a worthless wad of flesh</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>So repulsive people pity my existence </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>People always pity me</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>They lie about caring</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Just like you</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I thought you were different</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>But I shouldn't expect someone different to help me</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Because I only deserve to decay</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I can't cut myself</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I can't paint my skin red</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Because I made a promise</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>That I would no longer want to be dead</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I would stop hurting myself</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>But because I can't </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I want to so much more</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Mental anguish </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Mental harassment </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Caused by myself</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I wish I could let this end </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I wish that we were never friends</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I wish I never got attached</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>To something I should have never had</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>To someone that didn't care about me</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>You lie all the time</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Telling me you care</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Telling me you will still be there</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>But that's all bullshit</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>You should go fuck with someone else</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Because I'm done </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Maybe it would be easier if you were no longer here </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Because you already act like I'm not</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>A ghost of past friends</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Maybe it's time for this "friendship" to end</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Sorry to disappoint you again</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>But you shouldn't care because</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>You are no longer my close friend</span>
  </em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0052"><h2>52. Marriage {Fluff}</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>Kokichi's POV</b>
  <b>
    <br/>
  </b>
  <span>I feel so happy but at the same time, I think I could throw up. I never thought this would happen. Shuichi would ask me to be his...forever...I smiled trying to suppress the tears coming to my eyes. No, I can't cry right now. I need to be strong for Shuichi. I walked out of the changing room in my white suit. It was a little loose on me, but I didn't complain because it's better to have it be loose than have it be tight. I laughed to myself at that last thought before I was pulled by the collar of my shirt.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What the-" I started only to be interrupted by Maki.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Kokichi, I may not like you but Shuichi is happy because of you...If you dare to mess up this day for him I will end you." She said death glaring at me, making me shiver.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I promise I would never want to hurt my beloved," I said in a teasing tone making her grimace. She let me go after giving me a look before turning the corner leaving me alone in the hallway. I sighed with relief. Why does everyone think I'm just joking about loving Shuichi? I mean I am a liar. But I know that this is true. I am hopelessly in love with him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I smiled to myself and walked down the hall. The whole ceremony was planned by Kaede and Tsumugi. I'm not sure how I feel about it...but Shuichi chose them for this...and out of everyone here, he is the only one I trust. So, best to not worry about it...but I want it to be perfect.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I groaned holding my head in my hands. Why is this so hard? I asked myself before raising my head to see Kaede standing in front of me. "Are you alright Kokichi?" She asked, putting a hand on my shoulder. "I feel nervous as hell...I don't want anything to go wrong. I want Shuichi to think that this was a good decision...not the worst mistake of his life..." I said moving my hands to my hair.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It's going to be ok!" She exclaimed, putting a hand on my shoulder. I looked up confused letting my hands fall to my sides. "How do you know?" I asked, making her laugh. "If anything you are doing better than Shuichi right now. He is still crying to Tsumugi, telling her how happy he is! So don't worry about it! We are going to make this a great day for both of you.” "I hope so.," I said under my breath. "Don't be so negative!! It's going to be great!" She said before going back to making preparations.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I hate how nervous I am. Yesterday it wasn't this bad. It was more manageable...but I guess I am just overthinking. This is going to be great! I get to be with my beloved...forever. I smiled to myself looking down at my hands. I felt a blush come to my face. I didn't try to suppress it because no one was in the hallway. Shuichi is nervous too? He is always overwhelming himself over nothing...but I guess he is just as nervously happy as I am.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Kokichi!! It's time!" Kaede yelled, walking over to me and grabbing my arm. I followed her to the chapel where me and Shuichi were going to be married. I blushed at the thought. "You can do this." She said with a smile. She must have felt my hands shaking... I smiled back at her and walked into the chapel.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>All of our friends were there. Most of the people were already in tears. I felt a little awkward walking down the aisle, but then I saw Shuichi. He was absolutely beautiful. I tried to keep my mouth from dropping. He had a beautiful dress. Kaede made him wear it because she decided that since I was wearing a suit...he should wear a dress. So, she made Shuichi wear a dress. It's not like I haven't seen him in a dress before...but this one was absolutely gorgeous. I saw a blush cover his face over the one he already had.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When I got down the aisle after a few moments of walking I took my spot next to Shuichi. "Alright! You already know the drill!" Tsumugi said with a small laugh making the audience laugh a bit too. I was just silently hoping that I wouldn't burst into tears.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Shuichi and Kokichi are brought here together to be bound together in marriage. Thank you all for coming to this occasion." She said bowing her head. After a brief moment, she raised her head again. "It's time for the vows. Kokichi you start." I felt my heart stop. I didn't feel like pulling out the paper I had prepared earlier, so I took his hands in mine with a smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Shuichi Saihara, my best friend, my boyfriend, and soon to be my husband. I love you so much and I'm so glad that today I get to make that clear to you and everybody else." Some laughs came from the audience. "You have always been there for me. To talk to me, care about me, and love me. I want to be the best I can be for you because you are perfect to me. I love you, Shu." I said kissing his hand, making more tears fall out of his eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Shuichi," Tsumugi said, making Shuichi bring both of my hands to his chest. "Kokichi Ouma, I love everything about you. You can always make me happy, make me laugh when I'm not in the best place. You have been so kind to me even though my job doesn't let me give you a lot of my time. You still care about me after all this time, you still love me. I feel like this is a great dream, but I'm glad you are here with me." He said before letting himself cry again, making some tears come to my eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Kokichi Ouma do you take Shuichi Saihara as your husband?" Tsumugi asked, making me blush. "Yes," I said, trying to keep my voice from shaking. I don't know what it is, but I feel so nervous that my legs might be shaking. "Shuichi Saihara do you take Kokichi Ouma as your husband?" She asked making Shuichi cry more before calming down to respond. "Yes!" He said putting his hand on my shoulder. I feel short being like this...why is he so tall?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Then you may now kiss the groom!" She exclaimed. Shuichi moved his hands to my neck and pulled me closer to him. I placed my lips on his and closed my eyes. I knew people were cheering but at the moment it was so quiet. The only thing I could hear was Shuichi's breathing. It was so calm. Until reality came back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Everyone was cheering and standing. I smiled and held Shuichi's hand in mine. We will be together forever. "I love you, Shu," I whispered. "I love you to Kichi." He said booping my nose, making me blush.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Forever together, </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Death could never make us part</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <b>-Sorry for writing so much angst in the past couple of days... I wanted to give you some wholesome fluff for the weekend. Thanks for reading!-</b>
</p><p>
  <b>-</b>
  <b>
    <em>ShuichiOuma010</em>
  </b>
  <b>-</b>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0053"><h2>53. I Love you so Much That I Hate You {Fluff}</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>
    <span>Is it easier to stay? Is it easier to go?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <b>Kokichi's POV</b>
  <b>
    <br/>
  </b>
  <span>I don't know if it's better if I stay with you or if I'm better on my own. You have been giving me these weird feelings...I always feel too flustered to be around you. Too flustered to talk. Too nervous that my words would fail me...</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I don't wanna know, oh</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>I don't know why I always feel like this around you. It's only you. I can hang around anyone else and I never feel like I do when I'm around you. I know I tease you all the time and sometimes I make you mad at me...but it's all because I really can't control myself around you and I don't know and I don't wanna know why I always act like this around you.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>But I know that I'm never, ever gonna change</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>You are the only one who didn't try and make me change. I can't change anyway...I have tried so many times to be better for you...better for everyone...but I'm stubborn and it would take a long time and a lot of effort for me to change.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>And you know you don't want it any other way</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>I know you don't want me to have to change for anyone. You are always telling me how much you love my personality. I know that we are always going to be friends...friends...I wanted us to be something more...but this is the best it will get...</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Why do we always gotta run away?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Whenever I try to get closer to you...you always push me away and ignore me for weeks...is it something wrong with me? Is there some reason I'm not good enough for you?</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>And we wind up in the same place</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>But we always get back into this never-ending cycle of getting so close to being something else...then getting pushed away and isolated again. You always hang out with Kaito and I can't say that I don't feel jealous every single time I see him making you laugh. I wish I could just bring myself to come and tell you how I feel...but I guess that's not what I was meant to do...</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>It's like we're looking for the same thing</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>When Kaito and you got into that argument...you came to me...I comforted you as best as I could...you cried a lot...telling me that it was your fault that he was mad at you...making me even madder at the damn dumbass...I hated seeing you so sad...from being around that dumbass...</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Same thing, yeah</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>I told you all of the things I felt. I told you how great you were. How amazing you are in my eyes. You played it off like it was something a friend would tell another friend. I wanted to tell you then...but knew that I should have taken advantage of your vulnerable state.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Yeah, do we really gotta do this now?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>All the times we cuddled on the couch in your house watching the show that you always love to watch. I only wanted to have you close to me...I never paid any attention to the video on screen...only on your warmth next to me and the sound of your laughter and the softness of your quiet voice.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Right here with all your friends around</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>I always tried to make it obvious...the way I felt about you. Calling you my beloved, telling you that you were my favorite out of everyone, hugging you. I loved making you blush. I loved knowing that I was the one who caused that.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>In the morning, we can work it out</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>"Shumai~," I called out after Shuichi. "Y-yeah, Kokichi?" You said as I walked up and stopped when I was by your side. "I love you, my beloved."</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Work it out</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>"You're lying r-right?" You asked making my heartbreak. I tried to put on the best smile I could. Wanting to be happy that I was your friend...happy that no one would ever want to be anything more than friends with me. "Yeah! Of course Shumai!" I exclaimed before running off again. I heard you yell my name from behind me...but I didn't care...I didn't want to have to deal with this...in front of you.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I love you so much that I hate you</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>I stayed in my dorm room for the next week or so. Rantaro was the only one I allowed to see me. I didn't want to see Shuichi...I hated myself for loving him...I hated him for making me fall for him.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Right now, it's so hard to blame you</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>"Kokichi...maybe it's time for you to move on...I hate having to see you like this." Rantaro said sitting beside me on my bed. "I know...but I just can't." I said, feeling tears coming to my eyes. "I just wish that I didn't love him...or that he would love me as much as I love him...but I know that is never going to happen..." I said letting my tears fall on my lap.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>'Cause you're so damn beautiful</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Rantaro didn't say anything he just rubbed my back as I cried. All the memories I had with Shuichi came across my mind. The first time I met him...when we found out we went to the same school...when we became friends...</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>You're so damn beautiful</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>I can't get you out of my head. Your beautiful personality, your beautiful eyes, your voice, your laugh, your blush. I cried harder letting my hands ball into fists over my eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Is it easier to stay? Is it easier to go?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Should I just let you go? Would that make it easier for me? Would that make all of this hurt less? I don't think I would be able to see you anymore...cause every time I would see you...it would just remind me of how much I love you...</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I don't wanna know, oh</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>I don't want to...I want to be around you...I don't think I can live without you. "Kokichi, have you confessed to him?" Rantaro asked as my tears and sobs lessened. "Yes." I said with a hiccup. "You really did? I heard from Kaito that you said it was a joke after Shuichi thought you were lying..." Rantaro said quietly.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>But I know that I'm never, ever gonna change</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>"It was just easier to pretend it was a joke...he would have rejected me..." I said looking down again letting my hands go into my hair. "You don't know that for certain," Rantaro said, putting his hand on my shoulder. "Maybe you should try to confess to him again." He said, smiling at me. "Ok." I said, pulling out my phone.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>And you know that you're always gonna stay the same</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>I texted you like I always do...there were so many messages from you wondering if I was sick. I frowned to myself. 'Hey, can I talk to you?' I texted nervously tapping the screen waiting for a response. 'Yeah.' He texted moments later.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Is it easier to stay? Is it easier to go?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>'I will meet you at the cafe by the school at 4.' I said looking over at Rantaro who gave me a nod. I hit send and closed my phone throwing it on the bed. I got up and cleaned myself up from being in my room crying for a week...Rantaro got up and wished me luck before he left my dorm.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I don't wanna know, oh</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>After taking a shower and changing into fresh clothes I walked back over to my phone. 'I will see you then' 'Thanks for talking to me again Kokichi' He texted making me flush. This is really going to happen?! I felt my breathing increase. I don't think I'm ready for this...</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>But I know that I'm never, ever gonna change</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>After a while of freaking out I finally decided I was ready...to an extent...I looked over at the clock. 3:50 pm. I took a deep breath. I can do this.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>And you know you don't want it any other way</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>I shakily made my way to the cafe feeling my nerves getting more shot as I walked. Doubt and self-deprecating thoughts started to fill my mind. Maybe this is a lost cause...maybe he will hate me...maybe it would have been better if he never met me...</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Every time that you say you're gonna leave</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>I don't want to leave you. I don't want to hate you. But I know that this might kill me. It will hurt me...to know that you hate me for how much I love you.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>That's when you get the very best of me</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>I waited a block away from the cafe having a panic attack. I sat down on the cement behind the corner of a building and let myself cry for the 20th time today.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>You know we need it like the air we breathe</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>I want this to be over. I wish I could just get this over with. I wish that this would be easier.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Air we breathe, yeah</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>I put my hands over my ears. Wanting to shut all the screams out. Trying to shut out all the worries. Trying to forget how much this could hurt me. Wanting you to find me here and hold me in your arms.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I love you so much that I hate you (Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>My phone buzzed making me jump. I slowly pulled it out of my pocket and saw a message from Rantaro on the front screen. 'You need to do this Kokichi, don't chicken out! I wish you the best of luck!!'</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Right now, it's so hard to blame you (Oh)</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>I smiled to myself knowing how well Rantaro knew me. Brushing it off I quickly opened the message. 'Thanks Rantaro.' I texted right before a message from Shuichi popped on my screen.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>'Cause you're so damn beautiful (Oh)</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>I froze. 'Kokichi, I'm here. Where are you?' He texted making me pale. I looked over at the clock. The time was 4:08 already...</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>You're so damn beautiful (Oh-oh, oh-oh)</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>'Sorry for making you wait! I'm almost there!' I texted. I got up holding onto the wall hoping I would be able to walk there without falling. My legs were shaking so much and I didn't blame them.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Is it easier to stay? Is it easier to go?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>I started walking down the block feeling my anxiety become more apparent as I got closer to the cafe.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I don't wanna know, oh</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>I don't want to feel like this. I feel like my stomach is eating itself. I feel so sick...</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>But I know that I'm never, ever gonna change</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>I finally got to the entrance and saw Shuichi sitting at a table staring at his phone. I took a deep breath and opened the door.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>And you know that you're always gonna stay the same</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>I walked over to the table and gave the best smile I could muster. "Hey, Kokichi." Shuichi said gesturing for me to sit down. I grabbed the chair and sat down.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Is it easier to stay? Is it easier to go?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>"So what did you need to tell me?" Shuichi said. He always gets right to the point...</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I don't wanna know, oh (I don't wanna know)</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well I wanted to...uh..." I stuttered. I couldn't form any words. I felt a blush come to my face.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>But I know that I'm never, ever gonna change</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>"Kokichi, are you alright?" Shuichi asked, taking my hand in his. My blush increased. I can't do this. I can't do this. I can't do this.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>And you know you don't want it any other way</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>My mind was screaming at me to run and go back to hide in my room. Go back to where I was safe. From all of this...I wanted to leave. I want to leave. I don't want to be having this conversation with him right now...</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>The hardest part of all</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>I took in a shaky breath trying to give him a reassuring smile. "I'm alright Shuichi," I said, making the sick feeling I was trying to suppress double.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Is that we're only built to fall</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>"I wanted to tell you..." that I love you. I tried to say...but the words never came out. Why can't I just say it? Saying things like this without being able to say it's a lie afterwards...makes it so much harder...</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>(Is it any easier?)</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Is it easier to stay? Is it easier to go?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>"Kokichi, it's alright if you don't want to tell me..." He said looking to the side defeated. I shook my head and took a shaky deep breath.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I don't wanna know, oh (Oh-oh)</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>"I wanted to tell you that I love you!" I exclaimed closing my eyes already feeling the tears falling out of them.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>But I know that I'm never, ever gonna change</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>"I have for a long time and wanted to tell you...but never found the right time...or the right words to tell you..." I whispered under my breath hoping that he didn't hear...while my heart wanted him to listen to every word I said.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>And you know that you're always gonna stay the same (Is it easier?)</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>"Kokichi I-" He started but I cut him off. "I wanted to tell you because I needed to tell you...no matter what you say...I needed to tell you..." I said feeling more tears come out of my eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Is it easier to stay? Is it easier to go? (Yeah)</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>"When I confessed the other day...I wasn't lying to you!" I yelled making him jump. His eyes went wide.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I don't wanna know, oh (Oh)</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>"I wanted to tell you, but knowing me I lied...like I always do," I said letting my voice get softer...not wanting to admit any of these things to him.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>But I know that I'm never, ever gonna change</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>"I know you probably don't feel the same way." I paused feeling sweat coating my hands. "That's fine, I just wanted to tell you that...because I feel like you should know." I said looking back at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>And you know you don't want it any other way</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>"Shuichi?" I asked, touching his hand. I tried to study his face and only could make out concern and confusion. Maybe that was a bad way of phrasing it.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I love you so much that I hate you (Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He didn't say anything he just stared at me with a blank expression. I felt my anxiety skyrocket. I nervously fidgeted with my hands in my lap. I tried to count in my head trying to calm myself down.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>1</span>
</p><p>
  <span>2</span>
</p><p>
  <span>3</span>
</p><p>
  <span>4</span>
</p><p>
  <span>5</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I felt my hands shake more.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Right now, it's so hard to blame you</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>I felt tears pricking at my eyes. Your silence was almost too painful. I know I messed up. I know I shouldn't have tried. I know this was a mistake. "I'm sorry-" I started only to be cut off by Shuichi pulling me into an embrace.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>'Cause you're so damn beautiful</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>You hold onto me like I'm the only thing you can see. Holding me close to your chest like you just have been reunited with a past friend. You pulled back and held my face in your hands. "I love you too." You said before I felt your lips on mine. I let myself smile and wrap my arms around your neck. I'm glad I made it to this moment. I'm glad I met you Shuichi.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I love you</span>
</p><p>
  <b>-Here is another [Songfic] I did the song Easier by 5SOS. I really like this song and think that it would be good to write into a songfic... sorry if this isn't the best writing... Thanks for reading-</b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>-ShuichiOuma010-</em>
  </b>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0054"><h2>54. What's With the sad Face? {Fluff/Angst}</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Shuichi didn't know what to think anymore. Everyone he had cared about, anyone he was considering being friends with...was taken from him. They were all killed so brutally...and he couldn't help but think it was his fault. It was becoming harder to sleep harder to eat...he barely even had enough energy to come out of his room in the morning.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Shuichi~," Kokichi said joyfully walking over to the table Shuichi was sitting at. He groggily looked up at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Man you really look like shit Shuichi," Kaito said walking behind Kokichi and sitting down next to Shuichi placing a supportive hand on his shoulder.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah sorry...I didn't get that much sleep last night..." He said looking back down at his full plate of food. He knew he wasn't going to eat any of it because anytime he ate anything it reminded him of all the times he ate with Kaede and all the times Kirumi made them all breakfast and dinner. A tear slid down his cheek and fell onto the table.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Are you ok?" Maki said with a disconcerted tone. Shuichi just got up and left the room ignoring all of their questions and comments. He just didn't want to have to listen to this today. Or any day for that matter. He hated feeling like he needed help from other people. Hates being a burden on other people.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He locked himself in his room. Sliding down the door frame and folding his knees with his arms. Slumping his head into his knees he finally let the tears he was trying so hard to hide fall down his face. Shaking and sobbing for what seemed like forever. Wishing someone would come to help him while at the same time wishing for no one to care.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He didn't want to make someone else have to care for him. Make them have to watch him cry. Make them listen to his worries and fears. Making them have to care about him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Useless and unloved is all he felt as more tears stained his cheeks. He didn't want to have to do anything. He didn't want to cry, he didn't want to feel. He longingly looked to the side table before shaking his head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No" he whispered to himself. "You can't." He put his hands over his ears sinking into his knees. "I never wanted this." He paused with a hiccup. "I never wanted-" He was cut off by a knock on the door.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The room went silent. Anxiety rose, worried that the person on the other side of the door heard his pitiful cries.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Saihara-Chan?" It was Kokichi on the other side of the door. Shuichi jumped at the noise. The calming sound of his voice. He wanted to go and answer the door. Talk to him. Hug him. But he held himself in place shaking uncontrollably.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Saihara-Chan?" He asked again with another small knock. Shuichi felt sick with anxiety clouding his thoughts. "If you don't say anything I'm going to come in and get you. Because you could be dead for all I know..." He whispered the last part too quietly for Shuichi to hear.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shuichi jumped and hit his head on the wall. His hand shot to his mouth to muffle the groans. He had to do something. Something to get Kokichi to stay away. He knew it was selfish that he wanted him to come in and comfort him. But he can't have it because he doesn't deserve it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The lock clicked and the door slowly started to open. Shuichi shrunk in the corner behind his bed. Hoping that he wouldn't find him. "Saihara-Chan?" He asked, making Shuichi's breath hitch. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He started to move closer to where Shuichi was after he closed the door and locked it. Shuichi's heart stopped. What is he going to do? What is he going to do if he finds me?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Saihara-Chan. Are you doing alright?" Kokichi asked, making Shuichi gasp. The gasp was muffled by his hand clenched over his mouth. Kokichi took Shuichi's hand in his own intertwining their fingers together. Shuichi looked up at him confused. "I noticed that you were off today." He breathed, moving to sit next to Shuichi.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"This whole thing isn't easy for any of us...but I think that you have the worst of it." He said, looking at Shuichi, who was too scared to meet his gaze. "It's ok to feel this way..." he put his arm around his shoulders and pulled his head onto his shoulder. "If you didn't it would be weird. This whole game is trying to get us to give in and break down to the point where we would kill to get out..." He whispered, his voice hushed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shuichi looked over at him confused by the words he was saying. He never expected Kokichi to be so empathetic. "Know that you are so strong for making it this far. And helping all of us through the trials. You are the reason that our classmates are still here." Shuichi felt his headrest on top of his own making him blush. Shuichi was confused. Confused why Kokichi came to his room. Confused why he cared so much about someone like him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I wanted to thank you for all you have done for me and the other students in this hell." He said taking Shuichi's other hand in his and resting them on his lap. "So thank you." He whispered letting silence fill the room once again. Except for this time, it wasn't a painful silence. One that crushed you with your thoughts. It was a silence that was warm and adoring.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shuichi felt safe. For the first time in this killing game, he felt safe. Happy that Kokichi was there next to him. "T-Thank you Kokichi." He whispered tears slowly coming to a stop.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kokichi moved in front of him and pulled him into a hug. "You don't have to deal with all of this on your own you know." He said into Shuichi's ear. "I can help you just like you always help me."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shuichi didn't say anything. He just wrapped his arms around Kokichi's small frame and let himself be held. It was nice to know that someone else wanted to help him. Nice to know he had someone else he could rely on.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Thank you Kokichi.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <b>-I will try and update Vampire Kisses today and maybe Can we Make It as well. Thanks for being patient with me! Thanks for reading!-</b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>-ShuichiOuma010-</em>
  </b>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0055"><h2>55. Sad Ouma-Kun {Fluff/Angst}</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Shuichi and Kokichi have been close friends ever since Kaede had gotten executed...Kokichi was always making sure that Shuichi was happy. He would always make jokes and give him hugs and distract him the best he could so he wouldn't have to be sad about the situation they were in. Shuichi was always grateful that Kokichi was always making sure that he was happy... </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But...because Kokichi was always making sure that his beloved was happy it was easy for him to forget about his own needs and feelings. He found it harder to fall asleep at night, harder to smile, harder to laugh. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>One day he just couldn't pretend anymore so he stayed in his room and told Shuichi not to bother him because he was sick. Shuichi left him alone, but every minute that he was away from him he couldn't help but worry that maybe he lied...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shuichi went and walked up to Kirumi. "Hey, how is he doing?" Kirumi looked over at him with a blank expression before giving the door to Kokichi's room a side glance. "He just needs some rest. He should be better soon." She walked away from him leaving him alone in front of Kokichi's dorm.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I hope you are going to be ok..." He whispered, placing his hand on the door. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Because I love you.</span>
  </em>
  <span> He wanted to say the words, but they never left his mouth. He sighed and walked into his dorm room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>.  .  .</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kokichi was laying on his bed. The room was dark, but not as dark as the thoughts clouding over him. The overwhelming feelings of loneliness and worthlessness came down onto him. He felt like he was suffocating. It was hard to breathe. He felt so sick and tired. All he wanted was to give up. Not have to do this anymore. Any of it...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He stared at the ceiling for what seemed like forever until Kirumi came into the room again. "How are you feeling?" She asked although she already knew the answer. Kokichi didn't respond, he only squeezed his eyes shut. "I see." She paused walking over to his bed setting a water bottle and some food on the table next to him. "You should eat something." She gestured to the food and water. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kokichi stayed silent. "Shuichi asked me if you were doing alright a little while ago." She kneeled next to the bed. "He cares about you a lot. So if you won't eat something for yourself. Eat something so you can get better for him." Kokichi turned around in his bed so his back was facing her. She sighed. "Just think about it." Kirumi left the room as quietly as she came.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kokichi was again left alone in the darkness of his thoughts. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Should I end this? Does Shuichi care about me? Why would he? Maybe it's because I'm always helping him...I guess that is the only value I have to him...to anyone.</span>
  </em>
  <span> He sighed and put his hands up to his eyes. He felt sick, worthless, and unloved. Tears came to his eyes again. Soon streaming down his face. He was done. He wanted to be done.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>.  .  .</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kokichi thought about what Kirumi said. He groggily stood up from his bed and walked into the bathroom. Looking into the mirror he could see his ruffled hair and the bags under his eyes. To put it nicely he looked like shit. He sighed and walked over to the shower and decided that he was going to get cleaned up so Shuichi wouldn't have to worry...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He couldn't think of anything other than the immense pain he would have to go through when he left his room. He would have to pretend again. To keep Shuichi happy. His eyes went down to his hands. He opened and closed them finding it hard to believe any of this was real. Was he the one moving his hands? Who was he? What was he doing here?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Pushing those thoughts aside he finished his shower and got dressed. He slipped his clothes on and went back to grab the towel to dry his hair. His arms and legs felt numb...but he knew he had to do this...not for himself...but for Shuichi...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>.  .  .</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shuichi couldn't calm himself down. </span>
  <em>
    <span>What if Kokichi isn't sick? What if that was a lie and he doesn't want to- </span>
  </em>
  <span>He cut himself off not wanting to think about how it might be all his fault for not noticing that Kokichi was </span>
  <em>
    <span>NOT</span>
  </em>
  <span> ok.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A sigh left his lips. He brought his hands to his eyes as he fell back onto his bed. </span>
  <em>
    <span>What if he doesn't want to talk to me anymore? I was so rude to him...we were friends and had fun together all the time...but I should have been better for him. He is suffering and I should have known...</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Tears came to his eyes soon starting to stream down his face. He cried for an hour or so, feeling so helpless before he realized that he needed to go and see Kokichi. Even if he was just sick Shuichi still hadn't visited him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Walking slowly over to his room Shuichi felt himself grow nervous. Which was weird...he never felt nervous to talk to Kokichi. He felt comfortable around him and always loved to be around him...but this time was different. He needed to tell him how he felt and he needed to help him in whatever way he could. Because that is what Kokichi did for him every day. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shuichi didn't know if Kokichi knew how much he appreciated everything he did for him. He didn't know if he ever told him thank you...he knew better than anything he should have given Kokichi what he was giving him...he should have been a better friend to him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He knocked on the door feeling his heart stop. </span>
  <em>
    <span>What if he doesn't answer the door? What if it is already too late? </span>
  </em>
  <span>Shuichi started to panic. His hands were shaking and his breath was becoming quick and ragged. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Saihara-Chan?" Kokichi opened the door. He looked confused seeing Shuichi standing outside of his door. Honestly, he thought it was going to be Kirumi...but even then he was wondering why she would have even bothered knocking on the door. Shuichi didn't say anything, he just pulled Kokichi into a hug. Holding onto him so tightly Kokichi thought he wouldn't be able to breathe if he held on any tighter.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kokichi slowly moved into his room, still holding onto Shuichi before closing the door. "Are you alright Saihara-chan?" He asked concern consuming any of the other dark thoughts circling his mind. "No, because you are not ok Ouma-Kun." He said, pulling away from the embrace. Kokichi could now clearly see that Shuichi had been crying and was still crying. He felt guilty that he had been worried about him...and that he made him worry so much making him cry.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm sorry Saihara-chan..." He whispered moving over to his bed. Shuichi sat against the bedframe and pulled Kokichi into his lap holding onto his waist. "I want you to tell me what is going on...don't say nothing is wrong or everything is fine. Because I know it's not...I should have been a better friend to you. I should have realized that you were not ok...I shouldn't have been so focused on myself that I didn't even consider your feelings. So I should be sorry." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kokichi was stunned when he heard these words. Not knowing how to react he just turned around and hugged Shuichi burying his head into his neck. "I'm sorry too...for not being honest with you. I love you Saihara-chan...and I didn't want to tell you and make you feel awkward if you didn't feel the same-"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shuichi's lips collided with Kokichi’s making him gasp. It took him a few moments to process what just happened, but soon after he kissed back. They kissed for a long moment. Telling the other all the feelings they left unsaid.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I don't want you to be sad Ouma-kun.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Because I love you.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <b>-I get my math test back today...I get to see how bad I failed...welp, my spring break is next week so I will be updating more often. Thanks for reading!-</b>
  
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>-ShuichiOuma010-</em>
  </b>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0056"><h2>56. Sad Saihara-Chan {Fluff/Angst}</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>"Shuichi~," Kokichi said, running up behind Shuichi and hugging his torso making Shuichi jump. "Kokichi?! What are you doing?" He asked trying his hardest not to stutter. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I just wanted to give my beloved a hug!" He exclaimed before he lowered his hands and put his head on Shuichi's back. "Is that so wrong?" He said quietly making Shuichi turn around quickly to make sure he didn't offend him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No, it's ok! I was just wondering!" He gasped, putting his hands on Kokichi's shoulders. "Just kidding!" He yelled, making Shuichi flinch before he relaxed and smile. "Kokichi..." He sighed and shook his head. "Well, you are my favorite, but maybe that was a lie~," He said before he walked out of the room leaving Shuichi alone in the hallway.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"..." Shuichi just stood there in silence. He unconsciously felt his hands move to where Kokichi’s were moments ago. Loneliness was the only thing that he felt. Whenever Kokichi wasn't around him he felt unbearably lonely. He thought it was just because he was always making fun of him and toying with his feelings...but it was something more than that... </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He walked back to his dorm feeling physically and mentally exhausted. He was tired all the time. The anxiety of the killing game...and his confusing feelings for Kokichi always filling his thoughts. Wondering if he liked him back...wondering if Kokichi liked him as much as he liked Kokichi...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He groaned and threw himself on his bed holding his pillow close to his face. Face inflamed, he couldn't think of anything other than Kokichi...why is this happening? His body was screaming at him. Telling him Kokichi is a liar and a thief...but Shuichi knew deep down that this little lying thief stole his heart.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tears spilling over his eyes, running down his cheeks, chasing each other only to fall into his lap. Helpless. Weak. Lovesick. He didn't know what he was feeling...wondering why this was happening to him? Why is this happening to him now?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Kokichi, why do you make me feel this way?" He asked his ceiling. I Wished for a moment that it was Kokichi. Wishing that he was here with him. Wanting his hands to be around him again. Wanting to hold him and tell him all the things he was feeling. He pulled his pillow to his chest wanting more than anything for it to be Kokichi. Kokichi next to him holding him and petting his head telling him it was going to be alright.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But he knew that he could never do that...because Kokichi was a liar...and he didn't mean any of it. "Why can't you love me like I love you!" He yelled, getting cut off by his sobs. He sobbed letting all of these feelings and emotions just overflow. Each painful emotion he was feeling was flowing out of his eyes. Rivers soon turned into waterfalls. Letting out all of this pain and loneliness left him feeling more exhausted with every passing moment. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>More sobs along with millions of tears. All because of the overwhelming pain of not being able to say the things he wanted to say. Be with the person he wanted to be with. Not being able to be with Kokichi... "I can't </span>
  <b>hic </b>
  <span>do this </span>
  <b>hic </b>
  <span>anymore </span>
  <b>hic</b>
  <span> Kokichi." He let his eyes slip closed. His grip on the pillow loosened and he let the exhaustion consume him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Too tired to do anything. The darkness consumed his thoughts. Silence was all he could hear. Piercing through his ears cutting into his heart...but he didn't care anymore...sleep sounded so nice...staying awake was too exhausting...small hiccups and sobs left his mouth every once and a while as he was drifting off to sleep.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>.  .  .</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kaito and Maki were looking for Shuichi so they could do their training together. They checked the library and asked around. But every place they checked, he wasn't there. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>On their way to the dorm rooms, they heard soft hiccuping. "I'll go see what's going on," Maki said, leaving Kaito alone in the courtyard. "Alright, Maki," Kaito just stood there while Maki disappeared into the dormitory.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She saw that Shuichi's door was open a crack, curious and worried she walked slowly over to his door. Pushing it open slowly she saw he was in his bed holding onto a pillow. This wasn't something new to Maki. She had come into his room multiple times before when he was so sad he cried himself to sleep. She sighed and walked over to him wondering what made him cry this time.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Shuichi..." She asked hoping he would wake up and tell her what happened. Shuichi just shuffled around in his bed moving closer to the pillow in front of his face. "Shuichi you need to get up..." She whispered, patting his shoulder.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Ko...Kokichi..." He mumbled into the pillow making her sigh. She knew he must have cried himself to sleep because Kokichi was toying with his feelings again...Maki left the room slowly closing the door behind her. She knew what she had to do...find Kokichi.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>.  .  .</span>
</p><p>
  <span>While Maki was walking around the school asking around to find Kokichi she realized. She doesn't like Kokichi that much...she doesn't hate him...but she just hates the way he toys with Shuichi. Knowing that Shuichi liked Kokichi before he wouldn’t admit it...it still hurt Shuichi a lot when he would toy with his feelings.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Kokichi!" Maki yelled at him on her way back to the Dormitory. Kaito and Kokichi were talking, well, more like arguing...but that doesn't matter. "Oh, Maki came to find me~? I'm so touched!" He teased making her tense even more.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She grabbed his scarf and pulled him into the dormitory. "What? Maki?!" Kokichi yelled startled by the action. Maki sighed and pointed to Shuichi's dorm room. Kokichi looked confused before he heard a small sniffle come out of the crack of the door. "What?" He asked only to get a glare from Maki. She pointed over to the door and pushed him towards it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He put the pieces together and walked into the room. Kokichi walked over to the bed and sat next to Shuichi who was still fast asleep. He was still sniffling and hiccuping now and then. Kokichi realized that Shuichi had cried himself to sleep. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Kokichi...Ko..kichi..." He whispered, turning around and grabbing at Kokichi's shirt making him blush. "Shuichi?" He asked as Shuichi pulled him down onto the bed next to him instantly clinging onto him. Kokichi didn't say anything as he felt his face flush. He was worried if he made any movement he would wake him up and he knew more than anyone how much Shuichi needed sleep. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kokichi took a liking to Shuichi when they first met and as they got to know each other he found that he came to love him. He wrapped his arms around Shuichi and whispered sweet nothings into his ear making him calm down. The sniffling stopped and soon all you could hear was his soft breathing. Kokichi smiled and rested his head on his hair. "I love you Shuichi..." He whispered, kissing his forehead.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Ko-Kokichi?!" Shuichi yelped. He jumped face instantly inflaming when he saw Kokichi was next to him. "It's alright Shuichi." He whispered holding his head closer to his chest. "So you love me too?...sorry for the way I acted before...I was just worried you didn't feel the same way." He said quietly. Shuichi felt his heart stop. Kokichi loved him? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Before either of them could even process it Kokichi's lips crashed onto Shuichi's. Shuichi blushed even more if that was even possible at this point...Kokichi closed his eyes and moved his hands to play with the base of Shuichi's hair. Shuichi let his arms move around his hips pulling him closer.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I guess I am a dumbass!" Kokichi exclaimed, making Shuichi laugh. "You are just so cute~," He pulled him closer and snuggled into his chest. Shuichi didn't bother responding, he just let himself feel happy. Content that this thief has stolen his heart, while he now holds him as the greatest treasure.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>-I didn't fail my test! Anyway, Wednesday is when he is coming...I don't know what is going to happen...I will be posting again today if I can...Thanks for reading!-</b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>-ShuichiOuma010-</em>
  </b>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0057"><h2>57. Airplane {Fluff}</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Shuichi was terrified of heights. He hated going up to high places. Hated having to look down. Hated how his mind always made him imagine himself falling from said height. He hated it, especially airplanes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kokichi and him were going on a trip because Kokichi wanted to get out of the apartment and do something fun with his beloved. Shuichi only said he would because Kokichi was so excited about the trip. He knew that they would have to take a plane...he was not looking forward to it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Every day that the day came closer he just felt sicker and sicker. His anxiety made him feel so dizzy and made him have an immense headache. Kokichi was noticing this because, for one, he was Shuichi's boyfriend, and two, he knew better than anyone how Shuichi reacted when he got anxious.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"ShuShu are you doing alright?" Kokichi asked, snaking his arm around Shuichi's waist as they boarded the plane. "Y-yeah, I'm alright." Shuichi tried to sound as convincing as he could, but the stutter at the beginning did not help...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kokichi decided not to keep pressuring him to tell him something that he already knew. They went to go and take their seats. Kokichi requested to have the window seat days prior and Shuichi was more than happy to give it to him. If anything he didn't want to look out the window at all...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Please buckle your seat belts and make sure your tables are secured against the seat in front of you. Enjoy your flight." The lady announced one final time before the plane started moving.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shuichi felt his anxiety skyrocket. Could they crash? Would this be the last time he would see Kokichi? Is this going to be the last time he can see him laugh and smile? "Shu..." Kokichi whispered, putting the armrest between them up so he could get closer to Shuichi. "It's ok if you're scared." He soothed putting his arms around him and leaning his head on his chest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kokichi knew that Shuichi felt safe when he did this. Whenever they had to go to the hospital or something he would always feel anxious while they were waiting. So, Kokichi, being the amazing boyfriend he is, he held onto him until it was time. Shuichi loved it when he did this, although he would never acknowledge it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It's going to be alright, I'm right here baby. You're safe with me. It's ok...It's ok. I love you." He whispered sweet nothings into his ear making him relax.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tears had already started pouring down his cheeks. The plane was going faster preparing to take off. Shuichi clutched onto Kokichi. Kokichi felt kind of guilty for making Shuichi feel so anxious...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm sorry for making you scared Shu." Kokichi moved his hand to wipe Shuichi's tears. "It's alright." Kokichi smiled and pulled Shuichi's head onto his shoulder and let his hand comb through his hair. He could feel how much Shuichi was shaking. But he smiled to himself when the shaking started to lessen.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The plane had finally taken off and Shuichi had calmed down, to an extent...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Breathe, baby you have to breathe." Shuichi felt better as the air started to fill his lungs. His hiccups and sobs calmed down. All you could hear from him was his soft and slow breathing. "You did so well sweetheart. I'm so proud of you." Kokichi took Shuichi's head in his hands and kissed him. "I love you so much. Next time just tell me, ok?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kokichi pulled away slightly so he could see Shuichi's face. Shuichi's eyes were all red from crying and he noticed the bags under his eyes. They must have been because he couldn't sleep, seeing as he was too worried about the flight.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shuichi's eyes fluttered closed and he slumped against Kokichi. He chuckled slightly at how cute Shuichi was. "Get some rest, love." He said, placing one final kiss on his forehead. "I love you." Whispering into his ear made Shuichi unconsciously relax hearing the words.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kokichi smiled and let himself relax next to Shuichi. The flight was going to be 13 hours so it's good that Shuichi had already fallen asleep.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He pulled out his phone looking through the pictures of him and Shuichi. He felt a small blush come across his cheeks. Wondering how he got so lucky to have Shuichi in his life.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He looked at Shuichi's sleeping face letting his hand trace his features. His eyes, cheeks, lips. They were all so beautiful. He snuggled up to him loving the precious male sitting next to him. "Goodnight Shu~," He whispered before he let himself fall asleep next to his beloved Shuichi.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>.  .  .</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They woke up right before the flight ended. Kokichi woke up first and smiled seeing Shuichi had moved so he could hold him in his arms. He slowly brought his hand to Shuichi's face and caressed the soft skin. "Shu-Chan~ you need to wake up. The flight is almost over." Shuichi shuffled next to him and with a groan he opened his eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He moved his hand to rub his eyes. "Morning Kokichi." He whispered letting his head fall into Kokichi's shoulder, taking in his scent. "Shuichi, do you feel better now?" He asked, making Shuichi slowly raise his head to look him in the eyes. "Yeah, thanks for earlier Kokichi." Kokichi blushed and smiled. "Of course. I'm glad I could help." He grabbed Shuichi's hand in his and gave it a squeeze.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"We still have to land, my beloved." He said making Shuichi pale and tighten his grip on his hand. "O-oh..." he said nervously. Kokichi laughed slightly and gave Shuichi a hug before the plane started to lower.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It's ok Shu, it's almost over." Kokichi rubbed his thumb over Shuichi's tense fingers. They softened their grip for a moment before clenching again as the plane landed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shuichi closed his eyes feeling afraid all over again. Why did he let this happen? "Shushu, you can open your eyes now." Kokichi placed his hand on Shuichi's cheek as he slowly opened his eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You did it Shumai!" Kokichi exclaimed, hugging his boyfriend. Shuichi hugs him back, holding onto him tighter. Kokichi giggled again before they grabbed their bags and left the plane.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Look at my Shumai! He is so brave!!" Kokichi exclaimed, clinging onto Shuichi. "S-Shut u-up."</span>
</p><p>
  <b>-Here is the one shot I meant to post yesterday... sorry for not posting yesterday... I wanted to write this one-shot because I was going on a plane the next day. But I wrote it on the plane instead... Thanks for reading!-</b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>-ShuichiOuma010-</em>
  </b>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0058"><h2>58. My R {Angst}</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>
    <em>Heavy themes of Suicide and depression. This is a warning </em>
  </b>
  <span>⚠️</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Shuichi's POV</b>
  <b>
    <br/>
  </b>
  <span>I walked up to the roof once again. So many dark thoughts fill my head. Can't think of any reason why I can't be dead. Until I opened the door again. There was a boy with purple hair. I just stood and stared. Not knowing what to do, worried of what I was about to see, he was here just like me. He climbed on the metal bar. About to fall so far.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hey, don't do it please!" I screamed at the top of my lungs. I didn't know what else to say cause I couldn't care either way. I felt drawn to the purple boy. Standing there up on the bar. Tears falling down his pale face, falling down without a trace.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Why shouldn't I!" He yelled back annoyed. I could tell he didn't want to see me there. This short boy with purple hair. I moved before I could think, grabbing his arm and pulling him back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"They all hate me! They wanted to kill me, so why should I continue on, if all of them want me gone!?" I held him close, not wanting him to go. I'm not sure what I'm feeling. Why do I feel like he knows me?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I came up here same as you. Wanting to jump off the bar, not wanting all these scars." I spoke the truth, wanting nothing but him there, the beautiful boy with purple hair.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I never wanted any of this! Tired of all the yelling, tired of never telling!! I wish I could just die, and defend up to the sky, but just like you, I want to go, so why do you hold me so!?" I pulled back to look him in the eyes to see the pain and sorrow underneath. I felt tears of my own, start to fall to make my cheeks wet and cold.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I just wanted someone to care for me...screaming and begging I would be happy." I wanted him to know, how much I felt this pain. I wanted him to remember my name. He was the boy at school every day. Laughing and holding so carefree, I would have never guessed he would be like me. Messed up in the head with pain and hurt, wanting nothing but to go away, wanting nothing but to decay.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You were one of them! Remember all your friends, they are the ones who want me dead, so why are you stopping me again!?" More tears rolled down his cheeks. He looked down at his feet. I grabbed his chin so he could see my face, eyes filled with truth and honesty.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I always wanted to be your friend. I actually cared a lot for you, wanting to hold you and be true. To myself, so you see, I just want you to love me." I kissed his cheek wanting him to feel unique. He was so special to me, but they always kept me away from him, keeping me close and distancing, him so far away from me.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Why are you saying this!? I'm not the one you should be with...you have so much potential, I would just drag you down to hell!!" He pushed me away, making me blush and feel angry.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"And that's where you're wrong you see, I'm just as you can be, this is why I love you so, so please stay here and please don't go." I put my hand out to him, holding his shoulder soft and thin. I felt so worried about this boy in front of me.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You say you love me...but what do you mean?" He looked up at me confused by the words said by me. Wishing he would believe me, is this too crazy to see?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I wanna be with you for eternity, I'm glad I made it here, so I could keep you here." Holding his soft hands in mine, feeling my face become darker with time passing, feeling like crying.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I don't know what you mean? How could you want to be with me!? You sound insane you see! No one should ever love someone like me!!" He looked at me like I was insane you see. I cried again and screamed at him, all of the things I had been holding in.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Because I wanted someone to listen to me! I used to be so happy and free! Until they all ignored me, and I had to suffer alone, cuts and bruises caused in my home, I never wanted to die alone!! So I came up here so you see, just to find someone like me!!" His expression softened and he held me instead.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Please don't do this, cause we can be happy and free! Just take my hand and come with me. We can go somewhere to be happy." I whispered in his ear hoping he would hear.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Why do you care so fucking much?! I have too many cuts, no one should ever love me, just like they always tell me!!" He sounded sad and pained like me, I didn't want this to happen to anyone but me. He put his head on my chest leaning against me making me flush, wanting nothing but to blush.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"But that's not true. Come and see. I want to love you and be free." My voice sounded too quiet, making me want to scream. I wanted him to know how this love could help us grow.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"If you say that this is true. I guess I can love you too." He then looked up at me, moving closer to me. Putting his lips against my own, I closed my eyes and pulled him close. Moments passed and I felt happy, finally feeling alive and free.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I love you Kokichi," I whispered against his hair, the beautiful purple hair.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I love you too Shuichi." He said to me, making me so happy. We walked down the stairs, holding hands without a care. Finally, I can be free from all these burdens put on me.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Thank you for living,"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Thank you for being here for me,"</span>
</p><p>
  <b>-I have watched at least 5 My R animatics in the past hour... I really liked it and thought it was beautiful artwork, so I made this, sorry if I rhymed too much... Thanks for reading!-</b>
</p><p>
  <b>-</b>
  <b>
    <em>ShuichiOuma010-</em>
  </b>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0059"><h2>59. Party {Fluff}</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Kaede has been planning a party for all the students of Hope’s Peak that had participated in the killing game. Shuichi didn't really want to go, but he heard that Kokichi was going so he told Kaede that he would be there. Kokichi was always hanging out with Rantaro or Kiibo and Shuichi didn't get to be around him a lot...so any opportunity to be able to be around him he took it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shuichi has always liked Kokichi ever since he came to Hope's Peak, but he was never able to tell him. Kaito and Maki always tried to encourage him in their own way, although they didn't like Kokichi very much...they saw how happy Shuichi was because of him. So they wanted to get them together so Shuichi would be happy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kokichi and Rantaro were more on the popular side of the social status at school...while Shuichi was more invisible. He didn't like having to talk to others or open himself up. He was always worried that they would become bored of him and leave him alone...because he wasn't good enough for them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kokichi, on the other hand, hated being considered popular, he liked hanging out with Rantaro and always being able to tease Kiibo...but he just didn't like how people always wanted to hang out with him just because he was 'popular' This irritated him and Rantaro knew that better than anyone. So when Kaede came and asked them if they wanted to come to the party he was about to refuse before Rantaro butted in and told her they would both be there.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>.   .   .</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"But Rantaro! I don't want to have to go! Couldn't we just go to your house and play video games or something that would be way more fun than some dumb party?!" Kokichi exclaimed, waving his arms around. Rantaro laughed at him as he puffed his cheeks out at him, clearly annoyed... </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What if I told you that Kiibo heard that Shuichi was going to be there?" He paused seeing Kokichi's face become noticeably redder. "Would that change your mind?" Rantaro teased playfully, raising his eyebrows at Kokichi. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Maybe...but that doesn't mean anything!!" Kokichi yelled quickly, suppressing his blush. "Alright, Kokichi, I believe you. It's not like you make it so obvious that you like Shuichi~, that can't possibly be it~," He rustled Kokichi's hair. Kokichi jumped and backed away from him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Rantaro! It's not that obvious!!" Kokichi yelled, turning his head to the side. "Yet you don't deny it~," Rantaro winked at him patting his head. Kokichi huffed and walked away from Rantaro.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Damn that avocado head!" Kokichi muttered to himself, clenching his fist. "Y-yeah Kaede...I'll be there at the party ok..." He looked over to the C-1 lockers and saw Kaede smiling at Shuichi.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"That's great Shuichi!! You need to open yourself up to people! Stop avoiding people so much." Kaede patted Shuichi's shoulder making him flinch. He was blushing only because he was embarrassed. Kokichi couldn't help but feel a twinge of jealousy. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I-I got it Kaede!" He yelped before she pulled him into a quick hug before leaving. Kokichi was frowning wishing that he was the one that just hugged him instead of her. He shrugged the jealous feeling off of his shoulders and walked over to Shuichi.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hey, Shu~," He cooed in his ear. Shuichi's face inflamed in seconds and he jumped back. This gave off the wrong vibe to Kokichi, but this happened a lot seeing as Shuichi is very jumpy. "H-hello K-Kokichi." Shuichi regained his composure and faced Kokichi. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hey, ShuShu~! I noticed that you are going to Kaede's party~," He said grabbing Shuichi's hands playfully. Shuichi looked to the side embarrassed about his reasoning for wanting to go to the party. "Y-yeah...are you going to be there?" He asked looking back at Kokichi. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kokichi had a slight blush come to his cheeks. "Yeah, of course, my beloved Shu-Chan~," Kokichi booped his nose smiling at him. "Hey, Shu, If you want to come to the party with me and Rantaro we can come and pick you up?" Kokichi asked silently hoping he would accept. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Y-Yes! That would be nice..." Shuichi said, shying away from his answer. Kokichi found this absolutely adorable. "Ok! I'm looking forward to it then, my beloved Shumai!" Kokichi waved to him before skipping down the hallway.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rantaro pulled him into a teasing hug. "I saw what you did back there~, You love the ultimate detective-" Kokichi put his hands over his mouth. "He might have heard you!" Kokichi whisper yelled at Rantaro. He smirked at him and took his hand off of his mouth. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"But, then you guys will finally stop this constant pining..." Rantaro groaned, putting his head onto Kokichi. Kokichi gasped from the statement and grumbled saying that it wasn't true...although it was...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rantaro let him get away with this for the time being and they walked to class. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>.   .   .</span>
</p><p>
  <span>School was a pain for both of them...it always was, but that's not the point. They were both equally anxious and excited for the party. Rantaro had been pressuring Kokichi to just confess to Shuichi...eventually Kokichi gave in and told him that he would. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kokichi felt nervous...more nervous than he has been in his entire life and he has been chased by the police before because of some trouble he and DICE get in...most of the time. Shuichi was also nervous because he knew that Kaede knew about his feelings for Kokichi. He was worried that she would have told him by now...or was going to tell him at the party...while he was with them...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The bell rang signaling it was finally time for them to leave. "Kokichi, you ready to finally end all the constant pining between you and your beloved~," Kokichi was already fed up with Rantaro for today. "I guess, but you can't call him by that! Only I can!" Kokichi yelled, making Rantaro only laugh harder.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You should go and get ready! We only have 30 minutes!" Rantaro yelled from outside Kokichi's door. "I'm coming! You dumbass!" He yelled before coming opening the door. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rantaro was just wearing his usual clothes while Kokichi got dressed up. He was wearing an 'it's a lie' sweater with a white jacket that had a checkered pattern on the inside as well as the collar and the bottom. He had black skinny jeans that were ripped at the knees along with grey lace-up boots up to his calves. He completed the look with his scarf before leaving the room with Rantaro.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Shuichi's dorm was just down the hall right?" Rantaro asked. Kokichi blushed knowing that he knew that he knew the way to his dorm by heart. He hadn't ever been in his dorm room, but he did know where it was because he always would walk by it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah, it's just over there, room 25B," Kokichi said shyly before he walked in front of Rantaro. He ran up to the door and knocked on it excitedly. Rantaro snickered from behind him and Kokichi just ignored him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hey, Kokichi," Shuichi said shyly, opening the door. He was wearing a blue turtleneck sweater with a dark grey jacket. He had black skinny jeans on and had some black high tops on. Kokichi blushed and tried to hide his blush with his hand. "Hello, Shuichi, are you ready to go?" Rantaro asked as Shuichi walked out of his dorm, closing the door behind him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah, t-thanks for driving me..." He said, sounding guilty. "It's my pleasure!" Rantaro said, opening the door for him and Kokichi to hop into the back. Usually, Kokichi would sit in the front, but knowing Shuichi was coming with them he wanted to sit next to him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They all drove to Kaede's house having a conversation about school. Mostly just funny things that have happened to Kokichi and Rantaro because they were so popular. They got around more often and knew more people so they had more stories to tell. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kokichi was slightly disappointed seeing how quiet Shuichi was being...but he didn't want to nag him about it. "Here we are!" Rantaro said parking the car. After exiting the car they all walked up to the front door of Kaede's house, although it was more like a mansion...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You two have fun!" Kaede said, taking Rantaro's arm leading him to their group of friends. Kokichi groaned knowing that she did that because she must have been working with Rantaro...he was going to give him hell for this later. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"So, do you want to dance with me?" He asked walking with Shuichi over to the dance floor. There was some space close to the corner. Kokichi thought this was a good pick seeing how socially anxious Shuichi was. Shuichi was grateful for this but was too shy to thank him...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Here just put your hand on my waist and I'll put mine on your shoulder like this." Shuichi cutely followed his instructions making Kokichi blush. "Then all we do is hold our hands together while we slowly walk in circles," Kokichi said looking up at Shuichi who was still avoiding eye contact. Kokichi knew it was because of how many people were there...but it still hurt him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Thanks for this, Kokichi," Shuichi whispered, pulling Kokichi closer to him. His hands went down to his waist and Kokichi's arms moved up to wrap around his neck. "Of course, Shu," Kokichi said in a hushed tone. A slow dance was playing in the background. From out of the corner of his eye he could see Rantaro and Kaede give him a thumbs up. He sighed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kokichi pulled back slightly and looked into Shuichi's eyes. A faster pop song started to play and Kokichi felt the nervousness come back over him. Shuichi tried to turn away only to be stopped by Kokichi's hand on his cheek. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Shuichi, I have wanted to tell you for some time that...uh," He paused, hating how nervous he sounded. He looked back up to see Shuichi smiling down at him before he continued, "I love you Shuichi Saihara!" Kokichi yelled over the music. He put his head down as a blush consumed his face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You don't have to feel the same-" Kokichi was cut off by Shuichi pulling him into a hug. "I love you too Kokichi, that's the only reason I wanted to come to this party...I wanted to see you," Shuichi whispered into Kokichi's ear. He shuddered when he felt his hot breath hit his ear. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Shuichi?" Kokichi questioned. He was wondering how the hell someone as socially anxious and nervous as Shuichi fell for him. "Here, let's go somewhere else..." He said, pulling Kokichi by his hand. He led him out the back door into the field behind the house.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Shuichi, I like you, I have for a long time...and I wanted to ask you if you wanted to be my boyfriend?" He asked, still feeling vulnerable and scared. "Yes, Kokichi," He paused to cup Kokichi's cheek with his hand. "I would be honored." He said before pulling Kokichi into a kiss. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kokichi's eyes widened as he was mentally freaking out because fucking Shuichi Saihara kissed him! He kissed back after his moment of freaking out passed. Shuichi wrapped his arms back around Kokichi's waist and Kokichi moved his hands to Shuichi's hair. This confirmed his and Rantaro's theory that his hair was super soft. It was so soft even when the kiss ended Kokichi's hands never left his hair.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Kokichi why are you petting my hair?" Shuichi asked with a small blush on his cheeks. "Because it's so soft and because I love my beautiful boyfriend who has unfairly soft hair!" Shuichi laughed and put his hands on Kokichi's cheeks. "I love you," He said before they shared another kiss.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kokichi and Shuichi will always remember the time Kaede and Rantaro pushed them together. They were both grateful for this...although Kokichi will always be playfully bitter when Rantaro teases him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>.   .   .</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"We did it!" Kaede said, giving Rantaro a high five. "Do you think Kokichi will still be mad at me? For basically forcing him to confess?" Rantaro questioned. "How did you get him to? I have been trying for weeks!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rantaro laughed and looked over at her. "I told him if he didn't I wouldn't let him buy any more Panta," Kaede and Rantaro burst into laughter. "That's hilarious!" "I know," They both looked over to the new couple holding each other while they rocked back and forth. "It was totally worth it though."</span>
</p><p>
  <b>-I laughed while I was writing the end. Kokichi can't be Panta deficient!! Thanks for reading!-</b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>-ShuichiOuma010-</em>
  </b>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0060"><h2>60. All the Lies [SongFic] {Fluff}</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>
    <em>We were gonna go to Paris</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>We were gonna get tattoos</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Shuichi</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Promises...they are made to lovers, friends, acquaintances. It gives you a sense of security, it lets you have a sense of trust with the other person. Kokichi Ouma, my boyfriend, my lover...sometimes I wonder if he was really being genuine, when he told me all the silly promises we made to each other.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Told my mama I would marry you</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Started building a foundation</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <span>Whenever I try and bring up forever you just avoid talking about it. I know you are afraid of getting attached to people...but I want to be able to show you that I am trustworthy. I want you to be able to be around me and not feel like one wrong thing you say could break this all apart.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Me, you from the ground straight up</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>We built our walls so strong no one got through</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <span>After some time passed you trusted me more and started to open up to me. We told each other everything. From secrets to daily events that took place. No one else would come as close to either of us as we were to each other. We loved each other and it was the best decision in my life when I trusted a liar.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>You tell me all the things I wanna hear</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>When I'm gone, you say you want me near</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <span>We were so close, we moved in together and would always spend all of our free time with one another. You always hugged me telling me how much you love me. I loved all the little quirks you had...all the cuddles and kisses. They were all pure bliss and I was so happy with you.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>You look me in the eyes, say that we will stay for life</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>These feelings that we caught won't disappear</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <span>You would always look at me like I was the only person you saw. This made my heart burst. When I got to wake up next to you every morning, seeing your rustled hair and tired expression. It made me love you even more with every passing day.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Of all the lies I heard</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>"I love you" was my favorite</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Kokichi</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>When you tell me you love me, sometimes I find it hard to believe. I can see when others are not being honest with themselves...but with you, I can't tell. It makes me feel nervous. I feel butterflies in my stomach when you look at me when you touch me when you hold me. I have never felt love before, but I'm starting to believe that love is what I feel with you.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>I know goodbyes, they hurt</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>I need to hear you say it</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <span>Whenever you had to leave for work it got hard for me to not feel lonely. I'm so happy for you...because you had a job you loved. But I can't say that I hated it when we had to be apart...</span>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>One time before I go, whisper it slow</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Of all the lies I heard</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <span>You told me you loved me before you left. It made me feel safe right before the door closed. I didn't have much to do because I still didn't have a job...mostly because of my problem with authority...but you always tell me that if I don't want to get one that I don't have to. You are the only one that doesn't pressure me to do things that I don't want to. That makes me love you so much.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>"I love you" was my favorite</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Oh-oh-oh, say it slow</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Oh-oh-oh, say it</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <span>How kind and polite you are. Your cute blush and your angelic voice. You make me feel so calm when you are near. More than anything I want to be with you all the time...but I know that you have other things you need to do. I do love how you manage to somehow put me before anything else.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>"I love you" was my favorite</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Oh-oh-oh, say it slow</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Oh-oh-oh, say it</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <span>All the times we went out together, you always would take us to the prettiest fields of flowers. The smell was so sweet and having you there made it so much sweeter. The next day after the first time I told you how much I loved flowers you planted flowers at any windowsill we had. I laughed so hard because of how cheesy you were being. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"</span>
  </em>
  <b>
    <em>I love you" was my favorite</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <span>You always were the only one who could make me genuinely smile. Making me feel happy. Making me want to be happy. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Y</span>
  </em>
  <b>
    <em>ou told me you and him were good friends</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Known him since you've been at school</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Shuichi</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>You always went out with dice when I wasn't home and I can't say I wasn't jealous. You told me that they were just your subordinates...and I wanted to believe you, but I can't help feeling jealous...</span>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Told me I was overthinking like I do</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>You said I didn't need to worry</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <span>You are so perfect that sometimes I don't feel good enough for you. You always smother me in affection when I start self-deprecating myself. It makes me feel better to have you there to rationalize my overthinking.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>We'd get along 'cause he's so cool</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Girl, you must've thought I was some kind of fool</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <span>Always trying to get me to hand out with you guys. I always told you it was because I was anxious to be around other people...that was mostly true...but there was always the little jealousy when I saw you laughing around them.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>You tell me all the things I wanna hear</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>When I'm gone, you say you want me near</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <span>Telling me that when you're with them it's different than when you are with me. It made me feel good when you told me that I was the only one that could make you genuinely smile. From then on I noticed that you smiled differently around them and acted a bit differently around others. It made me smile knowing that I got to see your soft side when others couldn't</span>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>You look me in the eyes, say that we will stay for life</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>These feelings that we caught won't disappear</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Kokichi</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>I find it so cute how insecure you can be and I love how I get to give you all the affection you deserve. You are always so nervous and shy when it comes to giving affection but at times like these you just let me give you affection and you give me it in return.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Of all the lies I heard</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>"I love you" was my favorite</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <span>I convinced you to stop wearing that hat so I could see your beautiful face. You don't wear it around the house anymore and you always let me take your hands off of your face when you get flustered. The first time you initiated the kiss when I confessed to you made me swoon. You were so confident and I love when that side of you shows sometimes.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>I know goodbyes, they hurt</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>I need to hear you say it</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <span>You told me how lonely you felt when I left, it made me feel sad. I wanted you to feel happy even when there were some times we had to be apart. I also felt very happy that I wasn't the only one who was feeling lonely when we had to be apart.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>One time before I go, whisper it slow</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Of all the lies I heard</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <span>Every weekend, every morning, and whenever else we can be together I feel so much love. I love it when we get to have dinner together and when you get to let me help you cook. I'm not the best in the kitchen and I am still amazed at how good you are at cooking. You always wrap your arms around my waist when you are watching me and making sure I don't burn the house down.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>"I love you" was my favorite</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Oh-oh-oh, say it slow</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Oh-oh-oh, say it</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Shuichi</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>I love you so much. Sometimes I feel sad when you tell me you are scared to make this last forever...sacred of being committed. I always hug you and pet your hair telling you it's alright if you aren't ready. I know you know that it makes me feel this way...but I will still support you no matter what you decide.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>"I love you" was my favorite</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Oh-oh-oh, say it slow</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Oh-oh-oh, say it</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <span>Kaede and Rantaro are always teasing you about how flustered they can make you when they mention me. I think you are so cute when you are flustered...although I don't get to see it as much because I'm the one who is almost constantly flustered.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>"I love you" was my favorite</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Of all the lies I heard</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <span>I'm happy that I was the one you chose to get close to. If I'm being honest I was relieved when you confessed to me. I was so worried that you and Rantaro were not just friends. You giggled with that cute laugh of yours and told me that he was like a brother to you. Relieved, I leaned down and kissed you, feeling so content when you kissed me back.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>"I love you" was my favorite</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Kokichi</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>It's not that I don't want to get married...I'm just worried that that would make you change your mind about me. I know that this probably won't happen...but I always feel so worried that someone, anyone better than me could come and take you away from me.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>I know goodbyes, they hurt</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>I need to hear you say it</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <span>I still haven't found the courage to tell you these feelings...but I love how much you support me no matter what. I have never had anyone who has cared about me as much as you have and I want us to be forever...I just don't know how to tell you.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>One time before I go, whisper it slow</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Of all the lies I heard</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Shuichi</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>You thought it was so cute that I kept a notebook where I wrote down all of my thoughts and feelings. I felt so nervous you would laugh at me when I first showed it to you...but you just held me in your arms and kissed me all over my face.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>"I love you" was my favorite</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Kokichi</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>I loved when you told me about your notebook and trusted me enough to be that vulnerable that's when I decided.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>.   .   .</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Shuichi!" Kokichi yelled running down the stairs in his home clothes. He was wearing his scarf with an oversized shirt with shorty shorts and socks...well one on one of his feet anyway...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah Kichi?" Shuichi turned around and wrapped his arms around Kokichi when he walked into the living room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Let's get married!" He yelled closing his eyes with a blush on his face. Shuichi was shocked and took a moment to process what he just said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Are you sure?" Shuichi said looking at him concerned.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yes! I want to be with my Shuichi forever...and I finally wanted this for you and me...I want to be with you forever Shu!" Kokichi exclaimed burying his head into Shuichi's chest. Shuichi laughed at how cute he was being.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I would love to!" He pulled Kokichi's chin and kissed him. Kokichi smiled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>'</span>
  <em>
    <span>I'm glad my beloved helped me be able to have the courage'</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>'Thank you, Shu'</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <b>-Sorry for being so dead in this one-shot book...I have been trying to finish my book 'If you Could Take his Place' So I have been updating that...I will try to update again next week! Thanks for being patient with me! Thank you so much for reading!-</b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>-ShuichiOuma010-</em>
  </b>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0061"><h2>61. Done {Angst}</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>
    <em>T/W: Intense themes of depression, suicide, and self-harm. This is a warning.</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <span>"I just want to be done!" Kokichi yelled in the empty room. Holding his hands to his eyes and his body was shaking.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I don't want to do this anymore!!" He screamed again throwing his head into his arms. Shuichi has been gone for longer than he told him he was going to be...Kokichi couldn't stand it. The loneliness was too much.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Please come back! I don't want to do this without you!!" He clenched his hands tighter around his arms. Tears blurring his vision. It was probably around 1 or 2 am but Kokichi was to on edge to care.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kokichi stood up feeling exhausted for crying for about 2 to 3 hours...he wobbly walked down the stairs to the dining room. He eyes the knives in the holder in the kitchen.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"This will make you feel better...I don't want Shuichi to have to care about me..." Kokichi said walking emotionlessly over to the knives. He grabbed the smallest one in his hand and lifted his sleeve.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"He doesn't have to know..." He whispered as his eyes went blank. His arm moved on his own and he started making cuts on both of his arms.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Cut</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Cut</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Cut</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He cut himself maybe 20 times or more on both arms when the knife dropped out of his hand. He felt to the ground resting his back against the cupboard. He felt empty...nothing seemed to phase him...the wounds that were dripping with blood didn't make him feel anything...he went from feeling all of his painful emotions to wondering why he felt like this...did nothing matter anymore...why was he crying before? Did that matter?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He sat there blankly staring at the wall before his arms moved again. He started scratching at his cuts trying to get himself to feel something...but he didn't feel anything...still.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Why can't I feel this? Did I break myself?" He felt nervous before the feeling came back to emptiness...he wanted to cry but he couldn't force the tears to come out. His chest felt empty and he wanted something...someone to come and make him feel something again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He stared coldly at the wall feeling his eyes shut closed...they opened and closed a couple of times before he heard the door open.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Kokichi?" Shuichi asked wondering why the light was on in the kitchen. He slowly made his way towards the light. He was confused because Kokichi doesn't like to cook...so why would he be in the kitchen?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shuichi shook off the nervous feeling and walked into the kitchen...what he saw...was what he was nervous about. Kokichi hasn't had an episode for a while...but maybe that's why he was so quiet when he hand to leave...he should have noticed...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Kokichi!" He yelled walking over to Kokichi who was still just staring at the wall. His shirt and pants were covered in blood and tears. Shuichi felt so guilty...he should have never been gone for so long.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Can you hear me? Baby? Kichi?" He tried to use the nicknames he knew Kokichi felt the safest hearing. Although Kokichi never told him to his face...he just knew. Shuichi was in tears feeling his neck to find his pulse. He felt his heart beating and it made him sigh in relief.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Shu...ichi..." Kokichi whispered his eyes starting to slide closed. "You need to stay awake ok?" Shuichi said pulling him into his arms. He gave him a quick hug before he got up and quickly grabbed a first aid kit. He rushed back to Kokichi's side and felt even more broken when he saw all of his wounds.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Kokichi, I'm so sorry for being gone so long...why didn't you call me?" He asked feeling tears coming to his eyes again. Kokichi lazily looked up at him while he cleaned his wounds.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Sorry, this might hurt a bit..." Shuichi whispered. Kokichi didn't flinch...because he wasn't feeling anything...he wasn't even sure if he was still awake.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It wasn't your fault..." Kokichi rasped before he coughed. Shuichi gave him a gentle kiss on his forehead. "You don't have to say anything." He said cupping his cheek for a moment before he went back to bandaging his wounds. The cuts weren't that deep...most could them anyway. The scratching did make them wider than they would have been...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They stayed in silence while Shuichi finished bandaging the wounds. He sighed and pulled out his phone to call Mikan. "Hey Mikan, sorry for calling this late..." Shuichi apologized.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"N-no I-it's ok w-what d-do you n-need?" She asked in her normal stuttering and timid tone. "Kokichi had another episode again..." Shuichi said. Mikan asked him to give her a rundown of the wounds to see if he needed to go to the hospital. After a while of talking on the phone, Mikan told him he didn't have to come in tonight...but she did want to have a checkup with him tomorrow.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Alright, thank you so much, Mikan..." Shuichi said turning back to Kokichi. "Baby, are you ok?" He asked caressing his cheek. "I'm tired..." he mumbled finally feeling the exhaustion taking over.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Ok, let me put this away and then we can go to bed," Shuichi said standing up after cleaning up the first aid kit. He put everything away and came back to Kokichi. Kokichi has already closed his eyes and he could hear small snores coming out of his mouth. Shuichi smiled and kneeled down next to him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He carefully pulled him into his arms in bridal style making sure to be careful of his wounds. When they got to the room Shuichi tucked Kokichi into the bed after gently changing him into some pajamas. He placed his dirty clothes in the hamper before he changed and joined him in the bed. He slid in next to him and held him close to his chest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I love you Kokichi..." Shuichi whispered. He silently promised himself and Kokichi that he would make sure he was there for him all the time. And that he would notice that when Kokichi was acting off next time...so he could be there for him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I promise I will not let you feel like this again...baby I want you to be safe...sweet dreams my Kichi..." He whispered before he closed his eyes and let himself fall asleep with his love close to him wrapped in his arms.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>-Here is some angst...I'm sorry again...I have been having a weird day and a weird week. Thanks for reading!-</b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>-ShuichiOuma010-</em>
  </b>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0062"><h2>62. April Fools {Fluff}</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Kokichi was going to pull a prank on his beloved. It was April fools day after all. He had been planning for weeks and wanted to make this a memory they would look back at and smile. He walked into the library and saw Shuichi sitting and reading a book...like he was doing a lot of the time...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Shuichi~ We are breaking up~!" Kokichi said walking in front of him with a smile on his face. Shuichi looked up from his book, confused and looked up at Kokichi. "What?" He asked kind of in doubt of the earlier statement.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"We are breaking up!" Kokichi said again with a smile. "W-Why?" Shuichi asked feeling like this was a joke...but Kokichi wasn't going to give up yet. "Mainly I'm bored." He said with a stern look on his face. Shuichi flinched at his tone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You are always watching Kaede and it doesn't make me feel good. I need someone who listens to me and spends time with me." Kokichi said keeping his serious and partially cold tone. Shuichi froze. He knew what today was...but the words still hurt him...did he really mean it?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Ah, I guess it can't be helped...I also didn't like being with you..." He said in a colder tone than he meant to...but he let his feelings of betrayal and hurt show because he knew that Kokichi didn't like to see him sad. "Shuichi?" He asked as Shuichi got up after placing his book on the table next to him. He walked past Kokichi and went towards the door. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Except he hit his head on the door. He had some ketchup in his hand from earlier when Kaede mentioned it was April fools day. This was to prepare him if something like this were to happen. Because he knew that Kokichi didn't like people getting hurt from his pranks. So he takes this to his advantage and puts some 'blood' under his nose. "You hit that hard..." Kokichi whispered walking over to his side.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shuichi held his hand over his nose letting some of the 'blood' drip onto his hand. "Hey, Shuichi are you hurt?" Kokichi asked keeping up the serious tone. Neither of them wanted to give the validation of the other falling for the prank...so this continued. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kokichi started to worry that maybe he went too far. He knew Shuichi pretty well so that made him easier to target for pranks...because he knows what actions to do to get a reaction from him. Guilt settled on his shoulders and he felt really bad for making Shuichi get hurt because of his lie. He thought Shuichi would have figured out that this was a prank...merely a joke. 'It's too late to tell him that the breakup is a joke...it seems my aim was too accurate..." Kokichi sighed to himself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>'He is just so cute~!' Kokichi thought to himself while he was observing Shuichi. Kokichi always thought Shuichi was cute in everything he did, his laugh, his smile, and even when he was mad or sad. It was all cute to him. He knew he couldn't give in now because he needed to finish the prank so they can laugh at it later.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Shuichi did you hit your nose? Your forehead?" He asked walking over to face him. "Let me see," He sighed and looked at Shuichi's face. He had tears falling out of his eyes. "Ahh! Shuichi's hurt! Where is it bleeding?! Did you break your nose?!" Kokichi started to freak out. He didn't think he was hurt that bad! "I'll go get Kirumi!"He yelled turning to leave the room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shuichi grabbed the back of his shirt. He knew that his crying was also going to make him feel guilty...but he didn't want to get anyone else involved... "Don't go..." Shuichi whispered letting more tears fall out of his eyes. It didn't take much to get the tears to come...thinking of Kokichi abandoning him or breaking up with him made him feel so sad...even if he knew it was a lie...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I won't read anymore...and I will pay attention to you..." He paused letting a sniffle come out of his mouth. "I'll be a better boyfriend to you...so please....don't leave me..." He whispered feeling genuinely sad about this...because what if Kokichi really wasn't lying...what would he do then? Without his Kichi...?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Shuichi..." Kokichi sighed. He didn't know what to do after Shuichi said all of that. It was just so cute! He knew that he had to keep a straight face to make this memorable...but it's so hard when he is just being so cute!</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm sorry Shuichi, but I have to take care of your injury...so can you show me?" He asked taking his hand in his. Shuichi stayed silent for a moment before removing his hand from his nose revealing the ketchup. "Kokichi...It was fun, but you know you took it too far just now...Right?" He said in a cold tone making Kokichi pale under his glare.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Er...Um...That looks like a tasty nosebleed!" Kokichi exclaimed trying to break the tension. Shuichi just looked away still feeling a little depressed from making himself cry earlier and because he felt a little betrayed because of Kokichi's lie...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm so sorry Shuichi! Even if not today, I'm a liar. So it's the usual itch~ That was a lie, you caught me quickly really! That's why I never get tired of you Shu~ Because you can always figure me out...well I'm glad you didn't get hurt Shuichi, honest!" He exclaimed wrapping his arms around Shuichi's back nuzzling his face into his neck.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shuichi was just relieved that Kokichi was lying. He loved Kokichi more than anything and it would break his heart if Kokichi didn't like him anymore...he did plan on giving him more attention and affection in the future...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Shu~ I really didn't mean to upset you..." Kokichi said feeling more guilty when Shuichi didn't respond to him. Shuichi turned to face Kokichi and held him in his arms. "It's ok...just don't do that again...I don't want to lose you..." He whispered into Kokichi's ear before pulling him in for a kiss. Kokichi immediately kissed back with relief. He was relieved that Shuichi wasn't hurt from his little prank...although he was probably going to prank him again...at least next time he knew not to deny Shuichi his love for him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I love you Kokichi," Shuichi whispered pulling Kokichi back into a hug. "I love you so much Shuichi~," He cooed in his ear rubbing his back. He noticed that his shoulders were tense...probably because of him. He smiled to himself when he felt him relax. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"Shuichi you are the one I will always love"</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <b>-This is loosely based off of the comic at the top. I'm not sure who it is by...but if I find out I will make sure to put who it is. Thanks for reading!-</b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>-ShuichiOuma010-</em>
  </b>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0063"><h2>63. 17 {Fluff/Angst}</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>
    <span>17 years I waited for you</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Crying and shaking for you</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I wanted you more than anything</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>More than all the air my lungs could breathe</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Tired of the way people talked</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Telling me it was going to be alright</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>When obviously it wasn't</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I wanted to be in your soft embrace again</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Again</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Oh how many days I have cried just to be with you again</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Again</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>How many times I have tried to find you</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>It seems so long ago that you said goodbye</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I wonder sometimes if you have cried</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>About me</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>About us</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I miss you more than anything </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I wish more than anything</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>That you could be here with me</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>My heart is so cold without you</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>My eyes always drowning me without you</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>My lungs not taking in air to breathe</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Because I don't have you</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>It seems forever ago you had to leave</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Family wanted you elsewhere </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>This made it so much harder to breathe</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>You helped me speak again</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Telling me you never wanted this to end</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>But then you left and my voice was hushed</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Never to let another sound go untouched</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>If you aren't near </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I don't want them to hear</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Me</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Or you</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I want them to leave me be</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Let me just cry freely</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Not having to explain why</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>why I have cried all of these countless nights</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Why I only wish to die...</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>But then my thoughts come back to you</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>We always did what any lovers would too</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I could tell all the things you said were true</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>All the sweet nothings</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>And the I love you's</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I wanted nothing more than you...</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>But sometimes I wish I could live without you</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Not having to drag you down with me</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>You could finally be free without me...</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>" Kokichi!" I hear Kirumi yell from down the hall. I feel exhausted from not leaving my room for weeks. Can't this just be over?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"Coming..." I sighed knowing that showing any false joy would just be another of my many lies.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"Someone is here to see you." She gestured to the door. I knew it was probably Rantaro coming to check on me again. Kirumi said she wouldn't let me just stay somewhere alone when I won't even leave my room...so she has been here since I had been trapping myself in my room.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"Oh?" I asked walking over and turning the nob. She looked just as confused as I was. I knew it was going to be someone there to check up on me again...so why does she have such a hopeful glint in her eye?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Doesn't she know nothing can make this better unless you come back to me...but that will never come true...you wouldn't even know where I was if you did...I should just cherish the memories we made and try and make some new ones...instead of always clinging to the past...</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"?!" I gasped seeing a blur of blue crash against me before I could even process the fact that I had opened the door. Someone is kissing me? What the hell?!</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I tried to pull away only to realize who it was...Shuichi? I asked in my thoughts. I could tell Kirumi had left knowing we would need a moment alone. I respect her for always being so good at keeping boundaries.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"Kokichi, I'm so glad that I found you!" Shuichi gasped grabbing my hands and holding them to his chest. He looked at me with tears streaming down his face. I'm sure I was crying as well but I couldn't even begin to think about that...I mean...Shuichi is standing right in front of me?!</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He pulled me into a hug petting my hair with his hand. This calmed me down and I smiled knowing that he knew me so well. "ShuShu..." I whispered wrapping my arms around his back finally feeling the wetness on my cheeks.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"I'm so sorry it took me so long to find you! I should have asked for an address...but it was so hard to find your house or anyone who knew you-" I cut him off by placing a gentle kiss to his neck. He shuddered before he sighed.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"It's alright now Shu, because you came back for me," I said nuzzling my face into his neck. "I promise I will never leave you again! From here on out, I'm staying with you Kokichi as your boyfriend." He said pulling back to look me in the eyes again.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"I forgot how much I loved you," I said letting the words fall out of my mouth. A blush came to my face knowing how true they are. I didn't try to suppress it like I always do around anyone else...because Shuichi said he loved the way my cheeks got rosy when I get flustered</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"Thanks for waiting for me," He looked down at his feet. I frowned before smiling at him again. "I would wait for you even if you took an eternity to come back. Because I love you so much," I grabbed his hand and led him to my room.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Knowing what I wanted he pulled me onto the bed and held me close to his chest. "I missed being able to hold you like this..." Shuichi whispered and kissed my forehead.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"I missed everything we did together," I closed my eyes and let myself relax for the first time in 17 years. I felt at peace in my lover's arms. So safe and calm.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I'm glad that I lived long enough to see this day Shu,</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>You came back for me</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Like I knew you would</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Now you hold me </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Like you always would</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Now the past can become the present</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Where you and I will stay here again </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Looking at each other </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>And loving the feeling</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I love you Shuichi Saihara </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Thank you for coming back for me</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <b>-Thank you so much for reading! I will be getting back on my normal updating schedule!-</b>
</p><p>
  <b>-</b>
  <b>
    <em>ShuichiOuma010-</em>
  </b>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0064"><h2>64. Soulmate AU 1 [String] {Angst}</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I hate having to look at it. The red wrapped around my finger like a snake ready to kill. Sometimes I think it could be easier if I was killed. Dead for everyone else to now worry about any more.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I have no clue who could be at the other end...all I know is if they knew it was me on the other side they would definitely hate me. They would be disappointed that it was me...the useless detective such as myself...I have already let so many others get hurt...god...I fucking hate it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Saihara-Chan!" I looked up from my arms where my head was buried moments ago. He looked happy? I could see he was concerned...probably because I'm just sitting in a corner in the library...alone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hey Kokichi..." I didn't like having to hear my pathetic voice. It hurt me knowing that others had to listen to my annoying voice...all the damn time. I wish I could just never have to speak again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I love Kokichi's voice. It is so happy and calming. Although, most of the time he is just teasing or trying to bug other people. It still has the same calming effect on me. Like dark city nights where you can just watch the cars go by. Feeling the wind blow through your hair. Wishing to yourself that it could stay like that forever.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Are you being Emo again Shumai~?" He teased me again tapping the top of my hat. I pulled it over my face not wanting him to have to see my weak self...he already is here alone with me...why is he here anyway? There are so many other people he could be hanging out with right now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Ah, I guess..." I paused taking in a shaky breath. My shoulders started to shake. Goddamn it Shuichi!! You can cry here damn it!! "W-why are you here Kokichi?" I hated how weak my voice sounded. I felt like screaming. Like crying until I passed out from exhaustion.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I wish Kokichi would be there to listen to me and- no you shouldn't put that on him...he probably hates me anyway...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh? Well I came to be with you my Beloved~ you are my favorite after all~," He moved to sit next me. I didn't bother to look at him. Because I was scared he was just going to tease me like he always does...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"So, Shumai~ you know this whole thing about soulmates? I think it's pretty stupid," His tone was still teasing...but I feel like there is more honesty behind his words this time. Maybe it's just because I haven't slept in a long time...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah, me to..." He put his head against the wall. " This whole thing about destiny choosing who you have to be with is bullshit! Saihara-Chan, you must be older than 15 yeah? So have you found out who your soulmate is?" He asked. I felt him turn to face me. Hearing him say the word soulmate made my heart beat faster. I was afraid of finding out. Scared they would hate me because I could never be good enough for anyone else...or myself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I didn't like having to talk about this at all. It makes me feel so sick. Sick of the idea of having another person who was chosen for me...I know they wouldn't want me...no one wants more burdens to carry, they just want others to take theirs and keep quiet about there own...that's what people have always told me...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Sorry, you don't have to answer...I just haven't found my own yet...my string is blue and I have no idea what that means..." I shifted and looked over at him. A blue string? I thought all strings were red? Kokichi seems more honest now...is it because he is trying to tell me something?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I wanted to tell you because I really do like you Shuichi Saihara, it's alright if you don't accept...I just wanted you to know." He paused. I went quiet. My breath hitched in my throat. "You like me...?" I asked the question more for myself so I could try and wrap my head around this.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He liked me? Is he lying? Is he taking pity on me because I'm a damn mistake? I have liked him for the longest time...but I never saw a string on his finger...so I always assumed he had someone else...and why would he want me anyway?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"That must have sounded stupid, just forget I said anything!" He said wiping his eyes before rushing about of the room before I could say anything else. "I should have told him...damn it!" I clenched my fist and ran out after him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was really fast for how tall he was. Like damn...he ran into his room and slammed the door. I noticed he didn't lock it...I could hear him crying. 'This is all my fault...great job you fucker..." I shook my head silencing my thoughts...to an extent. Because Kokichi is the one I needed to worry about right now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I shouldn't have said anything..." Kokichi whispered as I opened the door. "I'm sorry Kokichi, I-" he cut me off putting his hand to my mouth. "You don't have to feel bad about this. It was selfish of me to just put all of that on you." He bit his thumb as more tears slipped down his cheeks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I pulled him into a hug and ran my fingers through his hair. "No Kokichi, it was rude of me to not tell you my answer..." I paused taking in a breath. "I love you Kokichi Ouma...I wanted to tell you earlier...but I was too shy and I'm not a big fan of my voice..." I felt the tears I was trying so hard to suppress start pouring out of my eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm glad you feel the same way, sorry for making you cry Shu~ I love your voice! So, don't feel like I don't! You can talk to me all day and I would never get bored or annoyed!" He cliched the back of my shirt making me cry harder. "Thanks Kokichi," I whispered to him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>We stayed in the embrace for a moment. Taking in the love of the other. I felt peaceful, like I actually found the thing I was missing. Who knew it was going to be something so close to me?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Shumai look!" Kokichi gasped looking down at our hands. The red string I despised so much was...glowing? The one on Kokichi's finger that was now visible to me was connected to mine. It slowly turned purple and Kokichi's turned a beautiful blue violet color.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I guess it was meant to be?" I asked confused. "I'm glad you were the person I was looking for all of this time!" Kokichi pulled me down to his level and put his lips to mine.     I let my eyes slide closed as our lips collided. His hands brushed through my hair making me sigh. I moved my hands to his hips and held him close to me.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I guess good things can come even when it all seems pointless...thanks for helping me realize this Kokichi, I love you Kokichi Ouma.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎</span>
</p><p>
  <b>-I tried to write a Soulmate AU...sorry if it's not the best...I was working on drawing the class photo for the cast of my screenplay. It took around 10 hours...and I still don't know if I like it. Thanks for reading!-</b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>-ShuichiOuma010-</em>
  </b>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0065"><h2>65. Soulmate AU 2 [Memories] {Fluff/Angst}</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>
    <span>.   .   . </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"Remember to smile love" She looked into my eyes as we span around. I clasped my hands and hers together and she began spinning faster. All I could focus on is her amazing aura.  </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"Alright!" I yelled letting the wind go through my hair as we laughed. The spinning eventually made both of us dizzy. We fell to the ground bursting into more laughter.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"I always want to just be here with you. I hate that you have to leave all the time," She sighed and rested her head on her arms moving them to the back of her head. I laughed a bit at her response.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"I have to go to school you know! But I wish I could always have moments like this with you as well..." I sighed and rested my arm across my face. It was darker out and the sun was starting to set out of the sky.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"It's beautiful!" She said grabbing my hand and pulling me up to sit next to her. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"Yeah, it really is," I sighed with a smile on my lips. She rested next to me on the grass and hugged me. I wrapped my arms around her and held her close to me.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"Thanks for taking me out here Jo Ella~," I teased poking her nose making her laugh.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"Of course that's what a sister is for silly!" I smiled at her words. She is like the sister I never had. My best friend and my sister.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>.   .   .</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Hmm, I still have no idea..." I rested my head against my hand. I held onto my forehead letting my thoughts overwhelm me.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Soulmates...we all have one. The way we are connected to them is through our own dreams. Soulmates bonded by dreams. Any of the dreams I have are the memories of my soulmate. Some of them seem more recent but others are from times farther back...I assume anyway.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I still haven't come any closer to knowing who my soulmate is. All I know is he is a male and he goes to my school. The only bad thing about having dreams of their memories is that their name or appearance is never revealed...making it harder to know who they are.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I sighed hearing my alarm going off. "Best to get ready then..." I groaned and went to get changed. I grabbed a random shirt and my scarf. I pulled on my black pants and my high tips before walking out of my room making my way into the bathroom.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Ok, my hair needs some work," My hair is always hard to manage. It curls at the ends but only on the side parts. The back of my hair is mostly straight, so to make it look a little more comfortable I curl the back a bit and make sure the top is brushed out.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After finishing my hair I brushed my teeth before making my way downstairs. I closed the door behind me and went to grab my bag. I live alone in an apartment mostly because nobody wants to move in with me. I don't mind this because I get more time to myself.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Without another word I grabbed my lunch and walked out the front door. There was a lot of chatter in the hall. The number of people just standing around made me feel uncomfortable.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Some of them tried to talk to me but I just teased them and did my signature laugh before leaving the room to go to my classes today. I have most of them with my friend Shuichi Saihara. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He has been my friend for the whole time I can remember from going to Hopes Peak. He is nice and charming in his own way. We also work really well together. I blushed at the thought before I remembered.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Right, Kaede and him are already Soulmates. Shuichi has never mentioned his soulmate but Kaede is always talking about how great she and Shuichi are together. I don't even know if Shuichi knows that's what Kaede is telling the whole school. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I sighed to myself as I entered the building. They would be better together anyway. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Hey! Kokichi!!" I heard Shuichi call me from the other side of the room. I smiled and waved over at him. As I made my way over to him I saw out of the corner of my eye Kaede was glaring at me. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Hey, ShuShu~ whatcha working on there?" I asked noticing the papers he has all over the table. It seemed like notes for our criminal justice class we have together. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"These are just some notes I have taken for criminal justice! We have that test coming up so I wanted to be prepared for it," He looked really tired. He had some bags under his eyes and just looked overall exhausted.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Did you get any sleep last night?" I asked in a more serious tone making him blush a bit. I blushed at the reaction I got but quickly recovered. I went to take a seat next to him. I made sure to not sit too close because I didn't want to make him feel even more nervous or worse make him feel uncomfortable.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"No...Kaede was calling me all night...and I didn't get much sleep..." He yawned and rested his head on my shoulder. I blushed at the contact but suppressed it because I was more worried about Shuichi.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Why was she calling you?" I asked trying not to ask too many questions on the matter. I know how annoying that can be.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"She wanted to know what dreams I have been having..." He yawned again and let his eyes slide closed. She must have been asking to find out if they really are soulmates...why did she ask all night though? Doesn't she know Shuichi has really bad insomnia? And when he is able to get sleep it better be undisturbed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"What dreams have you been having?" I asked unable to contain my curiosity. What could he have been dreaming about?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"They are all about this boy..." He paused for a moment. He has been having dreams about a boy as well? Maybe- no that can't be it...</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"He has some issues with trusting people and has little friends at school. I can see how we could be soulmates...he is so kind even though he acts as though he is cold around some people..." He sighed again and moved slightly to hide his face in my chest. It's me...I can't believe that Shuichi's soulmate is me! I felt my face become hot.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"A-and do you k-know who this boy is?" I asked trying to cover up my stutter at the beginning.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I think it's an amazing person who so happens to be my best friend..." He said making my face become even hotter. I could see Kaede's glare become a death glare. So she knows...and she has known...</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"So you know it as well don't you Koki," He whispered letting his face move to snuggle into my neck. I jumped at the contact but soon calmed down regaining my composure.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Yeah~ the one you are bonded to is me my Beloved~," I kissed his forehead and let him rest. He smiled and nodded against my neck finally falling asleep. Getting the sleep he needs.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I'm glad~ all of the dreams I have been having make more sense," I put my hand to my chin. Yeah, it all makes more sense. That's why whenever I had dreams of him at school he was always with Kaito or Kaede. It makes me angry how much time they spend together...but then I also remembered something else.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Al the times we have hung out together. Going to the park, to the movies, to his house. We do a lot together. He is my best friend and my best homework buddy. I wouldn't change that for the world. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>.   .   .</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After school was over and going through the whole day being almost inseparable from Shuichi we went back to my apartment.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"So Shuichi do you have a sister?" I asked remembering the dream from last night. He shook his head.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"No I am an only child, but I'm assuming you had a dream about my 'sister' Joelle," I nodded making him giggle a bit before he frowned slightly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"We were super close when I was younger. She lived down the block and we would always do everything together. But then about 3 years ago she got hit by a car when she was going home..." I could tell there was more to what he said but I didn't want to force him to tell me more about that event. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I'm so sorry about that," I said moving closer into his chest. He sighed and wrapped his arms around me.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"It's alright, it was a long time ago," He looked over to the wall making me slightly confused. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Oh, Kokichi...I know this may be rude to ask? But I have been sharing an apartment with Kaito and Rantaro...and it is only made for two people..." he paused for a moment and I felt his hands shake. I grabbed onto his hands and moved so I was facing him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"You want to ask if you can move in with me right?" He gave me a nod and I could see some tears in his eyes. He must be a little worked out from remembering what happened and asking this just pushed him over the edge.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"That's alright! I have been wanting a roommate forever! And having you as a roommate is a dream come true!" I kissed him on his forehead before standing up.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Let's go and grab your things then!" I grabbed his hand and pulled him out of my apartment pulling the door closed behind us.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Thank you for agreeing to this Kokichi," I smiled at him and waved out arms back and forth.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Of course my beloved!" We made it to his room quicker than I thought we would have. But it may have been because I was distracted by his eyes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Hey, Kaito, Kaede...I-" Right, when we came in Kaito, was already talking. Kaede was just staring at me like I killed her dog...I ignored her and held her </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"You came to grab your things to move in with Kokichi right?" I was surprised by how Kaito just knew. I looked over at Shuichi hoping he would have an explanation or he told him or something, but he just shrugged at me. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Yeah..." Kaito moved out of the way and let Shuichi go into his room with me following close behind. I was surprised by how Kaito was acting...he hates me just like Kaede...</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Well, that was interesting?" Shuichi asked making me shrug over at him. After a few moments, we began packing up his room. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He didn't have many things in his room, so it took us maybe under twenty minutes to pack up the whole room. After that, we made out way out with two boxes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Well, see you tomorrow at school sidekick!" Kaito exclaimed giving him a pat on the back. Shuichi gave him a smile before we both left.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I held the box in my hand and lead him back to my apartment. I would have to tell the owner downstairs that he is moving rooms, but I can worry about that later.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Thank again Kokichi," Shuichi smiled at me as we unpacked his boxes into his new room. After we finished we took a step back to admire our work.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It has been a long time since this room has had anything in it, but it was nice to finally have a roommate. Sure sometimes it can be hard to live with someone else but I'm sure me and Shuichi can make this work.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Shuichi?" He slumped against my shoulder again. He must still be tired...that is so cute~.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I grabbed his hand and led him to his bed. I soon slid next to him and pulled the covers over us. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Goodnight my love," </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>-I was scrolling through Pinterest like I always do and I found this AU and I thought I could be cute to write! So here is another Soulmate AU!! Thank you all so much for reading!!-</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>-ShuichiOuma010-</em>
  </b>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0066"><h2>66. Small White Lines {Fluff/Angst}</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>
    <span>How have you been doing?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>I get asked that question all the time, or more accurately when people remember to acknowledge me. I never know what to answer. I know what they want me to say. I'm fine! And give them the same empty smile...just so they don't have to take time out of their day to have to worry about me...</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Are you ok?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>People only say that to pretend they care. Worried that I'm going to kill myself or hurt myself again. I look down to my arms...all the white lines covering them on the front and back. Scattered up to my shoulders and neck. I wasn't wearing my jacket because I was still contemplating if I wanted to do it again. Hurt myself so I can forget the immense pain in my head. Tracing the lines over my skin again in the darkness of my room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was painful being alone here. I was always trying so hard to be 'happy' for everyone else...but it just leads me to feel more empty and along when I have to be by myself. God, I hate myself...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was raining outside my window. Thunder cracking every now and again. It made me flinch but I was so consumed in my own thoughts I didn't even notice...it was already 2 in the morning.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sleep has never been something I was good at...or even something I looked forward to...but regardless I still wouldn't want to be able to get the rest from sleeping. I hate feeling vulnerable around others and when I'm alone. So sleeping just makes me feel weak and vulnerable...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A sigh left my lips again. My head feels like it's pounding with the painful thoughts...the painful memories...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>My focus goes back to my arms. I wish more than anything that I could get rid of this emotional torment...maybe I could- No you can't...you don't really have a reason why you can't...but you just can't.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I got off my bed and walked over to my door. I threw my jacket back on my shoulders and walked out of my door. I was still wearing my daily clothing because there was no point in changing if I was just going to stay awake all night anyway. Walking to the dining hall just made the feeling deepen. The feeling of being alone...having no one to talk to...no one too-</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Kokichi?" I turned my head and my eyes were met with a tired-looking Shuichi. He had deep bags under his eyes and he looked so exhausted. He looked how I feel. Why is he awake? Is he having trouble sleeping too? I mean we are in a killing game...so getting sleep is a mercy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hey, Shuichi...what are you doing up?" I asked keeping my voice hushed. I felt bad for asking the question because what the hell was I even doing here? My head felt foggy and I couldn't even tell he moved closer to me until he started talking.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I haven't been able to sleep ever since the first trial...but why are you awake Kokichi?" I wanted to tell him...tell him that I can't sleep and sometimes I feel so exhausted I just stay up crying because I can't sleep. I want to open up to him...but I'm too scared he is going to judge me or worse...abandon me...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>". . ." I didn't say anything. I just cast my gaze to my feet. I wasn't in the mood to pretend I was ok. I wasn't in the mood so I just didn't say anything. I hated having to hear my weak voice when I wasn't ready to be around people...how broken it sounds when I'm so close to crying...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shuichi put a hand on my shoulder. I looked up at him confused. He didn't say anything either and the silence was peaceful. Just being with him makes me feel at ease...even when it's morning and I have to pretend. He has this calming aura about him and it makes me feel safe in a sense...I would never tell him this out loud...because why would he want to get close to someone as disgusting as me?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I have too many scars. I tell too many lies. No one could love me. Why would they want to? I would just drag them down. They would get annoyed by my clinginess...they would hate me for how much I cry. He would hate me because I'm not a good person...I'm never going to be good enough for anything...sleep, comfort, rest, peace...I don't deserve any of that...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It's ok if you don't want to say anything. Do you want to come to my room so you don't have to be alone?" His quiet voice almost moved me to tears. Safe arms wrapped around my shoulders hiding my face from view. I let out a shaky breath...he asked me so it wouldn't be selfish to accept the offer...right? Or maybe he is just lying...who knows? I'm too tired to try and tell for myself...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I nodded into his shoulder feeling weak doing the motion. He slowly pulled away and grabbed my hand. We walked down the hall out to the courtyard and to the dorms. It was dark out and the stars were glowing brightly. It calmed me down a bit knowing it was just me and Shuichi. I feel safe not having to pretend for everyone...with him, it's easier for me to be myself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I have no idea how he made me feel this way...I haven't even known him for that long, but for some reason, I feel safer with him than anyone else I have ever met...is there something wrong with me? I'm not supposed to trust someone this easily...so why with him-</span>
</p><p>
  <span>My thoughts were cut off when Shuichi brought me over to sit next to him on his bed. He wrapped his arms around me again and held me close to him. The rhythm of his heartbeat was music to my ears. Warmth consumed the cold feeling of being alone. Even if he didn't feel the same way as I feel about him. I still felt safe in his embrace. I was exhausted and let the tears I had been holding back slowly slip out of my eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Silent sobs let out into his chest. Feeling weak and broken like many nights before. I couldn't relax...except for now. My tears lessened after crying silently for an hour or so...it felt good to get all of the things I was holding in out. After the sadness passed I sighed a broken sigh and let myself go limp in his embrace.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He picked me up and put me into his bed and brought over a shirt and some water. I was confused...why was he doing all of this for me? He had a look of empathy in his eyes...it made me feel like I was finally understood and someone just knew...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I slid off my jacket and pants and changed into the clothes he brought me. When I was putting on the shirt his hands stopped mine and he grabbed my chin to make me face him. He rubbed his thumb over my small white lines and he gave me a sad smile before she took off his jacket.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He placed his arm in my lap and moved my hand over his soft skin. He has small bumps over his arms? I looked down and saw his arms are similar to mine. White lines were scattered all over his arms and he moved my hand across them. I looked up at him feeling more tears come to my eyes. He did the same thing? But why? He is so much better than I am...he has so many people surrounding him...why would he?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A gentle hand moved to caress my cheek. My eyes met empathetic eyes. I melted under his gaze. He understands. Tears streamed down my cheeks again and he just brought me back into His loving embrace. I cried again and I could tell he was crying too. Where has he been my whole life?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shuichi Saihara I wish I could have been there for you...I wish we could have been there for each other...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It's ok Kokichi, I know how you feel...I know you are having trouble sleeping and I know that being close to someone might help...sorry if this is weird of me to do...but I want you to be ok, because I care about you Kokichi," His words were all I needed to hear. He cares about me...he must know...everything, and god I needed some good sleep.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He brushed my hair out of my eyes and placed a kiss on my forehead. "Get some rest...I'm right here with you...your safe now," My eyes slid closed and for the first time in weeks I wasn't scared to go to sleep. His warm embrace and the safety he made me feel...let me be able to finally relax. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I nuzzled into his shirt and clung onto him. I felt safe like no one would hurt me...my thoughts wouldn't keep hurting me...all the pain from the scary thoughts I get...just went away. Thanks for letting me sleep...I really needed it...I really needed someone to talk to...someone who can understand...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Thank you Shuichi Saihara for listening to me. Thank you for understanding all the small white lines...thank you for caring about me...when no one else would.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>-We are back with more angst. Sorry for being so angsty all the time...I have just been having a hard time because even though I don't say it a lot I hate when people ignore me...and everyone does because I'm always lying...but sometimes I just wish someone was there for me...uh, Thank you so much for reading!!-</b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>-ShuichiOuma010-</em>
  </b>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0067"><h2>67. -私の愛- {Fluff}</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>"Shuichi are you coming we have to go!!" Kaede yelled from the bottom of the stairs. Shuichi rushed down to Kaede.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Are you ready? You took forever!" Kaede teased poking his cheek. "Yeah, yeah, I'm ready," He sighed and walked out with her to the car. Rantaro was in the front and Kaede took the passenger seat next to him. Shuichi sat in the back with Kiibo, Maki, and Kaito.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shuichi felt ecstatic that he got to go see his crush perform on stage. He loved how his voice sounded...and he loved how he made him feel. With the sound of his voice touching his heart it made his brain feel less foggy. It was rejuvenating to hear his music.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Why do I have to go again?!" Kaito sat up and looked accusingly at Rantaro and Kaede. "Kokichi is having a performance at the new concert place that opened recently," Rantaro said before Kaede interrupted.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah, and I think that Shuichi really wants to see him...because we know you like him..." Kaede teased the last part under her breath. Kaito and Maki didn't seem to hear and Kiibo either didn't hear or didn't care enough to bring it to the others' attention.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It is good that Shuichi is getting out of the house," Maki closed her eyes and rested her hands on her knees. Kaito just looked annoyed...not that he isn't usually annoyed...it's just that Shuichi was worried that if the word got out about his crush...he could lose his best friends...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You are not wrong there. He hasn't left for anything now work-related..." Kiibo said in a 'matter of fact' tone making Shuichi flinch. 'I guess it has been a while since I left my house,' Shuichi thought to himself feeling an embarrassed blush come to his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He gets to see Kokichi tonight! He felt his heart pounding in his chest and he felt so nervous, or maybe excited?...he didn't really know...but he did know he was feeling something he hadn't felt in a while because of this whole situation.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Here we are, guys!" Rantaro announced parking the car. We all exited the vehicle and started walking towards the entrance.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Damn! This place is huge!" Kaito exclaimed making Maki roll her eyes from beside him. "It is a place for a concert dumbass..." She mumbled. "I'm not a dumbass!" Kaito raised his hands and put them in his hair. Shuichi hasn't seen him get this riled up in a while, but seeing as he never leaves his house...he hasn't really seen any of them in a while.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Apart from that Kaito will always have a bad temper. Shuichi knew everyone that knew Kaito knew that...because he always gets so bent out of shape if anyone calls him an idiot, stupid, a dumbass...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hey, Shumai! What are you doing here?" Shuichi raised his head. He noticed that the others were ahead of him. He must have zoned out again. "ShuShu?" He asked again snapping me back into the present. "Ah, K-Kokichi," He stuttered feeling a slight blush come to his cheeks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shuichi thought he was just going to see Kokichi perform on stage. Not that he was complaining, it just took him by surprise to see his crush before his performance.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm so glad I ran into you!" He pulled Shuichi into a hug and buried his face in his chest. Shuichi could feel the blush on his face burning on his cheeks. He hesitates but soon puts his arms around the smaller male. "You're glad you ran into me?" He asked not really believing what he heard.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yes! I was looking for you and coincidentally I saw you just standing staring into space! So I took the chance to come and talk to you~," He bopped Shuichi's nose before continuing with his statement.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hey, I do need to ask you something though," He said very seriously. Kokichi doesn't say things in this tone very often and it made Shuichi shudder. "Yeah, what is it?" He asked trying to stop from blushing at seeing his cute face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well, my partner Sani is sick and couldn't perform with me today...so I was wondering if you could be her replacement?" He asked tilting his head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What?!" Shuichi gasped unsure of how to take this. How could he perform with Kokichi?! He wouldn't even know what to do! "Yeah, it would be perfect because remember when we first met each other?" He put his hand on Shuichi's making his gaze come back to him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"How could I not?" Shuichi smiled at the memory...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>—-</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"Wait!" Kokichi gasped as he ran into a tall, dark-haired male. "Ah, sorry!" The male said helping him off the floor.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"I didn't mean to run into you, I'm just looking for someone," Kokichi said grabbing his notebook full of the songs he was working on. The taller male put his hand to his chin. "I'm looking for someone as well. Maybe we can help each other?" He said politely.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"Of course!" Kokichi clapped his hands together as the taller male laughed a bit. "I'm looking for someone called Shuichi Saihara," The taller male paused before his face went pink. "Are you Kokichi Ouma?" He asked in disbelief.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"Yeah, you must be Shuichi then!" He smiled and put his hand out for Shuichi to shake. "You know why we were looking for each other right?" Kokichi asked narrowing his gaze a bit. Shuichi flinched before relaxing a bit.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"Yeah, um, you needed help writing a new song right? And I can write and read music...so if you need help with finding a melody or something I can help." Shuichi whispered almost embarrassed about what he could do. "Kaede would have been able to come and help you, but she was busy today...so I have to be here instead...sorry for the inconvenience,"</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"Awesome! Let's get to work then!!" Kokichi grabbed his hand totally ignoring his past statement. Shuichi felt a little pang in his heart from this but dismissed it. Kokichi started walking and dragged him to his practice room.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>The room had a piano with a bass leaning against it. On one wall there was an assortment of other instruments. It has a cute lilac color on two walls while the other one is lavender. It looked really cute and Shuichi could see the resemblance to the smaller male.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"So what song are we working on?" Shuichi asked looking at the music sheets spread out on the table. "The song is called my love," Kokichi's whispered opening his notebook to the page.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"I like the sound of that,"</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>—-</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>"You sang so beautifully! And I bet you still do!! So come one there is no time to waste!!" Kokichi, like before, grabbed his hand and dragged him backstage. "Wait! But Kaede would be so much better! She can play the piano really well and can sing-" Kokichi cut him off by giving him a serious glare.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well, I want you to sing with me. Because you are exactly what I need to sing this piece." Shuichi was shocked at this statement and it just made his blush darken.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When they got backstage Shuichi noticed his phone was vibrating. He pulled it out of his pocket and noticed there were 10 missed calls from Kaede, Rantaro, and Kaito. Sighing he pressed the call button on Kaede's contact. "Hey, sorry for making you guys worry but-" Kokichi cut him off and grabbed the phone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Sorry, but I'm borrowing Shuichi for tonight! Don't worry about him!" He said before abruptly ending the phone call. "Well, now let's get ready! But no distractions!!" He said putting Shuichi's phone on the top of his notebook.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Ok..." Shuichi sighed defeated... " Ok, here are the lyrics! You sing it like-"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>. . .</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The performance was starting and the lights went dark with only one spotlight that was shining on Kokichi. The piano music from one of the other performers started to fill the silence. Shuichi was nowhere in sight and his friends were starting to worry what exactly Kokichi meant by 'borrowing'.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kokichi sang a few of his other songs. The crowd clapped and whistled for him. But he knew that the last song was going to be the best one for this concert.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After anxiously waiting the last song came and Shuichi knew exactly what to do.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"Shine for me, my love</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Be my only sun</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Wishing for you as the sky turns grey</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>(Hey) it's another day</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>(Oh) There's no other way to make me smile"</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Kokichi started singing and the crowd went wild. He walked down the stage as he sang with his eyes closed.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"My love</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>My only</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>When you're not here I am lonely</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Wishing for you to come again</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>My love</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>My only</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Too scared to be lonely </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Wanting you to see me"</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Shuichi came out when the chorus started. Kokichi looked over at him and could tell he was nervous. He grabbed his hand in his own and helped him sing.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"Another time when darkness falls over me</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>You are the only melody</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>To complete my harmony</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>You are the only one</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Who helps me see the sun</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>(Oh) how much I need you every day</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>My love</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>My only</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>When you're not here I am lonely</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Wishing for you to come again</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>My love</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>My only</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Too scared to be lonely </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Wanting you to see me"</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>They sang while they face each other holding hands as they sang the lyrics. Shuichi felt better knowing it was just him and Kokichi who were singing. Looking into his eyes made it seems a lot less scary than singing in front of thousands of people.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"Your dark hair and golden eyes</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Always take me to the skies"</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Shuichi heard the verse...but he wasn't taught these lyrics. He felt himself blush at the words. Was this why Kokichi needed him to perform tonight?</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>You make me blush hotter</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Then heat from a lighter</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I wish more than any other </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>That you'd be my lover </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>(Oh) everyday</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>My love</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>My only</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>When you're not here I am lonely</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Wishing for you to come again</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>My love</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>My only</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Too scared to be lonely </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Wanting you to see me"</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>It was finally the end of the song. Regardless of how much Shuichi was blushing, he finished the song with Kokichi.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Wanting to feel your hand in mine</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Loving the way your smile shines</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Hoping to finally make you mine</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Every way..."</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>After they bowed and after an immense about of clapping and cheering Kokichi brought Shuichi backstage.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You did great Shumai!!" Kokichi pulled him into a hug. "T-thank you, but you were amazing Kokichi," Shuichi whispered wrapping his arms around the smaller male.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I do this all the time! So you were amazing for that being your first time performing!!" He said pulling away to poke his cheek. "I guess," Shuichi whispered turning his head to the side.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kokichi grabbed his chin and without much warning, he kissed him. Shuichi was shocked by this but soon kissed him back. Kokichi has been waiting to do this ever since they first worked together...but Shuichi was always busy and never left his house...so he thought having a concert and telling Kaede to bring Shuichi was a great plan.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"K-kokichi?" Shuichi questioned blushing a darker red. "I love you Shuichi," He paused and took his hands in his own.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Shuichi when we first met I was writing this song for a past crush of mine...I almost gave up on it when I found out that the person I was writing it for was a total shit to me...but then I remembered you and you inspired me to finish it, so I thought it was only fitting that you got to perform with me!" Shuichi was shocked hearing this.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The song was written for him? Kokichi wrote this song for him? He blushed remembering the song was called my love. "I love you Shuichi," He wiped Shuichi's tears off his face. Shuichi didn't know he started crying until Kokichi's thumbs wiped away his tears.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I love you too, Kokichi,"</span>
</p><p>
  <b>-I actually wrote some fluff! I'm kinda surprised I didn't make this have a sad turn...but regardless here is some fluff!! Thanks for reading!!-</b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>-ShuichiOuma010-</em>
  </b>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0068"><h2>68. Seashells {Fluff}</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The beach has always been a special place for me. My mom would always take me there when I was younger...until she and my dad became too busy to take care of their 'son' and moved me in with my uncle. I loved walking down the beach holding onto my mom's hand and watching her laugh as her hair blew in her face. These are the memories I cherish of them...my mom anyway. My dad was always too busy for me...even too busy for all the little things like beach trips and watching late-night movies.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Shu-Chan~," Kokichi said coming from behind me. His voice was gentle and calming. Arms wrapped around my waist calming my thoughts. I brought him here to show him the beach me and my mom always came to when I was younger. Kokichi has never been to the beach because his parents were never the best...but I'm glad we get to share these memories.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hey, Kichi," I turned around in his grasp and ran my fingers through his windblown hair. It was chilly today, not too cold to go outside, but cold enough where it required a jacket to not be breaking out in goosebumps right when you walked out the door. It was calming, hearing the wind blow across the water, having the person you love next to you, feeling their warmth in your arms, and the warmth they bring to your cheeks as well as your heart. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You want to go and look for seashells?" He tilted his head cutely after pulling back to see my face. I smiled down at him before placing a kiss on his forehead. "Of course my love," Brushing my fingers over his slightly pink cheeks. He smiled before grabbing my hand and walking with me across the sand. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I was wearing a black turtleneck with a light grey jacket on top along with some dark blue jeans. Kokichi was wearing a short-sleeved checkered shirt under his pale purple jacket along with his black ripped jeans. We had both taken off our shoes at the start of the sandy beach as well as rolling up our jeans a bit so they wouldn't get wet if the tide came in. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The sand was cold but it felt nice when the sand wasn't burning hot. I haven't felt this calm for a while. Kaito and Maki invited us to come to the beach today, they both weren't here yet but I did like having the opportunity to just walk around looking for seashells with Kichi.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Look at this one Shumai~!" He held up a blue shell that was different shades of blue. I smiled about to tell him how pretty it was before he turned it over. The blue faded into the back which was different shades of purple blending into each other. "See it's like us!" He smiled booping my nose with his finger making a small blush come to my cheeks. "Yes, it is, it's beautiful Koki," </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I knew you would love it~," He went back to walking with me. The beach was very secluded today. Not a lot of people came here when my mom and I would come to the beach all those years ago. Mainly it was because the sand was darker and was covered in flat rocks and seaweed. It wasn't the prettiest beach, but anyone who came here knew how pretty the seashells could be.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It reminded me of Kokichi and even me. Because Kokichi always acts around the others, lying and wearing a mask to hide his real feelings and emotions. When I get disappointed I always keep my feelings to myself and hide them from others. After being with Kokichi for a while I realized how beautiful something that others gave up on could be. A lot of our other friends gave up on getting close to Kokichi because of his habit of constantly lying. I'm so glad I stayed close to him all those years because now I can see all the beauty of him that was hidden from everyone else. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I loved when I found out that he had heterochromia his eyes became even more beautiful to me. One beautiful purple one with another gorgeous yellow one. Every flaw that was revealed to me became another beauty and another thing to love about him. He can sing like the beautiful angel he is...he says I can sing better than him but I don't believe him because his voice is so, so, angelic to me. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I walked over to another shell in the sand. I was buried underneath some of the dirt and was only poking out just enough for me to see it. I pulled it out of the ground and rinsed it in the cold water revealing its beautiful colors. Pale pink, blue, purple, and some green. It was beautiful. It was cloudy outside so it wasn't exactly glistening in the sun or anything, more like a shaded beauty. I have always been a more aesthetic person...admiring beauty and emotions. It's like my own way of seeing the beauty of the world even if no one else does.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"ShuShu come over here!" Kokichi yelled from across the beach. He had a pile of shells on a towel we laid out earlier. I laughed to myself before making my way over to him. "Hey Kichi, you found a lot of shells," I said sitting next to him on the towel. "Yeah, look!" He put them into piles that were for every color he found which was basically the whole rainbow and more.</span>
</p><p>
  <span> "There's mom, Avocado, Gonta, Himiko, Angie, Tenko, Kiyo, Ryoma, Kaedead, Tsumugi, Miu, Keeboy, Maki, Kaito, and me and you of course!" I smiled at him. "It's beautiful," I wrapped my arm around his waist and he rested his head on my shoulder. He has always thought of his friends as his family and honestly, I can see why as well as agree with him. His family was never there for him and kicked him out of the house...so his friends took him in and became his family.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It made me happy to know that he cares about all of our classmates even Kaito and Maki. He still bickers with Kaito occasionally but he and Maki have become close. I'm glad he has taken the time to make friends.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I love you Kichi," I whispered pulling him into a kiss. He smiled against my lips before he pulled away resting his forehead against my own. "I love you too my beloved Shu-Chan~,"</span>
</p><p>
  <b>-School is killing me inside...like everything else at this point...anyway. Here is some fluff for you guys! Thank you so much for reading!-</b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>-ShuichiOuma010-</em>
  </b>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0069"><h2>69. Ugly {Angst}</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Gross...my skin burns. It's hurting me. I feel myself flinch under the burning feeling of me having to be trapped in my skin. I hated it...all of this...why isn't Shuichi home yet? He would calm me down...calm all these thoughts...these feelings...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I feel sick. My head is telling me all the things I hate about myself. Do you really think he likes looking at you? Seriously? Kokichi, you look so ugly and disgusting why does he even stay with you? Because you're pathetic!</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I shriveled in the corner of our room. Maybe you're right...he just stays with me to pity me...tears were pouring down my cheeks as I was in a hoodie and sweats because there was no way in hell I was going to let Shuichi see my ugly self...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>My hood was pulled over my head and partway over my face. I didn't want to have to look at myself. I didn't want to see my pathetic trembling. I didn't want to have to see my ugly body...my hips have a little fat over them to make them bulge out...my stomach looks ugly and fat...just like all those kids said. I'm just a fat and ugly piece of shit...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Worthless, ugly, clingy, disgusting," I was cut off by the sobs that came bursting through my soar throat. God, why couldn't I have just died before? They wouldn't have to look at me...the wouldn't have to see this thing...they wouldn't have to see me.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I shuddered remembering that Shuichi was going to come home. He was going to pull me into a hug...I felt sick...I don't want him to touch me. He shouldn't be touching me...I'm so repulsive and filthy...and he is so perfect and kindhearted...he shouldn't talk to me at all...much less be my boyfriend...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I pulled at my hair. I can't do this...I'm so exhausted from all this crying...why am I even crying? I keep crying over the same thing...so weak of me to do...I'm so stupid...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Why would he care about me? Why do I keep falling for the same lies? What does I care about you mean? What does I love you even mean? Does Shuichi mean it when he says it to me? Of course, he doesn't...why would he?...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Shuichi...I'm sorry for not being good enough...I have never been good enough...never worth anything...I'm so repulsive...so disgusting...so unlovable...you should just leave me..." I felt more tears come to my eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"And why would I do that Kichi?" Arms wrapped around my shoulders pulling me into a comforting embrace, except I didn't let the warm feeling come to my heart. He raised my hood from my face letting his hand linger on my back. It trailed down my back and soon settled on my waist.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Because...I'm disgusting," I pushed him away but because I had been crying it was a weak push and didn't do much. He slightly pulled away and caressed my cheek with his hand. I pulled away not wanting him to have to touch my fat and filthy body...god I hate this. Shuichi just stop...you're only hurting yourself...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"But baby, you aren't, you are so beautiful, your hair is so pretty and your eyes are absolutely adorable especially the way you act! You are so special to me!!" He kissed me all over my face and smiled. "I love you Kichi, my love, I love you so fucking much," He kept smothering me with affection but I only stiffened...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Kokichi, calm down, I love you and nothing can change that...I love you for you and no one and nothing can change that, my adorable baby, my Kichi," He grabbed a blanket that was at the base of the bed and wrapped it around my shoulders and wrapped his arms around me holding me close to his chest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Koki, look at me," I felt myself flinch at his words...I was avoiding having to make him look in my eyes...they are so gross... "Kichi," He gently pulled my chin towards him to make me face him. I closed my eyes before slowly opening them to see Shuichi smiling at me like I was the rarest beauty in the world.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I turned away only to have my lips captured in his before I could even turn my head. It was a gentle kiss and it finally made me let the feeling of warmth warm my heart. The overwhelming love Shuichi has for me and the adoration I have for him. I love him and he loves me. Why do I let myself forget? He would never leave me.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Kichi you must be exhausted. Seeing all the tissues on the floor...you must have been crying for a while...I'm sorry I took so long...Kaito would not stop talking if anything I was lucky I got away as early as I did." He laughed a bit before picking me up and planting a sweet kiss on my forehead.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Whenever Shuichi is holding me it makes me forget how terrible I feel...he has a way of making all my thoughts go away. He loves me and he is being honest about it. He holds me like I'm the only person in the room that matters. Like I'm the only one he sees.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Do you want to watch something?" He already brought me to the bed and brought over some of my favorite ice cream. I smiled and slowly sat up. I still felt groggy from crying for so long. I'm positive my eyes are all red and puffy still...and repulsive to look at.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah, we should finish watching your lie in April," I whispered as he took his spot next to me before pulling me into his arms. I sat with my back against his chest as his arms rested around my waist. "That's a great idea," He started the last episode we had been watching. I was crying by the end, but Shuichi kept giving me small kisses here and there reminding me how much he loves me.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm glad you are my boyfriend Shu," I kissed him before letting myself melt into his arms. "I'm glad you are my lover Kichi," His lips brushed against my knuckles before he spoke again. "I love you,"</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"Those were the only words I ever wanted to hear. Thanks for saying them to me...genuinely. I never thought I would get what I wanted...until I met you...I love you Shuichi Saihara."</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <b>-I have been having a weird day today...so here's some angst? Thank you all so much for reading!!-</b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>-ShuichiOuma010-</em>
  </b>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0070"><h2>70. Scars {Angst}</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>
    <em>T/W intense themes of depression, self-harm, and attempted suicide. This is a warning.</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <span>All these scars...I wasn't born with them...they came from all the pain others have caused me...I know most of them came from myself...but it was always because of all the mental torment others were putting me through...on a daily basis...I'm tired of your bullshit! All the fucking lies you tell me! Calling me heartless! Calling me selfish! The one thing I have always wanted I can't have. You make me want it more every day you talk to me! All the things you let go unsaid...all the lies you always tell making me want to watch myself burn down in hell.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It all hurts too much! I don't want you anymore! I don't want to be me anymore! I want to be fucking dead! But I can't...you know why? Because all of your damn lies...I have to stay here with all these scars...the constant reminders of what I want...what I wished I got...but you still smile at me like I'm happy! You still act as though this whole thing is fine!! God! I'm done with it! JUST SHUT UP!!</span>
</p><p>
  <span>All these scars on my arms and legs...back and chest...they are all so disgusting...no one would live someone with this many scars...I swear...they are so gross...everyone always calls me weak of disgusting for having so many...and they always give me more...or make me get more from myself...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Kokichi! Please!" I hear your past screams echoing in my mind. Of all the times that I told you about past trauma...past retreats...you wanted me to be honest but I know better than that...the truth hurts and I know no one else wants to hear mine! I have to be quiet and courteous of others. Silencing my screams for others to listen! Just so you can live on without worry. I take all the pain on myself at let you live without it...I drown in puddles of my own tears as you are going around and laughing with your friends!! You don't even care that I'm alive! You never cared...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"This is what I want," I whispered to myself as the blood was now dripping off of my arms. This is where it ends...today is the day I'm done...with all of this...you, me, and everyone else...my arms aches because of the cuts I have caused myself to have. I deserve this. Every part of this. It's all my fault. I'm a lying bastard and everyone hates me...and I can't say I don't feel the same...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Silence filled my room as my thoughts calmed in my head. This is what it feels like to die...this is what it feels like to be dead...I want to be dead...then you can live without a burden...without me... "I wanted to tell you that I loved you Shuichi...so much..." I closed my eyes and let my breathing slow. It feels calm like this...I won't have to wake up again...I won't have to talk to them again...I won't have to see myself again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Kokichi! Wake up!" I heard a voice yell at me. I didn't move at all I didn't want to have to live anymore. I could feel them kiss my forehead whispering things into my ear as they started to bandage my wounds. I felt so groggy I didn't even try to open my eyes...I don't want to see who came for me...they are probably only pitying me anyway...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Kokichi you have to breathe for me ok?" I could tell they started crying. But why would they cry for me? What do they want from me? Why are they crying? "Please, please! Open your eyes!" They yelled pulling me into an embrace after they finished bandaging my arms.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>My eyes fluttered open and I looked over at them. "S-Shuichi..." I croaked with a cough. My throat feels so gross...it hurts so much...my head started to pound again...banging against my skull making me want to scream and make them leave so I can go...I can go to the clouds...I can finally be free...please...just let me die.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Kokichi! Oh my god! I'm glad you are ok! I thought I lost you! Don't do that ever again!!" He yelled before he cried onto my shoulder again. I felt guilty about doing this...but why? I wanted this right? The person I love shouldn't change that...but what if I want to stay...because of him?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You should have told me! Are you ok?" He pulled back and looked me in my foggy eyes. I felt exhausted and I wanted to just go to sleep...for a long time...his eyes were all red as well as his cheeks...he was really crying for me? What the hell is wrong with him?! Doesn't he know how terrible I am?! How bad I am for him?! How much I have hurt him?!</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No, you shouldn't have come for me..." I whispered hating how much my throat hurt. He frowned and kissed me on my cheeks. "I'm sorry I didn't come here before...I'm sorry for making you feel this way...I know it's my fault..." I put my hand to his cheek. I went to tell him 'no it's ok' but fell asleep on his chest before I got the chance.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When I woke up I felt his arms around me again. "Shuichi? Why are you-" He cut me off by putting his hand on my lips. "I love you Kokichi. I don't want you to get hurt...so I'm going to stay by your side from now on...if that's ok with you?" He asked combing his fingers through my hair making me shudder into his touch. "Shuichi, I love you too...I had no idea that you..." I let my voice trail off so I didn't let this nervous feeling consume me.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"That I love you so much," He whispered into my ear before pulling me into a gentle kiss. "Rest now love, I know you're tired," He pulled me into his arms and pulled me close to his chest. It was calming to hear his breathing. Maybe living with all these scars isn't so bad... "I love you." He kissed my lips again. I felt myself smile before I let myself melt into his touch.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>-Today...is not a great day for me...I'm pretty sure I messed things up with my best friend...I should have been more supportive...anyway. Thank you all so much for reading!!-</b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>-ShuichiOuma010-</em>
  </b>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0071"><h2>71. If Only I Could Tell You {Angst}</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>
    <span>Friends</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>What does it mean to have a friend?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Are we friends?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Or are we something more?...</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah, it was fucking crazy!" Kokichi laughed while Shuichi was holding his sides because they hurt from laughing so much. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Then after that, the craziest shit happened! My friend the one who never knows when to shut his mouth told her to her face to fuck off! And her expression was screaming what the fuck?! It was so funny I almost died laughing!" Kokichi slapped his hand on his knee before continuing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"She looked so offended that I laughed at them! I almost felt bad but I was laughing so hard I couldn't stop!" Shuichi gasped trying to catch his breath before he started laughing again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"My sides hurt!" Shuichi said in between his laughter. Kokichi smiled and let himself feel happy with his best friend. He and Shuichi have been friends ever since they met in elementary school. They both had similar interests and were always hanging out with each other. Laughing and talking at lunch. They would always give each other hugs and hold hands when they walked anywhere...they were the best of friends...but then that all changed...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>.   .   .</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Um, Shuichi!" Kokichi felt his cheeks heat up. He hasn't felt this nervous in a long time...but he needs to get this off of his chest...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kokichi has always felt a deep connection with Shuichi. Kokichi didn't understand what he felt towards him...but it was definitely more than just a crush...he didn't want to scare Shuichi off with his feelings...but he knew that he wouldn't judge him. He was more worried about making things awkward for the both of them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was always there for him and always there when other people always despised him. They always laughed together and could talk about anything. They were always there for each other when things got hard. Shuichi knows that Kokichi has had depression for a long time...and when he almost killed himself he cried a lot...while Kokichi was in a hospital to get his head back into a better place Shuichi felt so alone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When he came back Shuichi was the first one to come and visit him. He was the first one to try to be better for him. That made his heart burst. He was always there to talk to him when he went back to that dark place.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah, Kokichi? Do you need anything?" Shuichi looked concerned as he walked over to Kokichi placing a hand on his shoulder. Kokichi looked up at him hesitantly. He had been trying to tell him what has been consuming his thoughts for months...but could never bring himself to it out of fear of rejection.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I love you! And I...was wondering if you would be my boyfriend?!" Kokichi yelled making both of there faces go red. "I really like you as well Kokichi, Yeah! We can be boyfriends!" Kokichi's heart burst at the feeling of relief and love for Shuichi. But what he didn't know was that this was all a big mistake...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>.   .   .</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kokichi was sitting in his room feeling lonely. He wasn't new to this feeling seeing as all of his supposed 'friends' left him when they found out about all of the things that were wrong with him. This time he was feeling lonely because his boyfriend was traveling and couldn't text that much...it has been a month since they have gotten together and they haven't kissed, gone on a date, cuddled, or talked much...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kokichi wanted to do all of those things with Shuichi...but he was afraid of doing something wrong so he would lose Shuichi...and out of all the things he could lose...losing Shuichi would be the worst thing to lose out of all of them...</span>
</p><p>
  <b>23:01  Shumai: Sorry for not texting today. I have been busy with traveling. I will be pretty busy tomorrow as well. Talk on Monday?</b>
</p><p>
  <b>23:01  Kichi: Yeah, that's fine! See you then! Love you!</b>
</p><p>
  <b>23:34  Shumai: Love you too.</b>
</p><p>
  <span>Fresh tears fell out of his eyes and he cried silently into his knees. This has been a daily occurrence ever since they have been together. He always felt so worthless and unimportant because Shuichi was always to busy for him...he never had time for him at all. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>'Maybe I shouldn't have told him my true feelings...before we could just talk over the phone all the time...but now he is acting like he is afraid to talk to me...or do anything with me. I should have known...I really am unlovable.' He thought before crying himself asleep again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>.   .   .</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Getting out of bed was a pain...he didn't want to move. Because he knew that if he woke up he would have to deal with all his thoughts...he feels so tired just wanting to be done... 'Maybe getting together with him is making him feel awkward...maybe I should just break it off...tell him were better as friends...' His heart snapped at the thought...but he knew it was better this way...better for both of them...</span>
</p><p>
  <b>22:13 Calling Shumai</b>
</p><p>
  <b>ring</b>
</p><p>
  <b>ring</b>
</p><p>
  <b>ring </b>
</p><p>
  <b>call failed</b>
</p><p>
  <b>22:59 Calling Shumai</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Ring</b>
</p><p>
  <b>ring</b>
</p><p>
  <b>ring</b>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"Hey Kichi! Are you doing alright? Sorry I couldn't pick up your calls...I was in the middle of some shopping."</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"Hey Shu, I needed to tell you that...I don't think that I'm ready for a relationship yet and I don't want to make things awkward between us."</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"Alright, I don't want to make you uncomfortable."</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"Ok, well talk to you later then."</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"Yeah, I love you Kichi."</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"Love you too."</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <b>23:05 Call ended </b>
</p><p>
  <span>"God, I'm such a liar...I hate myself..." He curled up into his hoodie putting the hood over his eyes. He didn't want to have to see anymore...he didn't want to see his pathetic useless self...he didn't want to see anything...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His heart ached for the next week or so...but after a while they went back to being friends like they were before, holding hands when walking down the street, giving each other hugs whenever they had to leave each other, giving each other nicknames...all of this played with Kokichi's heart...making him think they were something more...but then it happened.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>.   .   .</span>
</p><p>
  <b>21:10 Kichi: Hey, how are you doing?</b>
</p><p>
  <b>21:15 Shumai: I'm doing great! I got a girlfriend half a month ago!</b>
</p><p>
  <b>21:15 Kichi: Oh? When did this happen?</b>
</p><p>
  <b>21:16 Shumai: We met online sometime in December and she is super cool! I know you are going to get along great! </b>
</p><p>
  <b>21:16 Kichi: What is her name? How old is she?</b>
</p><p>
  <b>21:17 Shumai: Her name is Kaede! And she is 19 years old.</b>
</p><p>
  <b>21:17 Kichi: Do your parents know about this?</b>
</p><p>
  <b>21:17 Shumai: Yeah, told them a week ago and they are ok with it! She is going to move here sometime as well!</b>
</p><p>
  <b>21:18 That's great!</b>
</p><p>
  <b>21:18 Shumai: Maybe you could come over to meet her sometime!</b>
</p><p>
  <b>21:18 Kichi: Yeah, sounds fun</b>
</p><p>
  <b>21:19 Shumai: Great! Gtg now! Talk tomorrow Kichi!</b>
</p><p>
  <b>21:19 Kichi: Later.</b>
</p><p>
  <span>His heart broke...3 months after their 'relationship' ended he goes to get a girlfriend?! He really wasn't good enough for love...why did he believe it was real? A 19-year-old online girlfriend...when he already had a 15-year-old best friend that loved him. They are both 15 turning 16 years old in about 5 months...Was he really not good enough...?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>.   .   .</span>
</p><p>
  <b>10:11 Kichi: Hey Shushu! How are you doing today?</b>
</p><p>
  <b>10:32 Shumai: I'm doing great! What about you?</b>
</p><p>
  <b>10:32 Kichi: I'm doing alright! Wanna hang out today?</b>
</p><p>
  <b>10:35 Shumai: Sure! That sounds fun! We can talk about my girlfriend!! Maybe you can even meet her today!</b>
</p><p>
  <b>10:35 Kichi: Alright! Be over in 5!</b>
</p><p>
  <b>10:37 Shumai: See you then!</b>
</p><p>
  <span>Kokichi walked over to Shuichi's house. It didn't take that long seeing as he only lived down the block. He wondered what he had to tell him...why wouldn't he just text him about it? Who knows, maybe something happened with his parents or something?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>.   .   .</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hello, Kichi!" Shuichi pulled him into a hug before they went to his room to hang out. They always watched anime together or worked on some art. Sometimes they even worked on animations together. They were also working on a murder mystery screenplay together.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kokichi loved hanging out with Shuichi! It was always a way he could get away from all the worries and troubles with everyone at home and school. Hanging out with him was like the one thing he always looked forward to.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"So, your girlfriend?" He asked feeling his heart sink again. He wasn't able to stop crying all day and all night...he just hoped that Shuichi wouldn't notice his tear-stained cheeks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Right, here is a picture of her!" Kokichi could see him smile...he had a genuine smile on his face...but when they were together...he doesn't know if he was being genuine towards him.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She was absolutely beautiful...definitely more pretty than Kokichi felt...he never liked what he looked like and this just made him hate himself so much more.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Nice!" He put on another fake smile. He didn't want Shuichi to have to deal with a clingy and jealous friend...he should be supporting them...right now he needs a supportive friend. So, that's exactly what Kokichi vowed to be for him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>.   .   .</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After weeks he was always talking about her...and Kokichi just had to wear the same smile. This is great...Kokichi felt more suicidal than he has in a long time...he thought Shuichi was going to help his depression...ease his pain...but he did the opposite...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"God, I wish I could just tell him!" He screamed to himself in his room. He was feverishly writing in his notebook trying to calm the thoughts swarming around in his head. Line after line, word after word, more tears came tumbling down his cheeks soon staining the pages. Every time he told someone about it they all said the same thing...just be honest with him. Honesty is what got him into this mess and he was certain it was not going to get him out of it...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>'Maybe I should just be honest...just try...at least...'</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Kichi: Hey.</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Shumai: Hey, how are you doing today?</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Kichi: Fine.</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Shumai: Are you doing ok?</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Kichi: I said I was fine. What about you? How was your day?</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Shumai: It was alright. But are you really doing ok?</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Kichi: I haven't been being honest with you...I wanted to know is Kaede a replacement for me?</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Shumai: No! She could never replace you!</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Kichi: Why did you feel you needed him?</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Shumai: I'm not sure, maybe because he can understand things that I can't</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Kichi: Do you have feelings for me?</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Shumai: Yes, I have before, a while back we called and you said you weren't ready so I didn't want to push anything on you that'd make you feel unsafe around me</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Kichi: I just felt like the whole time it was just a fucking joke to you and when he came it just told me that I wasn't good enough for you then or now</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Shumai: I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you feel like you are less, because you're not.</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Kichi: But I really am...I mess everything up at one point with everyone. I'm just terrible at everything and I can't do anything right. That's why I try my best to be kind to others and put their priorities above mine so they don't have a heavy load...because they deserve to not have burdens and I deserve to have them all...</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Shumai: In my eyes, you aren't less than me, you my equal or even my superior, I look up to you and I'm excited when you text me every day, you always have a plan and know what to do, even if you aren't in the best place right now, I still think you are amazing. Because you're strong and I want to help you in any way I can. I really do, I want to lift some of your burdens, I want you to be able to be happy too because honestly, you deserve it, you deserve all of it no matter what.</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Kichi: I'm sorry I just have a hard time seeing why people like me so much. Why they get attached to me when I don't see anything other than a weak and pathetic boy?</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Shumai: It's natural for us to look down on ourselves, even I do it, I might not even be that great at helping you, but I do want to try.</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Kichi: Ok, um, thank you</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Shumai: I'm also sorry if I make things worse</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Kichi: You don't make things worse...it's mostly just my own head. And honestly, I have no clue what I need from other people because I have been doing things on my own for so long...</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Shumai: I know how that is, difficult sometimes to know what you want</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Kichi: Yeah...sorry for sounding so accusing earlier...</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Shumai: It's alright don't blame yourself for it all</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Kichi: Ok.</b>
</p><p>
  <span>"Maybe I should cut myself again...would that make any of this better?" Kokichi asked no one as he sat alone in his room. His phone was thrown across the room while he cried into his knees while his back was against the wall.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Why do you do this to me? Why do I still love you?! I should have never-" He cut himself off with his own sobs letting the exhaustion finally take over as he passed out again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>.   .   .</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shuichi hasn't been texting Kokichi after a hard conversation they had the day before...he wasn't texting him either because it hurt too much...he didn't want to lose his friend...but he already feels like he has lost him...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I have to lie again...I call him and just be my old self...because that's what he wants...I can't die yet anyway..." He whispered getting into his hoodie and shorts pulling out his phone. </span>
</p><p>
  <b>No notifications</b>
</p><p>
  <span>"Awesome...I love that no one would know if I was dead if I died right now...I feel so loved..."</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Kichi: I need to talk to you. I'm going to call you at 14:30.</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Shumai: Ok, was giving you two days of space a bad idea?</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Kichi: No it wasn't...we can talk about it on the phone.</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Shumai: Ok.</b>
</p><p>
  <span>He felt sick...he didn't want to lie to Shuichi but he knew he had to...he would rather be friends with Shuichi than not having him in his life at all. The whole day went in slow motion...he didn't want to have to do anything...eating has been getting harder as all of this happened...and almost every night he cried wishing he could die.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Calling Shumai</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Ring </b>
</p><p>
  <b>ring</b>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"Hey."</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"Hey,"</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"So I wanted to tell you that over the past few weeks I realized that I was just acting like an idiot. I thought our friendship was something else when it wasn't so it was just a misunderstanding"</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"Oh, I thought I wasn't being a good friend...I thought I hurt you."</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"No, you didn't, I was just confused!"</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"Ok, um so how are you doing?"</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"I'm doing great! How has your homework been going?"</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"It's been going great! I have almost finished all of it so we can hang out again!"</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"That sounds great!"</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"Well, I'll get working on that then!"</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"Later!"</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"Bye Kichi!"</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <b>Call Ended</b>
</p><p>
  <span>.   .   .</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The next couple of weeks they texted over the phone like they used to. Talking about anime and homework and stupid things they or a friend of theirs did...only Kokichi didn't have any friends...because after all of this he never wanted to have to have a friend again. He was just there to make others' lives easier. No one was there for him...not now or even before...he has never had anyone and he never will.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He is going to be Shuichi's wingman while he has friends and a girlfriend to take his place...maybe when Shuichi realizes that he isn't good enough for him he can finally have nothing he has to wake up for...then maybe he could finally die...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"That sounds nice," Kokichi said as another tear ran down his cheek. "We are just friends, and that's how it is always going to be..."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was never going to be able to get rid of the feelings he has for Shuichi, but Shuichi already got rid of the ones he had for him...and Kokichi...just had to accept that and move on...</span>
</p><p>
  <b>-Sorry for the angst...but my life isn't going great and it never really has been ok. But I just have to accept that...and until I can I will still have my 'friend' Thank you all so much for reading!!-</b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>-ShuichiOuma010-</em>
  </b>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0072"><h2>72. If Only I Could Tell You {Fluff/Angst} [Part 2]</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>
    <span>Getting up every day is painful.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>The agonizing pain of having to get up every day and do the same shit every day...it makes it all seem pointless.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Lying to make others smile.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I feel so disgusting doing all of this.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>All of this for people who have never cared for me.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Everyone thought Kokichi was doing great. They never saw him without a smile and Shuichi thought that his depression was getting better...but like most times they are all wrong.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Every day it is a battle that he has to fight himself debating whether or not he should just give in and cut over all his old scars. Every day is a fight with his mind screaming that he should just off himself, but he can't.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Why can't you just do it Kokichi? Are you too weak?" Kokichi looked up at the figure standing in front of him. He has always had hallucinations ever since he was younger but when he was younger they were different...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>. . .</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"Kokichi! Come on!" Anaki held out her hand to him. He smiled and chased after her until he reached her hand. She pulled him to the ground and they both fell down in the middle of the field of grass close to his house.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"So, how was school today?" Anaki was the only one Kokichi talked to when he was younger...well talked honestly anyway...</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He was always talking. Telling crazy stories to get people who finally notice him and telling himself lies about other people's actions towards him. "Well, Kaito and Kaede gave me a hard time again...and all my friends just joined in with them..." He frowned and wiped away the tears coming to his eyes.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Anaki made her way over and wrapped her arms around him. "It's alright! You don't need people like them! When you have all of us!" She smiled at him and pulled away to rub his shoulders. 'Yeah, I have all my friends with me and they will all follow me till the end.' He thought before he stood up with a proud smile.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"We should go and find the others!" He exclaimed grabbing her hand and running through the field with her yet again.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>. . .</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>'If only you guys were still here with me...' He thought smiling at the memory. "Are you going to answer me?!" The figure yelled. Kokichi had only started seeing this figure around Junior High...he hasn't seen him in a while and he didn't want to have to see him ever again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His friends were the ones to drag him away from Kokichi last time...but seeing that he was back...maybe his friends really are never going to come back for him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I just can't," He replied weakly. He was slumped against the wall with his knees to his chest...he was too exhausted to move and felt like he was going to cry again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"But why can't you?" The figure yelled again sliding him a knife. Kokichi knew the knife wasn't really there along with the figure...but it felt so real...and he hated how much he wanted to just take the blade and cut himself again...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He wanted to be in control of the pain he was feeling. He couldn't control the emotional and mental pain everyone else was giving him...but he knew if he hurt himself physically then he would be in control.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What will it be Kokichi? Be too weak and pathetic and carry on with your useless assistance or join the rest of your friend when you come with me." He knew what he meant by that. He had always wanted to take Kokichi's life away but always kept him around because he loves to watch him suffer.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I have to stay...I can't make Shuichi's life harder because I can't accept things..." He had been staying in his room a lot more than he would have wanted. But it was so hard to come out of his room and put on the same damn smile he always wore.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Wow, do you think you're some kind of hero?" He scoffed and grabbed Kokichi by the cheek. "Cause if you thought that you're wrong like you always are~," He cooed in the same tone of voice he always used when he was about to hurt him. Kokichi braced for the worst and only felt a small cut on his arm. He was confused by this...because </span>
  <em>
    <span>he </span>
  </em>
  <span>would never just let him go with a cut.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Kokichi! Could you come to help me with this?" His mom was calling from downstairs. He knew he had to get up and put on the same smile again. He groaned and pulled himself to his feet. He felt so soar from all of this...it hurt to just stand. His depression just wanted to pull him back to the ground so he could just sit there and rot.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yes, of course," His voice was sad but he quickly hid it as he went down the stairs...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>. . .</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Shumai: I'm back now, and are you okay with moving our hang out time to 3:30 or 4? I was checking my homework just now and found more math.</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Kichi: It's alright! That's fine!</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Shumai: I'll make sure we hang out today though! So, don't worry.</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Kichi: No it's ok! Don't worry about me!</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Shumai: I really want to hang out with you though and I know you want to as well, so I'll get as much done as I can, then at 3:30 we will hang out for sure!</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Kichi: Don't stress yourself out about it! It's really ok!!</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Shumai: Thanks Kichi</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Kichi: Of course!</b>
</p><p>
  <span>Kokichi threw his phone across the room for the third time today. "He lied again..." Shuichi had been busy for the past year almost and they haven't been able to hang out at all...Shuichi always said he had time for Kokichi, but always ended up ditching at the last minute.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kokichi has always had problems with people changing their plans last minute or ditching them completely...but with Shuichi it was always different...it was always different...until now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I should have known..." He slumped back against the wall and let himself cry for the 6th time that day. It was silent, bitter tears because he couldn't bother other people with his pathetic problems.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was always told he was weak for his stature and by the voices that always tormented his head. Yelling at him telling him he could never do anything right...always guilting himself for screwing up his chances with Shuichi.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The most painful thing was that they could have been together if he was more honest with his feelings when they were 'dating'. But he couldn't even do that...what a useless, pathetic loser...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Now you're are finally getting it Kichi~" He flinched at the use of the nickname Shuichi gave him at the beginning of high school. "Don't call me that!" He screamed putting his hands over his ears. He didn't know if the scream left his lips or was just echoing throughout his broken mind...but he didn't care either way.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm sensing some hostility~ I am you Kokichi and you will never be able to get rid of me~," Kokichi teared up again because he knew it was true. Just like all the other versions of himself that come out to talk to him...some of them were nice...but others were cruel and only wanted to inflict pain on his breaking heart.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Look at me! Or are you too scared to see what you will become if you give in!" The other Kokichi had raggedy hair and was in a straight jacket...he was also missing his right eye.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kokichi knew what he was talking about...when he was younger it was all he was afraid of...himself and what he would become...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You are getting boring~! Welp I will be off~!" He smirked as he left Kokichi alone in his room again. "Anaki, Akari, Miyoki, Marki, Jodian, Seban, Naoki, Michiko, and Riko...I miss all of you...and it's my fault that you are gone...I'm sorry..."</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Shumai: I'm ready to hang out! Come over when you are ready</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Kichi: Ok!! I'm on my way!!</b>
</p><p>
  <span>He didn't want to have to go over there because he knew that he was going to be texting her the whole time...but he got up anyway and fixed his hair and wiped his cheeks before grabbing his jacket and leaving.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>. . .</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The walk there wasn't eventful other than some older folks that tried to start a conversation with him. There are a lot of older folks in his neighborhood and most of them know his mom so they 'know' him. The walk to Shuichi's house isn't far because he only lives down the block from him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He avoided talking to the older people and went up to his doorstep. He answered the door as he usually did when they hung out before. "Hello Kichi!" He exclaimed before letting me into his house. Soon after I went in he closed the door and led me to the game room downstairs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Want to play some Mario cart?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>. . .</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Look at this." Shuichi was watching a baking video while Kokichi was resting his head on his shoulder and his arm on his leg. They would always do this before and it wasn't weird for them but the whole time Kokichi was trying to conceal the blush that wanted to come to his cheeks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He loved the feeling of his warmth from next to him. It made him feel loved...but he knew that having these feelings for him would only make things worse...if he couldn't stop loving Shuichi...when Kaede would move closer and they would be hugging and kissing each other...it might kill him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He let those thoughts leave his mind as he rested against Shuichi. They stayed like that for the rest of the time they were together. But eventually Kokichi's phone buzzed and cut off the moment when he had to leave. He didn't want to leave Shuichi's embrace...he was hella touch starved and it felt amazing being able to be that close to him...but he knew it wouldn't last...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"See you later Kichi!" He hugged Kokichi before he left for his house. Kokichi smiled as he walked away from the porch. 'Maybe just having moments like those more often- No! He has a girlfriend! You can't!' He hated hearing the word 'you can't' again. It was always something he couldn't do...not for any real reason just for the reason of himself stopping himself for no reason...and he hated it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Shuichi," Kokichi whispered to himself as he walked back to the field instead of going back home. He sent his mom a brief message of where he would be before he came home. With that, he walked back to the grassy field from his childhood. It was the exact same as when he left it when he was younger other than the longer grass.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Anaki," He said as he ran over to where they would lay and talk on the grass for hours. Those were the best moments of his life. The ones he got to spend with his friends. When Shuichi came around he didn't hang out with them as much because Shuichi would come with him and they would always hang out together.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He always treated Kokichi like a normal person no matter what. When Kokichi would talk to himself when he was talking to one of his friends Shuichi just asked him who it was and talked to them like they were really there with him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was always making sure that Kokichi was comfortable when he was with him. That's why he didn't make any moves when they were together because he didn't want to hurt him. This face just made Kokichi love him even more.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I love you Shuichi more than the air we breathe. You are the breath of fresh air to get me back on my feet...but unlike the love stories of our childhood the ones we would find in those old dusty books in the back of the library...they all had happy endings, but what we need to understand is that" He paused and took some grass in his hand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Some stories don't have happy endings," The grass blew away in the wind. Like these two lovers...maybe in another place and time, they will be able to find their happiness, but we can never know.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There is always going to be a world were two lovers never meet and where two lovers know each other but didn't take the chance and lost it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"So don't let this make you give up...maybe sometime in the future things will change for you."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>// l a t e r \\</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hey, Kokichi I know it's late but I wanted to talk to you." Kokichi couldn't believe his ears. "Really? You called me?" Kokichi wiped his tears and sniffled into the phone. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah, I broke it off with Kaede. She still wants to come here to be friends with us...but you are more important to me than her. Because I still have feelings for you." Kokichi didn't believe what he heard. "You do?" Kokichi felt his face inflame.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I don't know why I wanted to date Kaede in the first place. Maybe it was because she was older and knew things I didn't...but now I know that you are what I need. The idea of losing you hurt me a lot more than the idea of losing her." Kokichi tried to stop him because he wanted Shuichi to be happy even if it was with her. He couldn't shake the feeling that he broke them up. "But-"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No, you don't have to say anything. I noticed something was off and I didn't do anything about it. I'm sorry. Can we try to be together again? I know this may be soon...but I want to be better for you..." Kokichi could tell he was on the brink of tears. "I would love to! After all this time I have wanted to tell you that I love you Shuichi!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was a moment of silence before Shuichi spoke again. "Could I come over...I want to see you..." He whispered into the phone. Kokichi blushed before he gave him a small yes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After a couple of minutes of Kokichi laying in the grass before Shuichi showed up and laid next to him. "Hey," He said quietly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hey," Kokichi whispered smiling to himself. "The sunset looks nicer with you here with me," Shuichi whispered and laid his body closer to Kokichi. He snaked his arms around Kokichi's waist and pulled his head onto his chest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm sorry for not making you feel loved last time." He sighed into his hair. Kokichi nuzzled closer to him content with the quiet. "It's alright...I'm just glad I have lived to be here with you now..." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Me too," He went quiet before pinning Kokichi to the ground. It wasn't sexual...it was more endearing. "I love you and I have always have," Kokichi smiled at him as he lowered his lips towards Kokichi's. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I love you too...forever and always." Shuichi closed the gap between them. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"Some things are just worth waiting for"</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <b>-Here is the long-awaited part 2!! I hope it is what you wanted it to be! I tried my best for you guys!! Thank you all so much for reading!!-</b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>-ShuichiOuma010-</em>
  </b>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0073"><h2>73. Stalker {Fluff/Angst}</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Kokichi has been acting off for weeks. Shuichi could already tell that he was...but other people were starting to catch on. He had started being more cut off from everyone else. Shuichi was already worried but then he revived a text message that made everything worse.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Kichi- Shuichi could you come over, please.</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Shu- Yeah, on my way now, what's wrong?</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Kichi- I'll tell you when you get here...please hurry.</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kokichi was sitting on his bed staring at his phone with grief in his eyes. He was trying to ignore the overflowing messages that kept coming to his phone. It was always from an unknown number but they were all the same.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>?- Hey, you look cute when you are sleeping</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>?-Don't you think I deserve some response love?</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>?-I don't deserve to be ignored after all this time!</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>?-I can tell you're scared of me. But there is nothing to fear because you are absolutely adorable I could never hurt you~</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>?- You have a nice body love~ maybe we can put it to use~</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kokichi felt like crying. He didn't like having to live alone while this was going on. He knew that Shuichi was planning to move in with him...but god he wished that he was already there with him. He wished more than anything that he could have been there sooner.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Shuichi on the other hand was worried. And not just worried he was scared of why Kokichi was acting totally out of character. He quickly grabbed his keys after getting the message from him and quickly drove over to his apartment.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He slowly made his way into Kokichi's apartment and opened the door. He knew Kokichi was on edge so right after he did this he called out to him. "Kokichi it's me where are you?" He asked getting a quick answer. "I'm up in my room..." Kokichi yelled just barely loud enough for Shuichi to hear him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Filled with concern Shuichi made his way up to Kokichi's room expecting the worst. When he got up there he saw Kokichi sitting on his bed with his face buried into his knees. His phone was clutched in his shaking hand.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Hey, what's wrong?" He cooed wrapping his arms around his shaking boyfriend. Kokichi just gave Shuichi his phone. Shuichi was confused but unlocked his phone to the endless messages from this unknown number.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Shuichi felt himself get angry that someone would do this to his Kichi...he tried his best to not sound angry at his boyfriend. "How long has this been going on?" He asked in a calm tone. Kokichi still flinched at his words. "A couple months. I'm sorry I didn't tell you I-" Shuichi cut him off by pulling him into his chest.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I can understand why you didn't tell me...I'm just glad you told me before something happened...I love you so much Kichi and I want you to feel safe..." He paused feeling some tears coming to his eyes. "I would have fucking died if something happened to you," Kokichi giggled at his comment. Shuichi was glad he was able to get his boyfriend laughing again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Why don't you go take a shower and then we can get some rest, okay?" Kokichi nodded and went into the bathroom to take a shower. Luckily his bathroom had no windows so neither of them had to worry about that.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>First off Shuichi went into Kokichi's phone to the contact he made for all the random numbers that kept texting him. He assumed that when Kokichi blocked him the person must have started texting him from a new number.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He made sure that on Kokichi's phone no new numbers could text him unless he put in their number as well. After that, he made his way downstairs.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Shuichi made sure to go and check if all the security systems were working. He was a detective in training so he knew what to look for when someone could break in to take something...or someone...</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He made sure all the doors and windows were locked and he made sure that the security system was online and working. After doing all that he made his way back up to Kokichi's room and took off his jacket and set it on a chair. Shuichi was already getting ready to rest for the day so he was already in sweatpants and a T-shirt.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kokichi came out of the bathroom dressed in a panda onesie that Shuichi got him for his birthday last year. Shuichi opened his arms so Kokichi could come and cuddle with him. Kokichi accepted the gesture and climbed into his lap. Kokichi still felt on edge and Shuichi could tell...so he pulled him closer to his chest and used the towel wrapped around his neck to dry his hair. It was already mostly dry but it was still damp.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Do you want to watch something before we go to bed?" Shuichi grabbed the remote from the bedside table and handed it to Kokichi. Kokichi smiled and nodded. "Let's watch Seraph of the End!" He exclaimed. Shuichi laughed time himself knowing that Kokichi and he have already watched this anime about 100+ times. It's not that he didn't like it he just thought it was adorable when Kokichi got this excited for something.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Alright," Kokichi started the first episode again. When Shuichi was done drying his hair he started to rub Kokichi's back trying to make him feel comfortable in his arms. Kokichi leaned into his touch making Shuichi smile. 'I'm glad he is doing alright now...I would have probably actually died if something happened to him...' Shuichi's thoughts got cut short when Kokichi fell into his chest. He was already asleep.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Shuichi knew it was because of all the stress he has been having lately. He sighed and turned off the TV and pulled Kokichi down into the blankets. He held him close to him and pulled him even closer to feel more comfortable. Kokichi smiled and nuzzles into his chest. Shuichi is glad that they got this all sorted out before anything happened to him...</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I love you more than anything," He whispered before planing a gentle kiss on Kokichi's forehead before he fell asleep.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>-This chapter was written based off of the idea from the chapter stalkerrr in MeowCatKyo Saiouma one-shots book. Also because some people on here are getting this sort of treatment from others. If this happens to you please block and report them. Thank you. You are all wonderful people but don't treat someone else that way because it can make that persons life fall apart.-</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>-ShuichiOuma010-</em>
  </b>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0074"><h2>74. Coffee Shop AU {Fluff}</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>"What would you like today Shuichi?" Rantaro asked Shuichi who was sitting alone in a booth in the coffee shop.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was a cute little coffee shop in the town he lived in. There was a counter with stools around where they made the coffee. Shuichi was sitting in the booths by the sides. The booths were tables with benches around them. They also had cute little displays in the middle of them. They change the display depending on the holiday or the season.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Spring had just started and the cherry blossoms are in bloom. Shuichi loved the spring because it was always so calm by his house and the field down the street. Reading was his favorite thing to do in the spring. It was always so calming when he went to read or even come to the cafe. A lot of people come to the cafe in the morning and during lunch so Shuichi enjoyed going to the cafe later at night.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Just the usual, I have to do more late work again." He sighed putting his hand on the bridge of his nose. Rantaro laughed to himself. "I'll be back in a moment with your order." He left back into the kitchen area and got started on making Shuichi's order. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They have been pilling work on Shuichi for the last couple of months because they know that he would work on it until it was done and be able to get it done in time. Shuichi has had about enough of being the only one who cares about getting the work done.  He has been overworked and it was taking his sleep away...and he was about to pass out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He worked and finished the last paper in one of the stacks he had in front of him as another worker brought Shuichi his order right after he passed out on the table. The worker smiled down at him and gently shook his shoulder to wake him up. "Hey, cutie~! You need to get up I have your order~," The younger boy teased poking his cheek as Shuichi jumped awake. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Ah!" He said before he rubbed his head. He looked over at the smaller male as his eyes focused. It wasn't Rantaro and his name tag said Kokichi. "Kokichi?" He asked still groggy from restlessness. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yup the one and only~!" He said with a cute laugh. Shuichi blushed thinking there was no way this could be real. "Here is your order," He said placing the cup of black coffee in front of him. Kokichi eyed the stack of papers he had curiously and sat down on the bench next to him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"That seems like a lot of work," He said pointing to the papers on the table. Shuichi nodded rubbing his eyes again. Kokichi giggled again and grabbed his hand. "I can help you if you would like! These documents look just like busy work I was always stuck doing before I got this job with Rantaro!" Shuichi was so lost in his eyes that he couldn't focus.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"That would be nice," He sighed handing some of the documents to Kokichi. "Hey, you haven't told me your name beautiful~," Kokichi teased making Shuichi blush. Shuichi put his hand over his mouth before being silent for a moment.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"S-sorry, I'm Shuichi Saihara," He blushed and held out his hand for Kokichi to shake. "I'm Kokichi Oma! Nice to meet you!" He smiled at him and started to get working on some of the documents. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They worked on the documents for hours before eventually, they finished. There were at least 20 finished coffee cups around both of them. Rantaro walked out and saw the tired couple at the table. He chuckled to himself before walking over and putting a hand on Kokichi's shoulder.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm heading out...so lock up when you guys are done," He winked at Kokichi before he left the cafe. Kokichi smiled at Shuichi who looked like he was about to pass out. He walked over to him and helped him get up from the table. They walked to the back room where there was a break room. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The break room had a couch and a table in the middle of the room. There were some other chairs lining the wall but the cafe didn't have that many employees so there wasn't a need for a big break room. Kokichi brought Shuichi into the break room and laid him on the couch. He was already out before they even made it to the break room. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hey Shuichi, you should get some rest before driving home so you can rest here ok," Kokichi got up after brushing Shuichi's bangs out of his face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He sighed to himself and left to lock up the cafe. Rantaro already put all the supplies away in the kitchen. Kokichi locked the doors and flipped the sign to closed before going back to the break room. Shuichi was still resting on the couch. When Kokichi walked in he blushed at how cute Shuichi looked. He loved how cute he looked with his ruffled hair and the peaceful look on his face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm glad I decided to work the night shift tonight," He said to himself sitting on the couch next to Shuichi's feet. Shuichi slowly woke up for a second before he grabbed Kokichi's hand and fell back asleep. Kokichi laughed before he planted a kiss on Shuichi's hand. "Goodnight," He said quietly just letting himself sit there while Shuichi rested.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>.   .   .</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kokichi woke up and felt someone hugging him. He was confused and slowly opened his eyes to see Shuichi there next to him. He jumped slightly before he realized he shouldn't wake Shuichi because he definitely needed sleep. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Nice to see you finally woke up." Kokichi jumped when he heard Rantaro's voice. He turned his head so he could look at him. "So what were you guys doing yesterday~," Rantaro teased winking at Kokichi. Kokichi rolled his eyes at him and scoffed. "We didn't do anything you pervert," Rantaro laughed before he walked over and ruffled his hair.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Just remember you have to work today," He left the room leaving Kokichi and Shuichi alone. Kokichi rolled his eyes again and let his eyes slide closed again. "Rest well Shuichi." He said before letting himself just be hugged by Shuichi.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After a while, Shuichi slowly began to wake up. "Ah, Kokichi..." He said his voice still hoarse from sleep. "Good morning~," He teased while Shuichi processed the situation and soon had a huge blush on his face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"S-sorry!" He yelled quickly getting off the couch. He covered his face with his hands while Kokichi giggled. "Why don't we go out sometime lover boy~," He teased poking his cheek. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah, that sounds nice," Shuichi blushed and let his hands slowly fall down from his face. "Pick me up at 8 ok!" He said kissing his cheek before heading off to work.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shuichi just stood there in shock... "I think I'm in love..." </span>
</p><p>
  <b>-I called my friend Cherry-san yesterday. I almost forgot that she still cared about me...her wifi went out so I mean...anyway, I called her before I had a breakdown and we talked for 2 hours! I felt ok for the first time after Yuuki-san has been...well yeah. Thank you all so much for reading!!-</b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>-ShuichiOuma010-</em>
  </b>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0075"><h2>75. Camping Trip {Fluff/Angst}</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Nature. It's always so calm and quiet. Being able to just smell the refreshing forest scented air. The fresh air filling your lungs letting you finally breathe. That's what we all need every once and a while...to get a breath of fresh air from all the clouded thoughts that the world brings.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rantaro suggested we all go on a camping trip to get the summer started. Kokichi hadn't been the most excited about it but I told him we would go together. That seemed to make him feel better but I could still tell he was off about the whole thing. I didn't say anything because I know that he probably didn't want to talk about it...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Ugh..." I groaned shutting my alarm off. It was already time to start getting ready. There were about two hours before we had to be in the car with the others.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kokichi was shuffling next to me in the bed. I tried to gently shake him awake but he didn't budge. "Kokichi...Kichi...we need to get ready ok?..." He didn't even move. I groaned and got up anyway and started getting dressed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I was going to let him sleep longer because one, I hate waking him up and two, he looks so cute and I don't want to disrupt his peace. I grabbed our bags and began to pack them while Kokichi softly snores. I could tell he was not asleep anymore...and he was probably just pretending so he didn't have to go...or didn't have to help me pack.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I laughed to myself and put my hand to my forehead. This is going to be a long day. "Koki, we need to get going..." I sighed bringing his clothes over to the bed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He groaned and moved farther into the sheets. "Ko-" I started only to be pulled onto the bed with him. He snuggled into my chest again and held me tightly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I tried to pull him off of me but he wouldn't budge. "Kokichi..." I ran my fingers through his hair knowing he loved it when I did that. He sighed and moved into my hand before he groaned again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I know we have to go...I'll get up," He groaned again and pulled himself away from me and slid off the bed. He got dressed quickly and I slowly walked over to him and wrapped my arms around his waist.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I love you Koki...but why are you so angry about going camping...I have noticed I just didn't think you wanted to talk about it..."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He sighed and moved his head up. "I'm not angry love! I'm so excited to go on a trip with all my friends! And mostly with you~," His hand cupped my cheek as he cooed in my ear making my face go hot. I know this was distracting me from the underlying question.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Ok then love..." He grabbed his bag after changing and quickly grabbing his phone as well as his charger. We walked out of the door while I held his hand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm only going to do this if I get the back window seat!" He said with a huff. He puffed his cheeks and gripped my hand. I laughed with a smile. "Ok then,"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I smiled when I saw the van waiting for us to get in for the trip. "Hey, guys! Just put your bags in the back. Make sure you take anything you will need during the drive because we won't be stopping in a while." He said with a kind smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kokichi huffed and put his bag in the back before walking over to the van door. "I want the back seat!!" He yelled making me and Rantaro roll our eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ryoma was sitting in the back and raised his hands at Kokichi's outburst. "Ok I'll move," He said unconcerned as he moved to go sit in the middle row.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Sorry about that he has been acting like this since I told him about it." I sighed and Rantaro just gave me a smile. "I'm sure he will be fine." He paused before continuing. "Here we are going to leave soon so make sure to put your stuff in the back and close the door when you are done,"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rantaro left me alone in the back. I sighed and placed my bag in the back of the car. I looked over at Kokichi's and smiled. I pulled out the purple bunny that he always had when he felt angry, sad, or confused. I also pulled out my blue blanket from my bag and hid the bunny inside of it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He didn't like others to know that he kept a stuffed animal to make him feel safe and from what I know he only trusted me with this information...and probably Rantaro as well because they were like brothers.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Shuichi..." Kokichi whispered with a blush on his cheeks. "I know you have been stressed and I want to be able to help...you should get some rest ok..." I whispered into his ear pulling his head into my shoulder.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Ok..." He whispered before he let his eyes slide closed as he went limp against my side. I smiled and wrapped my arm around his waist and went to watch some YouTube on my phone as we drove.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>. . .</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The drive was long and boring...I wished I slept with Kokichi...but I didn't want him to wake up and find me sleeping...I'm not sure why...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hey...what time is it?" Kokichi groaned as the van came to a stop. I rubbed his shoulders as he slowly woke up. "We are already at the campsite...I'll set up the tent and we can go to bed early today ok?" I said even though it was already super late.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Ok..." He said resting his head on my shoulder as we slowly walked out of the van. Gonta and Kaito took the initiative to set up the tents. The tents were bigger than they seemed to be. The three-person tents could comfortably fit about 5 people and the two-person tents could fit 3 people comfortably.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Here Gonta set up your tent!" Gonta said raising his arms. I smiled at him and brought the tired Kokichi into the tent.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Why have you been so off today?" I asked trying to sound as calm as I could. "Well, I um..." He said letting his eyes close. I sighed and pulled him into my arms wrapping the blanket around him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm afraid of the woods when it's dark..." He whispered and it all clicked. That makes sense! I went to go and ask him more questions...but he fell asleep. He must have not been getting sleep because of how afraid he was...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I ran my fingers through his hair and kissed his forehead. "Goodnight love.."</span>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>// L A T E R //</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <span>The wind was crashing against the tent and I could feel Kokichi shaking against me. I pulled him closer to me seeing as we moved away slightly in our sleep.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rubbing my hands against his back and petting his hair to calm him down the best I could. The rain didn't stop and soon the thunder began. Kokichi jumped up with a yelp and I slowly sat up to pull him into my lap.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He must be afraid of the thunder.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He was already afraid of the woods at night so I knew this wasn't going to be an easy night for him...</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>But rain and thunder as well?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>What the hell?!</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Silently cursing at the world for making the first night of camping for my love even harder than it already was. Kokichi must have been able to tell I was tense. He slowly moved away from me and curled into a ball.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Good going Shuichi you made him scared...</span>
  </em>
  <span>I sighed to myself and slowly crawled over to him. "Hey it's going to be alright...I'm right here with you..." I whispered into his ear wrapping my blanket around him and letting him hold onto his bunny.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Okay..." He said in a quiet voice. I was surprised by this because he is always so teasing when he wakes up in the middle of the night. Granted, this is only because he likes to hide the fact that he is scared...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I love you...rain rain go away come again another day rain rain go away go away and never stay..." I quietly whispered the song I always found him singing when it would rain like this and I wasn't there to comfort him.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Rain rain go away</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Come again another day</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Rain rain go away</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Go away and never stay</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>"It's going to be ok now...try to go back to sleep." I laid him back down next to me and rubbed his shoulders.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Breath deeply...in and out ok?" I felt him follow what I told him to do. He started taking deep breaths. After a while they became less shaky and his eyes soon slid closed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Shuichi...?" He asked I pulled back to look him in the eyes. "What is it love?" I moved one of my hands to his cheek to cup it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Could you keep talking to me before I go to sleep...I just like to hear your voice..." </span>
  <em>
    <span>it calms me down. </span>
  </em>
  <span>I heard the words even though he didn't have to say them. I smiled and started to sing the song again.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Rain rain go away</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Come again another day</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Rain rain go away</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Go away and never stay</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>After a couple moments he finally went back to sleep. I could feel him shake whenever there was any thunder or noises outside of the tent...but he was asleep none the less.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I felt my shoulders slump as my exhaustion became more apparent...well I should get some sleep...tomorrow is going to be a big day...or at least that's what Rantaro said...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I shrugged and pulled Kokichi close to me before closing my eyes one last time.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>// E N D //</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>-Well, I'm going camping on Monday...so updates may be later in the day...anyway, thank you all so much for reading!!</b>
</p><p>
  <b> EDIT This was inspired by one of the first Saiouma/Oumasai one-shots books I have read by @MeowCatKyo sorry if this was super half-assed...I was not in a great mindset today...I will be doing a part two!!</b>
  <b>-</b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>-ShuichiOuma010-</em>
  </b>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0076"><h2>76. Camping Trip {Fluff/Angst} [Part 2]</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>I felt more exhausted than I have felt in a long time. Maybe it was because of how late we got to the campsite...or because Kokichi was scared...I don't blame him for this of course because I made him come here and he is scared of certain things. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I already knew his fear of thunder and lightning. But seeing how two of his fears came at the same time...it wasn't the best position for him. I could still feel him shaking in my arms before he sighed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Confused I looked down and studied his face. His eyes were gently closed and his arms were wrapped around me. His face looked peaceful but he was still shaking...wait...' is he cold?' I asked myself knowing that was probably the answer.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I must have mistaken his shivering for shaking because of the events of the night before. "Hey Kichi...are you cold?" I asked him even though he was probably asleep. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He shuffled closer to me and nuzzled into my chest to get closer contact. "Warm..." He sighed and let his mouth move to my neck and shoulder to place some gentle kisses. I smiled loving how affectionate he is this early in the morning.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Hey...you still tired?" I mumbled letting my hand brush through his hair. The soft but tanged strands comforted me like it always has.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Yeah...I want some cuddles...because it's not time to get up yet..." He said into my neck making me laugh at how his breath tickled me.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"That's alright, I would love to cuddle..." I cooed in his ear making another shiver go through him. I smiled and wrapped one of my arms around his torso while the other one just petted his hair.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"You really like to play with my hair don't you Shumai~," He teased while his voice was groggy. I laughed my voice affected by how tired I was. My face slowly became hotter as I was going to respond.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Yeah...it's unnatural how soft it is..." I complimented nuzzling my face into his hair making him start laughing. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Hey, that tickles you know?" He gasped and tried to push me away from him. I just held onto his back and slowly moved my head so my chin was resting on his hair.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Yeah, I could tell," I joked rubbing his shoulder as he relaxed back into my touch. He didn't say anything he just moved closer to me shivering a bit.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I smiled to myself and moved my hand to pull the blanket farther over his small frame. After I slowly moved my hand to his back rubbing my hand over his shirt. He chuckled into my chest letting me know he liked it. He was still shivering every now and then just not as much.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Hey, do you want to talk about last night? Or would you prefer if we didn't?" I asked calmly moving back slightly so I could look him in the eyes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He looked to the side for a moment as though he was in thought. I waited patiently to give him a moment to respond. "I just don't like the dark...and the thunder just reminds me of times when I was younger and no one was there for me...it just freaks me out when I feel like I don't have everyone because everyone hates me..." He said with a huff moving his head back to the side.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>'Oh...so it's this kind of thing...' I thought to myself before I cupped his cheek in my hands. "It's ok to be scared Kokichi...I'm right here with you and I'm not going to leave..." I smiled down at him making his shoulders relax.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"That is so cute of you Shumai~," He teases again poking my cheek making my face go red. I rolled my eyes knowing that if I tried to cover my face he would just make me blush more and he would have taken my hands away anyway.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Thanks..." I said caressing his cheek making him giggle again. I smiled at him and placed a kiss on both of his cheeks.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"It's because I love you..." I let my lips linger for a moment before I moved to his lips.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"And I would never leave you..." I kissed him on the lips letting my eyes flutter closed. I could tell his eyes closed even though I couldn't see him. We stayed like that for a moment before we could hear Rantaro calling for us.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Shuichi! Kokichi! It's time to get up! We are going hiking today!" He yelled from outside making both of us break apart with a groan. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Yeah! We need to get ready quickly so we can do it before it gets too hot!" Kaito yelled after him. I sighed and looked over at Kokichi seeing his annoyed expression.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Okay! We're coming!!" I yelled back to them before slowly moving to get up. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"We should get ready," I said in a calm tone of voice knowing Kokichi was already angry. He sighed and moved to get dressed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I made sure to get Kokichi good clothes for the trip. Warm layers and a good jacket with good shoes of course. He seemed confused when he opened his bag knowing he didn't pack himself one. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I packed for you love," I said with a giggle. I heard him laugh for a moment before he got changed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When we had both finished putting on our gear we left the tent. It was still dark outside but it was still nice and cool. I could feel Kokichi tense next to me seeing the outside of the tent. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I grabbed his hand and brought it to my lips and kissed his hand. "It's going to be ok...I'm here for you remember." I smiled down at him. It took him a moment but soon he smiled back and rocked our hands back and forth and we walked over to Kaito and Rantaro.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"You guys are finally ready!" Kaito said leading us over to the table where food was already prepared for us. Kokichi started eating immediately seeing as he didn't get much food the day before...</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>We ate quickly because Kaito was really set on us going on this hike. Only the males in our class came on this trip so most of them were already here except for Korekiyo...</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Korekiyo will join us later I'm going to wait for him ok? You guys go ahead!" Rantaro yelled giving Kaito the signal to get us all started on the trail.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Me and Kokichi stayed close to the back with Ryoma because they had shorter legs and Kokichi made us take some breaks making us fall behind. I didn't mind because when it was just the three of us it was peaceful.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"My feet hurt..." Kokichi groaned for the fifth time. I could see why because we have been walking all morning...and mine was starting to hurt as well.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Kaito said there was a great view at the end," I said trying to get Kokichi to smile again but he only gave me a frown. He huffed and folded his arms over his chest.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Isn't that nice..." He muttered under his breath. I sighed knowing he was just being this way because he was already on edge. I pulled him onto my back and carried him for the rest of the hike. It hurt my legs and feet a lot but I'm glad he was happy.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Thank you Shumai~ you are so strong~!" He praised when we got to the top. Kokichi gasped after we looked at the view.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was amazing. I couldn't help but feel breathless because of how pretty it was. The sky was a mixture of a lot of colors and I couldn't tear my eyes away from it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Hey, Shu?" Kokichi asked pulling on my sleeve. I took a moment before looking over at him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Yeah?" I asked before he moved his hand to my cheeks abruptly pulling me into a kiss. I jumped at the sudden morning but soon kissed back.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I'm glad you convinced me to come." He said with a smile. 'Convince? It was more like me dragging you here...' I thought with a sigh. I shook my head and smiled down at him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I'm glad I convinced you as well," I whispered before he pulled me into a hug. I let myself enjoy the embrace while the others looked at the amazing view. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They all loved watching the sky and clouds...but I had a more beautiful view in my arms. My beloved Kokichi Ouma the only thing I need in my life.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I love you.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>-Here is part two! Sorry for the last part and how it wasn't the best...anyway! Thank you all so much for reading!-</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>-ShuichiOuma010-</em>
  </b>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0077"><h2>77. Blind {Fluff/Angst}</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>
    <span>We are only as blind as we want to be</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>-Maya Angelou</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>I remember being able to see. Watching all the pretty colors and lights as they filled the world. Being able to see others smiles and frowns...but now that's all lost to me.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I haven't been able to see ever since the incident. Everyone was always apologizing to me, but that doesn't even change what happened.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Blind, not being able to see, darkness consuming my mind and my thoughts...I thought I wasn't going to make it...but oddly enough Shuichi still loved me...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>We were together before it happened and even then I had no clue why he would choose to love someone as unloved as me? I still can't wrap my head around it...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Kokichi, dinner is ready!" I could hear Shuichi call to me from the dining room. I could smell the heavenly aroma of the food he was making. He always makes food because not being able to see makes it harder for me to be able to do anything that requires, well sight.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I sighed knowing that he was probably cutely waiting for me downstairs. I was upstairs in the bedroom listening to some soft music. After I was no longer able to see music was the one thing that didn't change for me. It calmed me down when all I could think of was how my life is now...because of what happened...just like it always has done before when I become stressed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The incident happened right after we all woke up from the killing game...I was never able to see again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They say that it was something with the way I was killed and it made the system glitch...or because I was the last one to wake up...but they all didn't talk to me for a long time. One of the reasons being because of what I did...who I killed...and the things I said...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But Shuichi stayed with me, well him, Rantaro, and Kirumi. Everyone else was just so mad they didn't even want to see me in such a pathetic state...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Do you need me to help you?" I heard his voice closer than it was before. I could tell he was in the doorway of the room. I knew he came up because I wasn't responding cause my thoughts were making me lose myself again...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah, thanks Shuichi," I smiled at him when I felt his arm wrap around my waist before he walked with me down the stairs. Shuichi made sure to move the furniture into the rooms instead of in the halls so I could use the walls to navigate through the house.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He did a lot of things for me when he saw my condition. I was crying when we were told the news and he stayed by my side. They tried to get him out of the room so they could examine me but he refused to let me feel alone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I don't know if any of the others were there because they must have never spoken...I heard people come into the room but I always assumed it was just another of the many nurses and doctors...but the only person I knew that was there was Shuichi. He was always holding my hand and talking to me every now and then to let me know he was there.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I already had severe separation anxiety but this made it so much worse...because now I can't see if someone is with me...I can only hear and feel them...so if they go quiet and I can't find there hand I feel so alone...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I made your favorite cake for dessert! Because you seemed to be having an off day today...so I wanted to make you feel better!" I could tell he was smiling. I gave his hand a squeeze.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Thank you Shumai~ that is so sweet of you~!" I teased moving my hand to feel his face. I could feel his cheeks were warm because of how I teased him. It made me smile knowing that this is another thing that didn't change.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"O-of course," He placed his hand on my own and caressed my hand. It was my turn to blush. Although I hate not being able to see my beloveds face all the time...I do kind of like not being able to feel as embarrassed when I accidentally blush in front of him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Thank you, Shuichi!" I smiled going to eat my food. It was so much better than I imagined! How does he cook like a famous chef? I swear on my life he has more than one talent...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>If I ever tried to cook before it always ended the same...I would almost burn the house down or it would be too bad that it was inedible...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Anything for you...anyway, how was your day today? Sorry I had to work longer today..." Shuichi said with a sigh. I could feel the guilt in his voice. I felt bad that he felt he had to apologize for all the times when he couldn't be with me. When really he is doing more than enough for me.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It's alright! You like your job and I understand sometimes you need to work extra hours!" I said with a smile. I tried to show him he didn't have to feel sorry about this.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah, but I know how lonely it can be when I have to..." His chair moved against the floor after we both had finished up. I placed my hands on the table in front of me soon to be on either side of a plate of cake.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"There you go, I hope you like it," He said walking back over to his seat next to me. I moved my hand slowly across the rim of the table over to his thigh. His hand was on his thigh as I presumed it would be. Slowly intertwining our fingers together I smiled.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>We ate our cake together. Shuichi was telling me about his workday as he always does when he gets home. His job never seems to have a boring day! It definitely keeps him on his feet! I mean there are the slow weeks...but then there are the super-fast ones where he isn't at home at all.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I don't mind this because I can tell his job makes him happy! And I want him to be able to be happy even though he has to be with me.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You ready to go to bed? It's kind of late..." Shuichi grabbed my hand cutting my thoughts off again. I looked over at him even though I couldn't see him. I gave him a sleepy nod feeling my exhaustion come back again...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He laughed a bit before slowly moving me into his arms so he could carry me upstairs. I let my head rest on his chest taking in the slow sounds of his heartbeat and his breathing. It was a calming rhythm that made my eyes flutter closed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I could feel the soft sheets in an instant before he pulled me closer to him. "Goodnight love, I love you no matter what," He kissed my forehead before placing a kiss on both of my cheeks. I tiredly giggled at his before he silenced me with his lips.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Thank you Shu~, for everything~," I said letting my eyes slide closed one last time.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>-Here is a Blind Kokichi! AU! I have wanted to write this one for a while...but I haven't had the mental stability to be able to type it all up because of other one-shots I wanted to work on...anyway. Thank you all so much for reading!!-</b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>-ShuichiOuma010-</em>
  </b>
  <b>
    <em>
      <br/>
    </em>
  </b>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0078"><h2>78. Hate Me {Angst}</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>
    <span>Here are some things I wanted to say to you before I leave</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I know you must hate me</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Because I had to be the person no one else wanted to me</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I want you to know that </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I still love you if I'm being honest</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>And I wanted to hug you and promise</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I would never leave you ever again </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>But that's not how this world works</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I'm sorry</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I wanted so many times to say I'm sorry</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I didn't want to hurt you</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Or anyone</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>But I wanted you to make it</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>And this was the one way I could make sure of that</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I wanted you all to hate me</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>So you didn't have to feel like you missed me</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>And because I had to take on the role of the villain</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>But I still wanted more than anything</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>That I could trust you and tell you what I really meant</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I wanted to promise you that we could be together</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>But this cursed game they want us to play</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Doesn't have time for little selfish fantasies</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>On the day that he died because of me</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>When you said the truth to me</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>It broke my heart even though you said it honestly</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I cried a lot when no one was around</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Some days I never wanted to leave my room</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I wanted to kill myself</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>But that wouldn't have solved anything</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Enough about me</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>You probably don't want to have to hear any of this</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>But I want you to know </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I know I have said this before</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>But I love you</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>You are so enthralling to me</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>So interesting and so beautiful </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Your personality was one I have never seen before</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>One I have never dreamed of before</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>In the beginning, I thought you were just this shy person</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>But then in the trial, you were so different</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I wanted to trust you because in a way I felt like we were the same</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Crazy right?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I know what your thinking</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>How could we have anything in common</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>The thing is</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Is that I feel like you have two different sides of you</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>And I feel in love with both of them</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I have two sides too </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>The one I hide from all of you</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>And the fake one you saw every day I was walking around</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I hated having to be this person that I wasn't</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I wanted you to be the person to uncover me</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>But I am confusing I'll give you that</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>So I can see why you didn't</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>No one has before either</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I guess I just hoped that you were different</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Silly of me to think that right?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Thinking that you could solve a puzzle that even I can't </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Thinking we could be close when you never wanted that</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Wishing to just tell you all of this while I was breathing</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Wishing more than anything that I didn't have to be dead</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I want to see you again</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I don't know if that's possible</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>But I want to apologize to you</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>For everything, I put you through</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Anyway you probably have to go now</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I must have taken a lot of your time</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>So one last thing</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I love you so much</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Don't give up </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I believe in you</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>And thank you for everything we did together</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Even though it was limited </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I cherished every moment</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Thank you for caring about me as well</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Because I needed someone to show that to me</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Thank you for just being you Shuichi Saihara </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I love you</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>-Kokichi Ouma</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>The paper fell out of my hands...why did this happen Kokichi? Why did you have to...</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Hic hic sob</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>I don't want to have to do this without you! I wanted you to tell me that you aren't dead...that you never left...please come back!</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I held the paper against my chest after picking it off the ground. Tears were blurring my vision...I didn't want to see it...any of it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I just want you to come back to me again! I want to tell you I love you back...I wanted to tell you everything...just like you told me...I just don't want you to leave yet!</span>
</p><p>
  <span>.   .   .</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"Hey, Saihara-Chan~!" Kokichi poked my cheek with the same smile he always wore.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"Ah, Kokichi?! What are you doing?" I asked, feeling a little jumpy...partially because of the situation we are in...and also because of how sudden it was.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"Why don't we play another game!" The smile on his face made me feel calmer just by being around him. I love that he can always make me feel calmer momentarily even being in this killing game.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"Sure," I calmly replied. He quickly grabbed my hand in his own and pulled me to the dining hall. I was confused about why he chose the dining hall for a place to hang out before he brought out the knife.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"K-Kokichi?!" I felt myself back up defensively. I knew that I wouldn't have done anything even if he was trying to kill me...but I feel like that isn't what's happening.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"Calm down Saihara-Chan~ It's just for a game!" He said with another smile making me calm down a bit...</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"But what game uses a knife?!" I said grabbing his wrist trying to get the knife out of his hand. He soon batted my hand away.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"The knife game of course!!" He said again with that teasing smile again. I felt myself flinch when he placed his hand on the table before stabbing the knife in between all of his fingers in a pattern. He speeded up very quickly and it made me feel anxious. What if he cuts himself?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>And just as though he heard my words or some twisted karma came in when he sliced his finger.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"Kokichi!" I walked over to him noticing that he was still moving the knife.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"You didn't have to keep going!" I pulled the knife away from his hand and set it on the far end of the table. After that was away from him I rushed to get a first aid kit.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>When I got back worry was clouding my thoughts. I couldn't think of anything besides if Kokichi was going to be alright. Pushing my thoughts aside I looked down at the boy who still had a smile on his face. I sighed and started to bandage his finger.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"Aww, thanks Shuichi! It's all good as new!" He said admiring his bandaged finger. I blushed knowing he was admiring my work...even though I just bandaged his finger...</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"Yeah," I whispered smiling a little.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"Not you'll never ever forget me for the rest of your life,"</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"I stole your heart so now I'm satisfied!"</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>.   .   .</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bitter tears came tumbling down my cheeks at the memory...I wanted to just go back and be able to see him again...one last time...so I can tell him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"That I love you Kokichi,"</span>
</p><p>
  <b>-Some angst to start my morning...I'm not having the best day so far but I do have more writing to do! Thank you all so much for reading!!-</b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>-ShuichiOuma010-</em>
  </b>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0079"><h2>79. Silent {Fluff/Angst}</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>
    <span>"Listen to silence. It has so much to say. -Rumi"</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hey! Kokichi!" I yelled letting the words burst from my lips. Kokichi looked over at me and smiled. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hello, Shumai~" He teased as I rushed to his side. We were going out today and he was the first one to get to the meeting spot, which made sense, seeing as he was the one who asked. I wouldn't have minded either way...but I think it was cute that he came first. Usually, he is the one who comes a little late, but I don't mind. Because spending time with him is like the drug that I need, the reset I need to make me want to carry on.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kokichi in a way was the light to pull me out of my self inflicted depression...to get me out of the abyss of my thoughts on days that I just don't want to do this anymore...he always comes to get me out...pulling me up with him so we can bathe in the light of the gentle sunsets we would always watch together.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Shumai~ You were spacing out again~" He poked my cheek making me blush out of habit. He could always make me super flustered no matter what he did...even him just being in the room made me flustered. I have gotten better with this over the past while when we have been spending more time together. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Ah, was I? Sorry Kokichi..." I whispered feeling my voice go quiet again. He grabbed my chin gently and moved my head so I would meet his eyes. It took me a moment to look him in the eyes because I always feel so nervous around other people...but when I did I was relieved when he gave me his kind smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The smile he gave me wasn't like the one he was always giving the others. It was more gentle, kinder in a way. It always calms me down when he is so kind and gentle around me when we are alone. Not that we get to be alone that often during school...but he always makes time for me. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It's alright. I understand, but don't hide your voice from me, ok?" I blushed at his words but soon after I slowly gave him a nod. He frowned slightly at my action making me get even more nervous.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Sorry, um, I understand!" I yelped. My voice scared me when it came out sounding so demanding. Kokichi looked just as shocked as I felt. I flinched and distanced myself from him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Sorry-Sorry-sorry-sorry! I didn't mean to yell..." I whispered the last part feeling my voice vanish again into the wind. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Don't worry about it, I don't mind if you yell! You can scream for all I care!" He smiled at me moving closer to grab my shoulders. I would have tensed up and moved away if it was anyone else...but because it's Kokichi I didn't flinch at all.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Anyway, I love your voice...and I hate that you hide it from all the others..." He put his head down making his hair cover his eyes. I know what he is talking about...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ever since some intense bullying in grade school and even in junior high...I barely talked anymore...Kokichi is the only person I have talked to in a long time...I just started to hate my voice...I just despise how weak and pathetic it sounds...I know I look weak and pathetic...but I don't want to have to hear it as well...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm glad you talk to me...I'm glad I get to hear your voice...but I hope that one day...you can open up to others..." He said quietly, pulling me closer to him. I felt the gentle breeze go through my hair as I wrapped my arms around him. Even though he is shorter than me, he makes me feel safe...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He has always stood up for me when other people tried to force me to talk...like students and other teachers...they would always want me to speak up or a teacher would call on me...Kokichi was always there to do it for me and tell them my answer so I didn't have to...</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Elective Mutism</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>I have gone to therapy countless times with Kokichi to try and get help...but they all said I had to make the first step in overcoming it...I am always so stressed with school and other people in my life I just don't want to add that to the pile...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I was told this a while back...that I have Elective Mutism...where the person chooses not to speak because of psychological issues...I know I have to get over this eventually...and I can't just keep using Kokichi was a way to get out of these problems...but...I'm so scared...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hey, it's ok, why are you crying?" He paused for a moment so he could wipe my tears. I didn't even know I started crying when he spoke to me...but when he was gently wiping them away I felt the cold trails of my tears. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"S-sorry..." I whispered seeing some other people walking down the path through the park. They weren't that close to us yet...but I already felt nervous about them seeing me. Kokichi must have realized this because he quickly took my hand and walked me back to our apartment.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>We lived in a one-bedroom apartment and it was nice being able to have one space where I felt safe...because it was just me and Kokichi...no one else to bother us. We still had to go out sometimes...but Kokichi did the errands most of the time while I worked at home. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I work as a graphic designer and as an online teacher for new students wanting to learn graphic design. Kokichi, on the other hand, teaches at a college as a criminal justice teacher. I think it is so cool of him to be a teacher in that department. I was always super interested in being a police officer or even a detective...but I didn't pursue that because of my anxiety...and because I only talk to one person...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"So, what are you thinking right now?" Kokichi asked me as I sat in a bean bag chair we had in the room. He moved behind me so he could hold me in his lap. I smiled to myself feeling his breath on my back. I moved down farther in his lap so I could see his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm thinking about how happy I am that I was able to meet you, you always listen to me...and I don't feel nervous around you...and you are just so amazing, I wonder...why did you pick me to be your lover?" I said letting my voice stay quiet as his arms found their way around my torso.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Why would I pick you?" He asked, tapping his chin with his finger, making me giggle at how cute he was. After a few moments, he turned back to me and caressed my cheek with his hand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Because you are so perfect to me...I don't care if you don't want to talk, I get it people are so loud and sometimes we just want a bit of silence...but I'm glad that you feel comfortable enough around me to be able to talk to me like this...and I absolutely love how cute and beautiful you are in your heart and your outward appearance." I saw him blushing a bit before I felt my face inflame at his words. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"And you get flustered so easily~ It's adorable~," He said, moving his hands back into my hair. I sighed and let my eyes flutter closed. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Even if I'm silent around others...I'm glad you are the one who gets to hear my silence...</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <b>-Here is a Mute! Shuichi AU!! Tomorrow is Kokichi's birthday and I'm going to be writing a one-shot as well as the usual update and I will post some digital art for the occasion!! Thank you all so much for reading!!-</b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>-ShuichiOuma010-</em>
  </b>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0080"><h2>80. Silent {Fluff/Angst} [Part 2]</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Kokichi is standing in the office while I sat on the couch mindlessly watching the tv. The news was playing but I really wasn't paying attention o anything that was going on.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Shuichi, do you want something to eat? It's getting close to dinner." Kokichi called from the counter. I didn't feel like talking at the moment...but I gave him a nod. He perked up and started moving to grab some ingredients.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He always knows when I don't want to talk...and the thing I love about him is that he never says anything about it...</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His phone buzzed and it cut off my thoughts. I looked over to him and he froze for a moment. I was about to ask him what happened...but then he turned to me.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Hey, Shuichi, Kaito called again..." I felt my shoulders slump. Kaito hasn't called me in forever...we were friends a while back...but I haven't talked to anyone in a long time as we just never really got together that much...</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Wh-What does he w-want?" I hated how much I was stuttering at the mention of Kaito. I don't hate him pr anything...just knowing someone wants to talk to me...that someone wants to hear me...makes me feel super nervous...</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"He was asking if you wanted to go to Kaede's concert. We can go if you want," Kokichi said walking back over to my side. I felt myself start shaking at the thought of leaving the house.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I don't want to have to go...I love listening to Kaede play...but I feel more comfortable joining her live streams on YouTube so I can watch it with Kokichi by my side. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She does live streams and videos of her music all the time. Kaede and Maki always hangout now from what I have heard from Kokichi anyway. They are always trying to get me to come and hang out with them all the time...but Kokichi knows how scared and anxious I get about any social interaction...so I never have.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"It's ok if you don't want to...but know that you won't have to go alone. I don't have any work today so I can go with you." He paused and wrapped his arm around me. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I will be by your side the whole time. I won't let you out of my sight...and I'll do all the talking, ok?" I smiled at his words. I felt confident when he says things like this to me. He has some way of being able to make me feel alright even if nothing is going my way...or whenever I feel anxious he always makes me feel safe.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I moved my head into his shoulder for a moment before I moved up to place a kiss on his lips. He smiled against my lips making me feel calm again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When he smiles all of my worries go away...they all vanish within a second when he smiles at me. All I can think of is his love for me...how much he cares about me despite my condition...</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"That sounds nice..." I whispered taking in his calming scent. I sighed and let my head move back into the crook of his neck.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I'm sure you will have fun. So do you want to get ready? We have a little while before we have to go...but would you like to watch a movie before we leave?" He let his hand move to my hair. Brushing his soft hands gently through my hair making my body relax against his. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Yeah..." I said into his neck making him laugh.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Alright, let's go and get dressed then," He grabbed my hand and pulled me to our room.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When we got into our room we both started to get changed. When I was putting on my shirt and my pants I looked over at Kokichi...he was looking at his arms again...</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His arms have scars scattered all over them from his past...people always treaded him horribly just because of who he was...and what people were saying about him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I love that he is still alive to love me this day. He almost didn't make it so many times...the last time I asked him he said he attempted suicide about 11 times...I wish I would have been there for him...but I'm glad I can be there for him now.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Kokichi, it's ok...I love you," I whispered walking over to him. He didn't say anything he just kind of stood there. I could tell he was trying not to cry...</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I wrapped my arms around his waist and pressed my face against his bare back. I slowly moved my lips across his back planting small kissed here and there. I could feel him shaking under my hold...I frowned and looked over at his arms again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"It's ok love, I'm right here..." I gently grabbed his arm in my hand and pulled it to my lips. I planted kisses on each one of his scars. I looked up at him ever now and then. He was crying and looking away from me with a small blush on his cheeks. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I love you so much...I'm glad you are still here...why don't we go and watch that movie?" I requested grabbing his hands before pulling him into another hug. He nodded against my head and pulled on a shirt.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>We walked over to our bed and I sat him in my lap and held onto his waist. He picked the movie Your Name because it was one of the movies that could always make me laugh.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He loves my laugh. I was never sure why because I dislike any noise I make...like talking, laughing, singing...but he loves them all. It makes me feel so special that he likes my voice and loves to hear it in any way he can. I just love him so much...and he loves me.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Thanks for what you said earlier. I know I don't say it much, but thank you for always being there when I'm in a slump..." He paused and pulled my chin so he could look at me. I felt myself blush at his words but didn't say anything. Because I know he was talking about how he always gets down when he remembers something from that time...or when he sees the markings...</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"And thank you for staying with me even though I can be really stubborn and pushy," He kissed my neck and shoulder before he pulled me in for another soft kiss.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I'm glad...and you don't have to thank me." He opened his mouth to say something before I put a finger to his lips.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"And we should get going to the concert..." I felt myself flinch at the word 'concert' but I didn't let it affect me too much...</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kokichi smiled at me and slowly climbed out of my lap before he held his hand out for me.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Then let's get going,"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>.   .   .</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Give it up for Kaede Akamatsu!!" The man in a nice suit said into the mic before the lights dimmed. It was dark in the concert hall. I held onto Kokichi's hand feeling my eyes squint closed. His hand was caressing my hand the entire time giving me small supportive squeezes every now and then.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I could feel people looking at us before the lights went out...because we aren't exactly what people would call a socially acceptable relationship...and because no one sees me outside of my house that much...so it made sense that they would stare...</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I really didn't want to be here...but I know it makes Kokichi happy that I went out with him and his friends for once. I'm glad I could do something to make him happy. After all the things he does for me every day to make me so happy...make me feel so loved...make me feel like I belong.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Hey, it's going to be ok...I'm right here and it's about to start..." Kokichi's words helped me calm down for a moment before the spotlight came on to show Kaede in the center of the stage sitting at a piano.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The keys started slow before the song burst into life. It was a song of happiness but at the same time, there was an underlying loneliness that spoke to me. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Because even though someone looks like they are happy you never really know what other things lie underneath. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I closed my eyes letting the harmony and melody of the song take over. My shaking stopped and all I could feel or hear was the music</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>.   .   .</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I'm glad you came Shuichi!" Kaito exclaimed patting me on the back. I gave him a small nod feeling nervous all over again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>We are waiting for Kaede to come out so we can congratulate her. She also wanted to see me before I left with Kokichi so she texted him to make sure he would stay a little longer so she could see me.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kaede is a very kind person...but I never really understood why she wanted to be friends with me if I never talked to her...or anyone for that matter.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kokichi still had his arms around me as he and Kaito talked before Maki came by Kaito's side moments later.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Maki and Kaito always seemed to be good friends and I wasn't that surprised when they started dating...if anything they were more surprised that me and Kokichi were dating...</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Shuichi! I'm so glad I could see you again!" Kaede yelled cutting off my train of thought. I clung to Kokichi's shirt but he slowly pushed me out of his arms so Kaede could embrace me. He still held onto my hand which made me grateful.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I nodded and gave her a smile. "I'm glad to see you guys together! How have you been?" She and Kokichi started talking while I just wrapped my arms back around his torso and buried my head into his neck. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I felt nervous about looking at anyone but I'm glad no one made it seem like that was a weird thing to do. It was nice to be around people who just wanted to be around me and they weren't always trying to make me talk all the time...</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After a while, I felt my eyes start to become heavy. I leaned against Kokichi and let my eyes fall to a close...</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Hey, I should get going. My beloved ShuShu is tired~ I'll talk to you guys later ok?" Kokichi said before slowly moving with me back to the car.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Alright! It was nice to see you guys again! We would do this again another time!" Kaede yelled after us making me smile against Kokichi. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"You are so adorable," He whispered into my ear as he slowly sat me in the passenger seat of the car before he walked over to the driver's seat.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The ride was slow and calming...it made me feel at peace again...just me and Kichi, till the end.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>-Here is part two!! I hope you enjoyed it!! Thank you all so much for reading!! I hope you all have a great day!! And a Oneshot for Kokichi's birthday is coming out later today!!-</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>-ShuichiOuma010-</em>
  </b>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0081"><h2>81. Happy Birthday Kokichi! {Fluff}</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Kokichi always lies. I mean this is a given because he is what some people call the ultimate liar...but he lies about anything...mostly about things about himself.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Trying to find out anything about him is almost impossible if you can't see through his lies...like his birthday for example. I had to ask Monokuma and Kirumi to find out when his birthday was...cause he would always lie about it and tell me that it was on a day that it really wasn't...</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The only way I figured this out because sometimes they didn't match up...meaning it was a lie.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I wanted to do something special for him because usually when he lied about something about himself...it's something he dislikes about himself or something he thinks will change other people's opinions of him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And I'm sure that his birthday is just the same. He doesn't tell many people but he doesn't think very highly of himself...I know because I have been dating him for a while and have been able to figure some of these things out for myself.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He never really tells me a lot about himself or ever really gives me a solid answer either...so I have to use my knowledge of him to be able to decipher some of his lies.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Hey, Kirumi!" I walked into the dining hall to make sure all the preparations were in order. I was doing a quick sweep of the dining hall to make sure it was perfect. Because everything has to be perfect because it's for my Kokichi...and he deserves the best! </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I shook my head a couple of times before focusing back on the task at hand. "It's all going to be done in a couple of hours." She paused with a small bow.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Just make sure he doesn't come to the dining hall before then. I will send Rantaro to get you both here. He won't say anything to spoil the surprise. I already mentioned the plan to him beforehand." I gave her a nod before leaving for Kokichi's dorm.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I noticed that today he was really tired at breakfast so I suggested that he slept in after we ate a bit. He gave me a tired nod and walked back to his room.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I felt kind of bad about this because I had Miu put a sleeping pill into his drink so he would sleep a little longer while I got everyone involved in the plan.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The dormitory was right in front of me. I smiled and walked over to his dorm room. It was quiet in the dormitory because everyone was helping with the party. Even the people who didn't like him very much...it took a lot of convincing but eventually everyone agreed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Kokichi?" I asked slowly opening the door. I had his dorm key on me because he gave it to me after breakfast so I was the only one who could come into his room. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He didn't respond to me which made sense because of the sleeping pill. I shook my head before I walked over to him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His hair was a mess which wasn't surprising to me because I always love to take naps with him and things like that and he moves around a lot in his sleep. His eyes were gently closed and he was clinging to his pillow, holding it close to his chest.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I smiled to myself and carefully took the place of the pillow in his arms. He smiled against my chest as I was wrapping my arms around him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Shu~ I didn't know you wanted to cuddle~," He yawned moving closer to me after a moment. I like having him so close to me...and being able to just see him when he isn't trying to be the person everyone thinks he is...or something like that.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I always love cuddling with you. And I know you love it to~," I teased back letting my hands move to his cheeks to make him look up at me. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Oh, look who's being so bold~," He looked at me with a mischievous grin making me feel nervous. I had a feeling that he already knew what I had been planning for him...like he always knows everything that I try to hide from him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Ah, thanks?" I asked feeling my blush darken on my face. He kissed both of my cheeks quickly making me gasp. But he quickly silenced me with another kiss before he hopped out of the bed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Shouldn't we go and do something other than a nap?" He asked cutely tapping his hand on his chin. He looked over at me with an innocent look in his eyes making me blush more. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Well, yeah...why don't we go to the courtyard and hang out down in the lower area?" I asked trying not to give off that this was just to keep him away from the school knowing that they weren't done with preparations yet.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"That sounds lovely ShuShu~," He teased again grabbing my hand and walking down to the lower area of the courtyard.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It wasn't that long of a walk to the area but it was nice to feel the warm sun on my skin. Even though I was wearing a jacket and pants it wasn't too hot. I could tell Kokichi liked it as well.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>We walked over to the grass over by Tenko's lab and sat down in the shade. He rested his head on my shoulder as we just sat and talked for a while. I tried to keep the attention off of anything related to the party.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"So Shuichi, why did Miu put something into my drink today?" He asked looking out at the distance. His serious tone took me off guard and I gasped.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"What do you mean?" I tried my hardest not to stutter...because that would be a dead give away.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"She was acting all weird this morning and when she gave me my drink I knew something was up...but I decided it couldn't have been too bad." He didn't even look over at me. All I did was sit there for a moment in silence. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He definitely knows</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Well, I-" I started only to be cut off.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Hey, guys! Want to hang out with me?" Rantaro said coming over to us. I sighed in relief that I didn't have to somehow come you with an explanation.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Yeah, I'm glad you came Rantaro-Chan~," I felt a little jealous when he called him by that nickname but didn't let it affect me.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Yeah, thank you Rantaro," He gave me an empathetic smile making me feel better. I got up off the ground and helped Kokichi up before we all walked to the dining hall.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>.   .   .</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Happy birthday Kokichi!!" Everyone yelled when we walked into the dining hall. Kokichi looked slightly surprised before he gave me a knowing side glance.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I tried my hardest to surprise you ok?" I said putting my head down in shame.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"It's fine Shuichi! I'm happy you surprised me! But how did you know it was actually today?" He asked hugging my arm teasingly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I asked Kirumi," Kokichi gave Kirumi a glare but she didn't mind it and gave us a small smile.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Everyone was talking and laughing while Kokichi just walked over to a table with me and got some cake.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"This is the best surprise I have had in a while Shuichi," He said putting some cake on a fork and shoving it into his mouth.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Is that so?" I asked feeling a little more confident in my attempt to please my boyfriend with a surprise party.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Yeah! Especially since it was you! And you even got everyone to come!!" He exclaimed poking my cheek making me blush harder.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I'm glad you think so," I said quietly bringing his face closer to mine to place a kiss on his lips. The frosting was sweet when I pulled back and tasted some on my lips. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"The cake is really good you should try some~," He pokes my cheek with a fork with some more cake on it. It got frosting all over my cheek but I ignored that and turned to eat the cake.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Yeah, your right it is really good!" I smiled and let myself have fun at the party with my boyfriend. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was nice to finally see you genuinely happy Kokichi...and I'm glad I was the one who was able to see you this way.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>-Happy birthday Kokichi Ouma!! You are my absolute favorite Character out of any character I have ever had the pleasure to meet and learn about! You have helped me and taught me so much!! So thank you!! And thank all of you for reading!!-</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>-ShuichiOuma010-</em>
  </b>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0082"><h2>82. Restless {Angst}</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>
    <span>Sleep</span>
  </em>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Oh, how I dread the name...I never have liked having to sleep. And even if I do get blessed with the mercy of sleep...I always wake up super early. Not because I want to or anything, it's my internal alarm clock that always wakes me up...I have never slept in past 8:00.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I have known for a while know that I am touch starved...which makes sense because who would want to touch me? But regardless this is another reason why I can't sleep as well...I don't know why exactly...but I do remember one of my friends mentioning that to one of my other friends a very long time ago...</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Insomnia is also another big part of it. Ever since, well the moment I can first remember of my life I remember having really bad insomnia...always staying up super late and waking up super early. It's the life let me tell you...</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So here I am sitting on my bed staring at the wall as the clock ticks on my wall. The thing about clocks is they freak me out. I know that's probably confusing and I wouldn't blame you for being confused. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Clocks always remind me that we are running out of time...and while I sit here waiting for the day to start for everyone else I am wasting so much time. Sleep was always seen as a waste of time in my eyes...you lose so much time while you sleep...so why even bother?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I groaned knowing I was getting nowhere with any of this. I went back under the covers feeling my eyes burning with the need for some kind of relief...but knowing me-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I only shifted and shuffled around in my bed just like any other night. I could never find a comfortable position and it was just a pain overall. I was laying on my stomach, then my side, and now on my back. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>This is pointless...I thought to myself knowing it was true. Trying to sleep never works anyway...so what's the point in even trying. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I let my eyes slide closed again before I heard someone knocking on my door. It was a soft knock but it made my eyes shoot back open right when I heard it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Who could be at my door? Especially this late or early? I don't know...</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I slowly got out of my bed looking briefly over the messy sheets from moving around so much. I sighed and walked over to the door.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>If it's someone knocking to kill me best to welcome them in. I have no motivation to live anymore...I'm just so tired...</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I opened the door finding something I never thought I would see. It was Shuichi. He was shaking and holding his pillow to his chest. I could see through the dim light of the moon that he has been crying.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He moved closer to me and pulled me into a hug letting the pillow he was holding onto earlier fall out of his hands.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Shuichi, hey, it's ok...what happened?" I asked moving him over to my bed with his pillow before I moved to close the door making sure to lock it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I-I, I'm sorry," He gasped letting more tears spill out of his eyes. He looks exhausted...in other words, he looked how I felt. But I couldn't get the thought out of my head...is he sorry because he came here this late? Or is it because of something else...</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Why are you sorry?" I asked sitting on the bed next to him. I made sure to put some space between us because I didn't know if he would want me that close to him. He shifted a little closer to me before he rested his head on my shoulder.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I...Kokichi..." Were the only things he said before he was out. I was surprised by how tired he was before I remembered. He always looks super tired when he is out and about with the other students...maybe he has been having trouble sleeping as well.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"It's ok Saihara-Chan...lets just get you to bed," I slowly moved him as carefully as I could into my bed. Tucking him in under the covers. He looked so peaceful while he was sleeping.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I was kinda jealous because I knew I would never have a night that wasn't, well restless. Even if I get sleep it means nothing...no matter how much sleep I get I'm still exhausted when I wake up.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I shook my head and looked back over at Shuichi who was still shaking a bit more than I was comfortable with. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Why is he so scared? I mean I know we are in a killing game- wait could it have been a nightmare?</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I realized that he must have been woken up from a nightmare and for some reason decided to come to my room. And now that he is here...I should comfort him, right? I don't want to invade his personal space...but he seems like a hug would help him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Without much more internal debate I walked over to the bed again. And slowly slid next to him under the covers. Right, when the bed shifted with my weight applied to the mattress Shuichi immediately clung to me. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He held my head into his chest and wrapped his arms around my back. I smiled knowing that I was right and he did just need a hug. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I felt myself starting to feel tired. Mostly because of how warm Shuichi was and because of his intoxicating scent. The smell of vanilla and blueberries...it made me feel so tired.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And before I knew it I was out.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>.   .   .</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I woke up for once not feeling super exhausted. I slowly opened my eyes and saw Shuichi next to me. I jumped a bit because for a moment I forgot what happened last night before it all came back to me.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Did I sleep better with Shuichi holding me?</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The question spiraled through my mind. I know that Shuichi wouldn't do this again...because everyone here hates me and I'm sure that he was just scared and came to my room out of coincidence. I am glad he came to mine though. Who knows what anyone else would have done...</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Hey, Ko..." Shuichi whispered as his eyes slowly fluttered open. I could feel a slight blush come to my face as he looked at me. I felt a little better when his face became super red in a matter of seconds when he saw me and realized that we were in my bed together.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I laughed a bit at his cute he was being because of his shyness. "Sorry! For the intrusion! I can leave if you-" I cut him off by putting a finger to his lips.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"You know I don't mind if you just wanted to have someone close to you while you slept...I don't really care that much, but it was nice being able to sleep like this with you." I felt my cheeks get a little warmer when Shuichi just smiled at me.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"You have been having trouble sleeping just like me," He said cupping my cheek with his hand.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Yeah, ever since I can remember actually," I said closing my eyes feeling embarrassed all of a sudden. I was glad it was only me and Shuichi because I feel comfortable around him...and I don't feel as worried about letting my guard down.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I'm sorry about that...I had a nightmare last night and I just didn't want to have to be alone with my thoughts...so...I care to your room thinking you would be the most likely to answer..." He looked to his side not making eye contact with me.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>So I was right,</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I pushed those thoughts aside and focused on making him not feel as anxious. "Well, if you ever want to do this again, just let me know," I left out the part that I would love to do this every night...because I feel so safe with him next to me and all...but I didn't say anything.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I think I would like that," He sighed contently and moved his face into my neck pulling me close to him again. I absolutely love how gentle his touches are and how safe he makes me feel...I'm glad he wants to do this again...because I'm sure this will help me get better sleep...so I don't feel as restless.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"But what are we going to tell the others!" He said his face getting all red again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"We don't have to tell them anything," I started laughing a bit when I saw the look of disbelief on his face. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"It's not a lie, just an untold truth," He seemed to relax a bit at me saying that. I know the others would resent him for wanting to be so close to me...but I'm just glad I was the one he picked to come to last night.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I let myself take in his scent again and sighed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I'm glad you came to me Shuichi</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>-I feel like I haven't been getting any sleep even though I haven't been getting bad sleep at all...I still wake up super early and go to bed kinda late...but it's fine. Anyway, thank you so much for reading!!-</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>-ShuichiOuma010-</em>
  </b>
</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0083"><h2>83. Class is in Session {Fluff} [Teacher AU]</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>I organized all the papers scattered all over my desk and began to tidy the classroom a bit. My students were all bright kids but some of them really make a mess with their paper and supplies...</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I never thought being a teacher would be that fun but being able to be in charge of the lessons and planning makes it so much better! I have always liked being in charge and after graduating Hopes Peak I decided to become a teacher. Shuichi is always so nice when I have to work late or helping with lesson planning! He is an absolute angel~!</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I didn't like school that much because the teachers were always so boring and they made the class more like we just had to read the book and memorize. But this isn't what school is. It's supposed to teach you and prepare you for the world! Teach you to have fun, being able to improvise, work with others, and find your place in the world.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And I absolutely love teaching! Seeing all these kids learn and grow up beginning to find a life of their own. Some of them even come back to tell me how much they appreciate me being there teacher and mentor. I want to be able to change the world! And teaching younger generations that will shape the future is a great start!</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>My eyes looked around the room and they stopped when they reached the picture of me and my beloved husband. Me and Shuichi at the park. We always went to the park near the house we bought together. It was a nice way to remind us of playing when we were younger and it was a great place to have dates. Calm, quiet, and comfortable.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Shuichi is working today as well as I am, but he said earlier that he would get off his shift early so we could do something together. The only thing I'm worried about that is I still have all these papers to grade...</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The students would be coming back for another period before my school day ends. I can teach most of the subjects and I try to keep learning new things to keep my brain working and for any of the students that are way ahead.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Professor Oma sir?" I snapped out of my thoughts and turned around to see one of my students. Her name is Sani and she is really experienced in science and math but struggles in reading and writing. She is always coming in early for father instruction. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Yes, what do you need Sani?" I asked in a gentle tone knowing she doesn't react well to yelling. Most of the people in the school know this for a fact...because whenever people start yelling she has a panic attack. I'm sure it's something to do with her stubborn mother...</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I had a parent-teacher conference with her a while ago and she wouldn't even let Sani share her opinion. It was really sad how much her mother believes she can't make her own decisions. I can see why she is so shy to talk to others...</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I wanted to go over the book we are reading in class...I don't think I'm understanding what it's about..." She said fiddling with the cuffs of her sleeves. I could tell she felt a little discouraged because of this. She tucked her hair behind her ear as she pulled out the book.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Where did it stop making sense?" She quickly turned to the page before I even finished my sentence. It was about halfway through the book. I know better than anyone how much work she puts into trying to understand this book. She reads slower than most of the others but that doesn't discourage her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Well let's see..." I paused putting a finger to my chin. She is in the part where the main character is taking a change of heart. Most of the time parts like this can be hard to see a first but become more apparent over time as the character molds themselves into someone new.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"You see this part where they are talking about their mission or their plan to save their friends?" I pointed to a sentence closer to the beginning of the page. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Yeah?" She asked looking a little confused. I could tell that she was questioning why it was this part. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Here because of what she says here the main character changes his main goal. Meaning, that here-" I trailed off before she started to finish my thought.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"He changed the reason he wanted to go on the mission in the first place!" She exclaimed. The happy look in her eyes from being able to figure this out reminds me of why I love my job so much.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Now that part, later on, makes more sense! Thank you, Professor Oma!" She grabbed her book and walked back out of the class. I'm assuming she was going to grab her bag because she didn't have it on when she came in here.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I smiled to myself and went back to my desk to get ready for today's lesson. I mean the people who have me as a teacher have me for most of their subjects. This is because they all really like my teaching style and the principal has noticed this helps to improve their grades and their overall understanding.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Not that I mind teaching so many of the same students and not being able to have as many break periods. I like what I do and I'm going to continue working to make sure they can get the best education they can!</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>.   .   .</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After the lesson finished and all of my students left the classroom I sat back into my chair. I finished another day, I feel accomplished for being able to complete today...but now those papers...</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I frowned when I looked over at the stack but I sucked it up and began reading through them. Checking for grammar, spelling, and the flow of their writing. It can be a pain having to do at least 50 of these. I'm glad the school is smaller than most because at Hopes Peak only ultimates are allowed to enroll. I would know.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"How is Professor Oma doing?" I turned my head towards the door to see Shuichi standing there. I smirked and placed a mark on the paper I was working on to keep my place.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I don't know, how is Detective Saihara doing?" I chuckled standing up and walking over to him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I'm doing better now that you're here with me," He said wrapping his arms around my waist.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Better save that kind of stuff for at home Shu~," I teased when he moved his head to nuzzle into my neck. There was a muffled yelp into my shoulder that just made me giggle. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He abruptly raised his head and faced me again. "I-I wasn't-" I pressed my fingers to his lips with a teasing smirk on my lips.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I know ShuShu~ thanks for coming," I kissed him quickly on the lips before pulling back before he could kiss me back.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Now you can help me grade these papers!" I exclaimed pulling him over to take a seat in one of the desks.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Alright, alright, you do look tired so when we get home you go right to bed ok?" Shuichi looked at me concerned and I gave him a smile.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I have been getting home later because whenever I am on my way to leave some of the teachers stop me in the hall. They always ask for advice and we talk about other things...but it does sometimes take a good amount of time before we even get into the car.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I dramatically sighed resting my head on the papers in front of me while I let my hands dangle of my desk. I heard Shuichi's laugh stifled by his hand. I slowly looked over at him with a smile dancing on my lips.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Alright love, but you have to get some sleep with me~," I said going back to grading the papers. He laughed a bit before going back to focus as well.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I'm glad you came into my life Shuichi Saihara.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>-I'm going to the park today and this may be childish of me but I love swinging on the swings so much! Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed this Teacher AU! Thank you all so much for reading!!-</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>-ShuichiOuma010-</em>
  </b>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0084"><h2>84. Class is in Session {Fluff} [Part 2]</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“Kokichi? You don’t have to stay awake, I hold nothing against you if you happen to fall asleep,” I heard Shuichi say again as my head was bobbing up and down. I know I needed to sleep...but it’s hard when I don’t want to fall asleep during our time together.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Shuichi is pretty busy with his job as a detective so I don’t get to see him much seeing as I also have a job as a teacher. We try to go on a date at least once a month, once a week if we get that lucky that our schedules line up that well. I sighed and looked over at him while he was driving.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He had a small smile on his lips while he focused on the road in front of him. I feel like I’m the only one who gets to see his real smile most of the time which makes me happy that he feels genuinely happy with me. I mean his job is intense and sometimes it does take a toll on him...but he loves his job and I want him to be in an occupation where he loves going into work. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Most of the detective agency doesn’t know about me and Shuichi being married and all. His partner Kyoko and her husband are probably the only ones who know there...at school most of my students know about it because Shuichi always tries to come and bring me lunch or something so he can see me. It doesn’t end up happening much but when it does it’s pretty obvious we are together.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Even if they don’t know about the marriage or me and Shuichi aren’t being that affectionate in public, they can still tell by the rings we have. The beautiful lilac purple one he wears that reminds him of me, and the dazzling navy blue one I wear that reminds me of him. We had bought rings with the colors of our partner because it helps us be able to see that we are always together even if they leave us for a moment to go to work or something else that comes up.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Shuichi picked me up out of the car. I must have been lost in thought again. That’s what happens when I become too tired. He walked with me into the house making sure to lock the car and the door behind us. I rested against him feeling my eyes slide closed again. I didn’t even try to open them this time because I was just way too tired.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I felt the soft sheets brush against my skin as I fell asleep. I heard Shuichi mumble something before I fell asleep but my brain was already way past exhausted at this point.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>My mind went to my students. I want to be able to help them learn...but some of them get taken out of my class just because I’m married to Shuichi. The principal is very accepting of our relationship and tries to not be discriminant against me as a teacher and I respect that...because some of the parents of my students find out and immediately think that I’m going to ‘turn them gay’ or something weird like that. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I don’t like all the discrimination I get at school and even when me and Shuichi go on dates sometimes...shouldn’t it be more about how in love we are other than what gender we both happen to be? I felt my whole body slump knowing it would be the same at school the next day.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>.   .   .</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Morning eventually came with the sun coming through the curtains slightly. Shuichi was already awake but he was still holding me close to him. I was going to ask him why he wasn’t getting some coffee started or already had gone to work, but then I felt some tears staining my cheeks. I was crying?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh you're awake.” Shuichi said, pulling back slightly so he could see my face. I smiled up at him still feeling confused about the tears. He slowly moved his hands to my cheeks to wipe away the tears, before I could say anything.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You were talking in your sleep again...it was about some of the parents of your students and how you don’t want me to leave you again…” He said with a frown. I know it hurts him when I am in pain...especially if the pain is caused because of our relationship. I wouldn’t give up this for the world but society has to make everything harder for people just trying to be who they are.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sorry I didn’t mean to worry you,” I said slowly pecking his cheek. He blushed a bit at the action but still looked troubled.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You don’t have to be sorry...just know I’m here to talk about things if they are getting hard for you, or even if you just want to talk love,” He slowly brought my chin close to his own. He looked into my eyes with that determined look that I adore so much.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know, thank you.” I said before my alarm went off. I sighed knowing it was going to be another school day. I got out of bed while Shuichi slowly did the same. We both got dressed like any other day...but I knew that it was going to be a harder day today because I have to meet up with some of the concerned parents of my students. Meaning, anyone who has a problem with me even if I’m doing what I can to help their student get passing grades and be able to get better at learning...they still come to talk to me about how I’m not a good teacher. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Every student I have taught before has passed my class with flying colors, because I have taught all my students that if you put the work and time into things you will get better at it. And Principal Monokuma has prided himself with having me as part of the staff. Even some of the other teachers have it out for me because I’m gay...but the principal is more focused on if the job is getting done well more than anything else. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Shuichi moved behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist as I usually do to him when he is getting changed. “I made some coffee for us downstairs,” Shuichi said, placing a gentle kiss on the back of my neck. I shuddered knowing he knows that this is one of my sensitive spots…I gave him a small glare before joining him to go down to the kitchen.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Our kitchen was small, but it was all we needed. We don’t eat at home much because we just make things here to take to work or other places we have to go. But when we do have a home cooked meal we only have it with one another because that’s the best meal in my opinion. Being able to eat with Shuichi and Shuichi alone.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I don’t mind living the life we have made for us in our house. It’s calming and nice to be able to have the simple things every once and awhile. Because having the adventures me and Shuichi get to go on sometimes is better than anything I could ever ask for. Even though they aren’t always this big thing it’s still nice to have them as memories.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I made sure to give Shuichi a hug and kiss before I left. I knew this was able to give him a boost for the day and I’m sure I needed the boost for today as well…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>.   .   .</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Ring</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ok, class has started please take your seats!” I said standing up from my desk. I feel nervous about the whole parent meeting at the end of today but that doesn’t mean they aren’t going to get a good lesson today!</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We are going to be learning about how you can hone your talent! Meaning, learning some ways to be able to focus and be able to make the most progress by using your time to the fullest!” I exclaimed, writing some tips on the board. I could tell some of the students looked more tired than they usually are…especially Masakini.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After giving them some research they can work on in groups I walked over to Masakini’s table. “Hey Masakini, you seem a little off today...do you want to talk about it?” I asked, putting a hand on her shoulder. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Masakini is one of the school's proudest lesbians. She has been for the entire school year and I heard that recently she and Nashina had gotten together. I hope that the relationship is going ok...because the discrimination can make it very hard to be a couple. But luckily for me and her everyone in my class is very supportive of anyone, if they are who they want to be, why judge them for it if it’s not hurting anyone else?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sorry...just my mom is coming to talk to you today, because she is blaming you for my relationship with Nasahina...even though it was my choice and I have been like this ever since I can remember...I’m sorry Professor Oma,” She whispered with some tears coming to her eyes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey Sani, could you be in charge for a moment,” I excused myself from the class so I could talk to her without her having to worry about the class watching. Sani gave me a nod before I left with Masakini. She started to cry and I immediately pulled her into a hug.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s ok Masahina, you don’t have to feel bad about your mom coming after me. I can handle it,” I said as she started to calm down. She pulled back a moment later and looked up at me.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But my mom can be relentless especially with anyone who doesn’t fit her criteria of the correct person…” She sighed, wiping some of her tears away. I put my hand to my chin. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I will try to reason with her when she comes, I don’t want you to have to worry about this all day ok? Have you talked to Nasahina?” I asked trying my best to keep her at ease. Nasahina is a good girl and I was glad that she is the one Masakini got together with. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, and she said that the only thing that mattered is if I’m happy. But I’m worried she is going to take me out of your class…” She said with another frown. I sighed and placed my hand on her shoulder.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I will discuss this with the principal and I’m sure I will be able to get him to make that your decision, because in the end it’s your decision,” She smiled and gave me another hug. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thank you for that Professor Oma!” She exclaimed before we made our way back into the classroom. There was small chatter about the research and some people making new ideas. It caused me to smile. I love my class.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thank you Sani,” I whispered to her as she made her way back to her seat. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Of course Professor Oma! You are always there to help all of us so it’s the least I can do!” She smiled. I’m assuming she was able to get a better handle on her homework just like I know she was able to. She is such a bright girl. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I made my way back to my desk and asked the class to bring up some commentary and give me their thoughts. “So, what were you guys able to find?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sani raised her hand first as well as her partner Menki. “Sani,” I called on her before she spoke.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We found that it is most helpful to get rid of distractions! Meaning, if you are able to find a quiet place to be able to focus on the thing you are working on it had been proven to help you get it done faster!” She exclaimed before Menki added some commentary.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I have tried this at home with my own writing! I timed it and when I was working when other people were in the room being loud and distracting me it took me about an hour or more to get 1,000 words done. But when I was able to work on it on my own time in my room, I was able to get it done in under 20 minutes!” He said with a smile. I love these kinds of discussions! Seeing them put all of this together while being able to apply it in their own lives, it’s what I live for!</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s a great collection of data and evidence of that! Thank you!” I said with a smile before calling on Masakini and her partner who was working on his own while we were talking. Kanak must have already updated her on what he found.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We found that being able to get the most out of a shorter time is mostly based on focus, but clearing your mind is also helpful to help you focus,” Kanak said before turning it over to Masakini.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes, this can include writing anything that is bothering you or anything that is coming to your mind to distract you on paper before you start working so you know you can come back to it!” She said pausing before pulling out a notebook.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Before I start any homework, I always make sure that anything that is bothering me is written down so I can come back to it after I get my homework done!” She exclaimed with a smile. We have been working on these tips for today and yesterday and these kids as usual have surprised me by going above and beyond yet again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“These are great! I’m impressed by all of your hard work!” I exclaimed again before the bell rang dismissing them to lunch. The rest of the day was just as amazing as my first class! All of these kids are so smart and able to reason and use evidence to find things out it reminds me of my beloved detective.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I looked down at our wedding photo before I was interrupted by a knock on the door. Confused, I walked over and opened the door. It was what looked like Masakini’s mother. I gulped but I invited her in.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You must be Masakini’s mother, welcome to my classroom,” I said with a smile as she went to sit down in one of the desks close to my desk. I moved my chair to the front of the desk so we could talk...I was preparing myself for what she was going to say.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You must be Professor Oma…” She said with a frown. This is already going south…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes, I am. What is it you would like to talk about? Masakini’s has been performing very well in my class and I am proud of all the progress she has made-“ She cut me off with a snappy tone of voice.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s not why I’m here, I already know that my daughter is going to perform the best because she is mine,” She said with a cold glare. I shuddered but kept my composure.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t think a gay fag as a teacher is a good influence on my daughter...I think you are giving her the wrong ideas, because she has a girlfriend and that is unacceptable.” She spat making me able to understand more of the situation.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Her father is supporting of the idea of her being...gay. But I do not accept anything of the sort! So I will not tolerate her teacher telling her that it is ok!!” She yelled, slamming her hands on the table. I kept my mouth in a tight line.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I never bring my views of anything other than education to the classroom and I’m trying to help my students become more comfortable with themselves so they can become the best they can be,” I started only for her to cut me off again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That doesn’t matter when becoming the best! All that matters is how successful you are,” She yelled. I frowned and put my hand to my chin.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“In my classroom learning isn’t the only thing that matters, how the students are feeling matters to me as well. Because if they aren’t feeling alright they can’t focus,” I said calmly trying not to make her mother any more agitated than she already is.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Focus...she has been pretty distracted. But I’m sure that’s because-“ I cut her off this time.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“She must feel overwhelmed if you are always holding all of these expectations above her...and that could be distracting her,” She looked dumbfounded for a moment before she angrily muttered to herself.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You don’t know how to raise my daughter! But she has been performing better while being in your class so I won’t take her out of your class...but I don’t like who you are Professor Oma!” She said before leaving my class slamming the door behind her. I sighed to myself...that was intense.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Ring ring</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I heard my phone ringing on my desk and it was Shuichi calling. “Oh hey Shu!” I exclaimed with a smile. I’m glad after that I get to talk to Shuichi. It’s my break period before my last class...so I needed something to make me feel better.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I heard that you had to talk to another parent today...so how did that go?” He asked. I frowned a bit but decided to talk to him about some of it. The rest and the whole story can wait until later.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It went alright. I was able to reason with her into keeping Masakini in my class, so it didn’t go terrible...but she was hard to deal with,” I sighed, rubbing my hand to my forehead. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s no good, but I want to hear all that happened when we get home together...on another note would you like to go to one of Kaede’s concerts with Rantaro and Himiko this Saturday?” He asked. I haven’t talked to Rantaro or Himiko in a long time...I mean in person anyway, we text sometimes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah! I would love that!” I smiled hearing the bell ring again. Another class to run!</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I heard the bell! Best of luck to you!! I love you!” He said before hanging up. Students had already been coming to take their seats. I’m ready for anything that comes my way, because I know I want to help these students become the best they can be!</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>-Here is the next part for this one! I hope you all enjoyed it!! Thank you all so much for reading!!-</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>-ShuichiOuma010-</em>
  </b>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0085"><h2>85. Class is in Session {Fluff} [Part 3]</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“Welcome to class!” I exclaimed as they took their seats. I smiled at them feeling happy that I was able to teach another set of students. Today was Friday meaning the weekend was coming after this period. I will miss teaching my class as I do every weekend, but at least I get to see my beloved Friday night and most of Saturday and Sunday! I always look forward to that. There is also that concert he mentioned that would be taking place on Saturday. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I love being able to go to Kaede’s concerts with friends and my own family. By family I mean me and Shuichi. I never knew my parents, only the foster families I was constantly in and out of because I was labeled as a difficult child...but that doesn’t matter too much to me, because I’m sure if I ever knew them I wouldn’t be a teacher today and I wouldn't have been able to meet all of my good friends!</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Ring </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Today we will be discussing how you can be able to find your own ways to hone your talents and be able to use your time to the fullest when working on any task!” I said after the bell rang. Some of the students groaned a bit, but I knew it was only because of this being one of their final classes. I sighed a bit to myself before continuing.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You will all be working with a partner for the first portune of class while we will have a discussion follow shortly after.” I said before letting them go off on their own. I noticed that one of my students, Danni Kunzo had fallen asleep on her papers. She has a tendency to do this during this class. The main reason is because of her insomnia that her mother mentioned to me, she got the principle to give her daughter permission to take a nap during the first little bit of the class if the teacher approved. I was one of the teachers who did. So, whenever she needs some rest I just let her be. This is because honestly, she really needs it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I walked around the room making sure the students were working or were keeping their conversations appropriate. I don’t mind if they start to have a deeper conversation that begins to grow into something else, because that’s what I love being able to see and hear in my class. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After they had all wrapped up and were ready to share their points we started another discussion. Just as the class before I was very interested and surprised with the ideas they have. It was so amazing being able to see them able to put these things together as well as the students who have applied these things in their lives soon seeing progress from the change they made. This is what being a teacher will always mean to me. Seeing your students learn and grow as they continue living their lives.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Ring</b>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>But as always...the day had to come to an end. The final bell rang dismissing them so I could clean up my class. There were some notes that students left on the floor, they were mostly notes they passed with another student. There was paper remains as well as some trash that I needed to clean up. After finishing the minor cleaning job that needed to be done, I started to put the things I needed to take home in my shoulder bag that I use for school. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I got the bag from Shuichi after I got my teaching job at Hope’s Peak. It was a nice gray bag with a dark gray strap. It was a leather shoulder bag, with padding on the place the strap would rest on my shoulder making it more comfortable to wear when carrying it. He got my initials sewn into the fabric on the inside of the bag which was printed with a faded checker print. He knows how much I love that pattern and it made me happy when he gave me this bag, because even while I’m at work I have a small part of him that I get to have with me.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There were no other teachers in the building when I left. I locked my classroom door behind me after getting my things and pulling my bag onto my shoulder. It was nice to be able to have a time where I could just walk out of the building without all the commotion and chaos of the day…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oma,” I heard principal Monokuma say from behind me. I turned around and looked at him. He was wearing his usual smile on his face causing me to smile back. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Principal Monokuma,” I greeted wondering why he wanted to talk to me at the end of school. Did I do something wrong? Maybe it’s another parent complaint…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I wanted to thank you, you are one of the teachers who is given a harder time because you are open about who you are. But know that I appreciate how well you teach those kids and I’m sure they feel the same,” He patted my shoulder and left before I could give a response. I stood there for a moment. Why did he bring that up all of a sudden? I felt confused before I smiled to myself. It’s nice to know that I’m appreciated here because I enjoy this job and I care for all of my students. So, I’m glad he sees that I’m working hard.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>.   .   .</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The light from the sun was slowly fading away as it took its place beneath the clouds. It was bringing a calming feeling to me as I walked out to my car. It was a small white car because me and Shuichi both need our own cars. This being because his jobs hours are unpredictable most of the time...but it’s nice to have my own car, because I don’t have to bother him with using it when he needs it for work.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I let the day play through my head over and over again before I heard my phone ring. I was connected to my car so the car voice spoke. “Shuichi Saihara is calling, would you like me to answer?” It said before it made a beeping noise indicating that I could speak. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes,” I said before it answered the phone. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Kichi, how are you doing?” He asked making me smile a bit as I was getting closer to the long road on the way home. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m doing good my beloved~ but how are you doing?” I asked.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Today was an ok day, there was a intense case that came up...but me and Kyoko were able to figure it out quickly so I was able to leave early!” He said. I could tell he was smiling even over the phone.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m glad! How long have you been out of work?” I asked, wondering how quick he was able to get that done. He is a very accomplished detective so it doesn’t surprise me...but I feel kinda bad that he could just have been sitting at home for an hour or more when I could have called him while I was getting ready to leave.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“When I called you on your break earlier,” He said. I frowned a bit because that was quite a while ago.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So you have just been sitting at home?” I asked, feeling more curious about what he has been doing for the last two hours. Probably reading a book, he loves reading books for hours on end. Sometimes it gets annoying but I have learned to live with it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I called Kaede and that’s when I learned about the concert! She also mentioned that Rantaro and Himiko were going as well, so I messaged them and told them we would both be attending. Which reminds me tomorrow they want to go and get dinner before with some other friends and they want us to join them, would that be ok with you?” He asked pausing for a moment.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, that sounds fun!” I exclaimed with a smile. I was a little disappointed it wouldn’t just be the two of us, but we would have the rest of the weekend together so that didn’t last long.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Alright, I still want to hear about your day when you get home!” He said.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ok, I’m looking forward to seeing you Shu~,” I said with a teasing tone.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Y-yeah, bye Kichi, I love you,” He said with a small stutter making me laugh a bit.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I love you too, love~” I said before ending the call. The rest of the ride home was me listening to my pop playlist while singing along at times. Shuichi always thinks it's cute that I do this, but even if he didn’t I would do it anyway.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When I got to pull into the driveway I quickly turned off the car, grabbed my bag, keys, and locked the car before rushing to open the door. I opened the door and Shuichi was standing behind the door a little bit to avoid getting hit, but soon after the door opened I ran into him pulling him into a hug. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Woah! A-are you ok?” He asked blushing. I smiled to myself at my achievement of making him blush.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I am now, I missed your affection~,” I teased gently brushing my fingers against the base of his neck which made him flinch and yelp. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“...” Shuichi didn’t respond. I looked up and saw him covering his face with his hand, meaning I embarrassed him maybe a little too much~,</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I made you embarrassed my beloved~,” I poked his cheek before making my way over to the couch after putting my bag in the closet by the door as well as throwing my keys into the dish. Shuichi followed me over to the couch after he got over his embarrassment.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So...how was your day today?” He asked, pulling me into his lap. I hate being short about 90% of the time, but in situations like this I like being shorter than Shuichi.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“The meeting with the parent was the same thing as usual, getting worried about their gay kid because they believe I ‘made them gay’,” I put my hands up to make air quotes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“She was worried her daughter was going against her by getting a girlfriend because of my influence, I told her about how I don’t put my views on anything other than learning and education on my students. She eventually calmed down and said that she wouldn’t pull her daughter from my class because she is making good progress in my class…” I sighed leaning into him, I dislike people who do that kind of thing to their kids...because over all that should be the kids choice if they want to stay in a class or not.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s no good...I’m sorry people keep doing that to you, but I know that you and the principle are on good terms so thats all that really matters,” I smiled a bit.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah you are right! And about that, Monokuma came up to me today and told me how he appreciates me and he sees that my students do as well, I felt a little confused, but I was glad he was seeing my dedication to teaching my students,” Shuichi moved his hands to massage my shoulders. I carry my stress in my shoulders so it’s always nice to have a massage after a stressful day...Shuichi is the same way, so I do this for him when he has a stressful day as well.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He said that?” He asked.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I still don’t know why he did at such a random time,” I sighed still feeling confused about the whole thing that happened after school.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s nice of him to do. Because you do put a lot of work and effort into your job, and he even sees that. I’m so proud of you,” He kissed the top of my head. I turned around so I would be able to face him and see his face.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That was my day Shu~ but what about you?” I asked before he put his hand on my cheek giving me that look when he is thinking of something. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“There was another case of a child kidnapper...but we were able to catch him after he took a girl who had a watch with a tracker in it.” He said with a serious expression.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That definitely is something intense...god I wish people wouldn’t just do things like that to others…” I whispered gently, kissing his cheek. He smiled a bit.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But, then I got to come home and talk to Kaede about the concert and that made it better, and now I get to be here with you…” He paused moving us both so we were laying down on the couch. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“...I do feel really exhausted because of this though…” He said with a groan. I kissed his forehead before gently kissing his lips.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You should get some sleep then...why don’t we go up to our room,” I said before helping him up as he rubbed his eyes. We walked up the stairs before he fell onto the bed already having his eyes closed. I changed myself into my pajamas before I took his shoes off and slid into the bed next to him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Good night,” I whispered, moving my hand to his waist as his went around my waist.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0086"><h2>86. Letting Go {Angst}</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>
    <em>T/W Intense themes of self-hate, self-harm, suicide, abandonment, sexual harassment, attempted rape, abuse, emotional abuse.</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <span>Sometimes letting go is the best thing you can do for yourself. People can teach you many things, but you need to know when you have learned all you can from them. And that they are no longer good for you at all.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Some people will teach you what love is and others will teach you what love isn't. Knowing when people are doing this can only help you be able to learn and move on.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>//</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"You don't even have any value to anyone," She said this coldly to me. Tears were already forming in my eyes, but I know better than to talk back to him.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I moved my hands to my face trying to hide my tears. She slapped my hands away and tightly gripped them in her hands.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"You don't look away from me! I loved you and yet you still disappoint me with your crying and winning!" She started yelling and she was gripping onto my hands hard enough that her nails drew blood. I winced and it made her get even madder.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"You think that hurts?! Do you know what hurts?! What you did to me you dumbass!" She slapped my cheek. I felt more tears coming out of my eyes.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>All I did was break things off with her because she is cheating on me with one of her other friends. She claimed they were just friends but I walked in on them making out so...</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>She threw me to the floor and pulled my hair forcing me to face her. I couldn't stop crying and I knew that my tears were making her even madder...Just stop crying for fucks sake!</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"Useless, look at you. You could only be good to be used by someone else. You have a nice body I'm jealous of that Shuichi, but that just means you are only good for a sex toy!! Wanting nothing more than someone in your ass! So, wait for the person who is going to pity you and your submissive ass." She turned on her heel after slapping my face again causing me to bite my lip drawing blood. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I'm sure I looked like a bloody mess. She hasn't ever really been that nice to me...even when we first got together she was so kind and caring when we were in public...but when we were alone all she wanted was to have sex and when I refused her...she would beat me and touch me as she masturbated. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>She even called me sometimes when I'm at work while she is masturbating...I didn't want her to get mad at me so I didn't say anything and just went along with it. She always tried to get me to come back to my house so we could have sex...</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>This is the third time she has done this to me but she always comes back and apologizes the next day...but this time...she didn't. She has these episodes all the time...and I don't really have anyone else to talk to about this.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I felt my phone ping as I walked over to shut the door to my house. She posted on her Instagram and Facebook telling everyone what happened.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>She already spread rumors about me...can't say that I'm surprised.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>.  .  .</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"My name is Kaede, want to sit with me at lunch?" She was the first friend I had made in Junior high and I was so moved that she wanted to be friends with me. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"Y-yeah, thanks for asking," I said quietly holding onto my arm. I felt nervous talking to anyone but around her it seems worse somehow.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"Yeah! You're my friend!" When she said the word friend I felt myself smile. I finally made a friend.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>After some time we were always sitting together at lunch with some of her other friends. Her other friends were nice but Kaede was the only one I paid any attention to. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>In grade 5 I was hated by everyone because of the rumors one of my ex-friends spread about me...all the boys only wanted to touch me...because they all thought I was a slut...even though I have never had sex or even kissed anyone.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"Hey, you want to go on a date with me?" We were standing next to each other at Freetime and she texted me this...I didn't think much of it at the time, but I turned her down.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I didn't want her to go on a date with me...I just don't feel comfortable getting in a relationship after all the failed ones I have had so far...and I was right.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>She started to bully me and spread the same rumors I had heard before. I started to wear darker clothing because I noticed people avoided me when I did this. Soon after I started wearing a hat to cover my eyes.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Sometimes she would come up to me saying I needed to apologize for what was going on with her and her friends. And it was usually her yelling at me until I gave in. She tried to kiss me multiple times and she had touched me many times...groping me and other things...</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>This made me hate myself so much more...after this ended I had this childhood friend that always was by my side. Kaito Momota.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>.   .   .</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Kaito and I have been friends since grade 4 and we were always hanging out and laughing together...at one point I had feelings for him. He said he felt the same...but soon enough he left me for some girl.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Whenever I see them together my own self-hate multiply by ten. I was cutting myself almost every day and scratching my back until it started to bleed and then picking off the scabs whenever they came back. My back looks disgusting from the thick scars from scratching my back all the time.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I started exercising to give me some sort of routine over the summer and have been doing my routine ever since. I have become stronger and my body has more muscle on it because of this. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I still had some problems with wanting to talk to anyone, but I did open up to my friend who is like a brother to me. Rantaro Amami. Whenever me and Kaito would hangout he was always on his phone talking to his girlfriend so me and Rantaro would always hangout instead leaving him to talk to his girl.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>.   .   .</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>//</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Now I'm 19 and I'm still best friends with Rantaro and we still go on walks every day to talk. He introduced me to Maki and Ryoma. We all go out at least once a week to hang out and I have never felt so happy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I have moved on from all the abuse and torment those people caused me. I have finally let go of my feelings for Kaito and the regret I have from being with Kaede. I always thank my friends, my real friends, for getting me out of my slump. Helping me to continue on.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hey! Shuichi!" I saw Rantaro waving over to me. He was walking with another person. He was shorter than him and had purple-dyed hair. I was curious and walked over to him with a small wave.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hey, Rantaro, how have you been?" I asked. He was super busy with school for the past week so we didn't get to talk much.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well, I was able to find Kokichi at school and we have a lot of the same classes!" He smiled gesturing to Kokichi and the smaller male waved to me.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hello, Shuichi! Rantaro-Chan has told me so much about you!" I felt a blush come to my face when I heard his voice.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>cute</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>"H-hi!" I said awkwardly. I could tell Rantaro knew that I was acting differently around him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It's nice to meet you! Me and Rantaro-chan were just walking back from a study session! We were going to grab some coffee, do you want to join us?" My blush increased when he invited me. He was so adorable, from his eyes to his smile. What am I feeling? What if he just wants to use me? Shut up Shuichi! You just met him! Calm the fuck down!</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I took a deep breath before responding. "Sure, that sounds nice," He smiled back at me and we all walked to the nearest cafe.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kokichi was talking to me and we were having a conversation while Rantaro just smiled at me. It was nice to be able to meet someone new, especially someone who had some of the same interests as me.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I found out that him and I have some classes together. We exchanged numbers so we can work on homework together and be able to hangout. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Maybe letting go of the past made me be able to get this future.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I guess sometimes we just have to let go of the past.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <b>-Here is today's one-shot! I hope you liked it...sorry for the dark topic...I was just having flashbacks yesterday and remembered all the terrible people who have harmed me...but I am so glad that I have some people who have patience and haven't given up on me...and I want to thank them for getting me out of my slump. Thank you all so much for reading!!-</b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>-ShuichiOuma010-</em>
  </b>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0087"><h2>87. Criminal X Detective {Fluff/Angst}</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Kokichi Oma. One of the most feared crime bosses. Leader of DICE...we were lucky to capture him and I was the one who got to interrogate him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I have always been trying to see past his lies but they are all over and so hard to decipher. Like a puzzle with no picture and while you are building it you question what the hell it is even supposed to be.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I walked down to the interrogation room where they were holding him. The 13th room on the third floor. This room is only used for the most tricky criminals to catch. And Kokichi definitely needed one of the lore secure rooms.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He has already escaped 4 prisons and I'm not even sure how he was able to do it every time...but maybe after talking with him I can get some answers. They chose me to be the one to interrogate him because of the odd connection I have with him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I placed my hand on the doorknob...all I could wonder is why he did the things he did. Does he have someone that he is trying to steal for? How was his group even formed? And why the hell does he always screw with me?!</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rubbing my forehead where I could feel a small headache starting. I looked into the room and as most of the other interrogation rooms...he was bound to the chair and he had a bag on his head. This made me assume that they have already beaten the shit out of him...I hate how this is how people think they will get others to talk...</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Who is it~?" He said through the bag. I was surprised that he still had a teasing tone to his voice in the condition he was in. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"It's me Shuichi Saihara, I'm here to interrogate you." I sighed and took my seat at the table. He was on the other side just sitting there barely even moving at all. I pulled the bag off of his head to reveal his bruised and bloody face. I wanted to help him patch it up but that could wait.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"You look absolutely dazzling detective~," He smirked making me groan. This is going to be a long night...</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Quit the games Kokichi! Why did you do it? Why do you steal all the time?" I tried to keep my voice calm and was able to after asking some of the questions. He still had the mischievous look on his face while his mouth stayed in his teasing smirk.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Oh~? But because I wanted to see you Mister Detective~," He smirked again laughing a bit. His tone was as if he was joking about all of this...and that I should know that what he was saying was true...but I'm not going to buy it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kokichi Oma is the ultimate liar...</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"That can't be true...so why did you steal from all those places? Stealing some of the rarest gemstones to some of the most priceless paintings. What are you even doing with them?" I was feeling myself getting irritated already. Talking with Kokichi makes me feel so exhausted.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Whenever I was chasing him he would always just tease me. Making me think I was close to getting him just to slip away the last second...</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"You really want to know don't you~, well I guess I'll tell you then," He paused for a moment taking in a breath.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"These things were stolen from people who were passing them down throughout their families...heirlooms and relics~ but sadly enough the people stole them out of the line just to use them for their own personal gain," He turned back to me as his teasing smirk returned. This can't be true right? I mean he does only steal from fairly wealthy people so I guess it could- no, he could be lying...</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I see you don't believe me mister detective~," He sighed and put his head down. "Well then check the files! If you look at them then you can see if I'm lying or not~," He was teasing again...</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I opened his overflowing case file and flipped through the cases. He also got Kyoko to bring him the files of the people he stole from...and surprisingly all of them had a little darker past then they had first made us believe.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I started at Kokichi with a suspecting glare. Is this a joke?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Well I would expect my beloved Shumai to know who I am~ I'm not all bad my beloved~!" He smiles at me and I felt a ping of remembrance. But I couldn't decipher what it was from...does he know me? Did we know each other before?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I am pretty well known so he may just be entertained by me and that's why he is always screwing with me. No, I can't remember who he is...</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Shuichi..." He paused and put his head down. His hair was covering his face and I could tell he was angry. Even though most of his emotions are a lie...I can just tell that this can't be good. What is he so mad about? Should I remember him?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His eyes were cold and lifeless as they stared at me. Piercing into my soul making all this guilt come to my shoulders. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"You have no idea who I am...do you?" The question hit me hard...but I couldn't say that I did know him. Sure we have been chasing after him for a long time and we have had this weird relationship he created for us...but do we really know each other...?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"No...I can't say that I do," He sighed and I could see some tears come to his eyes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"This whole time I thought we had something...that's the main reason I kept leaving hints for you to find me Shuichi..." I felt my eyes widen. He was leaving hints for me? But why?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I guess they were all right...there is no way you could remember me," He smiled again before laughing his signature laugh.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I guess Shuichi you have finally caught me! Congratulations~! Nishishi~," I could see he was in pain behind the smile. I wanted to be able to know what he was thinking of...and how he thinks we know each other.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The officers came in with the handcuffs before he said one more thing before they escorted him out.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I stole your heart and now I'm satisfied,"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>-I was looking through some writing prompts on Pinterest and I thought this would be a great one for this idea I had! I might do a part two but I'm not sure...anyway, thank you all so much for reading!!-</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>-ShuichiOuma010-</em>
  </b>
</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0088"><h2>88. Criminal X Detective {Fluff/Angst} [Part 2]</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>
    <span>.   .  .</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"Kokasa? What brought this along all of the sudden?" Shuichi asked confused why Kokichi was acting off and way out of character.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Kokasa looked back at him with a smile. "You don't know me Shumai, and you definitely don't love me so don't lie to me~," He said in a teasing tone putting his hands behind his head. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Kokasa and Shuichi have been friends for a long time but Kokasa has always been doing everything he can do to try to get Shuichi's attention. But the oblivious detective had no clue this is what he was trying to do. Every time he got a new lover...every time he called him to vent about another breakup...it was all to try to get him to finally see him.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"What do you mean? Of course, I love you! You are like my family Koka," He responded walking over to put a hand on his shoulder. Kokasa flinched under his touch and walked away from him.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"Sorry I just have to move soon! Actually today! I'm leaving you my beloved~ guess I'll see you on the other side!" He exclaimed as he rushed out the front door. Shuichi tried to run after him but he couldn't even make it to him in time and he wasn't turning around after any of his calls...</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"Kokasa! Wait!" He yelled as a final plea before Kokasa was gone. Shuichi didn't think more about his childhood friend. He never really saw him again and he didn't know where he went. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>.  .  .</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Do you remember the name I used to go by don't you Shu-Chan?" He said keeping his gaze cold. Shuichi froze in his tracks.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>How could Kokichi know about that? That was so long ago...could it be that-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"You were my childhood friend Kokasa?!" He gasped trying to hold his surprise in but he wasn't doing a great job at that. He couldn't believe that he has known Kokichi for longer than he thought...he always thought he just liked toying with him...he never thought that he did that because it was the same thing Kokasa did.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"You pieced it together perfectly Mister Detective! Nishishi~ just like I knew you would!!" He smirked at him again regaining his playful manner. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Shuichi just looked at him. "Then why did you-"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Why did I end up becoming a criminal?~" He teased looking back up at Shuichi. Shuichi just looked irritated and confused. He didn't want to believe that when his best friend left all those years ago it was to become this...the thief that he now has to incriminate...</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I'll tell you only because you are my favorite~," He teased again before going serious. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"It isn't exactly a nice story to hear I will warn you," He looked down at his hands letting his hair cover his eyes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>.   .   . </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"Kokasa! Wait!" Shuichi yelled after me but I didn't listen to him. I'm leaving and I'm going to make sure he notices me...even if I have to become what he hates just so he notices me...</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I sighed and bought a bus ticket to go a couple of towns down from where I originally lived. I met some people on the way there and I took them all under my wing. And I formed DICE.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>10 members, all people who loved to prank others. We started out being completely harmless pranks but then another rival gang came in and we had a turf war...they wanted the area we had calmed as our ground and we weren't going to give it up to them...but then things got violent.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I lost twenty of my members. Because after we officially formed more people joined and it came around to almost 10,000 members. I then gained the title of the ultimate supreme leader...</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"Kokichi! Be careful!" My mic was baring with all the worries of my 10 main subordinates. I changed my name after leaving because I needed another alias to go under. So Kokichi Ouma was the name I chose instead of Kokasa Aniko...</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I faked my own death as well and changed my hair, eyes, and clothes to become a new person. With Kokasa dead Kokichi was born. And I never felt more alive. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>My family was never in the picture so to help with them! What could they do about my crimes? Absolutely nothing! </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I still had trouble sleeping and Shuichi was the only person I would ever think about besides the others in my group. He was all I cared about. Every heist I left some clues hoping that my favorite detective would figure it out and catch me. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Of course, I didn't want my group to suffer for these decisions...so I made all of the clues point to me...and if I got caught Jo~di~di was going to take over for me. So I had a plan for what was going to happen. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I loved Shuichi and this was going to make him notice me. No matter if he liked it or not.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I know I'm going against what he told me, but when have I been one to listen? Of course, I had asked him what he wanted to do when he was older and he told me he wanted to be a world renowned detective. And I was proud of him...but I used this information to be able to get close to becoming exactly what would make him notice the new me...becoming a criminal. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I had to do crimes a little more intense than I was comfortable with...but anything to talk to Shuichi again.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>We had druggies join and people who have murdered others...so obviously the job was going to get a little messy and it did. There are multiple times where I have wished I could just die and rot away because of how much I hated having to do what I do. Some jobs I had to crossdress and seduce people so we could rob them or even kill them sometimes...</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I have almost died on many of the jobs...but my passion for Shuichi is what fueled me.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>.   .   .</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"So you did this all for me? But why?" Shuichi felt tears come to his eyes. His best friend felt so ignored that he felt this was the only way to make him see him. He frowned and sat back down at the opposite side of the table from Kokichi.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Because I love you a lot and I want your eyes to be on me," His face was cold and almost expressionless as his hair covered his eyes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"You love me?" He asked still feeling like he was lying to him. Kokichi nodded and looked up at him again. Some tears were coming down his cheeks while his expression was still blank.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I believe that what you did is the very thing I told you to never do...so why didn't you just tell me?" He asked trying to reason with him. Kokichi felt angered at his response and wanted to just be able to go over there to slap him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Did you really think I would listen?" He glared are him and scoffed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"When have I been the one to listen to what anyone tells me?! And like hell, I would believe you! You only cared about Kaede and your other friends!" He felt his throat become dry as he held in his tears.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"You never care about me! And I guess now it just proves that!! Your life was easier after I left right?! I mean, of course, it would be...I was always dragging you down..." His voice went to a whisper and he rested his head on the table.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"What else do you need to know detective before they take me away?" He said holding his head down. He looked up a moment later and smiled at Shuichi. He could tell it was a fake smile but didn't say anything as his face fell into a frown. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I just have one more question...why did you fall in love with me?" He asked while two other guards came in to drag Kokichi out to the cop car. They were going to take him to prison upstate close to Shuichi's apartment and the closest to the station they were at.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Because you are amazing Shuichi even if you don't see it I fell in love with all of it...all of you," they pulled him out of the room while Shuichi just sat in a chair in a daze.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Shuichi are you doing alright?" Kyoko walked into the interrogation room and put a hand on his shoulder snapping him out of his daze.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His thoughts were dark clouds blocking the view of any sort of response he could have muttered. He couldn't even think about anything other than what Kokichi said to him moments before. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Did you really think I would listen?" He glared are him and scoffed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Shuichi let his thoughts get the better of him as he cried. He missed his friend and remembers all the times he would wait on his front porch under a tree for him to come back...but he never did.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Out of all the ways, he thought they would be reunited...this was definitely not one of them...maybe if he just told him or if Kokichi just came out and said it he wouldn't be going to jail right now...and they could be-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Together.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>.   .   .</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Years have past and Kokichi's 15 year sentence was coming to a close. It was going to be a life sentence but because of cooperation and Shuichi fighting for his case, they shortened it to only 15 years.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Hey Kokichi, you only have a couple of months left before you are released," Shuichi said into the phone. Kokichi laughed on the other side and looked at Shuichi on the other side of the glass. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"That sounds wonderful," He smirked over at him and Shuichi rolled his eyes. Kokichi was going to be moving in with him after all of this passed. Shuichi told him they can catch up after all the years they were apart and maybe they could become close friends just as they were before.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kaede and Shuichi used to live together for a while when they were together but Shuichi just wasn't looking for a relationship while that's all Kaede wanted. He always felt like he was missing something and he was always zoning out...so in the end, they both decided it would be best if they broke things off.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Well, know that I already have a room ready for you," He said before he stood up. The bell sounded throughout the area indicating that visiting hours had ended. Kokichi frowned but complied and walked back to the main room of confinement.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Shuichi walked out the door and drove home so he would be able to get more casework done. Kyoko was working on another case with him trying to find some of the other rival gangs. Such as FIRE and 3o47. They are causing more trouble closer to the main city which is concerning for the entire police unit.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It's been going all over the news like wildfire. Reports of terrorist activity and arson...and lots of other things that are killing hundreds and almost thousands of people.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kokichi has been hearing of these things from Shuichi and has been in contact with his group through some of his cellmates and because of how well his group is at breaking in and out of places. Kokichi would have gotten out of confinement a long time ago but decided to stay because of Shuichi.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Every night he would try to think of things he is going to tell Shuichi when he gets out. Even though the way he confessed wasn't the best it was still a confession. And knowing Shuichi still wanted him to move in with him...there is still hope for the two of them.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>.   .  .</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Kokichi!" Kokichi ran up to his car and wrapped his arms around Shuichi. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Thank you for picking me up~," He teased while Shuichi wrapped his arms around him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Of course, but we should get going," Shuichi knew they had a lot of shopping ahead of them. Kokichi was going to need new clothes and he was certain he would want to reorganize his room and even buy some things for his room.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Alright!" He hopped into the passenger seat hating having to still be in the prison garb. They took away his DICE uniform because they needed to keep it for evidence...</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Shuichi brought him back to his house to give him an outfit he had put together for him. It wasn't anything too special...it was just an oversized sweatshirt with some jeans that he was certain would be too big on him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Here you can wear these for the time being." Kokichi gave him a nod and immediately started changing. Shuichi gasped and blushed while he looked away.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Kokichi?!" Kokichi looked over at him with a smile.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"What?" Shuichi shook his head and held his hand on the bridge of his nose.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Nevermind..." He whispered walking back out the door. Kokichi looked nice in the clothes he had chosen for him. Shuichi couldn't help but blush more. His heart was beating and he could hear it in his ears...he was trying to calm his heart down.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He just got out...stop being so hot...why is my face so hot? Why is he so hot? Why am I freaking out?!</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Shuichi quieted his thoughts as he gets into the driver's seat while Kokichi bounced his leg after getting in the passenger seat.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Is there any clothes shop you would like to go to?" He asked looking over at the small male. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Well I don't go to any name brand stores~ I mean when I could buy clothes anyway~ I always thrift shop!" He exclaimed with stars in his eyes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Shuichi smiled and drove them to a local thrift store that Shuichi occasionally went to. The store was pretty nice and had more options than Shuichi thought they would have.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"This is great!" Kokichi exclaimed before picking at least 4 outfits before showing them to Shuichi. He bought the clothes with a smile.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"That was quick," He said when they got back to the car. They had gone to maybe two more stores and Kokichi picked out some bedsheets as well as some other bedroom decor. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Well, I know shopping isn't fun for you so I went fast!!" Shuichi smiled at him. He forgot how considerate his friend was to him and it was nice to see that part of him again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"That's nice of you."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>.  .   .</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Shuichi and Kokichi have been living in the same apartment for a while now and Shuichi finally found out how he really feels about Kokichi.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Hey, Kokichi can I walk with you?" Shuichi said walking over to where Kokichi was sitting. He was reading a book with a cup of mostly sugar coffee. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Of course Shuichi!" He jumped up and slid on his shoes as they walked out the front door.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Shuichi was nervous to talk to him about this. He knew that he had fallen for the criminal who had stolen his heart so long ago. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was like that feeling of when you know something for certain but you aren't able to describe it to other people. He knows that he loves him. But he doesn't know how to tell him about these feelings that have been plaguing him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He sighed and looked up at the sky. Kokichi wasn't saying anything because he was sure that he was distracted by the beauty of the sky turning from day to night. The time where magic hour passes over the living souls of the world. A time where anything can happen.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Kokichi..." Shuichi whispered. Kokichi looked over at him and slowed his pace. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"What is it, my beloved?" He asked holding his hand. Shuichi blushed at this before he continued.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I love you," He stopped and Kokichi took a couple of paces before he stopped as well. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"What?" He asked already feeling his heartbeat quicken. He was trying his hardest to forget about the intoxicating feeling that Shuichi brings to him. It makes him feel so restless but at the same time, he feels as though he has never slept better. It makes him feel like he can't breathe while at the same time he is on the top of the world taking in deep breaths.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I love you and I always have! I know I told you never to fall in love with me...but I guess I ended up falling for you as well!" He gasped closing his eyes while his hands were now clenched into fists by his sides.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"You fell for me?" Kokichi was at a loss for words. He couldn't even process anything. His brain was running on high alert. He never thought this would happen he plans for a lot of situations but this was something he didn't think was possible. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Yes, I want you to be my boyfriend. I want to kiss you. I want to do all the cutesy couple things with you! I think I always have but I denied it because of what my parents wanted..." He put his head down for a moment. He wasn't prepared for rejection...but he wasn't prepared for acceptance either. He was just an anxious mess.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Well I'm glad I wasn't the only one, my confession still stands," Kokichi regained his composure and walked over to Shuichi pulling his head up with his hand.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I confessed to you 17 years ago in that interrogation room...and I still feel the same, so I accept your confession," Shuichi looked at him with tears in his eyes. He let himself fall against him feeling exhausted by how he had been holding this all in.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Thank you," He whispered as he just cried onto his shoulder. Kokichi smiled and let his arms move around his head.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Of course, I'm just glad you love me as I love you," He smiled to himself and looked at the beautiful man in his arms.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I guess some promises were meant to break," He said kissing him on his forehead. They stayed like that for a while. Content with their newfound love even though it was always there.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>-Here is the 100k Oneshot! I hope you all enjoyed it! Thank you so much for reading! And thank you for all of your support!!-</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>-ShuichiOuma010-</em>
  </b>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0089"><h2>89. Snowy Breath {Angst}</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Cold</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cold is a word with many meanings. Cold hearted, cold weather, bitter words, and cold ice. The coldness of a person is determined by the words they say and the actions they do everyday. The coldness of anything else, meaning an object or a frozen treat. Is based off of how far away it is from the heat, or how it is protected by the heat.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cold to me means alone. The coldness of loneliness...and the fear in your chest that you won't ever be able to get out...but knowing I have you it's easier.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But even that doesn't last forever. You have been in a coma for about 2 years now. It's the middle of winter and every day for me is the same. I go into work at 7am and get back in the late afternoon, just to come and visit you in the hospital. Holding your hand for hours, wanting nothing more than for you to wake up. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They keep telling me it's getting close to the time they pull the plug...but I'm sure you can pull through, like you always do right? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I felt my lip quiver. I clenched my hand onto a fist to try and distract myself from the growing pain in my heart. I want nothing more than to be able to see you alive again, because you are alive...I know it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>You were always so warm to my cold heart. I always pushed people away and was too shy to ever tell them anything...so I always stayed quiet. While you on the other hand were my sun.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I was the moon and you my sun. Warming my cold heart allowing me to smile and laugh. I have never been as happy as I have been with you in my life. You helped me be able to accept myself. You helped me be able to have a reason to get up in the morning.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>You were always doing little things for me even if I didn't notice, or pretended not to notice. I have seen all the times you stayed up late to clean the house because I got home super late and was about to pass out. All the little gifts you left me at my office or even on my bedside table. All the mornings you got up and made breakfast for me to eat even though I was only going to be there for a little while.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Kokichi," I gasped holding onto your hand wanting nothing more to feel you hold onto mine back. Tears were coming out of my eyes at this point. I can't even think of the last time I didn't cry myself to sleep...or have had to keep my tears in all day just to breakdown when I come home. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Home, God, our home is so cold without you...I want to be able to have you beside me as I fall asleep. I want to watch movies together again...I want to be able to show you how much I love you. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>If only I was there that night. I was busy with a case and knew I was going to have to stay out later...but I was convinced you were ok with it...even though you weren't...</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>You were feeling so alone because of me. Some lover I am, some husband I am...how could I have made you feel so alone that you though you would be better off it-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I couldn't even finish my sentence before the squeezing pain came back to my lungs. It's getting hard to breathe. I can't do this! Why wasn't I good enough? You were always trying so hard for me! So why couldn't I help you when you needed me most?! Who the hell am I?!</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I let go of your hand to clench my hand into a fist before shoving it into my eye. I wiped away my tears but they never seemed to stop coming...I cried for hours, it even seemed like days...I just wanted you back! Nothing more than to hear your voice again, feel your warmth again, taste your lips again...</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Warm</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Warm is a word with many meanings. You could be warm hearted, warm as in the weather, and warm toasty food. It all sounds so nice. Being able to sit in the warm sand with the warm water hitting your feet. Having a warm blanket on while watching a movie with someone you love on the couch in the winter. Warm as in love. Warming love to soften a cold heart, and able to protect the others from the coldness of the world.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Warm to me only means you. I feel nothing from the sun without you, everything seems blue and cold without you, people seem so distant without you. What is this? Love? I was supposed to be in love with you...being able to be with you...but I even messed that up.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The heart monitor was the only thing helping them to know that you are alive. Knowing that you are still breathing slowly as your heart thumps throughout your chest. Calling to me and telling me to not give up...because you are trying to pull through.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Even though I could have done better...the past is in the past. I can't go back to help you then...but I can be here to help you now. I can always be here for you...no matter what. I won't make the same mistake again darling.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I imagine you waking up almost everyday to tell me you love me. Tell me that it's going to be ok now that we are together...but I'm getting a dwindling feeling of despair in my thoughts and mind. Knowing this is all my fault. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>You could be going to your job right now and teaching all the kids you love much. Sure it's not a legitimate job to some people, but the dedication and work you put into it makes it a job. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>You always go there in the mornings for a while after I leave for work. Then you always finish off your days in the early afternoon. Even though you have a job you are still at home all day alone...</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>You are my sun and I am your moon...but you can't leave the sun in the cold because it won't always shine through. Even though it looks big and bold it's afraid of being alone...so don't let your sun disappear let them know that you want them near. I wish I could have done this with my love...but I was to late to save his life.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Shu-," Was all I heard. A faint whisper ringing through my head. I knew exactly who it was from the tone of the voice so I turned with a smile.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Kokichi," I whispered back to you moving down to hug you. Even though you didn't move your arms I knew that you came back to me...and nothing could do is wrong.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I love you so much and I will never leave you alone again..." I said letting my tears of regret spill down my cheeks and onto my shirt. Your arms were still stuck to the bed but your mouth formed a small frown.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"It's ok love, I'm here," He said in a hoarse voice. I kissed him in his lips before the doctors pulled me away. He came back to me just like I knew he would one day... </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>752 days and nights without you...but you still came through and are here with me now...I won't leave you waiting again, I want to love you to the very end.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>-Sorry for the angst...I'm missing a good friend I lost last year in February...so that's why it's so down. Anyway, thank you all so much for reading!!-</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>-ShuichiOuma010-</em>
  </b>
</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0090"><h2>90. Kiss me you Idiot {Fluff/Angst}</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Adrenaline </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Fear</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Courage</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The rush of it all is what draws me to it. The loud sounds of the passing cars blazing past blasting my ears off. Feeling the intense winds of the cars passing. The hot sun coming down on the track while we are under the shade of the roof of the stadium. The loud cheering coming from the bleachers. The buzz of the cars as they race down the speed way. Everything about the stadium makes me enthralled in this race!</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Shuichi! I knew you would be here!” Kaede said coming to my side. I looked over at her in some disbelief. Kaede never comes to races because they are too loud so why is she here today?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Kaede? What are you doing here?” I asked, gesturing for her to take the seat next to me. She smiled and sat down next to me. I looked up at her and tried to read her expression. She looks happy but more excited...but about what? Did something happen?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I wanted to come and see you! I know you love coming to a certain someone’s races~,” She teased. I blushed almost immediately of course she knew about my little crush.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When I was a younger boy I mean a couple years younger I used to be a racer. And I was pretty talented at it as well...until the incident happened, then I was suspended from racing for about 4 years. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I was devastated not being able to race especially when he was the one I was racing. If I lost to anyone other than him it would hurt that I didn’t do my best...but against him, we were always neck and neck trying our hardest to win against one another, but after the incident it seems he has continued racing as if I never existed on the track.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kokichi Ouma, one of the best rivals I have ever met in the world of racing. While being on my suspension I have attended all of his races. This is because I have wanted to be able to come back to beat him for the first time...because he always seems to beat me right before the finish. But I thank him for that, because it pushes me to become better.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Shuichi?” I felt someone poke my cheek before I came back to reality. My memories got the best of me again and I was back in the past moments before today. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sorry, did you say something Kaede?” I asked rubbing the back of my neck awkwardly. Kaede just sighed and grabbed both of my shoulders making me face her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I told you that I got you a meet up with Kokichi Ouma!” My eyes widened. How was Kaede able to do that? Kokichi is always so busy with talking to the news about being the top racer...and I’m old news anyway…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But how did you-“ She hushed me putting a finger to my lips. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I was able to talk to his childhood friend Rantaro who is the manager at my work and friends with Kirumi! I told him about how I was friends with you and he said Kokichi has been wanting to talk to you for a while now!” I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. My mouth dropped. Kokichi wants to see me? But I thought he had no idea who I was?...</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Kaede but-“ I wanted to ask her a million questions but she hushed me again putting a finger to my lips. She soon handed me a paper that was folded in half before he got up to leave.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Just think about it! And have a nice rest of the race!” She said before leaving through the stadium exit. I was so confused and excited and a whole lot of emotions I could barely think of what to do. Is this a prank?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I shook my head knowing that Kaede isn’t one to joke about these things...especially after the incident. She is a kindhearted person and I can’t see her lying about going out of her way to get me to be able to finally meet Kokichi Ouma.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I opened the paper checking the track to see who was where. Kokichi was still in front as usual while the others trailed behind him. I smiled and looked back down at the paper. All it said on it was,</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Hey! I heard you wanted to meet up with Kokichi! He has been talking about you a lot and wasn’t able to find a way to contact you so, here is his number! </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>XXX-XXX-XXXX </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Think about it!</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>-Rantaro A.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His number...should I just text him after the race? Or would calling be more appropriate? I shrugged and pulled my phone out to make a contact for him so I could message him later without having to type in his phone number. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I watched the rest of the race waiting until they announced the winner. I already knew who would win but I still wanted to stay until the end. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Kokichi Ouma takes first place yet again!” The announcer's shout over the intercom while it shows him waving on the screen. I miss being able to stand next to him on the second place pedestal...I frowned and got up from my chair leaving the stadium not caring much for the other racers.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Why would Kokichi want to contact me? I can’t race until at least next year! Sure I have recovered from the crash...but I am suspended until at least next year...so what’s even the point?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I left the stadium seeing as the sun was already starting to set. I drove back to my apartment. I love alone and Kaede is always worried about me because of how off I have been without racing...without being able to race.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I sighed, throwing my keys on the table before making my way up to my room. There were posters of Kokichi and his number on the walls. My room is completely in a theme based off of him. Purple and checkered patterns throughout my room. Maybe this isn’t good? Am I too obsessed with him?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I looked down at my phone in my hand. I should message him...I opened up his contact in my phone regardless and typed up a message.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Shuichi: Hey Kokichi, this is Shuichi Saihara. I was told by a friend of mine that you wanted to meet up sometime? Your friend Rantaro gave me this number to contact you on, I would love to meet up if you would like to.</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I sent the message and immediately felt nervous that I said the wrong thing. Was this a dumb decision? What if he doesn’t even text back? He probably-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Buzz Buzz</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>My phone buzzed? I pulled out my phone and checked the front screen as it lit up. Kokichi? He already responded? I thought he would be busy with after race interviews or something…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Kokichi: Hey ShuShu! I have wanted to meet up with you for about, forever! I would love to grab some coffee sometime! What about 8:00 tomorrow? Just at the Mono Cafe?</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Shuichi: Yeah that sounds good! I’ll see you then!</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Kokichi: 😉❤️</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I blushed and shut off my phone. Is this a date? I blushed more when Kaede called me.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey Shuichi! Did you text him~?” I heard her teasing tone through the phone. I sighed and smiled to myself holding my phone to my ear.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” I said, trying to tell her what happened.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Really?! That’s great!! What did he say?! Are you going to meet up?!” She yelled into the phone making me pull it away from my ear.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, Kaede. We are going to meet up for Coffee tomorrow.” I said trying to keep my voice quiet. I have neighbors but they are never home that much during the night...I swear they could be vampires...but that’s beside the point.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s awesome!! I’ll let you get some sleep to be ready for your date then~!” She exclaimed. I tried to respond but she hung up before I could. I closed the phone call and looked back over the messages between me and Kokichi. A date tomorrow…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I looked up at the ceiling. “What does he want with me? Doesn’t he have so much fame and fans? Why would he need to talk to me?” I sighed knowing I wouldn’t be able to get much sleep anyway...I closed my eyes and let my thoughts take over.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>.   .   . </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Another day...great. I looked over at my almost empty calendar. There was another race next week I was going to go to and- The date with Kokichi! I need to get ready!</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I threw on some slightly better clothes than I usually wear because my outfits are very limited with all my black clothes...but I was able to put something together that didn’t look terrible. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I had my old racing jacket with a black shirt underneath. Black pants and black flats with a black hat to top it all off. The hat and everything other than the jacket was plain so it made it stick out more and it was nice to look at!</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I smiled feeling content with my outfit choice. I woke up pretty early...but today getting ready took longer than I thought it would take...so I had about half an hour to get to the cafe. I smiled when I grabbed my keys. Sure I can’t speed down to the cafe, but I’m sure it will be nerve racking when I get there.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Keys in the ignition as the motor started. The one way I am able to feel like I’m behind the wheel again...but I can’t drive that fast which makes me feel a little trapped, but I will be able to get back on the track soon. Which is all I need for motivation. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey Shu-Chan!” Kokichi called out. I jumped a bit while I locked my car after exiting. He walked over to me and pulled me into a hug. I was very confused by this. Why is he-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So, are you ready to go inside?” He asked, cutting my thoughts off. I didn’t trust my voice as I felt myself becoming more flustered by the second. So, I gave him a nod before we walked in together.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I was trying my best to calm down so I would be able to talk to him like a normal person...and without all of my voice cracks. I blushed feeling my face just get hotter as he sat down. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You don’t talk much do you?” He said in a teasing tone. I felt myself blush more. I didn’t know he was so teasing to talk to in real life.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“S-Sorry, I don’t mean to,” I whispered and looked down at my hands.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t mind that, just know you don’t have to be nervous around me! I was thinking we could be friends!” He smiled. I didn’t know how to react. He wants to be friends? Then why does my heart hurt so bad?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Friends?” I asked trying to understand the weird mood he was in. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, you are the only person on the track that gave me a real challenge!” He said with a wink. I gave him a challenge? He knows who I am! I wasn’t just imagining it then!!</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know you are sad about the incident...but that only keeps you from driving right? Maybe we could go driving together sometime! And I could drive you around?” He asked me, getting his coffee. Kirumi walked over to the table seemingly already knowing what we both wanted. I smiled knowing that she remembered my usual. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I-I would love that!” I smiled, feeling some tears coming to my eyes. Kokichi smiled and walked over pulling me to my feet.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It must be killing you to not be able to be on the tracks,” He whispered pulling me into a hug. I smiled and nodded into his shoulder.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>We stayed like that for a while as I calmed down. He pulled back and looked at me.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thanks for meeting me her today Shu~” He said taking his coffee before poking my cheek. I blushed and nodded. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Nishishi! What about we go driving sometime soon ok?” He smiled leaving me alone in the cafe. I blushed and touched my cheek. I get to get back on the tracks with the one I love the most. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thank you so much Kokichi,” I whispered looking over at the table with a smile. He already paid for our coffee so with another smile and a warm heart I left the cafe. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>.  .  .</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After a couple more meetings and a ton of messages me and Kokichi finally set up a time to drive together. I couldn’t wait to be able to go in a racing car again, speeds of over 100mph. I can’t wait!</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Kokichi: Are you ready? Just let the security guard know you are with me!</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Shuichi: Ok! Thank you!</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I walked to Kokichi’s track with my heart beating fast. It was huge! I had my own...but it was nothing compared to his! </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Name?” I didn’t even know I moved towards the entrance until the security guard stopped me. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, I’m Shuichi Saihara. Kokichi told me to tell you I am with him,” I said with an awkward smile. He smiled back and moved out of the way.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Gonta glad Kokichi is making friend!” The guard said before I walked into the stadium. It was amazing! The shining lights because it was later in the day. The fresh smell of tires and gasoline. I missed this.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh hey Shui!” Kokichi yelled, running over to me. I opened my arms so I could pull him into a hug.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thank you again for all of this Kokichi, it means a lot to me!” I said with a small quiver in my voice.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He waved his hands around. “Don’t feel like you have to thank me! You are my favorite after all!” He exclaimed, pulling me over to his car. What does he mean by that?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His car was as beautiful as it was when I was able to see it while I was racing. The beautiful purple car with white wheels. The seats were white while the steering wheel was checkered. This must have been one of his backup cars because there was an accessible passenger seat.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What are you waiting for? Get in!” He said excitedly. I didn’t need another invitation. I got into the passenger's seat being in the moment with Kokichi. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He got in without another word. The car started up bringing back all the memories I made with him. Racing and getting close to beating him just for him to take the lead right at the end.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The night was full of the sounds of the running engine and the sound of our own laughter. I was having more fun than I have ever had in my life! I heard the engine slow to a soft hum as the car stopped. I looked over at Kokichi a little bit confused.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He walked over to my door and pulled me out of the car. The night was dazzling! The sky was beautiful as the lights turned out. The stars as the freckles in the face of the sky, and the moon as the light guiding the way.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kokichi patted the front of the car signaling for me to sit next to him. I blushed and moved over to him. “Kokichi?” He moved his hand to hold my own. What is he trying to do?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Just shut up and kiss me you idiot,” I blushed more but moved in closer to him closing my eyes. He soon closed the gap between us pulling me to him in a kiss. I was so shocked by this and took a couple seconds to be able to be in the moment instead of my own thoughts.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His hands moved around my neck while mine went down to his waist. I didn’t know he felt the same way. But I’m glad he does…or at least I think he does? I think Kokichi felt my lips for a frown and that’s why he pulled away to look at me.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Kokichi?” I asked again trying to get him to answer all of my questions...even though I’m sure that won’t happen. I want to be able to know the real Kokichi Ouma, the one who reached out to me even though I am no longer a racer…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I love you, like a lot...and I always have,” He looked to the side with a blush on his face. He likes me? Wait no...he loves me?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Me too I-“ He cut me off by pulling me in for another kiss. I know he is more of the confident type and I prefer it that way. Because I know I would have never been able to do this without him reaching out to me.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The date faded to a close as we sat next to each other on the hood of his car, staring at the sky never being able to feel more alive.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>-I’m going to do a part two! Or at least update this later!! Thank you so much for reading!!-</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>-ShuichiOuma010-</em>
  </b>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0091"><h2>91. At Your Service {Fluff} [Maid AU]</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The Saihara’s they are the most famous family in Japan and maybe even the whole world. Mrs. Saihara is a famous actor, Mr. Saihara a famous director, and their son Shuichi Saihara the infamous detective that stands beside the most famous detective Kyoko Kirigiri. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So, they are obviously filthy rich...and that’s where me and my mother come in. She isn’t my legitimate mother...but it’s kind of always been like she really had been my mother so I call her my mom anyway. We are both working as maids. She is more accomplished than I because she is so dedicated to her work she almost immediately became the best maid. I’m always here to help her do the smaller tasks so she can have more time to work on the harder things that have been put upon her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you ready Kokichi?” She asked again at the door. She was gesturing for me to meet her over at the door. I brushed off my skirt and walked over with a smile. I held onto the pendant I had from a long time ago...I can’t remember who gave me the pendant, but I know that I want to find them one day...and thank them.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When I was younger I would help Kirumi sometimes by going with her to play with the children of some of her clients. It was nice to hangout with all of them, but one in particular we had gotten super close. He would always request for me to come over and I would always love to go and hangout with him. He was special to me...but I can’t remember anything about him except for the fact he gave me this pendant one of the times we were together. I shook my head and looked up at Kirumi.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Of course Mom!” I exclaimed as she closed the door behind us. There was a super fancy limo in front of our house. It was probably a limo from the Saihara estate. Because today I have been asked by Kirumi to help her over at the Saihara estate because they need another maid for cleaning and renovations. So, I took it upon myself to be the best maid I can be to help Kirumi.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I walked over to the limo and got into the car making sure everything was in place. I adjusted my head piece one more time before sitting down and putting my hands in my lap. Kirumi was doing the same but she looked so calm and collected...I’m absolutely terrified that I’m going to mess up again and have the Saihara household angry at me just as some of the other places I have been put to work at…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kirumi put a hand on my shoulder dragging my mind back to the present moment. The limo was moving quickly and the city around us was quickly going by. I shook my head again and looked over at Kirumi. “It’s going to be alright Kokichi, they wanted someone with your kind of work,” She said with a small smile.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>What does she mean by my work? I frowned and turned my head to the window as Kirumi took her hand away. The backseat was once again silent as the ride continued. There was some quiet piano music playing. How did I not notice it before? Were my thoughts really that loud. Before my mind could go on yet another tangent the limo stopped and someone opened the door.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I stood up feeling my legs start to shake slightly. Now is not the time to embarrass myself...No tripping Kokichi! I mentally scolded myself as I slowly moved out of the car to be greeted with the front greeter of the estate.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“My name is Shima and I am the door person or the greeter- well my official title is the front greeter but I’m more like a door person-” She was cut off by another male standing behind her. He was taller than me and the other girl. He just looked intimidating...that’s probably why she is the greeter…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I am the head of security. Sorry for her rambling I will show you to the main room so you can talk to Mr. Saihara.” My heart stopped for a moment. I’m going to meet the Saihara’s?! I put a smile on my face as the head of security led us to a big room with a big desk by the wall across from the door. There was one man sitting behind the desk with a woman standing behind him. They must be Mr. and Mrs. Saihara. And then there was-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The most beautiful person I have ever seen. He has the features of a Saihara, the dark blue hair, piercing golden eyes, the slim body, and the pale face. He must be Shuichi Saihara...I didn’t know he would be this attractive! I mean maybe accepting this offer was a mistake! I can’t like the son of my employer!! It’s not right! I tried my best to keep my composure while suppressing a blush. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You must be the infamous Kirumi Tojo, and this must be your associate Kokichi!” He said with a smile. I expected them to all be cold and stone faced but Mr. Saihara was actually pretty welcoming and kind...I mean at least from his smile and his tone.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes that is correct Sir.” She said with a bow. I soon followed and did the same. I tried my best to not make a fool of myself...because for one, I am in the presence of the Saihara’s and two, I’m in the presence of an angel. Scratch that, he is more perfect than an angel…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So Kokichi is it? You accepted my offer at becoming my cleaning house maid?” He asked as we both stood up straight again. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes Sir.” I said trying to give him a convincing smile that hid my fear. I looked over at Shuichi again for a moment and noticed something...he has a flower shaped pendant around his neck. Wait a minute does this mean- It could be possible seeing that Kirumi has worked for the Saihara’s multiple times in the past when I was younger…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m glad you did! I want you to be Shuichi’s personal maid as well as doing the housework! This is mainly because he doesn't have a lot of friends...so I want him to have someone around him that is his age.” He said again, making Shuichi blush. Why is everything about him adorable?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Of course,” I said again before he nodded to the head of security. He led Kirumi out of the room while I was standing there in front of the table. I was still super confused about why he picked me instead of any of the other more capable and less clumsy maids his son’s age.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Shuich,i would you show Kokichi around the estate and show him where all the supplies are?” His father asked him. Shuichi got up out of his chair and gave him a nod before he walked over to the door. I didn’t waste any time making it over to the door so he could show me around. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey, don’t get any ideas Kichi,” He said all of a sudden. He called me Kichi...I thought for a moment before it all came back.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Shumai!” I exclaimed, pulling him into a hug. He flinched at first before he relaxed and hugged me back. I know that my Shumai has always loved hugs...but sadly most people think he doesn’t because of the emo way he dresses. It’s stupid in my opinion!</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah it’s me,” He said, pulling away to look me in the eyes. I smiled and patted his shoulder because now he is too tall for me to give him head pats sadly…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I requested for you because…” He pulled out his pendant and I soon did the same. And just as they did before when we were younger...they fit perfectly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We fit perfectly together,” He smiled before grabbing my hand and showing me around the castle. It was just as old times, except this time we weren’t running around screaming as we played tag together. But I like this change, maybe, just maybe this job won’t be so bad.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>-Here is one of the requests I received! I Can’t remember who gave it to me...but here it is anyway!! Know that requests are always open! Thank you all so much for reading!!-</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>-ShuichiOuma010-</em>
  </b>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0092"><h2>92. At Your Service {Fluff} [Part 2]</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“Kokichi!” One of the other staff yelled after me. But I didn’t bother looking back at them because I was chasing my beloved Sai-Chan! And he is obviously more important. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I have been working for the Saihara’s, more specifically Shuichi Saihara, for about 3 months now and I wouldn’t give it up for the world. He lets me sleep in the room next to his own, although he is very lenient with that rule. I get afraid during storms and such so I don’t usually like people seeing me when these things happen. So, Shuichi being the amazing person he is, let’s me come into his room while we just talk and he lets me hug him and get into his lap while he holds me. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>.   .   .</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Shu-Chan...a-Ah, c-can we go I-inside?” I asked, shaking as the thunder started coming as we were playing in the flower field. They had flowers of every color and they were all equally beautiful, but if I’m being completely honest I love the purple one’s better than the others.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Yeah...what’s wrong?” I grabbed his hand and brought him to our hiding place behind the stairs. He blushed a bit but didn’t complain or say anything as I dragged him.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I-I” I stuttered silently cursing at myself hating myself for stuttering. I was about to say something before a crack of lightning cut me off. I screamed into my hand with wide eyes what were quickly filling with tears.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Why now? If this happened when I was back at the house with Kirumi...then I could just go to my room to get over this fear...I was so consumed in my own thoughts I completely forgot Shuichi was standing beside me.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“You are afraid aren’t you?” He asked, pulling me into a hug. His arms wrapped around my back while I clung to him like the world was ending. Because to me the fear made it seem that way.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I just nodded my head for an answer. He smiled and gently led me up the stairs to his room while keeping his arms around me. I felt scared out of my mind and Shuichi was the only thing that was keeping me stable so I didn't just break down.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I’m going to grab a blanket, you stay here,” He whispered, gently sliding some headphones over my ears. I was sitting against his bed frame on his bed. His sheets were comfortable just like his mattress.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I sighed and listened to the piano music that was quietly coming through the headphones. It was calming and if I closed my eyes I didn’t even notice the lightning striking. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Shuichi eventually came back over to the bed and sat next to me bringing my head to rest on his shoulder as the music was playing through the noise cancelling headphones. We just sat there while I listened to the music while Shuichi rubbed my back. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>.   .   .</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Kokichi it’s ok! You don’t have to keep cleaning. I know you are scared...come with me,” He whispered, grabbing my hand propping the broom against the wall before he grabbed my hand and brought me into his room like he did when we were younger.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I blushed at the action before holding onto his hand. We walked into his room and same as before he brought me to his bed and slid some headphones into my ears. The blanket soon followed as he bundled me up beside him. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I didn’t want this to happen again...I’m supposed to be cleaning right now...but my stupid fear gets in the way of my job and makes Shuichi have to go out of his way to help me.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Hey, the storm stopped now...do you want to go back to work? You are still shaking,” he pointed out making me flinch a bit. He is right about that, I am shaking quite a bit...I guess I’m still really scared even though for one, the storm is gone, and two, I had someone with me to get over it…</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“It’s ok, why don’t we just stay here for a while, I can read to you while you calm down,” He whispered, pulling my head back on his shoulder. This isn’t so bad...I thought to myself before he pulled out a book on his bedside table to read. It wasn’t the most interesting book but hearing his voice was enough for me.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I feel calmer now, I can go work again! I should apologize to Shuichi though for making him waste his time with his own maid…</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>.   .   .</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He always did it when I was younger as well. Remembering all the good memories from when we were younger made me smile. I finally caught up with him when he ran into the dining hall. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I caught you my beloved!” I yelled while he was still gasping and panting from running for that long. I laughed a bit causing him to glare at me.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Y-yeah you did...I should have expected that though...because you are way faster than me.” He said bitterly, making me smile as I sat down next to him at the head of the table while he caught his breath.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He is still as beautiful as I remember, but somehow he is even more beautiful to me now. His beautiful eyes and his dazzling smile. They all make me just seem to fall for him even more. But I don’t want to make anyone hate him for dating me first off, and dating a male second off. So, being friends with him is enough for me. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well! I have to go and clean some more of the dust off of the shelves and such~, so I will see you later Shu!” I exclaimed standing up slowly before he grabbed my hand.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Shuichi?” I paused turning around to face him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Is there something you need?” I asked, putting my hand on his shoulder as his head was down while he looked at his feet.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah...sorry, but I was wondering if maybe you would accompany me to the field of flowers we would always go to when we were younger, you know the tree in the back? When you finish, meet me there,” He said quietly, still not making eye contact with me. I didn’t respond for a moment processing what he just said.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>.   .   .</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Sai-Chan! Sai-Chan!!” I yelled running outside where Shuichi went. I couldn’t find him for a moment before I saw that one of his shoes fell off. I smiled and picked up his shoe before seeing him sitting under the tree we would always sit under. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>We went outside quite a lot when we were younger, and these were the memories and times I always cherished and wanted to relive over and over again with Shuichi. Because they all mean so much to me.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Sai-Chan?” I asked walking over to the tree feeling my curiosity getting the better of me. He is in a weird mood and has definitely been acting weird...I wonder what must be on his mind this time?</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Ah! Kokichi…” He whispered, walking over to meet him halfway. He had one of his shoes on because I had the other. So, I knelt down and put his shoe on making him blush. He is always blushing at almost everything I do~ and it’s adorable!</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He slowly moved back to the tree and grabbed something. I watched him curiously while he was walking back to me. He looked at me with a blush on his face...and I was certain it wasn’t just because of earlier. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I was about to ask him what he wanted and why he was acting the way he was before he raised his head and handed me a box. I tilted my head for a moment. “Wha-“ </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Just open it!” He yelled, making me jump a bit. Shuichi doesn’t yell very often...but when he does it’s either because he is nervous or because he is past his limits and is super angry. I’m assuming that he must be nervous about whatever’s in the box. So heeding to his request I opened the box.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>The box had a beautiful pendant in it that was purple. I blushed a bit because he or anyone else besides Kirumi doesn’t get me gifts...so it was nice to get one from someone so important to me.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I got you that because,” He paused and put the pendant I had together with his own before adding.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“We fit perfectly together,” </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>.   .   .</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I blushed at the thought before raising Shuichi’s head put gently grabbing his chin. His face was red while there were some tears in the corners of his eyes. His lip was shaking and he seemed like he was going to cry...what could be going on this time?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Shumai, what’s wrong?” I asked gently cupping his cheek. He just let some of the tears fall from his eyes. He cried for a moment before I pulled him into a hug. I held his face into my chest while I brushed my fingers through his hair. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>We stayed like this for a while. I didn’t even dare to move until he calmed down. With a few remaining sniffles he moved away from me and looked me in the eyes. “Just meet me there ok?” He said again before walking out of the room. I was even more confused, but I put something together.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>What if he wants the same thing I do and his parents don’t like the idea...I mean they are pretty popular and famous here, so if Shuichi came out when we would get together I’m certain they would get some bad backlash...or maybe he is just worried about something and wants to talk about it?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I shook my head and went to grab the broom to finish sweeping. Thinking about that can come later, as of now I need to finish the rest of my job. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After finishing the rest of my sweeping I moved to the storage closet to grab the duster before putting the broom away. This is always the thing I ended with because it is the easiest job in my option. It’s best to start with the hardest and end with the easier jobs so you can stay motivated because you have already done the harder parts.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I smiled to myself while cleaning the dust off of the shelves and books they had throughout their mansion. Shuichi wants to go back to the tree where he gave me this,</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I held out the pendant that I put on a chain on my neck. I usually hid it under my shirt to not make anyone suspicious about Shuichi having a similar one, but everyone here already knows about them anyway so I don’t really hide it from anyone anymore. I’m glad I didn’t have to because it is beautiful and I never wanted to hide it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>.   .   .</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The time came when I had finished. It was a little later in the day but not to the point where it was super dark. I walked back to the closet to put my supplies away before heading out to the fields. Their backyard was ginormous and it was absolutely beautiful. The flowers that were all around in groups while some of them mixed together to make a beautiful picture of the colors. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I took in a breath of fresh air before I moved through the field over to where the tree was and just as I suspected Shuichi was there sitting under the tree with a book in his hands. I smiled and slowly made my way over to the tree before I sat down next to him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey, what did you want me to come here for?” I asked, getting straight to the point. He closed his book looking away from me. This must be something that has been bothering him for a while…I’m worried about him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I just…” He cut himself off before I heard some people moving around in the flowers. I couldn’t see any of them but I knew they were there. What is going on with everyone today? Kirumi just smiled at me anytime she saw me...not that this isn’t something she ever does, it was just weird for her to be smiling so much. She usually has a serious expression on her face.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I-“ He cut himself off again making me even more worried. He slowly moved so he was kneeling in front of me. Is he going to-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Kokichi,” I felt my heart stop. If this is what I think it is...then why did he get so emotional before? Wouldn’t he be happy?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Will you be mine forever and always and marry me?” I blushed and immediately held his cheeks in my hands. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Of course my beloved! But don’t you think you are moving too fast? You haven’t even taken me out on a date yet~,” I teased making him blush more. But before he could respond his father, mother, and Kirumi as well as some of the other staff came out of where they were hiding and started clapping and cheering. I was confused at how quickly all of this was happening...not that I mind being Shuichi’s fiancé but it’s just so random to me.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sorry Kokichi for being all confusing about all of this-“ Shuichi started before his father put his hand on his shoulder.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Kokichi Ouma, I have seen how you have always been there for my son and because of how much he cares about you as well I suggested marriage.” He said with a smile. His wife just stood behind him as she did before.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And Shuichi agreed. This is mostly because there are tons of other people in my community circle who want their daughters to marry my son...but Shuichi came out to me as gay before you even came here to work as a maid.” Shuichi then spoke again after his father finished.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He asked me who I would want to choose to marry if I could choose anyone...and even though we hadn’t seen each other in forever I wanted that to be you.” He blushed more before grabbing both of my hands in his own.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We don’t have to get married right away...I just wanted to do this and give you this,” He paused pulling out a ring.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We can date and do all of those things before you have to accept this...but know that I’m willing to wait if you want to marry me,” He said, placing the ring on my finger. My head was spinning...he chose me out of everyone he had known? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I already said yes Shu! And I would love to do all of those things together but I don’t mind any of it as long as you are together with me,” I said pulling him into a hug. I forgot everyone was around us as he pulled back to look me in the eyes. He quickly cupped my cheeks before he moved closer and connected our lips.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sparks went through my entire body as his lips collided with mine. I’m sure he felt the same way because he moved his hands into my hair as I wrapped my arms around his neck. The kiss wasn’t long but it was just enough for me to blush. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m glad,” He whispered in my ear before hugging me again. The people around us clapped and cheered again before they left us alone under the tree. The tree that started it all.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I love you,” He said as he moved me into his lap. His arms were around my waist as I rested against his chest. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I love you too you dummy~,” I giggled, kissing his cheek before looking him in the eyes again. I looked down at the ring for a brief moment before I kissed him again. He jumped a bit before he kissed me back. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I’m glad that even if I was just brought here for my beloved, that I am able to be with him now. Just as I always wanted to years ago.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>-This is probably one of my favorite oneshots in this book! I hope all of you enjoy this part!! And I have another request that is going to be posted on Saturday!! Thank you all so much for reading!!-</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>-ShuichiOuma010-</em>
  </b>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0093"><h2>93. Will you Be(lie)ve Me? {Angst}</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“Dammit! why did it turn out like this!?” Kaito yelled, infuriated and confused. I didn’t blame any of them, what I have done to Gonta is unforgivable...</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“. . .” Shuichi just stood where he was crying like most of the others. I wanted to cry and yell because of how I have been treating everyone...how I have been treating myself. I hate all of this. The fucking lies I tell making everyone believe I’m someone I’m not. Making myself believe I am someone I’m not…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey, Kokichi...why don’t you tell us now? What is the secret of the outside world?” Maki asked, making me flinch a bit at her words. Do they want to know? Probably just because they don’t know...I can’t tell them or they will all surely die...I know I felt like dying when I figured it out. We only have each other and everyone is trying to get out...even though the outside has nothing. No people, no promises of a better life...and no safety.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“If we don’t know it, then we won’t be able to understand or accept it.” Maki added. Accept it? Accept that the world has gone to shit and we are all killing each other off just to be disappointed that everything they made us believe was out there for wasn’t even there at all. This is all bullshit! But I have to keep this up...I can’t let them know the truth...even if I feel like screaming...even if I feel like crying I have to wear this mask…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I...can’t accept it either, Kokichi! What is the secret of the outside world!?” Tsumugi yelled with tears in her eyes. Why can’t they just give up?! They don’t want to know what the secret of the outside world is! I wish I could forget it...it makes me feel so hopeless...and that’s why Gonta and Miu are no longer with us anymore...because of me.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What secret would push Gonta that far!?” She yelled again, making me feel even worse. They don’t understand!! I fucking hate people who don’t understand! Why don’t they see that if Gonta didn’t want to tell them about it...that it isn't something anyone should want to know.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I stayed silent and let my haid cover my eyes for a moment. I have to say something soon...I know what I have to do. To stop myself from crying and screaming I have to lie about what I’m feeling...I have to lie about Gonta...I have to lie about everything.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Kokichi, if you really cared for Gonta, explain yourself to everyone and-” I cut him off. I can’t take this anymore!</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t...want to…” I whispered not looking up at anyone. My face was still dark...I know what I have to do.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You what?” Shuichi asked, throwing me over the edge. I have to lie!!</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t want to stupid head!” I yelled rasing my head making a manic face. I am Kokichi Ouma the Ultimate Supreme leader of evil! I don’t have time for foolish feelings or friends! Who needs them!!</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Kokichi!?” Shuichi gasped but I drowned them all out. I don’t need to deal with this anymore! I need all of them to hate me! Because that’s who I am! Hated by all and evil villain!!</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ah-hahaha! Oh man, did you fall for all the fake crying!?” I yelled again feeling all of my emotions go deep down into the place where I push everything down. All of my forgotten feelings...that no longer matter! Because they never mattered to anyone, so why should I care!?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re so dumb!! I would never cry for Gonta!!” Lie after lie. They spilled from my mouth like bitter tar. Dark and heavy as it left my mouth. A monster that I was spinning together with all the lies I tell.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“F-Fake...crying?” Tsumugi gasped as my smirk widened.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“If I said the actual truth back there, Gonta would’ve been reaaaal mad!” I shouted with a smile across my lips. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“They would’ve interfered with the game, so I simply lied to calm him down.” I said simply as if they should have all come to that conclusion on their own.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“...See? As long as you lie for a good purpose, right?” I smirked making my eyes go dark with malice. The fake malice that was fueling my actions.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What!?” Kaito said in shock. I’m not surprised by the way he reacted, because this is definitely farther than I would usually go.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What do you mean, what really happened? Why did you make him do that!?” Shuichi yelled, making me want to cry even more. I didn’t make him do anything...I showed him the truth and the truth did that to him…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Obviously, so it wouldn’t be boring!” I yelled putting my hand to my forehead. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What are you…?” Shuichi trailed off trying to get more of an explanation from me. Well, sorry darling~ You won’t get the explanation you wish~.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I gave Gonta an incentive, cuz I thought it’d liven up the game.” I lied, keeping my expression teasing and happy and full of malice.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“C,mon think about it, if I actually wanted to save everyone, like what Gonta did…” I paused.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I wouldn’t have betrayed Gonta. You should have realized that.” I said with an evil look.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Th-Then..why did Gonta…” Shuichi said.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I laughed with my usual laugh with a creepy smile on my face. God I want this to be over…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Who cares about that idiot! I wanna enjoy this game filled with suspicion from the bottom of my heart! I am the supreme leader of evil. So, it’s obvious my personality would be twisted. The more you suffer, the more I enjoy it. There are people in this world who spread grief and misery for no reason than the thrill of it! And I’m one of those people. Nothing pleases me more than inflicting pain on others!” I yelled feeling the person I am on the inside screaming and begging for this to stop. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“S-Seriously...who the hell do you think you are?” Kaito said with a fearful look on his face.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So, for your own entertainment, you sacrificed Gonta?” Maki asked, looking slightly concerned.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What’s so bad about that? You kill people for money...right, Maki Roll?” I asked knowing she hates to be called by that name.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Someone like you has no right to call me Maki Roll…do you want to die?” She said, giving me a scowl with a glare.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Nee-heehee...you look so much better with a scowl on your face, Maki Roll. But hey, you guys are just waaay too trusting. If only you had suspected me more, then…” I said again trying to tease her as much as possible. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ah-hahahaha! Miu and Gonta wouldn’t have died such meaningless deaths!” I exclaimed with another laugh.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“M-meaningless deaths!?” Kaito screamed and sprinted up to me like a bullet before...I pushed him, making him fall to the ground.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oops, sorry! I tried to dodge you...but I ended up punching you instead.” I laughed looking back at him on the ground.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Kaito!” Shuichi yelled.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Y-you” Kaito stuttered on the ground.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“By the way, Kaito, is it just me…? Or are you way slower?” I asked with a smirk.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kaito groaned before I added. “Maybe, just maybe...Kaito is hiding something from us too.” I said with a bigger smile plastered on my face.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Kaito are you ok!?” Maki yelled looking worried. Maki glared at me with a piercing glare. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“For someone who claims to be bad at fighting, you were pretty agile just now.” Maki said with a dark look. I smirked.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ah-hahaha! And you believed a lie like that!?” I yelled, feeling my sanity leaving my body. Maki went silent before she got even more agitated.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You...really want to die, don’t you?” She asked. I thought about it and really I wanted to die...I didn’t want to have to be this person I have made myself into…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, did I finally provoke you enough? Is it cuz of Kaito?” I said knowing the answer already.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Maki No!” Shuichi gasped. I’m assuming because he didn’t want Maki to be the culprit of my murder.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What am I thinking? Maki wouldn’t lose her cool for a guy like Kaito. He is waaaay too pathetic. He’s all bark and no bite.” I said putting my finger to my lips.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Let’s face it. The ultimate astronaut is just a trainee anywa-” None of them were listening to me anymore...it's because they all care for Kaito. And I’m just a lying asshole...my whole world went silent for a moment as the reality crashed on me. No one would ever want to be around me with all of my lies...all of me...I’m so terrible.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey...why are you all so worried about this pathetic gu-” Shuichi cut me off with his own remark.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Pathetic? Look at yourself, Kokichi.” I was feeling all of my senses starting to go out. Like falling off the stairs because you missed that one step. Shuichi was the only one who kept putting up with me no matter what I did...now I’m sure I went too far…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What…” I heard myself mumble out.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Kaito always has us by his side, see? But no one wants to be around you. You’re alone Kokichi. And you always will be.” He said sternly. I felt my heart break in my chest...what is this…? I felt tears come to my eyes as I stood there. I am always going to be alone...no matter what because the truth is...I’m a terrible person who just ends up hurting people because of my issues with trust...and because I crave attention making me even more annoying.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re right…” I whispered feeling my mask finally fall to the ground. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What?” Shuichi asked, confused. He probably doesn’t believe this is genuine and I can’t blame him. I’m just a lying asshole after all…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You are right...I’m always going to be alone. It’s the truth.” I said before my legs started moving underneath me. I felt Shuichi grab my arm, making me stop.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Kokichi, what are you saying?” He asked with the same tone he used before. I flinched and pulled out of his grasp.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You are right about me Shuichi! It’s always been that way!!” I screamed holding my hands over my ears as I started to sob. Shuichi placed a hand on my shoulder before I let my legs fall as I fell onto his chest. I felt him flinch. He doesn’t believe this is real...maybe it would be easier to just lie and leave. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Right when I was going to move away from him Shuichi held my back and pulled me closer to him. He slowly walked out of the trial room with me with one last glance over at the group of people around Kaito. What is this? After a moment he pulled away and looked me in the eyes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was already dark outside and the wind was slowly blowing across the grass making me shiver because of it hitting my tear stained cheeks. He looked down at me and I slowly looked up at him feeling my breathing uneven and ragged from crying. I haven’t cried in a long time...so I have a lot to let out...and I hate that Shuichi has to feel like he needs to help me. I’m supposed to be alone forever. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Is this true...are you being honest?” He asked with a kind look in his eyes. I felt like telling him the truth before I started crying again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Everything is a lie...I don’t even know who I am anymore!” I screamed into his chest. He gently ran his hand through my hair.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So you have been lying to yourself this whole time…” He whispered. I didn’t even bother responding because he already knows it’s true.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry about what I said...I had no idea…” He whispered as I cried into his shirt...maybe telling the truth isn’t so bad after all. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s alright...I’m sorry for lying.” I said honestly feeling more tears come from my eyes. He moved his hands to wipe my tears away making me feel better. A feeling I haven’t felt in a long time...care. Care from another person.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s ok...thanks for being honest with me.” I smiled a bit and hugged him again holding his back and letting my head rest against his chest. I could hear his heartbeat and it calmed me down. I want to stay like this forever...but tomorrow everyone is going to think I’m lying again. Maybe, just maybe...for once I’m just going to stay in the moment. Not worrying about tomorrow. Just being here with Shuichi.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>-I feel exhausted, but I will be doing some editing on this oneshots book regarding the images...sorry if any of you weren’t credited for your amazing work, it’s harder than it looks to find the real artist of the drawings sometimes...so I’m sorry for the inconvenience. Thank you all for reading though!!-</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>-ShuichiOuma010-</em>
  </b>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0094"><h2>94. Demon X Angel AU {Fluff/Angst}</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“Kokichi! You are late!” One of the head angels shouted. The head angels always gave him a hard time..but this time he actually needed to hear the angel out. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ah, Shit…” He cursed to himself before rushing to the main hall. The main hall was where the trials would take place. Any new people who came to heaven or any angel that needed to be sent back to being a mortal...or even worse being sent to hell.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The main hall was a large room with chairs set in a circle around the two main tables where the judge and the lawyer would stand while the accused or new subject would sit in the middle. Where they would sit there was a single chair in the room and it stood out like a sore thumb. It was a bright red padded chair while the carpet and walls were shades of light grays and white. It was supposed to signify that they were impure and needed to be taught the correct way to live or even punished to do so...</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kokichi shuddered as he stared at the door of the main hall. It was a tall and daunting pale red door. The walls around him were all bright white with the pale gray floor beneath him. Small railing lined the walls, it seemed to be there for decoration, but Kokichi never knew the reason it was really there.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His heart skipped a beat as he opened the door. With slow steps he walked over to his reserved seat. His seat was reserved because the trial was for one of the angels closest to him, Shuichi Saihara. Kokichi has been stressing about the trial for the past week, because after he heard the reason for the imprisonment of his beloved...he needed to know it wasn’t true, He wanted to do everything in his power to redeem him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But sadly no reasoning or anything could change what happened. “Kokichi Ouma you are called to the stand,” Angie called out to him making his eyes immediately look away from Shuichi sitting in the chair with bruises and cuts all over his face and arms. All the people in the chairs in the crowd were all glaring at the two of them as Kokichi took the stand.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Kokichi, there are charges for murder on Shuichi, is ther anything you can tell us about the night of the murder?” She asked before getting a nod from the high priest. He flinched at the words she spoke and took in a breath so he would be able to collect his thoughts.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes, Shuichi was staying at my house for dinner when the murder occured.” He said biting his tongue after the lie left his mouth. He knew that the only reason Shuichi was in prison for a week is because Kokichi didn’t come clean...and Shuichi took the blame for what happened. Even though, Kokichi was the one involved in the murder of Muna Nasia…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And what were you doing?” She asked. Kokichi already had a lie in his head...but all he wanted to do was take the blame off of Shuichi, because then he could be free while he was taking his time behind bars...he let his hands mess with the small bracelet he had on his hand. It was a long braided string that wrapped around his wrist four times before it was able to lock onto his hand.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I was getting the food before coming back to help him cook it for us and the few other people there.” He said looking her in the eyes. She smiled at him, taunting him with her teasing smile and curious eyes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I see...so what happened at the scene of the murder? Why were both of you found there if it is farther away from your house? And in the mortal world no less…” She said with a frown. Kokichi bit his lip before responding after clutching the sides of the table what he had to stand behind.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We were both there because we sensed that Miss Nasia needed help, so we were bringing her some food...but then when we got there she was already gone..” He whispered, keeping his head down. Shuichi looked over at him with pleading eyes. He wanted him to tell the truth while at the same time he didn’t want Kokichi to take the fall for murdering a mortal...they both know what that meant. Becoming a resident in hell, or in other words, a demon from hell. This would make it nearly impossible for them to see each other again...and neither of them wanted that…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I see…” She sighed before they walked through the whole case again after talking to a few more witnesses. They still believed it was Shuichi who committed the crime and Kokichi was about to lose it. Shuichi looked over at him and mouthed ‘sorry, I love you’ before one of the head angels put a hand on his shoulder making him face the head judge.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He is guilty!” She yelled before the whole courtroom burst with negative words and remarks. Kokichi and Shuichi were both holding back tears knowing the ritual that was going to happen. The screams all came back to them when they had to witness one of their old friends get converted from angel to demon...and it was excruciating to watch as he screamed out in pain. Both of them never wanted to have to witness that again..but this is the reality they live in.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Prepare the ritual!” She said with a smirk on her face making Kokichi’s frown change into a scowl. She had the head angel take the chair away before she laid Shuichi down on the floor while still keeping him in his confines. Kokichi wanted him to escape, but Shuichi wanted him to not watch him struggle or suffer...so he bit his lip and prepared for the ritual. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kokichi wanted to cry out as the blue and red fire traced the star and other symbols drawn onto the floor. Shuichi bit his lip and caused it to start bleeding before letting out a blood curdling scream.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“KOKICHI!!” He screamed before the fire ceased after the three minutes of pure agony. Kokichi looked down at the boy he loves more than anything, only to see charred skin and black wings coming out of his back with a devil's tail coming out from his lower back. Horns were sticking out of his head in the front and his eyes were pitch black other than the golden yellow pupil in the center of the pools of tar. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Shu…” He whispered to himself before running over to him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“WAIT You can’t interfere!” Angie yelled but Kokichi wasn’t listening to her anymore. He felt Shuichi move and before he could process anything he was pinned to the ground with Shuichi holding his wrists to the ground with his knees on both sides of his legs. Kokichi blushed at the action before Shuichi went down to his shoulder and bit him hard enough to draw blood.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kokichi flinched and tried his best to get out of his grip..but he was too weak to get the new demon with angel blood pulsing through his veins off of himself.  Shuichi’s eyes changed back for a moment as his head moved up to capture Kokichi’s lips. Shuichi moved his hand to rest beside his head while he let his body fall closer to the boy underneath him. Kokichi kissed back even though he knew that all of the counsel is going to hate him for going against the protical and doing something homosexual. That didn’t matter to him as he let his hands trail up his neck before Shuichi jumped up and flew out of the window. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The glass shattered as the window broke. Kokichi could only sit there dumbfounded as he couldn’t even begin to process what just happened. His hand went to trace over his still warm and blood coated lips. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Shuichi…” He whispered reaching out his hand although no one would be there to grab it. The one he wanted to hold wouldn’t even be able to see the gesture, because now everything was going to change. It wouldn’t just be a game like it was before. Sneaking sleep overs and kisses whenever they could because they loved each other...but because they are in heaven they have to hide this fact...because sadly, it is looked down upon.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kokichi still had hope for the both of them regardless of everything that happened. He wanted to just get away from all of the screaming and yelling going on in the room at the moment. The priest and Angie are freaking out because he escaped and didn’t go out the door to hell they had already opened for him to use. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He sighed and stood up leaving the room without another word. He didn’t want to have to deal with any of them...they were always so exhausting and Shuichi was the only one who made it bearable...he slid his hands through his hair as he slid down the wall. He let his emotions take over for once and he let himself cry.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Shuichi...why can’t you be here with me…” He cried into his knees. “I miss you more than anything…” He whispered letting the words linger on his tongue. He wished that Shuichi could hear him...but he had no clue where he could be at the moment...because if he didn’t go through the door then he would be in the mortal world just wondering around-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s it!” He exclaimed quickly wiping the tears out of his eyes. “I can go to the mortal world and search for him!” He said with a smile on his lips.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I will find you Shuichi Saihara...no matter how long it takes.” He declared to himself as he sneaked out of heaven and went to the mortal world to find his beloved.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>-Sorry this is kind of half assed...today was a really confusing and stressful and overall shitty day, but writing this made it better! Thank you all so much for reading!- </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>-ShuichiOuma010- </em>
  </b>
</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0095"><h2>95. Demon X Angel AU {Fluff/Angst} [Part 2]</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“Are you crazy?!” Rantaro yelled at Kokichi who had already packed some things together. He was getting ready to go to the mortal world...and as of now he wasn’t planning on coming back.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes, we have already gone over this Rantaro...you can’t tell anyone about this, not about where I’m going, or anything to do with this whatsoever.” He said, giving him an empty stare. He hasn’t been able to get his mind off of the incident. It kept replaying over in his head again and again making it hard for him to focus.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay...that doesn’t mean I’m ok with this...and it doesn’t mean I won’t miss you...but I understand.” He said moving over to the smaller male. He dealt his arms around him pulling him into a hug. Kokichi didn’t react at first before Rantaro whispered.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Please be careful...you never know what he could do…” Rantaro whispered quietly into his ear. Kokichi nodded before Rantaro moved away. He didn’t say another word to him before he left through the window. He let the darkness of the night cover him from being seen. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was a little cold flying through the night sky. The travel time to get there would be a while. The mortal world isn’t close to heaven, just as hell isn’t close to the mortal world either. He flew throughout the night with only one thing on his mind...Shuichi.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>...</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Shuichi and him were in the mortal world for a date one day. This was because they didn’t want the others to find out about their feelings for one another because it was forbidden. Forbidden for a male to fall in love with another male, just the same as a female falling for another female. The two of them would try to do things like this once a week. Rantaro was the only angel who knew about this--and he would always cover for the both of them while they were away. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>The day the murder of Muna Nasia they were both on a date. They were planning to make a meal at a house they own out in the countryside. The house was theirs because they have had to stay days and nights in the mortal world to be able to help others. So, the main priest let the two of them buy the cabin and use it as their own.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Muna Nasia was staying in her house at the time that was a little ways away from where they were staying at their own cabin. When the two males had started making the food for their own dinner date they heard a scream from her cabin down the way. Shuichi was the first to notice and he went to get Kokichi for help. Kokichi already knew what was happening...and he didn’t want to have to be there and interfere with what was happening. But Shuichi looked so scared and worried he gave in and went to help.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>They got to the house moments later because they had used their wings to get there. The house was already in shambles. The table was overturned while the plates and flower pot that were on the table were now scattered on the floor in pieces. The window was broken and there was a dead Muna Naisa on the floor. Reiko stood there over the body with blood dripping from her lips before she left the building leaving the two alone with the body when the authorities came. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>They came into the house and assessed the situation before they questioned them.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“What happened?” Maki asked holding her clipboard while she questioned Shuichi. Shuichi nervously looked over at Kokichi. He could tell that Kokichi was nervous about this...even if he wasn’t showing it. He knew this because Kokichi used to be a part of a prank group called DICE...before they disbanded because of the actions of some of the members, this included Reiko. She was the first one to go rouge and start breaking the rules of the group--you can’t kill another person. She has murdered many after DICE dispanded...and because Kokichi knew her before and knew of the events that were taking place in the cabin, this made him a prime suspect. In heavan being a prime suspect or even involved in a murder in anyway...it meant you would be converted to a demon. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Shuichi paused for a moment before responding. “We came here after sensing Miss Naisa needed help and I knew the person who was here....” He whispered, making Kokichi look at him with an underlying look of suspicion. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Ok, I’ll need to let Angie know about this, do you know who it was?” She asked.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I can’t reveal that information…” He said knowing the penalty for not revealing information related to a murder. She looked at him with furrowed eye brows.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“And why’s that?” She said pressing for more information. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Because it’s not information I can reveal,” He said again before going silent. She scoffed before moving to Kokichi.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“What do you have to say about this?” SHe asked before adding. “Do you know who murdered Muda Naisa?” </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“No, I can’t say I do...they left before I was able to get a look at the body.” He said to her making her sigh. She turned away from them irritated with the little information she was able to collect. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Shu--,” Kokichi started before Shuichi cut him off.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Trust me,” Was all he said before some of the other angels came over.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>
      <br/>
    </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>“Shuichi Saihara, we are going to have to take you in because of the allegations against you and because of your connection with this case,” They said, pulling him away after tying his hands behind his back. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Wait! Shuichi!” He yelled after him only to hear the same words from before.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Trust me, trust me,” He said before they disappeared with him. Kokichi just stood there alone and confused. ‘Why would he do that for me?’ He asked himself over and over again..but he wasn’t able to come up with an answer.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>...</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m here,” Kokichi said with a sigh seeing the familiar plains. The familiar smell of the grass, the familiar scene of the cabin on the hill. It all made him remember the calm feelings the grass would bring when him and Shuichi would lay on the grass while they talked. Sometimes they did this during the day but other times they would do it while they gazed at the stars. He smiled for a moment before going to the cabin they used to stay at sometimes, just so they could be alone together without others getting suspicious...without having to explain their feelings to the head priest or even Angie.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The cabin was the same as he remembered, cold and dusty. It was still homey even if he hasn’t visited it in a long time. “I missed this place,” He heard someone say from behind him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Who are you?” He asked before a small crow came through the open window. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I was sent here by Shuichi Saihara to send you a message.” Kokichi tilted his head at the crown. The crow laughed a bit before he shifted into a human. Feathers turning into a dark cloak in seconds.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I see,” He said with a small smile knowing his beloved was out there somewhere and he sent him a message.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He told me to tell this to Kokichi Ouma, and I know for a fact that you are indeed Kokichi Ouma.” He stated. Kokichi wanted to ask him how he knew his name, but he started talking again before he could even mutter a word.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He said, Kokichi my darling, I can’t be with you right now...but know that i’m safe and I’m going to come back to you when I can. I can’t be with you at the moment because it’s to dangerous to be around you before I get my new demon instincts under control. I love you more than anything...so don’t give up on me and remember to trust me.” The crow finished speaking before he changed back into a bird. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Pleasure doing business with ya,” He said before quickly leaving out the window. Kokichi stood there for a long moment before he went over to Shuichi’s chair. It had one of his old sweaters he would wear when they had to change into human form. He slipped it over his shoulders and pulled it on over his head. It was warm as if someone had worn it recently. Kokichi let himself think that it was Shuichi there with him...helping him remember that he is loved, and that he is never alone because Shuichi’s love is always going to be with him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>-Here is part 2!! Thank you all so much for reading!!-</b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>-ShuichiOuma010-</em>
  </b>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0096"><h2>96. Happy Birthday Shuichi! {Fluff}</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Shuichi woke up with a sigh. He always seems to wake up feeling more exhausted than when he first fell asleep. He hated this fact, but he had to live with it anyway so he decided to suck it up and just get out of bed and get ready for the day. He was confused for a moment when he saw that Kokichi wasn’t in bed asleep beside him...he thought he must have had an early job he had to do so that’s why he isn’t asleep as he usually would be this early in the morning.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He got up out of the bed not wanting to leave the warmth of the bed...but he got up anyway because he knew he would have to get up eventually and because of his terrible sleep and horrible brain he wouldn’t be able to get back to sleep anyway. Grabbing the wall for support he got up and got dressed. Putting on his usual black attire before applying his eyeliner in the mirror after brushing his hair. He looked into the mirror for a moment before he sighed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Another day…” He looked out the window where the fan was blowing the air inside of the room. He moved over to the window to turn off the fan and close the window because it was getting hotter outside as the day moved into the late morning. He let himself take in all the smells and calm feeling of the morning allowing his head and thoughts to calm down. Even if it was only for a moment.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His phone buzzed from where it was plugged in on the bedside table. He groaned before making his way over to his phone after quickly slipping his shoes on. There was a message from Kaede on his screen as well as one in the group chat they made for all of the people who went to Hope's Peak and participated in the 53rd virtual reality game of Danganronpa. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Kaede: Happy Birthday Shuichi!</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He smiled and texted back soon after. He had completely forgotten what today was...he was so preoccupied with everything going on at work he completely forgot...and his family had never been big on birthdays, but he knew better than anyone Kokichi is crazy about them. That must be why he wasn’t in bed this morning. Shuichi thought to himself before sending a message to Kaede.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Shuichi: Thank you Kaede.</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He sent the message before going onto the group chat to check his messages. He was surprised that there was more than 10 messages.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Kaito: Happy Birthday Sidekick!</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Maki: Happy Birthday.</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Kirumi: Yes, Happy Birthday Shuichi, have a wonderful day today.</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Ryoma: Happy Birthday.</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Keebo: Happy Birthday Shuichi!</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Angie: Happy Birthday Shuichi! Auta wishes you a good day today!</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Tenko: Happy Birthday, even if you are a male...have a good day today</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Himiko: Happy Birthday! Sending you all of my birthday wishes with the power of magic~~~@</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Gonta: Shuichi Happy Birthday! Gonta happy for you!</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Rantaro: Happy Birthday my guy!</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Kokichi: Hell no Rantaro! He is my man! ):&lt;</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Rantaro: I’m sure you have a lot planned for him today</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Kokichi: You know it~! (;</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Rantaro: Have a good day today Shuichi!</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Kokichi: Happy birthday my beloved!! &lt;3 &lt;3 &lt;3</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Miu: Happy Birthday Pooichi!</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He laughed to himself before he remembered that Kokichi must be downstairs waiting for him to wake up, at least, that’s what he assumed he was doing. He slipped his phone into his pocket before he walked down the stairs into the living room. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The living room was full of party decorations. Balloons were all over the floor and ceiling. There were streamers hanging from the ceiling as well as some that were lining the walls. There were also multiple happy birthday signs. Shuichi laughed to himself at how much effort Kokichi must have put into putting all of these decorations up.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Good morning my beloved Shushu!!” Kokichi exclaimed coming over to him before wrapping his arms around his waist before planting a kiss on his neck because he was too short to reach his lips. Shuichi smiled and moved down so Kokichi could kiss his lips. Kokichi smiled because of his action before he kissed him and plated kisses all over his face. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You get your birthday kisses!!” He smiled before kissing all over his face counting up to his age before he pulled away. Shuichi was a blushing mess already and this made Kokichi laugh.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, Shu you’re adorable~” He teased before grabbing his hand and leading him to the table where he had already prepared his favorite meal. </span>
  <span></span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <span>“Kokichi I-,” Shuichi started only to be cut off by Kokichi moving a bite of food into his mouth. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t thank me yet I have another couple of surprises for you!” He said with a smile. Shuichi blushed and finished eating his meal. He didn’t bother arguing against him because he knew that Kokichi would be stubborn about it...so to avoid a small argument he kept his mouth shut and let Kokichi make his birthday special for him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ok! Go and sit on the couch!” He said in a cheery voice. Shuichi didn’t say anything as he obeyed what Kokichi asked him to do. The couch was in front of a Tv with shelves on either side of it that were full of dvd cases. Some for video games that they would play sometimes and the others full of movies. There was a lamp in the corner of the room and the room with the couch was carpeted unlike the dining room and kitchen that were both hardwood flooring with carpets in certain places, such as, in front of doors and under the sink. The couch was a greyish blue color while the carpet was a similar color but a bit darker than the couch. The walls were a light gray color, this was mostly because Kokichi is afraid of being in a room that is completely or mostly white. Shuichi didn’t mind it because he liked gray and black more than white anyway.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thank you for waiting!” He said, handing Shuichi a tub of razzberry ice cream. Razzberry and Strawberry were his two favorite flavors. Kokichi had a tub of Strawberry in his own hand. He placed the ice cream on the side table before he started a movie. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The movie he picked was The Princess Bride, it was one of their favorite movies to watch together because Kokichi loved the humor and adventure in it, and Shuichi loved the mystery behind the character called Westly. Shuichi was smiling for the first time he had the whole week, sure he smiled, but he hadn’t felt this happy for a long time and he was glad Kokichi was always able to give him the opportunity to be this happy.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>During the movie Kokichi sat in Shuichi’s lap as they shared ice cream. It was quiet except for the sounds coming from the movie, and all the little side comments and jokes Kokichi made which Shuichi adored. After a while the movie came to an end and Kokichi stood up and put everything away while Shuichi just sat there and watched him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Kokichi?” He asked, moving to get up. But just as before Kokichi cut him off by sitting in his lap. Shuichi blushed slightly while Kokichi cupped his cheeks in his hands and looked him directly into his eyes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I have one more present for you,” He said in a whisper before he kissed him again. Shuichi didn’t say anything as Kokichi got up and grabbed a gift that was sitting somewhere in the other room. Shuichi looked at him curiously wondering what he could have possibly gotten him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Go ahead Saihara-Chan open it!” He said with a smile on his face. Shuichi noticed there was some holes in the box and that made him wonder what it was even more. Without any more hesitation he opened it to reveal a small cat. The cat looked like a raccoon, it had the same pattern on its fur and it had black circles around its eyes. Shuichi blushed and held the small cat to his chest.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thank you Kokichi,” He said with a smile holding it close to him. Kokichi looked a little jealous and it took a moment for Shuichi to realize this. He placed the cat on the couch and pulled Kokichi into his lap before he kissed his forehead. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thank you so much Koki~,” He said in a teasing voice that made Kokichi bury his head into his chest. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“H-Hey!” He said, pulling back for a moment giving him a playful annoyed look. Shuichi smiled before he kissed him again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Thank you Kokichi, for making all of this worth it.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>-My birthday was similar to him in the way that one of my irl friends texted me- It was alright though some of my other friends I know through here made my day special so I will always remember it! Thank you all so much for reading!!-</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>-ShuichiOuma010-</em>
  </b>
</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0097"><h2>97. Nighttime Rhythm {Fluff/Angst}</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Late nights where we sit together alone in the dark. Letting the rhythm of the night and the rhythm of our hearts beating as the rhythm of our bodies. Light music playing through out minds as the movements come to us as our bodies collide. The smoothness of the moves you have perfected with your rhythm and body. Letting the sound move you through the sky. Dancing on the floor with no shoes on your feet. Shorts barely cover the top of your thighs while your shirt freely glides through the night.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Come on and join me,” You say with a smile as you hold your hand out for mine. I smile softly and stand up nervously. I wobble as I walk over to you. Both of knowing my balance is nothing real, more like nonexistent. You laugh a bit at my sad excuse for moving along with you. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I feel like giving up but your smile and laugh make me want to be able to dance with you. Dancing with you as we both fade into the night. Soft scents of the grass and the flowers that float through the wind. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I move my arms the same as you. Softly to the left letting my arms bounce once as if the wind pushed them up. Moving over to the other side they glide together to meet at the end. One on top of the other before they come apart just like the night when the light cuts through its beauty. My legs move to the left one step before crossing the other behind. I look over to you feeling worried I might fall yet again. But all you do is smile and start to twirl again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Like the flowers moving through the wind. Your arms move out to the side before coming back into the middle for a brief moment. In that moment I swear I can see the stars in your eyes. The reflection of the night's beauty on the one thing I find more beautiful than any other sight. Then they swoop out again into the air making the air move away to make room for your dance. The dance of the night where you sometimes will hold me close and others will be out doing your own dance to the nighttime rhythm. I smile again letting a blush consume my features.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>First to my cheeks, then to the tip of my nose, before it engulfs the top of my ears. I don’t bother trying to hide because at that moment your arm moves around mine. You hold onto my shoulder as our eyes meet again. It’s like that moment when my eyes met yours for the first time. The one that keeps playing over and over again through my mind. Reminding me how lucky that I am that you want to be mine. As wild as a horse, while I’m as shy as an owl. But the thing that makes you unique and so much like a picture of elegance and grace in my mind, is that you hold me and take me with you when you reach for the sky.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I felt my body slump as my feet tripped over the air underneath me. I feel my body start to fall and for a small moment I close my eyes. Wishing I never tripped, wishing that I wasn’t so clumsy all the time. You have so much grace and diligence making me feel small. But after that small moment I felt arms around me pulling me up.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s ok if you fall. It’s all part of the experience my love,” You pause and move closer so your face is closer to mine. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m right here by your side! So don’t worry, because I will catch you, everytime,” You smile makes my fear go away. My legs feel strong and they stand proud. Unlike how they are whenever I use them to stand. I give you a small nod not wanting to use my voice, because honestly, I don’t trust it to sound as confident as you made me feel.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Kichi, just follow me,” You look me in the eyes making sure my focus is on you. After you see that it has always been you hold both of my hands in your own. Slowly moving them to the left to bounce like a drop into the ocean before moving to the other side to do the same. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Drip</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Drop</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The movements are like small drops in the water of the night. Cool pools where we can reside. On the water you and I dance here throughout the night, throughout the rest of our lives. All of the things that happened are all in the past as the rain begins to fall. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Drip </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Drop</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Drip</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Us dancing on the dark water as we slowly begin to light up the night. You sway me back and forth in the moves you had done prior to my fall. Prior to that small mistake that made me feel all of the emotions I try so hard to get rid of. Just to be reminded that you don’t see me for just that. You don’t see me as the world sees me, you see me for me, no matter how many flaws...you love me.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The raindrops of our dance fall one by one. As the gentle swings of your arms move to the rhythm we create together. As our own nighttime rhythm. Drops fall everytime our arms bob against the air. Like a piano piece well written we create music as we move to the sounds of the night.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Because no matter what happens I want to stay in this moment with you. “Relax a bit, you don’t have to be perfect darling,” You whisper into my ear as the song we create comes to a slower rhythm. Hearts beating as the thumping of the drum. Of this piece we create.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ah, alright,” I say, feeling a little sheepish as you hold me. It’s hard to decide whether this is all real or if this is all a lie. But my lies don’t work on you, they never did. No matter how much I wanted them to, no matter how much they seemed true to me. You always worked to find the truth and always were able to shatter them all like glass. Breaking the cage around me. The cage all of my lies put me in. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I let my mind go quiet for a moment as I focused on the sounds and the feelings coursing through my body. The calm feeling of my mind as the world slowed down. The feeling of your body next to mine expressing the feelings we feel through these movements. Without having to say a word I am able to understand the feelings you are having, just as you are able to do with me.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The loneliness that has always dominated your life is always a burden on you even if you have others around you. As my loneliness dominates me in a way, making it hard to be vulnerable or honest around others because of the cage they made me put myself into.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>You have shown me that you need to accept the feelings you have, and accept that you can let them go and move on.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Drip </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Drop</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Drip</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Drop</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>You make these nighttime hours feel like their own world. So please never let our dance end.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>-I love to dance, but sadly my dance partner is no longer with me...but one day I hope to show others that you can express yourself and be comfortable with yourself through dance or any form of art. It shows the world who you are and they can accept it or reject it...but know that you are you and that’s all I would ever want you to be! Stay safe lovelies!!-</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>-ShuichiOuma010-</em>
  </b>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0098"><h2>98. Too Tired {Angst}</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>I’m too tired for this shit...everyday the same game I’m forced to play. ‘Oh how are you doing?’ I always reply ‘I’m doing great’ and then they go on with their day. But really I’m sick of having to be like this all the time...feeling like I’m not even a human being. Everyday is planned, everything has a schedule, just like clock work. The only problem is I’m not a fucking clock...I want to be what I used to be...that tiny little kid that didn’t have a care in the world. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Pass it over here!” One of the kids shouted over to my friend Kay. Kay smiled as she always does and tossed the call over to the other boy. I was sitting by the tree. I would always sit at this tree with Kay, Jo, and Barret. They were my close friends and we always did everything together.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Barret only lives a couple blocks away from my new house and I always go over there to ask if he wants to hangout with me. Kay lived another block over and Jo lived a little ways down into the farther part of our small neighborhood. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Sai Sai!” Jo came over and held his hand out to me. I blushed a bit and threw my homework into my backpack. A lot of the other kids think I’m so weird for studying things ahead in school...and why I love doing homework in the first place. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Are you going to play?” He asked as I stood up and brushed off my shorts. My shorts were dark blue while I wore a light blue shirt. My mother loves it when I wear my blue shirt! Because she made a little saying on the back of it “you are never lost my child, you are found,”. I don’t know where it came from but I don’t pay much mind to it.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Yes of course!” I exclaimed with a smile on my face. I rushed over to the others who were hitting a soccer ball with their heads and passing it to each other. I joined and passed it over to Ryan, before he passed it to Namomi. With a smile and small grunts the game continued as we all wore ourselves out.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>We were all panting hard by the time the bell rang. “That was so fun! We definitely need to do that again tomorrow!” Barret laughed putting his arm around my shoulder. I smiled and looked at Kay, Jo, and Barret. This is what makes me happy! With that I went inside and went back into class.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But that’s the thing...I used to be able to go to school and mess around with my friends...god that died fast. I have no control over my life anymore...I’m an only child which means I need to be the best I can be to make my parents look good. I’m going to an intense early college high school and it’s very strict there...I barely have anytime to myself anymore. My days are usually homework from 6:00-8:30, eat a quick breakfast before leaving for work from 9:00-13:00, then getting back home at 14:00 to eat a quick dinner before back up to my room for homework up until I go to bed...and this is just on my off days...when I have school it’s even more busy...</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sure the sleeping pill they have me take works, but that’s the thing it only helps me to stay asleep...but that doesn’t mean that my brain goes to sleep...I’m always stressing about something because I always need to be on top of everything because I get no help from my parents because they just expect that from me...I can’t even be honest with the few people I talk to...both of them are online, but there are a few people who text me about a project we are working on together, or even just homework help. But I don’t really have anyone who wants to talk to me for being me...because that’s all most of them see me as a toy or a tool to be used for their own satisfaction.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It all starts the same with the kind act, ‘Hi you must be Shuichi let’s be friends?’ Then I say, ‘Of course,’ with the best smile I can muster. Because deep down I know that this is going to be short-lived and they are going to move on and leave me in the dust like all the others.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Shuichi baby! You coming, you need to be ready for school so you can be there on time!” My mother calls from downstairs and all I can do is roll my eyes...god, not again. The same act over and over again- you can’t be doing this...you need to smile! </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I smiled with a small laugh before grabbing my bag and leaving my room.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Look at you.” My father said with the same nonchalant tone. It made me feel amazing that both of my parents couldn’t give two shits about me.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah!” I said with a small laugh before grabbing some things from the cupboards for my lunch before waiting by the door. My mother walked over to me with a forced smile on her lips.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ready to go to school?” She asked as she does everyday, so i gave her my everyday response.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yup!” I smiled.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Then let’s get going!” She said with another forced smile and laugh. God, that makes me so mad...why is she laughing...maybe this is just me overreacting. I want to be able to smile like I could back then...I want to be able to laugh like I just heard the funniest thing in the world.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Alrighty!” I said with the same forced smile. My parents know about my depression and ever since they found out they are treating me like I don’t even belong in my own home...making me want to leave even more than I already did. Sure they try...but they always just seem to make things worse when they try to do things they should have been doing ever since I was a child. But I can’t blame them...their lives are busy...and that's my life.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After pulling up to the building I walk out of the car with a sigh. God...this shit again. “Hello Shuichi! Welcome back!” Mandy smiled. The only reason she talks to me is because she is on the hope squad and they all know somewhat about what happened last year...god I will never live that down.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey Mandy! Same to you!” I smiled before she gave me a highfive before she walked away. I walked into my homeroom class, thankful that there were no other people that wanted to give me that half-assed ‘I care’ type of shit.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why hello Shuichi,” My teacher stated as I walked into the empty room. My mother always drives me to the building 15 minutes before class starts. So since my first period is english, I use that time to do homework that is either due later that day or even work on some projects. It’s nice because her classroom is quiet and kind of chilly but I don’t mind. Because now I only ever wear long sleeves, even in the intense heat…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Heya~!” I heard someone call out as I just finished opening my english assignment on my chromebook. I turned to the voice that called out to find that the person was much closer than I thought they were.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“H-hi,” I stuttered out feeling nervous about someone coming up to me. Sure I can deal with people I already know...but seeing it’s someone I haven’t seen before it made me flustered.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you Shuichi?” He asked with a smile. I blushed a bit more as I saw more of this guys features. He looked beautiful- but I can’t think like that! My parents would hate me if I got a boyfriend...so it’s better if I just die alone.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You there~?” He asked, poking my cheek. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Y-yes sorry! I’m Shuichi!” I yelled immediately bushing more. The other boy giggled a bit at this action before he took a chair and stood in front of me. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Alright! Just the person I was looking for!” He exclaimed, making my eyebrow raise. He was looking for me...does he need help with his homework or something? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I need some help with my classes...and I went to the counselor and he said that Shuichi Saihara has all of the classes you have, so to get you all caught up go and talk to him!” He said blinking his eyes a couple of times as if he was asking me for permission. Embarrassed and flustered because some other students came in and while they took their seats they looked at the two of us with weird stares.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“T-that sounds fine!” I stuttered again hating how embarrassed this was making me feel.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Alrighty! Thank you so so much Shuichi! Here is my number,” He said pulling out a piece of paper and a purple pen to write it down for me.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you free after school today?” He said taking my hand in his own. I blushed more at this action before I looked away from his piercing gaze.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Y-yeah...I’m free after school up until 20:00.” I whispered before he smiled more.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s great! Thank you so much! Just text me where you want to meet!” He yelled before disappearing out of the classroom. I blushed and looked at the paper he placed in the palm of my hand. Who is he- I saw on top of the paper was his name ‘Kokichi Ouma’ I smiled. I want to get to know this Kokichi person, he is the only one who made me feel this way again, happy. He makes me feel happy.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>-Sorry for the late post of this! Today has been a exhausting day and my legs don’t want to move anymore, but I’m doing better now! Thank you all so much for reading!-</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>-ShuichiOuma010-</em>
  </b>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0099"><h2>99. Nightmares [FlashForward] {Fluff}</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“So, would you like to tell me more about your experience in the game?” The male asked me. He was supposedly my therapist, but honestly Shuichi is the one who helps me the most, along with the others.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s still making my nightmares worse, just because of what they have put us all through. Tsumugi is the one who always is in my nightmares...taking Shuichi from my side and killing him…” I let the words drop from my lips like the heavy stones they felt like. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I see…” He wrote more things in his notebook before his assistant opened the door and let me out of the room. God I hate coming here. They have been making me come here for months now and it’s making everything honestly worse in some ways...because they only want to bring up the past over and over again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I walked out of the white building with all the white walls and let myself open the door as the cool air surrounded me. The air was a little colder making me wish I had brought a jacket with me...but this morning I remember Shuichi reminding me about it...but I just told him I would be fine without it. Why didn’t I just take his advice…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I sighed and saw Shuichi’s car waiting for me in front of the building. I smiled to myself and moved towards the car feeling a warm feeling radiate through my chest. I love him so much, he waited for me while they kept me for an hour...even though that felt like forever. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Koki!” He exclaimed with a smile just as I opened the door. The warmth of the heater of the car enveloped me as I sat into the seat. Shuichi even wrapped his jacket around me with a small laugh.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You cold, I told you to bring a jacket,” He sighed, making me huff. I folded my arms over my chest and looked to the side.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, laugh it up,” I said with an annoyed tone. Shuichi laughed for a brief moment making my cheeks threaten to reveal my stupid smile and the blush I felt coming to my face. This was partially because of the heat of the car and because of his teasing, sometimes I resent how well he knows me.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you mad?” He asked in a teasing tone, but his eyes were more serious. I shook my head feeling the anger leave my shoulders almost immediately.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No~ I could never stay mad at you~” I teased leaning into his chair. I rested my head on his arm for a moment. I nuzzled the side of my face with a smile. He is so warm~ </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I let my eyes move up to his face and his cheeks were red as they usually are because of my teasing~ But honestly I love him and all of his flaws and all of his hidden talents and hobbies~. After another moment passed I moved back into my seat allowing him to drive.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“T-Thank you,” He whispered before he started driving the car back to our apartment. I smiled to myself and finally let myself relax for the first time since this morning when they called me to come into the office...I hate coming here so they can get information for their ‘research’ about the survivors of the game.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So what have you been up to all day?” I asked, trying to get the conversation started. He smiled as his eyes studied the road.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I was at work first thing in the morning, and I got let out early to pick you up--which reminds me, I got you something.” I felt my eyebrows raise at this. He got me something~ but my birthday isn’t coming up...so what would he want to get me?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh~? My beloved shumai got me a gift~?” I said in a teasing tone. He blushed more before stuttering out an answer,</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Y-yeah...you’re just going to have to wait until we get back though,” I frowned and folded my arms across my chest.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Fine~~,” I said with a sigh before I was cut off by my phone buzzing. I pulled it out of my pocket and saw that Maki was calling me. I smiled and answered the phone.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey, what’s up?” I asked, putting the phone to my ear. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I wanted to ask how the appointment went,” She said, getting right to the point as usual. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It was the same old stuff again and honestly it makes me feel so drained talking about it after all this time…” I sighed putting a hand to the bridge of my nose.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I see...I hate that they keep calling us all back...it’s better to be able to move on and not have to rehash what happened so often.” She said with her normal monotone voice. I feel bad for her because-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Anyway, I’ll leave you to it, I’m sure you have some work to get to and I honestly got the information I needed,” She said.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Alright, have a good rest of your day sayonara~!” I said with a smile before hanging up the phone. Shuichi moved his hand to my thigh before he took my hand in his own.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m glad you are still here, I love you,” He said abruptly. I felt myself flinch at his words.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s a pretty random thing to say my beloved, why all of a sudden~?” I asked in a teasing tone. I felt his hand clench my own for a moment. I just gently rubbed the back of his hand.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You feel it too, don’t you…” I whispered looking up at the car ceiling. He gave me a small hum to indicate he was listening. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s like we're back there all over again…” My mind went back to the game for a moment before he kissed my hand bringing me back to the present moment.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But we have each other and we aren’t trapped there anymore.” He said, pulling into the driveway. I didn’t feel like talking at the moment so I just gave him a small smile and moved in to kiss him. We left the car after a small moment and walked into the house as the sky was getting darker.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Welcome home,” He said as chuoi came and circled around my legs. I picked Chuoi up and held him in my arms while petting him behind his ears. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m glad to be home,” I said with a genuine smile. This is where I am now and I need to enjoy this moment regardless of these meetings they are making the lot of us go to…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>-Here is the prize for making it to 100k reads in my nightmares book! Thank you all so much!!-</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>-ShuichiOuma010-</em>
  </b>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0100"><h2>100. Tiny Moments {Angst}</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“Shuichi, come with me!” Kokichi called me over and I smiled at him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m coming!” I called back to him before running over to his side. We were both outside and it was getting later, but neither of us cared. My parents had no idea that I was out this late...but honestly they don’t care if I’m home or not. They don’t even pay any attention to me unless I have done something that’s worthy of their friends attention...but other than that it’s just me.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His smile and the gentle look in his eyes made me feel at ease. He brushed his hair out of his eyes and looked me in the eyes. I felt my whole body shake from the chill of the wind coming past the both of us. He laughed a bit and pulled me in for a hug.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey are you cold?” He said in a slight teasing tone. I frowned at him and tried to move away only to be pulled closer to him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s ok if you are, it’s chilly out here,” He said with another smile. I felt my shoulders relax at this and I leaned against him and let myself be warm. After a moment he backed away slightly to look me in the eyes. His expression showed concern and worry, but also love and calm. It was interesting he was able to make a face that showed all of those emotions in one glance.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey, today at school the other kids were giving you a hard time again...what was that about?” He asked, making me sigh. Of course I couldn’t hide this from him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well they were just telling me how I should be in love with this girl that likes me...but I have never felt that way towards a female...so I just can’t. Now they are all threatening me because I’m gay and honestly it makes me feel like I made a mistake having the feelings I do.” I looked to the side trying to muster up the courage to give him a smile...but I knew even if I did he would see through it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>...</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well that should be your choice.” He paused and led me to a patch of grass where we could sit and talk uninterrupted by the few others walking around. I sat next to him and let him continue.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Meaning, you get to decide who you like, and if you like boys that’s ok, and if you like girls that's ok, and if you like both that’s ok. But you don’t have to put any of those on yourself...because you are Kokichi and that’s all that matters,” He smiled and rusted my hair with his hand. I felt a small blush come to my cheeks. I dismissed it because it was dark enough where it wouldn’t be super noticeable.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thank you...you are right,” I said feeling a smile come to my cheeks. I feel happy, I feel like I belong here...I feel like this is where I’m supposed to be, because I can just be who I am without feeling like I don’t belong or am the only outcast.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>...</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Day after day the feeling of not belonging grew with every day I was in my own house. Forcing myself to smile for the other people living in my house, because that’s what they needed from me. So that’s what I have to be around them and everyone else.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But what If I don’t want to be this person anymore? Would they care? They would get mad at me, because even if I try to speak my mind they just always talk over me or put words into my mouth. This isn’t who I want to be anymore.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey! Shuichi!” Kokichi called out from the side. I looked over at him kicking his feet out from where he was sitting on my bed. I smiled and walked over to take the spot next to him. It was quiet for a moment before he put his arm around my shoulders.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So~ do you want to play a game~ or maybe even dance?” He asked slowly, moving off the bed before grabbing my hand to join him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ah but Kokichi! I don’t dance!” I yelled in response before he smirked and grabbed my phone. I tried to get it out of his grip...but he was too fast for me.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know you can~” He said before playing the song ‘I don’t dance’ from High School Musical 2...god I hate that I still like to listen to some of the songs from that movie. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Not a chance…” I mumbled before adding, “no..” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>...</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kokichi grabbed both of my hands and stood in front of me. Sure he was shorter than me...but I was way too flustered to try to lead the dance. “If you can do this!” He spun me around before he was holding my arms around me as my back was against his chest. I smiled to myself and let my embarrassment leave for this moment, because it was just me and Kokichi, no one else around.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And I can do that,” I sang as I turned around in his arms so we were facing again. He smirked and soon continued.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“But I don’t dance,” He sang slowly side stepping before coming back to my side. I smiled and slowly let his arm move around my waist. The song played in the background as we looked at each other for a long moment. This was before he broke away with a laugh and continued dancing. Sure some of the moves were uncoordinated and a little messy, but that’s why we dance because there are no rules when we do.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Moving and expressing your feelings, even some feelings you may have not known you had. It lets you be able to be your true self without having to hide things from others with a pained smile. You get to be you.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>...</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>We were dance partners at the dance academy that my parents signed me up for . It was mostly because they wanted to get me out of the house for once, but I was able to meet Kokichi...and me and him became very close. I never knew what it’s like to have a close friend like him, and I definitely don’t want this to go away.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I felt my phone buzz in my pocket making my focus leave me for a moment. Who could be texting me--wait shit! It could be my mother! I pulled out my phone quickly, worried that my mother would be mad at me because of how I was ignoring my phone.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Kichi: Hey Shu-Shu~ We have practice in 10 minutes! You up for walking?</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I smiled as my anxiety left my shoulders. It was just Kichi. I’m so glad. I thought, wiping a little sweat that was sticking to my forehead. I quickly messaged back feeling my heartbeat increase. I don’t know what this feeling is...but I’m sure it has something to do with the fact that I love Kokichi. Everything about him, from his thoughts to the little cute things he does...it all makes me fall even farther for him, but what I’m worried about is that he will just leave me like the others.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>...</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I pushed the thoughts away as I felt my face flush. I can’t be blushing now...I should be getting ready! I mentally scolded myself before sending the message.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Shu: I’m all for that! Let’s meet at the usual place then!</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span> I smiled and closed my phone before changing. We are both in a dance group that focuses on teaching all kinds of dance, and as of now we are learning a mix between hip hop and jazz dancing. We are learning it from the song ‘Maneater’ by Nelly Furtado. It’s a little embarrassing because of the words...but it may also be because it was chosen for me and Kokichi to perform at state. Maybe the fact that we will be performing in front of so many people is making me embarrassed about it...but it could also be because of some of the moves I have to do with Kokichi.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kokichi is probably the best dance partner I can have. Because even though he always teases me he always makes it a point to make sure that I feel comfortable and know that I can do the moves well. He encourages me in ways no one else can, he is also super helpful with schooling. Since we are both dancers we have to miss school sometimes for practice or performances, so we help each other catch up with the help from some other friends of ours.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When I finished getting dressed I grabbed my bag, keys, and my phone to take with me. When I got outside I saw Kokichi standing at the meeting place with his hands behind his head. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey Shu~!” He said with a teasing smile, I blushed a bit at this but walked towards him anyway. I smiled at him before grabbing his hand.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Y-you ready to go?” I asked with a confident smile. He smiled back at me and didn’t make any comments about holding my hand before he grabbed mine back. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well let's get going then!” He smiled and pulled me in the direction of the studio. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When we got to the studio there wasn’t anyone else there except for the instructor who was Kokichi’s adoptive mother. I smiled at her before she greeted the both of us with a hug.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I missed my two best dancers!” She said with a smile placing a kiss on Kokichi’s forehead before placing hers against mine for a small moment. I felt at home here, it was nice to be here with people I considered my family. Even when I was with my own family I didn’t feel like I belonged there...but here with Kokichi and Amaine I feel like I can be myself, and I feel love.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I wouldn’t say-” I started only to be cut off by Amaine.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You don’t go criticizing yourself! Because you are good! Sure you may have not won any awards, but you keep trying and working harder so that’s what makes you the best!” She said with a smile. I let myself smile back at her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah you’re right!” I said before she walked over to start the music. Kokichi and I got into position so we were ready to start the dance. I looked over at him before he smiled at me, telling me with his eyes that I was going to do great. I let this give me confidence as the music played. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Take it back </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Take it back</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It started as we slowly moved down to the floor to a squat. We put our arms to the left touching the floor with our fingers before quickly snapping our hands back to the floor closer to us, then we did it with the other side. Before the chorus started.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Everybody look at me,</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Me</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>We moved up with a side lunge before halting at the side. We did this again on the other side pretty quickly before we halted a second time. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I walk in the door you start screaming</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>For a small moment we hung there suspended in the position before moving down to a side squat to spring off our opposite hand. I moved behind Kokichi as he moved in front. The motion went slow for me as I saw his focused gaze as his body moved.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Come on everybody whatcha you here for?</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I took two steps towards Kokichi holding out a hand to him before slowly bringing my fingers back into a fist one by one. He smiled before he took one step forward.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Move your body around like a Nympho</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He rolled his hips while he put his other foot forward. I slowly moved to the side and let him take my hand before putting us into a formal dancing position.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Everybody gets your necks to crack around.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>We moved together before the second part of the sentence when I moved away and did a side flip before standing up again and putting my head to one side before moving it to the other. Kokichi did the same on the other side before we paused for a moment.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>All you crazy people come on jump around.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>We both moved forward pulling the air with our hands before jumping back and putting our hands to the left abruptly before going down into a squat before doing the same on the right. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>We were about to do another move before she stopped the both of us. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Good job guys! Sorry I just had to let you both know I got a call from the people running the national competition!” She said with a smile. Me and Kokichi moved over to her side waiting for more information.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“They said they both want you there if you are able to pull ahead in state! I knew you would make it in! Because your performance today was phenomenal!” She said giving the both of us a hug. I looked over at Kokichi and he smiled at me.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“See Shu! When we get first in state we will be able to move onto Nationals!” He said with a huge smile. I smiled back at him pulling him in for a hug.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I knew we could do it,” I said against his hair before he pulled back with a smile.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s because we are great partners,” He said with a small blush before he pulled me down to his level. I could see his mom from the corner of my eye and she seemed to be fangirling about this. I didn’t pay much attention to that because I was so focused on how close we were-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He pulled me into a kiss before I could react. I kissed him back after getting over my embarrassment. It was a nice moment and I couldn’t hear anything other than Kokichi’s breath. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After we broke apart he spoke first, “You understand now don’t you?” He said with a teasing smirk.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I want to be partners with you in every aspect of my life, so would you be so kind and be my boyfriend?” He asked with an adorable blush on his cheeks. I felt my heart burst at this. Sure he wasn’t proposing or anything, but he wants to be my boyfriend!</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes!” I said hugging him and knocking him over in the process. We landed on the floor with a grunt before he smiled up at me.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m glad,” He said, kissing the tip of my nose.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>This is why all these tiny moments are so special…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So don’t waste them my love</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Because you’ll never know when they're gone.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>-This is out to my old dance partner who passed away 2 years ago. He was always willing to dance with me, because I love to dance, but I never really had anyone to dance with that I felt comfortable around to dance with! This is out to you Jordin! Thank you for all the tiny moments we had while they lasted! Thank you all so much for reading!!-</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>-ShuichiOuma010-</em>
  </b>
</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0101"><h2>101. Please Listen {Angst}</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>
    <em>T/W: There are intense themes of sexual asult, depression, self-harm, suicide, and hallucinations. This is a warning.</em>
  </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The days keep piling on top of each other in an endless loop. It’s all the same, the same looks, the same ignorance, the same pain. It always seems to pile on my shoulders, making my crush under it’s weight. Pressing down on my shoulders as I try to call out for help...but no one hears my call. It’s as though a feather falling on a pool of water, goes unnoticed by many and is seemingly silent, but it’s still there.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I’m still here even if people don’t listen to me. They never do. Everything I say is dumb and unwanted...they don’t listen to a word I say when I hear their every word. Carving into my skin when they say such ignorant things.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>...</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I don’t like going to see movies during school.” Cena sighs leaning back into his chair. I look over at him with a confused glance.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Why’s that?” I asked, making him look over at me. He scoffs.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Because there is always going to be that one autistic kid that’s going to start screaming. Like what the hell could be so scary?” He said knotting his eyebrows. I frowned to myself. God, why do people say these things...they don’t know what that person could be going through...would Cena look at me weird and be annoyed if I had a panic attack around him? Would he judge me for having a hallucination attack when he can’t see what I’m seeing? </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Yeah I guess…” I said looking away from him. Trying to tell him that what he said offended me without having to tell him to his face. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I’m probably just going to watch it with Benji,” He said before the final bell rang allowing us to leave class for the day. I walked out with the lingering thought in my mind. Did when I opened up to him about my hallucinations just make him hate me more? Because ‘What the hell could be so scary?’ I really thought he would be a good friend to me...but I guess I was wrong. People just don’t understand they really don’t.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I sighed as my mother pulled up in her car. It was a nice blue car that she had gotten about a year ago because our older car was being used by me and my sister because it was an older car. She was looking at her phone waiting for me before I got into the passenger's seat. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Hello honey, how was school today?” She asked with that fake ass smile she always wears when talking to me. It’s like she is asking the question telling me that she wants me to be descriptive and tell her about my day, when really she just wants me to shut up so she can rant about her day or complain about all the things she has to do.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“It was good!” I said with my typical smile. She smiled back at me before she looked back to the road. The car ride was mostly quiet before she spoke again.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Me and your father are going to get more things done on the house, your brother Kai has play practice most of next week as well as the week after that...so I need you guys to make sure the house is getting cleaned as usual, because none of you are doing your jobs…” She sighed as we stopped at another stoplight. I looked out the front window with a smile on my face. I remembered yesterday when I was up until at least 1 in the morning because I was cleaning the bathroom. The soap had run out and seeing as I take a shower every day...I needed there to be soap the next time I took one. Because all my siblings...except for my youngest brother NiNi, I mean that’s what I call him anyway, he is always willing to do his chores if someone reminds him...but my oldest sister and the brother right below me always don’t give two shits about things like that.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Okay! I’ll make sure to get those things done!” I said smiling again. I felt the feeling come to my shoulders again. You aren’t doing enough...don’t you see that when you took a break yesterday that made the rest of them fall behind because you weren’t there. You are just seen as the maid of the house anyway...always working, always cleaning, always expected to be the most mature as if I’m at my job instead of my own house.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Thank you,” She said with the same fake care lacing her voice. I know she didn’t give two shits about me because I have always been expected to be on my own, and be able to get my work done on time and done well. Because that’s who they made me into, who they expect me to be. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Of course,” I said with the same kind tone I used with anyone. Even if they hurt me, it isn’t their fault, everyone has a reason for doing anything...and putting the blame on them when I don’t know the full story isn’t how I work. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>When the car stopped in front of our house after some time driving I got out of the passenger's seat and walked into the house and up to my room, because my homework needs to get done, after that I have to make sure the toilet paper is restocked in both bathrooms, as well as making sure the dishes are done, and making sure that my siblings have gotten their own homework done.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>...</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>All the lies I have to tell because of the pain I can’t let them know they are causing me. I have never wanted to be here...and I hate that people grow so attached to me, because I know in the end they are going to leave me and ignore me like all the others. This is because I was born to be alone, born to work alone, and born to grieve alone. Always on my own because no one listens. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sure there are many people online who listen...but that’s mostly because they can’t interrupt while I’m typing...they can’t show me their bored tone as well as their bored expression anytime I open up about anything. All the nights I broke down crying because of the pain they forced into my chest from their ignorance. Always telling me that “I want you to be here because you are so great” or “You are so talented” and “You are so amazing” But what if I don’t want to be seen as that anymore...because then that just makes me have to stay longer. It makes it so these people will be in pain when I leave...but what if that’s my only option? I don’t want to be this person everyone is making me feel I have to be. I always work hard because I have to...to show my brain that I can keep going, even if it feels like torture. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Torture as the strings dig into the skin on my wrist. Pain as the screams play out through my head again. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>….</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“You aren’t a human being, you pathetic puppet!” He yelled at me as I trembled in the corner of the floor. There were fresh cuts on my thighs from him using me as he usually would. I slowly stood up only to be stopped by his hands moving around my wrists. The strings soon became thorny vines as they cut into my wrists, arms, and neck. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“This isn’t because of me sweets,” He said before packing his things up before he left, slamming the door behind him. I just shivered on the floor as I felt the effects of the pain he caused me when I was alone with my own head making me be the star in this horror show. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I moved my hands to my wrist to try to pull the vines away but they just became tighter ever time I tried to get them off. I felt my whole figure shake as I held my hand over my mouth as I cried to myself...alone in my room naked on the floor. I didn’t care about the exposure...it wasn’t the first time or the last time I would have to do that. But I felt so broken...my body doesn’t know what love is because no one has ever loved me.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>It only knows of the pain of unrequited love, the pain of lust taking over when there was no love. Left alone with my broken body...not being able to go a couple of days without getting these cravings taken care of. Bitter tears fall down my cheeks as I have to do it again so my body will be satisfied. So that I will be satisfied. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I feel the gross feeling come over me as my arms feel limp by my sides. I hate having to do this with him...and I hate that if he isn’t there I have to do it myself...all alone with my own thoughts trying to make me do terrible things. I miss the pain of the scars on my skin. Wishing for nothing more than them to come back...for me to make them come back. All over </span>
  </em>
  <b>
    <em>Again.</em>
  </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>…</em>
  </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I was already coming around the time where I had to go downstairs to confront my mother and father after giving my phone to them while I was in my room. I cried once more as the painful memories came back to my mind. All the lies they have all told me...I have never been anyone's top priority because honestly it would be a waste of time to worry about me. Because I can handle myself and no one else should have to see my tears, have to hold me as they say pitiful words to me, have to pretend to love me...I’m sick of it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They all see me as this smart, beautiful, talented teenage boy, but honestly...I’m just using my brain that I was given to give it what it wants, more knowledge, and more understanding. I love learning about the things people do and why they do them...and I have always loved reading, writing, and doing math problems over the weekend. People think I’m just this loner nerd that is well known with many friends. When really all of my “friends” only come to me when they need something, they only talk to me when they feel lonely, and they only care when they think I could leave them.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>….</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Hey I have been-” I tried to ask them as they laughed again. My friends Fraki and Nima were talking about something that was causing them to laugh a lot. I was trying to tell them about the pain I had started causing myself…</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Oh hey Shuichi!” One of them said before they started talking again. I just stood there and tried to cut into the conversation at some points.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Hey, Nima? Fraki?” I asked but it was in vain just as everyone else they only cared about what was going on with themselves. But that’s fine...that always happens anyway. I walked away from them not wanting to be in pain anymore...and they didn’t even notice I left even though I briefly said goodbye to the both of them.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>...</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s 21:00...so I have to put my phone downstairs. I slowly moved off my bed feeling my wet hair soaking the back of my shirt. I walked down the stairs slowly checking my phone one more time before I closed all the tabs returning it to my pocket. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey Shuichi,” They said with a smile when I walked in. I returned the smile as best as I could before I plugged my phone into the charger. My mother patted the spot of the bed next to her before she asked me,</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How was your day today?” I looked over at the both of them and smiled. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Today was a good day I was able to-” I started wanting to try to give them another change...but I was interrupted as usual.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey we need to call that guy so he can come fix the door tomorrow.” My father said looking down at his phone making my mother pull hers off the side table shortly after.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, you’re right. We also need to make sure that we know what we want done with that light in the family room.” She said, looking away from me making my smile falter for a moment.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>...</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Hey mom look what I did!” I said holding up a drawing that I drew. She didn’t even look away from the Tv. I frowned to myself and started walking away before she said,</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“That’s great honey,” Without even looking at me. I walked back downstairs with tears forming in my eyes.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>…</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Hey, how are you doing today?” My mother asked me as I was walking home with her from elementary school.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I have been doing amazing! Me and Cari both were able to make drawings in the dirt under the swings before we did the spider on the swing with me on her lap! It was super fun and then-” I cut myself off when I saw she was just smiling and giggling a bit while looking at her phone...she wasn’t even listening to me. I just shut up for the rest of the walk.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>….</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Hey mother,” I called out seeing her sitting on the couch with her phone, I felt like crying. I cut my arms earlier that day and over the past couple of months I haven’t been able to stop.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Oh hey Shuichi, what’s wrong?” She asked before I sat next to her on the couch. I put my hands in my lap nervously.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I didn’t have a great day today because the kids at school were just being rude to one of my friends and I ended up hurting myself when I got home.” I whispered before she grabbed my arm and lifted my sleeve to reveal the couple of cuts. I was doing better with not doing it all the time..but it was hard to go for more than a week.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Why did you do this?” She asked in an accusing tone. I flicnhed at it and felt some more tears fall down my face. Sure, I thought you would be caring towards me...but god I was dumb.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I was having a bad day and-” She cut me off with tears coming to her eyes.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“You think I like feeling worried all the time?! You are always doing things like this! Why don’t you just come talk to me! Were here to listen!” She said referencing my father. I looked to the side before I smiled a bit.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Sorry I didn’t think about how you could be feeling.” I admitted feeling the weight come back to my shoulders. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I’m sorry for being so inconsiderate.” I said before she looked to the side with an angry look on her face.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Just come to us next time so you don’t do it again! You should be able to use your coping skills and the things you learned in IOP to be able to not do that anymore.” She said her gaze softened before she hugged me. I smiled at her before adding.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I’ll try harder.” I said before leaving the couch and going up into my room to cry again. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>…</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“We want you to tell us what's going on.” She said looking over at me. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Well honestly something has been bothering me, I have always been wondering about why some of the people who bullied me did what they did.” I paused which allowed my mother to interrupt me.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“What those kids did sucked, but know that there are other people that are in worse situations than you so keep that in mind,” She said making me feel guilty all over again.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Ah, ok,” I said before she started talking again.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“There are people dying out there because of there being no clean water, so you don’t have it so bad! Be grateful for what you have! Because god is always looking out for you!” She said with a smile before I gave her one in return.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Yeah your right,” I said before giving them hugs before going up to my room. I felt tears pouring down my face right as I left their room. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I shouldn’t be feeling bad right now...I should be a good daughter and just do what they say without letting these feelings get the better of me...I don’t have feelings, because I’m just a puppet for these people to use as an example to the others...I’m only seen as someone with a price tag over their head. If the price is too low they don’t even look at me, if it’s as high as it is they all look to me to do the right thing all the time.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>…</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After they had their own conversation for about another 30 minutes I got up to leave the room before my mother stopped me.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sorry about that, Shuichi,” She said before I quickly said.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, it’s alright,” I said with a smile making her gaze soften.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thank you, is there anything else you want to talk about?” She asked before I thought, ‘would you even listen if I did?’</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, I think I’m good!” I said with a smile before giving them hugs and leaving up to my room like any other day.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Goodnight Shuichi I love you,” She said as I walked up the stairs. Love me? I thought to myself, god that’s such a pathetic lie. After that I walked up to my room to see Kichi sitting there on my bed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So how did it go~?” He asked before patting the spot next to him. I took the spot and felt tears coming down my eyes again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“This is so stupid,” I said before he gently cupped my cheeks before pulling me in for a hug.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What happened? Do you want to talk about it?” He asked moving me so we were laying next to each other on the bed. I looked into his eyes and smiled a bit.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You know it’s still funny to me that you are my best friend, even though no one else can see you,” I said making him smile.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, that’s because you trust me enough to show me the real you,” He gently put his hand in my hair. I looked up at him with my eyes wide.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“The r-real me?” I asked looking at him sceptically.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, the real you, the Shuichi who is able to speak his mind and be able to be who he really is, even if it’s just when you are alone with me,” He said gently kissing my cheek. I blushed at this before sitting up making him groan.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why did you move Shu~” He said, moving his hand to hold my waist. I looked back down at him before smiling again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I almost forgot to write in my journal,” I said before moving to grab it as well as one of the colored pens in my pen case. He watched me and didn’t say anything while I wrote about my day. It was just a list of the things I had done today, like doing my writing, schoolwork, and chores, as well as any harm I had caused myself. Which today I haven’t done anything surprisingly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So, Shuichi, are you feeling tired?” He asked me as I closed my journal after putting a bookmark in the crease. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, not really,” I said, placing my journal back on the shelf with the other ones I have filled. I felt his arms wrap around my waist. I blushed at this and turned around to face him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Then why don’t we just sit and talk then?” He asked me back over to my bed. He pulled the covers back and entered them before gently pulling me in beside him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sure, how was your day today?” I asked before he smiled.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, why don’t we hear about yours and then we can talk about mine,” He made me smile. He is the only person I know that if I tell him about my day first and it wasn’t that good, he will still be honest about his day and how he is feeling. It makes me feel special to him, because I want to have someone like that...and I do even if I’m the only one who sees him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“My day has been a decent day, other than being ignored…” I said with a sigh as I felt some tears come into my eyes again. Kokichi just moved closer to me so his head was in my chest.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I get that, I hate that people always do that to you, because you have a lot of things you want to say,” He said into my chest making me giggle a bit at the vibration his voice created against my skin.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Me as well,” I said before looking down at him. “So, how was your day today?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ah, for me? It was boring people were just saying the same dumb things over and over again...making me feel terrible for being gay and shit, but knowing I would be able to see you today made that all go away~” He said making me blush.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m glad that you look forward to talking to me,” I said feeling my heartbeat quicken slightly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You know I love you~,” He said before he yawned. I smiled before I reached over him to turn off the lamp. The fan was blowing quietly in the window making it feel calm even if it was blowing in the background. I looked back down at Kokichi and noticed he was already asleep.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Goodnight, Kokichi,” I paused before kissing his forehead making him smile.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thank you for listening,”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>So many words are left unsaid</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>As they all waste away in the back of my head</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I wish I was no longer with you some days </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Because you only care if I could be dead</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>So please hear my plea</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Listen to the words I say</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Because even though they mean nothing to you</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>They mean more than anything to me.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>So please listen</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Please listen to me when I speak</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Please listen to these silent pains</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Please listen when I am shamed</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Please be the one to listen</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Please be the one to stay</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Be the one who goes against the rules</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Be the one that wants me </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Wants me</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Be the one who hears me</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Hears me</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Even when the others only have to care</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Even when the others are ignorant</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Please be the one to be here for me</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Even if it’s just in my own personal dream</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>…</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>-Sorry for the angst. I just didn’t know how to show these emotions in any other way. Know that I love listening to others and hearing their worries and fears and being able to be the one to show that I genuinely care...but know sometimes it’s good to speak your mind. Thank you all so much for reading!-</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>-ShuichiOuma010-</em>
  </b>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0102"><h2>102. Savory {Fluff}</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>A nice savory meal to eat with a loved one, steak, roast, and rice with kimchi on top. It’s all delicious and makes me feel happy. I love trying new foods all over the world. They all have very distinct flavors, but today I get to go to America to try their finest foods. I was almost shaking in the car because of how excited I was. I love being able to see all the sights and hear all the sounds, but being able to have a good meal and meet some new people makes it all worth it. My mother being a popular actor makes this all possible, sure I barely see either of my parents, but I’m glad that I’m able to go around the world to make new friends.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Saihara, this is where you wanted to be dropped off correct?” He asked me as the car slowed to a stop. I looked out the windows and saw all the lights and decorations for the holiday called ‘Halloween’ I haven’t heard much about it but I do know that it is pretty big in this country. I saw the sign of a restaurant called Saichini Restaurant, and I knew just by looking at it that this was the one.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes, this is it! Thank you,” I said before leaving the car with my things. The person driving my father's limo left while I was staring at the Restaurant with a bubbling feeling of excitement washing through me. The restaurant had a theme of black and red and seemed a little Japanese styled. Which I don’t mind because Japanese cuisine is one of my preferred ones!</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I walked up the steps to the main entrance and opened the door. The smell of fresh rice and meat came into my senses as I walked inside. It was a little chilly outside so coming into a nice and warm restaurant makes me feel more homey. I walked up to the main desk and saw a short male running the counter. He looked up at me and I felt a blush come to my cheeks. Cute.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hello! Welcome to Saichini Restaurant! How many?” He asked, making me move my hand to put it in my pocket. After shuffling through it for a moment I found my wallet.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Just me,” I said before he typed something onto his computer. I stood there for a moment feeling awkward with the silence.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Alrighty!” He said with a smile before walking out from behind the counter to join me by my side. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Come this way!” He yelled back at me before I went to follow him. He was shorter than me and it made me feel a little proud of myself...but I wasn’t really sure why--because a lot of people in the room are shorter than me, so why with him is it-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Here is your table!” He smiled and pulled the seat out for me. I blushed and took the seat before he pushed it in a little. He stood beside the table and smiled at me.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What’s the name for you pretty stranger?” He said with a wink. I felt the heat on my cheeks increase from this as I stuttered out a reply.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“S-Shuichi Sa-Saihara,” I said looking down at my hands before I heard him giggle a bit.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s such a pretty name for such a pretty face~,” He said teasingly before another worker walked beside him. He was also taller than him and had green hair with a lot of piercings on both of his ears.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Kokichi, jesus christ...stop tormenting the customers,” He said, ruffling his hair, making him huff and move away from him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Fine Rantaro-Chan~ you don’t need to be such a party pooper~,” Kokichi said teasingly again before Rantaro left the both of us with a sigh. I could tell by the look on his face that this wasn’t the first time this has happened.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Anyway~ what can I get you tonight?” He asked with a smile. I looked down at the menu and couldn’t decide between any of the options…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m not sure-” I said before he cut me off.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You don’t seem like you are from here,” He stated matter of factly. I blushed and looked over at him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes...I’m from Japan, but I love to travel.” I said feeling embarrassed from having to admit that. He put his hand to his chin before he held it out to me.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m from there as well! I just came here because one of my friends wanted me to help his family's restaurant--so, here I am!” He said with a smile coming to his cheeks again as his eyes closed for a moment.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s cool!” I said making him sit at the chair across from me. I blushed at this action but didn’t say anything.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I have heard the name Saihara before--wait.” He paused before he looked at me like he was analysing me. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ah, what are you-” I started only to be cut off by his eyes going wide.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You are part of the Saihara family! The famous actor and director's son!” He said with a look like he was able to solve a puzzle. I laughed a bit at his reaction.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yup that’s me...I just like traveling, but I have been thinking of finding a place to stay at. Because honestly traveling all the time makes me feel-” Lonely. I didn’t finish the statement but Kokichi seemed to hear it anyway.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Rantaro was the same way, well, that was before he settled down here to help with the restaurant!” He said moving back to stand next to the table.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“The special for today is pretty good and I’ll even give you something extra ok~?” He said moving topics. I blushed at the request, and felt too embarrassed to answer so I just nodded at him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Alrighty then! Be back in a sec!” He said with a smile before disappearing into the crowds of people. I smiled looking down at my phone. I opened my photos app and looked through the pictures that me and past friends have taken on my travels. But honestly...I just want to be able to feel at home somewhere so I don’t have to move around all the time. I closed my phone and put my hand to my chin.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>What if I stayed here?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>No, what are you thinking Shuichi? What would you get out of staying here? What about your freedom to travel the world?--no, that all doesn’t matter. Life is about discovery and life will always have new mysteries for us to solve regardless of where we are!</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I put my phone back in my pocket before Kokichi returned. “Here you go!” He said placing a plate with meat, veggies, and some rice and noodles. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ah, thank you!” I said before he gave me a smile and handed me a sheet of paper. It was a small sheet and looked like it was torn out from his notepad. I looked back up at him to be met with a smile.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“The restaurant is always low on staff, so if you ever wanted to work here then you are welcome to!” He said with a smile as I opened the paper. It had two phone numbers, one for the restaurant and his own phone number.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I gave you mine because I want to get to know you better if you would like that!” He said before leaving into the crowd before I could respond.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Living here...maybe this could be the adventure I was waiting for.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>-Here is the end of today's oneshot! And sorry but the daily updates for Vampire Kisses will be starting tomorrow instead of today! Thank you for being so patient with me! And thank you all so much for reading!!-</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>-Saichi Kohana-</em>
  </b>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0103"><h2>103. Scared? [Halloween Special] {Fluff/Angst}</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>Kichi: So we are going to all watch a movie together today right~?</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Shuichi: I’ll be there!</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Rantaro: I’m going to go trick or treating with my sisters...sorry</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Kaede: Yeah, I’m going with Rantaro! Sorry!</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Shuichi: That’s alright!</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Kaito: Me and Maki are going to be somewhere else as well!</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Shuichi: Ah, okay!</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Tsumugi: Ah- I have a cosplay thing and Gonta, Tenko, Angie, Himiko, and Kirumi are coming with me...Have fun!</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Kichi: Eh? You’re all bailing?!</b>
  <b>
    <br/>
    <br/>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>Shuichi: I’m still coming you know-</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Kichi: Aww so romantic Shu~!</b>
  <b>
    <br/>
    <br/>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>Shuichi: That’s not what I meant!</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Kichi: Sure Romeo~</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Rantaro: Stop flirting love birds</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Kichi: Party Pooper!</b>
  <b>
    <br/>
    <br/>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>Kaede: Well you have fun with Kokichi, Shuichi!</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Rantaro: Yeah! Sorry little dude!</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Kichi: Jesus I’m not that small RanRan-Chan~!</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Rantaro: Alright! Alright, I got that!</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Kichi: Nishishi~</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Shuichi shut off his phone and put it back in his pocket. ‘Damn it Kaede...I thought you weren’t being serious about setting me and Kokichi up on Halloween’ Shuichi thought to himself as he sighed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Guess it’s just going to be me and Kokichi then…” He whispered feeling his face getting hotter. It’s not that he didn’t want to be there alone with Kokichi or anything...he was just worried that he would make it awkward because of his feelings towards him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Shuichi was already ready to leave for Kokichi’s house, but because of how nervous he was feeling he didn’t end up leaving until it was time for their planned time to start which was at 22:00, so he left around 22:01. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He drove in his car to Kokichi’s house. His house wasn’t far from his own, but because of how nervous he felt...it didn’t help much by making the ride seem a lot longer and a lot more stressful than it already was.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Shuichi wasn’t super fond of Halloween, but Kokichi seemed to like it quite a lot. Shuichi found this painfully adorable, and hated how flustered it made him that Kokichi was so excited about the holiday. Shuichi was wearing a detective costume...because he knew better than anyone that Kokichi was going to be in costume. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was a grey and black detective outfit with a small hat and coat. He felt a little embarrassed wearing this kind of outfit, but it made him feel a little better knowing Kokichi was also going to be in costume.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He pulled up to the front of his house and parked in the driveway. There was no reason to park on the side of the road because no one else was going to be there other than the two of them. Shuichi felt a blush come to his face, partially because of the chill of the wind, and partially because he knew him and Kokichi were going to be alone together.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He shook his head before he knocked on the door. After his hand hit the door twice he was met with Kokichi who was on the other side of the door. He was wearing an outfit that Shuichi noticed from a popular movie series called the Thief of Lies. It was a good movie series and it made him blush more that Kokichi was dressed as a Phantom Thief while he was a detective...knowing that in the movie series the detective and Thief of Lies eventually end up together. Despite all the hate they got from being opposites as well as being a gay couple.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Heya Shu~Chan~!” He exclaimed, holding the door open for Shuichi to come in. “Come in! Don’t stay out in the cold!” He said again with a small laugh. This whole thing was making Shuichi even more flustered than he already was…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“H-Hey,” I said quietly as Shuichi walked into his house. It seemed really empty. Shuichi was a little confused how empty the house was, because usually the members of his prank group DICE would always be around here because they were so close. This made him even more embarrassed. ‘Did they know about Kaede’s plan as well?’ He asked himself before Kokichi tapped him on the shoulder.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey, do you want to come downstairs to watch a movie Shumai~?” He teased holding out a movie for them to watch. Shuichi looked over the case and it seemed like a scary movie for sure. He wasn’t positive what it was about, but it was being advertised all over the place as the must see scary movie...but is it really? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, sorry,” He mumbled before Kokichi took his hand and pulled him down into the lower room. The room was already ready for watching a movie. There was a couch and chairs with blankets on the arms as well as lying over the back of them. Shuichi frowned a bit knowing he must have prepared and planned for everyone to come...only for Kaede to make this whole plan about them being together on his favorite Holiday.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Shu~ Don’t tell me you're bummed about everyone bailing,” Kokichi said, giving him a side glance. This caused him to blush more.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“N-no...sorry, I just wish they would have been able to make it is all,” He said quietly making Kokichi shrug.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, it’s their own loss then!” He said with another laugh. Shuichi moved over to sit on the couch and Kokichi soon followed after Kokichi put the movie into the dvd player. He was sitting close to Shuichi, close enough where their arms were touching. This action made Shuichi’s heartbeat faster. ‘Fuck…’ He thought to himself trying to calm down.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Nishishi~ Shuichi are you scared already?” Kokichi asked with a smirk. Shuichi flinched at his words, but ended up just covering his mouth with his hand. “No…” He mumbled again before the movie started.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Shuichi watched the movie and it was about the usual horror movie, people getting killed by something else in a way that made the movie terrifying. Shuichi was used to having to read about the terrible things people had done to others so this kind of horror didn’t scare him much, but some of the sound effects and deaths made it a little chilling to his core.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After a while of watching, Kokichi grabbed Shuichi’s hand. Shuichi was confused and went to ask Kokichi what was going on and why he did that, but when he looked over...Kokichi’s eyes were wide and he looked genuinely scared of the movie. Shuichi was surprised by this because Kokichi was more of a confident and joking kind of person...but maybe this is reminding him of something, or maybe he is just scared?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Shuichi gave his hand a small squeeze before Kokichi pulled his hand away. “Sorry for grabbing your hand Shumai!” He said as the movie came to a close. Shuichi could tell by his tone that he was afraid...but he was wondering why he seemed to be trying so hard to hide this fact.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you scared Kokichi?” He asked without thinking. Kokichi flinched at his words before quickly responding. “N-no! Supreme Leaders don’t get scared!” He said getting up from the couch to go upstairs but Shuichi grabbed his hand.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s okay if you’re scared you know,” He said quietly, making Kokichi turn around to face him. Kokichi seemed to think about his words for a moment.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m not scared silly Shumai!” He said, giving Shuichi’s cheek a poke. Shuichi blushed at this before Kokichi motioned to the door. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, it’s getting late dontcha think?” He asked looking over at the clock. It was getting late...it was already 00:00 so it was already midnight...Shuichi gave him a small smile before he said goodbye before Kokichi closed the door. Shuichi was more than confused. Did he say something wrong?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>About an hour later Shuichi heard a knock on his door. He was asleep in his bed, but he woke up after hearing this knock. ‘Who could be at the door at this time?’ He asked himself as he answered the door while still in his pajamas.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He was surprised when he saw Kokichi standing outside soaking wet. He noticed that it was still raining pretty badly outside. “Kokichi what are you doing outside?” Shuichi asked before pulling him inside and turning the light on. Kokichi just shivered and held his arms. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What were you doing outside?” He asked again. Kokichi slowly shivered as Shuichi got him a blanket and wrapped it around him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thanks” He said through his chattering teeth. Shuichi sat next to him on the couch and wrapped his arms around him to try to warm him up. He was absolutely freezing...Shuichi was getting worried. Why would he have been out so late, especially in the rain.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sorry for coming so late,” He said looking away from Shuichi. Shuichi gently held a hand against his forehead with a sigh. “You’re scared aren’t you?” He asked again. Kokichi was going to deny it again, but at this point it was no use.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes.” He said bitterly as if he didn’t want to admit the fact that he was afraid. “It’s okay to be scared...we didn’t have to watch that movie you know.” He said with a sigh before he slowly got up off the couch helping Kokichi up as well.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I think it would be best if you just stayed the night.” He said quietly before Kokichi nodded. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Here you can go take a shower to warm you up and I’ll go and get you some clothes.” Shuichi said before pointing over to the bathroom. Kokichi smiled a bit, but shakily grabbed his arm before he could leave.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Please don’t leave me alone.” He said before Shuichi smiled softly. “Sorry, I forgot…” He whispered before wrapping his arms around him again. “Here you can come with me to get some clothes then,” Shuichi said before holding his shoulders and leading him to his room.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kokichi stayed silent and didn’t say anything else as Shuichi grabbed him some clothes to change into, as he took a shower with Shuichi waiting for him in the hall per his request, and even after he got out. Shuichi was concerned because of the way he was acting...but he was also glad that Kokichi came to him because he was scared...even if it was in the middle of the night.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You can sleep on my bed if you want, I can stay on the floor so you don’t have to be alone,” He said gesturing to his bed before Kokichi shook his head. “Do you not want-” He started only to be cut off by Kokichi.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Can you stay with me.” He said covering his eyes with his hair. Shuichi was slowly piecing together how nervous this was making Kokichi...so he didn’t ask any other questions as he got into his bed before offering the spot next to him to Kokichi. Kokichi gladly took the spot and moved next to Shuichi. He was warm front he shower and was feeling more warm because of how he finally felt safe.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Goodnight Kokichi,” Shuichi whispered before Kokichi let his eyes slide closed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Maybe sometimes it’s okay to admit you are afraid.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>-Here is the Halloween Special! Halloween is my favorite holiday and I wish I could have done some art for it...but today was pretty weird because my head and body have felt so out of place, but I’m glad I was able to get this done! I hope you all enjoyed this!!-</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>-Saichi Kohana-</em>
  </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Also added side note, I may start a twitch channel to do some story ideas and just maybe do some storytimes and art...but I’m not sure...anyway! Feel free to send me suggestions about what content you would like to see on my account!!</em>
  </b>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0104"><h2>104. Jenny {Fluff} [SongFic]</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>
    <em>Jenny, darling, you're my best friend</em>
  </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I like having friends. Hanging out, going to parties, laughing my ass off when one of them cracks a joke. I have a lot of friends, mostly because some of them are very social people and know a lot of people. So, they consider me their friends. I don't really know what else to say to this. I like having people to talk to don't get me wrong, but sadly I don't have what I want.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>But there's a few things that you don't know of</em>
  </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I met this one guy at a party a little while ago. He was short and very outgoing. I felt a little shrunk in the corner before he came over to me. He had a bright smile and a cute laugh I already felt myself being pulled in. Kaito and Kaede gave me worried looks as he grabbed my hand and pulled me out to the dance floor. I was confused by this before I looked over into his eyes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Hiya!" He said in a tone that sounded familiar. Wait a minute...what is that voice?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Do you remember me?" He asked with a teasing tone making me blush. So, he knows me and I know him...hmm. Where would I have met him before? Well, it would make sense why Kaito and Kaede gave those knowing looks, did me and this guy have a bad relationship before?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Ah, I have heard your voice before...what's your name?" I asked feeling my voice coming out a little quieter as the music was loud.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I can't hear you!" He yelled over the music before he grabbed my hand. "Follow me~!" He smiled making my worry and concern fade back into the background of my thoughts..</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"What?" I asked as he opened one of the side doors and quickly pulled me outside. I gasped at this because of how quiet it was after the door closed. He moved In front of me as I caught my breath.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Kokichi," He said holding out his hand. I looked down at him confused before it came back to me.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Why I borrow your lipstick so often</em>
  </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Kokichi Oma!" He said putting his arms behind his head. I blushed and felt even more confused.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"What?" I asked making him drop his hands to his sides.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"It's my name silly! You wanted it didn't you?" He asked putting his finger over his lips. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Y-yeah, sorry," I looked down at my hands before he sighed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Just don't wear it out okay~?" He said one more time before he left out of my line of sight.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Kokichi Oma..." I looked after him feeling a little in awe. It was a little cold that night...but somehow him being there for that small moment made me warm.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>I'm using your shirt as a pillowcase</em>
  </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I looked down at him feeling myself come back into reality.  "Hey, look at me!" Kokichi said poking my cheek.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Ah!" I gasped stumbling back a little bit. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Didn't mean to scare you~, you are still so jumpy Shumi~," He said making my cheeks heat up.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"W-what did you call me?" I asked putting a hand to my cheek. I silently cursed at myself as I felt how warm my cheeks had become.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Well Shushu, I thought you would remember how much I love to mess with you~! Nishishi~" He said making me tilt my head a bit.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"That's a lie isn't it?" I asked remembering how he was known by all my friends and a liar, and Kaito added that he was also a coward because of this...but I chose to forget that part.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>I wanna ruin our friendship</em>
  </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Ah you know me so well Shuichi~," He said grabbing my hand in his own.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"But, I can't stay here forever Shu~ I have some things I need to get done~," He said poking my cheek before he turned on his heel and walked away.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Ko-Kokichi Wait!" I said but it was lost in the darkness of the outside. Feeling discouraged I walked back into the party. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kaito and Kaede just gave me a knowing look before they approached me.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"So what did he do?" Kaito asked giving the door a glare. I raised my hands defensively. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"He didn't do anything, we just had a conversation," I said quietly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"You need to speak up Shuichi!" Kaito said giving my back a pat. I jumped a bit at this before nervously laughing.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>We should be lovers instead</em>
  </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Yeah, sorry!" I yelled over the music-making him laugh a bit.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"So what did you say?" He asked as Kaede gave me an apologetic look.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I just said we had a conversation, and that he didn't *do* anything to me," I said putting an emphasis on the do. Kaito just moved his hand to the back of his neck.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Alright! But know if he did something to you, I'm going to punch him!" He said with a loud voice making my head hurt a bit.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Ah, thank you Kaito," I said before my phone buzzed. I looked up at the two of them and they shrugged before I pulled out my phone.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There was a message from Kokichi, I could tell it was him because of the content of the message.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Heya Shuichi! Rantaro gave me your number~</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I sighed to myself as I felt my face heat up again. "Guys it's getting late, so I'm going to go," I said before they both waved to me before I left the party.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>...</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>I don't know how to say this</em>
  </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I went to my apartment and it was empty as it usually would be. It just made it more apparent how alone I felt. Like I wanted to have someone here with me...and I knew exactly who I wanted it to be.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kokichi Oma...god I wish things were different. I wish he would notice me as I always seem to notice him. My friends don't know about these painful feelings I have for him. I kinda wish I didn't have to admit it...but I'm in love with my best friend.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sure we haven't seen each other in years, but that doesn't mean my feelings are any different. We were the best of friends in the past up until Kaito claimed that I was his sidekick making the two of us drift apart.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I missed being able to be by his side and how we used to be able to just call each other whenever. But now it seems like that kind of behavior would be out of place...</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Ring</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Ring</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I looked down at my phone that was in my hand. It was buzzing like someone was calling me--I looked at the caller ID and it was none other than Kokichi. It was so late at night, so why would he be calling me now?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Cause you're really my dearest friend</em>
  </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Heya Shu~," He said into the phone making the heat in my cheeks return. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Hey Kokichi," I said feeling a little awkward talking to him after all this time. Well, it has only been a few years but it seems like so much has changed between the two of them. I have a job now and I live on my own...the last time me and Kokichi had talked to one another like we were friends was the last year I went to college. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"How have you been?" He asked in his usual chirpy tone.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I have been alright," I said pausing for a moment. I didn't want to have to admit how I wasn't exactly feeling great at the moment. "How about you?" I added making him hum on his side of the line.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I have been doing decent~ I mean Rantaro finally made me get a job so it's not just Kaito and him making all the money in the house...but I mean getting a job means I'm taking a step toward adulthood!" He almost sang into the phone. I laughed a little at this. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I thought you were an adult already? Aren't you 21?" I asked into the phone. I remember celebrating his birthday a couple years ago and I believe he is about half a year younger than me...so knowing I just turned 22 he must still be 21.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Well~ while that is true~ I haven't been doing many adult things after dropping out of college~," He said making me gasp a bit. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Wait you dropped out?" I asked making him go quiet. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Yeah~ school was so boring without you there! And Kaito was always giving me shit about how my grades should be higher and some other shit," He said with a small sigh. I could tell he was still frustrated with the whole thing with his brother. I always found it so funny how Kaito and Kokichi had been brothers for the longest time and I never knew. Sure they are step bothers, but still. They always made it seem like they weren't related--and they kind of hate each other, so it was pretty surprising to me.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"That sounds pretty stressful," I said with a small laugh. "Well yeah~ Kaito is such a part pooper~," He said over the phone as I laid down on my bed looking down at my screen. It illuminated with his number on the screen. I decided to change it to a picture of me and Kokichi from a couple years ago. It was at a party that Kokichi invited me to that Rantaro was running for one of his sisters. He could take a plus one so he chose me. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Jenny, darling, you're my best friend</em>
  </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Over the course of the next couple of weeks me and Kokichi had become better friends. It was a nice experience to becoming friends again. He would invite me to hangout whenever I didn't have work. It was mostly going to the park, a cafe, or even the library. Although Kokichi claims he hates the library I can tell everytime we go there he gets excited.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I let him borrow one of my copies of a phantom thief story. It was the first in the series but was one of my favorite books to read. Especially because it is one of the only romance stories I actually enjoy reading.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Most of my friends already have a significant other, and some are even married. It's not that I'm not happy for them, I just don't see the point of letting another person get close to you just to have them know everything about you. I mean isn't that what a best friend is supposed to be? Besides the kissing and most of the intimate things lovers do.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I was sitting on the small couch in my apartment on a Sunday morning. Nothing was scheduled for today so I decided to read a book on my couch. I enjoyed doing this because of how calming it was to just sit on the couch, hear the soft sounds of the fan, while reading a good book that made you feel excited to turn to the next page.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I was so consumed in my thoughts that I didn't notice someone knocked on my door. I only noticed this when my lock slid open making me panic. Is someone going to break in?! Why would they break in today of all days--it's one of the only days I'm actually home.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Heya Shu~," Kokichi said opening the door. I blushed as he entered my apartment.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Kokichi? what are you doing here?" I asked slowly putting my bookmark in my book as I looked up at him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Well," He put a hand to his chin. "Is it illegal for me to want to hangout with you?" He asked fake tears building up in his eyes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"No it isn't!" I said putting my hands up as I got up off the couch. "It's just that breaking into my apartment could be...you could have made the neighbors worry.." I said putting a hand to my forehead.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>I've been doing bad things that you don't know about</em>
  </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I came in because you one, weren't answering your phone, and two," He held up a finger with each of the reasons he had. "you didn't answer even though I kept knocking on your door!" He put his hands up into his hair before pulling at it for a moment.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Sorry I was reading and I wasn't paying attention," I looked to the side before he moved onto the couch to lay down. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Then this is your punisment~," He cooed from the couch before he sat up. I tilted my head a bit. "Wh-what?" I asked not knowing what to do with myself. I felt awkward and wanted to walk away from the situation while at the same time I wanted to figure out what he meant by that.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"You heard what I said~," He said giving me a wink.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Why all of a sudden-" I started before he got up and pushed me onto the couch. I gasped a bit at this and my hand grabbed onto the front of his shirt because of my fear of falling. He smiled at this.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Well, well, well," He paused and moved closer to me making my face inflame. "What did you think I was going to do to you?" He asked before he sat down next to me. I relaxed a bit, but still felt painfully embarrassed about his teasing and the effect it had on my heart.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Stealing your stuff now and then</em>
  </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I'm not sure," I said before the room went quiet for another moment. This was before Kokichi groaned and put his head on the back of the couch.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"What's wrong?" I asked before he moved his hands to cover his eyes. "Rantaro and his girlfriend are going on a date and--I told him I had a boyfriend and that I would be there...so Shuichi," He whispered before he moved to face me on the couch.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Would you be my date?" He asked making my heart burst. "Y-yes," I said sounding more enthusiastic than I meant to sound.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Great!" He said with his laugh, "Nishishi"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"So that's why you came over here?" I asked with a smile. He looked to the side before he shook his head a few times. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Yuppers!" He poked the tip of my nose before he walked over to sit on one of the stools in the kitchen area. "So, you better get dressed and ready Shuichi! You only have 30 minutes!" He said with a laugh.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It's so like Kokichi to do things like this totally out of the blue, but I can't say that I hate when this happens.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I noticed the jacket Kokichi was wearing was the one I gave him a while back, so I decided to wear the one I stole from him a long time ago. It was one of his oversized gaming jackets. It had images of the game series called danganronpa on the sleeves and back while the front of the jacket and the cuffs where a dark purple color.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Ah I remember that jacket!" He said wrapping an arm around my shoulder. I blushed at this before saying, "S-sorry, I can give it back if you want," He laughed at this and put his hand on my hair.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"You can keep it Shuichi! It looks better on you anyway!" He said with a smirk. I felt relieved at this and felt more confident about wearing the jacket to our date.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Nothing you'd miss but it means the world to me</em>
  </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There are some other items that I ended up taking from him because I wanted to be able to have little things that reminded me of him so I could feel like he was with me in little ways. I could tell that Kokichi had done the same with some of my pencils and other items that just up and went missing while we were in school together--only to see him using them days later.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I felt like I was weird for feeling this way about someone that I considered my best friend...but honestly, I don't know what this is. I told Kaede about these feelings while we were in school together and she told me I had a crush on him. I was in denial about this for a long time before we weren't together as best friends anymore...then I realized how much I missed him...how much I needed him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>I wanna ruin our friendship</em>
  </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Best to get going before Rantaro leaves without us," He said taking my hand in his own. I felt so nervous about this because of the context of him doing it. We have held hands before, but knowing we were going on a date and he was holding my hand because of this, it made me feel happy.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Yeah," I said in return as I walked out of my apartment with him. I made sure to have my keys in my pocket as well as locking the door behind us. I was about to ask Kokichi where the date was going to be before he started talking.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I don't know if you know why Rantaro's girlfriend is, or that he even had one in the first place...but" He started before he cut himself off. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I mean you are my best friend so I'm sure we are going to have a good time!" He smiled at me making me feel even more worried about this...Is Rantaro going to find out that me and Kokichi aren't actually dating?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>We should be lovers instead</em>
  </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Hey Kokichi!" Rantaro called out from inside the cafe before Kokichi rushed in while still holding onto my hand.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Hello Rantaro!" He said letting my hand fall so he could give Rantaro a hug. I'm assuming they do this sometimes...but I can't help but feel jealous about it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"So, Shuichi is your boyfriend?" He asked sounding skeptical.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Yuppers~ my beloved Shu-Chan is my boyfriend~" He said putting his arms out in front of me for effect. All I could do is blush and cover my face with my hand.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Alrighty!" He said moving over with his date. She was a pretty girl and she had her silver hair up into a messy side bun. Her outfit looked comfortable as well as having the colors of light pink and blue blending well together. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>I don't know how to say this</em>
  </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Hey my name is Treina, but you can call me Trey," She held out her hand for me to shake before Kokichi butted in.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Hey, what about me?" He said in a whiny tone to which the girl rolled her eyes. "Okay Kokichi," He said patting him on the head.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Hey!" He gasped backing away toward me as she laughed. We all moved over to our table and sat down next to our dates. I still felt nervous about Kokichi saying that I'm his boyfriend...maybe it's because I want to be something more with him...I want to hold him like lovers do in the movies and hold hands in the dark when it's a moment when we are alone and I-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I never got your name," She said after the laugher died down. I blushed at her interrupting my thoughts but was glad she did. Who knows where that could have ended up?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>'Cause you're really my dearest friend</em>
  </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I-I'm Shuichi, Shuichi Saihara," I said giving her a smile. She smiled back before moving her gaze over to Kokichi.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I would have expected you to have a more obnoxious date," She said bluntly making him build up some fake tears in his eyes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Why are you so mean to me?" He gasped moving to cry on my shoulder. I put a hand to my forehead before I turned to him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>I wanna ruin our friendship</em>
  </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Shu?" He asked as I grabbed a hold of his shoulders and made him face me. He looked confused and still had some of his fake tears coming out of his eyes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I mean Shuichi seems so calm and collected while you are---definately something else," She said to Rantaro making him chuckle a bit while she laughed under her breath.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"That's not nice!" He said looking over to Trey. She just shrugged her shoulders and looked over at Rantaro who shared a knowing look. Is something going on with them? Did I say something wrong...wait. Do they know that me and Kokichi aren't actually dating?!</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"You and I both know that you are a little out of control sometimes," She said with a teasing glint in her eye. Is she trying to make him agitated?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>I don't know how to say this</em>
  </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Well, you aren't very nice with how blunt you are!" He said back making her brow furrow. Rantaro put his hand on her cheek and calmed her down.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Calm down...Jesus." Rantaro said before Kokichi slouched back into his seat. Did her words really offend him that much? Rantaro a few moments after I looked over at Kokichi gave me a wink making me blush. What the hell?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Hello, what would you all like to order?" The waitress said coming over to our table. We all told her what we were eating--except Kokichi refused to talk so I just ordered him something along with mine so we could just share.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I know what he likes to eat better than most people. So I got him a sandwich without the crust as well as a small cake. He loves sweets and adores anything grape--which is funny considering his hair color and how Kaito and Rantaro sometimes call him 'little grape'</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Shuichi?" Kokichi muttered under his breath. I turned to face him as Rantaro and Trey were having their own conversation. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Kokichi what's going on?" I asked quietly so the others didn't hear me. Kokichi seemed to perk up at this before he slumped in his chair.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I don't know," He said a little more cold. I shivered at the response I got before they brought the food to the table.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>'Cause you're really my dearest friend</em>
  </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Hey, Trey you don't have to feed me you know..." Rantaro sighed looking to the side with a small blush coming to his cheeks.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Well, I guess, but it's funnier this way," She said with a teasing tone. "It's funnier this way she says," Rantaro said before she shoved another bite into his mouth.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Kokichi," I said looking back over to him. He had barely even touched any of his food. Is he really still mad about earlier?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Jenny take my hand</em>
  </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Hey Shumai~," He said in his normal teasing tone after a few moments. I smiled a bit knowing he was back to being the fun-loving and somewhat childish Kokichi I knew so well.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Hey," I said gently cupping his cheek in my hand.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>'Cause we are more than friends</em>
  </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I didn't know what my mind was doing, but his face was coming closer to mine. My brain was screaming at me to stop for me to pull away, but there was something in the air that was making me feel more confident all of a sudden.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>I will follow you until the end</em>
  </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I know it bothered you earlier, know that you are the only one I want to see," I said in a slightly deeper voice. Kokichi seemed a little shocked by this before he put his hands on my chest and traced a circle on my chest with one of his hands.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Seems like Mr. Shy has finally become more confident hmm?" He said making me feel a little frustrated that I was trying so hard and he was moving farther away from me. This is just a joke date right? Then why do I feel like he wants this as well? Maybe it's just wishful thinking.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Jenny take my hand</em>
  </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I pulled away after planting a kiss on his cheek. This was because I felt way to nervous to plant one on his lips now. I mean after that display I'm certain some people were staring...and Kokichi doesn't even seem phased by it. It's probably because his heart isn't going crazy like mine is now.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Look at you two! You are so super cute!" Trey said making me remember that there were other people with us. I had nearly forgotten that they were here. But a small part of me wanted for me and Kokichi to be here alone.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Oh stop it!~," Kokichi said with his same teasing tone. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"But you are! Right Ran?" She said making Rantaro blush a bit. "I told you not to call me that in public..." He whispered before she asked again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Right?" She said gesturing to the two of us. Rantaro smirked and leaned over to pat Kokichi on the head.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Look at you getting a job and getting a boyfriend in the same week! I just hope you aren't using him Kich because you remember how that turned out," He said the last part under his breath making me wonder what must have happened before.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>I cannot pretend</em>
  </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I looked over at Kokichi who sat up defensively. "I know! Jeez," He said looking to the side before Rantaro sighed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Just know that if you are using him--that it could turn out he has real feelings for you," He said making me flinch. Does he know? Does he know about my feelings for Kokichi? God fucking damnit...of course he would know! It's so obvious...I'm such a stupid and anxious emo...I hate it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Why I never like your new boyfriends</em>
  </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"He wasn't even worth it! He just wanted to have sex and then leave me anyway," He said taking a drink out of his cup before placing it back on the table. Rantaro hummed a bit in response before I turned to Kokichi.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"What happened?" I asked looking him in the eyes. He looked me in the eyes for a moment, as if he was debating about something in his head. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"It was just a dumbass boy who wanted to just use me as an experiment to see if he wanted to be gay..." He said with a cold tone. He was bitter about it...and I'm sure that's why he is probably hesitant to get into another relationship after something like that.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Ah, I'm so sorry..." I paused putting my arm around his shoulders just so he could flinch away from me.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I didn't know," I said moving back into my spot feeling guilty about the whole situation.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"It's alright! I just didn't mention it!" He said with another smile and a laugh. I could tell this one was more forced.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Oh, your love for them won't last long</em>
  </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I wonder about these things. Is Kokichi hiding more things from me? Maybe he knows about my feelings for him. But then why does he always tease me and play with my feelings like this. I clenched a hand around my shirt as I stood in the shower. The cafe date ended about 20 minutes ago...</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Me and Kokichi drove back to my apartment before I was an idiot and asked him about it again. He got angry and yelled at me before he left after slapping my cheek. It still hurt even though you couldn't see the mark anymore.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>...</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"You are just the same!"  He yelled looking angry.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"What? The same as what?" I asked feeling a little more defensive than I usually would.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"The same as the others! You just want to use me!" He said making me snap.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"Use you? I let you play with my heart and dance around with my feelings all the damn time so don't tell me how I use you!" I yelled back before he walked over to me. He looked up at me with angry tears in his eyes.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"What if it wasn't toying," His hand slapped against my cheek making my flinch before he left and slammed the door behind him.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>...</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Forget those amigos</em>
  </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I didn't even call him or text him after that. What am I even supposed to say...I made him have to remember some painful memories before making him have to deal with my yelling. If what he said was true...then that means he wasn't toying around with me...he wasn't lying about it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He wanted to go on a date with me and in that moment he was thinking we were actually dating the same as I was...why didn't I notice it sooner!</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Oh, your love for them won't last long</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I got out of the shower and got dressed. I quickly brushed my hair after mostly drying it with a towel. After that, I rushed out of my apartment going to Kaito's apartment.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I need to tell him how I feel!</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Forget those amigos</em>
  </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I ran out of my apartment building before dashing over to my car. I hopped into the driver's seat and started the car. I soon got out of the parking lot and started on my way to Kaito's apartment. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I have been there a few times when Kaito wanted to watch a movie night...but those times I was there Kokichi never even made an appearance and it always made me feel so sad...I never knew the reason then, but I know it now.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Forget those amigos</em>
  </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I got to their house and ran up to the front door and rang the doorbell. I know it was later in the day and they may even be sleeping...but I need to tell him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After a few long moments of waiting, Kaito answered the door. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Ah Shuichi," He said with a cold look on his face. My smile soon faded as he punched me in the cheek making me stagger back a bit.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>I wanna ruin our friendship</em>
  </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"You really think dating my brother is a good idea huh?" He asked getting even more defensive about it. I slowly shook my head slowly getting back up to face him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I'm not dating him," I sighed putting a hand to the back of my neck.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"You aren't?" Kaito asked looking at me with another glare.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>We should be lovers instead</em>
  </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Yes, he only wanted me to pretend to be his boyfriend today because Rantaro invited him to a double date..." I whispered feeling some tears come to my eyes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Then why did he come home crying? I don't see him cry much so that must mean you did something," He said still sounding very angry. I felt some tears start to fall down my cheeks before I looked back into his eyes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>I don't know how to say this</em>
  </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Well, I told him that I was done with him playing with my heart! I was done having to pretend we were just friends when I always felt like we were something more! I was so done having to deal with my loneliness and it made me act in such a way that I feel disgusted with myself!" I yelled making him go silent. I wiped some of my tears away before I walked back up to him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I just wanted to tell Kokichi that I'm sorry, and that I love him," I said turning my back to him before muttering, "I'm sorry to wake you up." </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>'Cause you're really my dearest friend</em>
  </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I almost got all the way to my car before Kaito spoke up. "Was that good enough for you Kokichi?" He asked making me blush. Kokichi?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Yeah, thanks Kaito!" He said leaving the house as I turned around to face him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"What?" I asked not knowing what else to say. He moved to where I was standing and wrapped his arms around my back.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I wanted you to admit that you liked me...but you never did and it made me feel frustrated with you." He said looking up at me with some tears in his eyes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I see now that this was a rude move on my part...I thought you knew I liked you...but you never said anything and I thought my feelings were one-sided," </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Oh, your love for them won't last long</em>
  </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"But I thought you were always just messing with me." I cut myself off before I returned his hug by wrapping my arms around his back.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Sorry I should have said something sooner," I whispered letting my last tears fall out of my eyes as I smiled.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>We should be lovers instead</em>
  </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I can't believe I made up this whole plan to go on a joke date with you when I really just could have asked you out," He sighed and moved out of the embrace for a moment.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Well I mean we can't all be smart all the time," I said before Kokichi turned to Kaito.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Isn't that right Kaito~," He said with a smirk. Kaito glared at him. "Well, you guys have fun, I'm going inside," He said with a glare at Kokichi before he smiled.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Oh, your love for them won't last long</em>
  </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kokichi looked back up and me and smiled. I knew this had been the moment I had been waiting for all day. The kiss. I didn't know how I was going to go about kissing him...but I'm sure it will come to me.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He moved his hand to the collar of my shirt before pulling me down to his level. His eyes were where mine was. We looked at each other and I swear I saw some stars in his eyes. He smiled up at me and moved closer so his lips were inching towards my own.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>'Cause you're really my dearest friend</em>
  </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His hands moved into my hair as his breath soon hit against my lips. Slowly warming my lips as my anxiety about the kiss seemed to skyrocket. I was so worried I was going to do something wrong. I felt so unprepared for this...</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>We should be lovers instead</em>
  </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"It's okay," Kokichi whispered as our lips were barely touching. "Just kiss me," He said before I moved my lips against his own.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>'Cause you're really my dearest friend</em>
  </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I felt my whole body shudder at the touch. Kokichi's hands went into my hair as I sighed against his lips. He just slowly moved his lips against mine in their own rhythm. I soon matched this rhythm so we were in sync.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Jenny</em>
  </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I pulled away after a moment of kissing and looked into his eyes. "Well, maybe some things are supposed to happen," I said with a small laugh before he added.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"You have no idea," And with that he kissed me again as the night covered us, protecting this moment for us and us alone.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>-I love this song so much! I hope you all enjoyed this oneshot!! Thank you all so much for reading!-</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>-SK-</em>
  </b>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0105"><h2>105. Spasms {Angst}</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>
    <em>T/W: Intense themes of depression, selfharm, suicide, hallucinations, loneliness, and fear</em>
  </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Trembling and sweating as I open my eyes. Is any of this real? Am I real? My hands were shaking so much as my body convulsed and trembled. I tried to look up only to see I wasn’t in the reality I knew, I was back in that place.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Stop!” I called out feeling breathless. I didn’t know if anyone was there, and I had no idea where I even was. I was in my house moments ago...but does that mean anything? I tried to retrace my mind back through the memories I had of the past few moments.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>All I could remember was the yelling playing back through my mind. Sure no one was yelling, it was just my mind screaming at me. I remember Shuichi was here with me for a moment before he wasn’t. Did I say something to make him leave me? I remember now! We were arguing, we were fighting because of something I said.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I said I wanted to be done...and he said he felt the same, maybe this was the time he told me about. One day he said, someone is going to show you love like none other, but then that same person will show you pain unlike any other.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I sighed and focused back in the moment. The room was dark and I could swear I could see someone sitting in the chair in the corner of the room. Dark and looming over me was the shadow from that person, the only problem was I couldn’t tell if that person was dead or alive--that was before it moved.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The shadow like person moved over to me quickly grabbing onto my hand. I struggled to move away but it was too fast for me and it pinned my hands above my head making it hard for me to move. Everything was constrained making me feel so trapped. I wanted to get away from this feeling...no matter what it took to get out, </span>
  <b>no matter what</b>
  <span>…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I struggled against the shadow before it faded away. I tried to move but felt this containing feeling come over my skin. Making my whole body feel like it was still trapped. Trapped in me. I felt my muscles convulse as I moved on the bed feeling tears come to my eyes. I don’t want to be trapped in this!</span>
  <span></span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <span>“M-make it go away!” I sobbed trying to lift my hands off where I was confined...but I was trapped even though nothing was holding me there. My skin felt like it was latching me to the bed making it hard for me to move--almost like I was stitched to it, restraining all my movement as more tears came out of my eyes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Please! Please! Please…” I gasped trying my hardest to move to get over to where my phone was lying...I need to call him. Even if he is mad at me I need to call him before...no. </span>
  <em>
    <span>You can’t call him, he doesn’t want you anymore, your rash actions earlier hurt him...so now it’s your turn</span>
  </em>
  <span>. I slowly moved up to stand before leaving the room. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There is no point in staying here anyway...no one cares, and they never will. They only care if they know that I’m going to be gone...but they only want to talk to me or want me here for the benefits and attention I give. I know how to make people laugh and have a good time...but that doesn’t mean I’m not hurting the whole time.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>My head hurts so much...</span>
  <b>I want this to go away!!</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I moved my hands to my hair and pulled. “Please make this end! I don’t want this anymore!” I screamed out hating how empty the house felt as I broke down. My whole body was shaking at this point. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I want OUT!” I yelled again. I moved my hands in front of me and watched them as they shook in the dark. You don’t deserve this…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Hit</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Hit</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Hit</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I don’t know how many times my fist met my skin, but by the end I felt so much pain, while at the same time I felt nothing at all. “Sure it hurts but…” I paused looking over at the wall where another shadow lay.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It would never hurt more than my head...and my heart” I said again moving over to the wall to grab a hold or something to hit myself with. Shuichi would be disappointed in me if I cut myself...so this is the only way to get what my body needs.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I want to tear my skin off,” I whispered, feeling the wall with my hand. I moved my fingers over the wall as if it was my hand skimming a pool of water. It just sat there waiting for something to fall in, like the deep blue that almost claimed me all those years ago. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t want to have to look at myself anymore! I’m trapped in this damn body!” I screamed again, pulling at my hair once more. I moved my hand to my wrist and dug my nails into the skin before dragging them up my arm. It wasn’t a scratch bad enough to the point it was bleeding...but it was enough to irritate the skin.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Earlier today I used the tube of a pen and dug it into my arm making circle like marks on my arm. I only made 5 but all this pain didn’t feel like enough...I wanted to take my skin off to make me feel okay, I want to take myself out of this! I need to get out!</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Make it stop!” I yelled again before hitting over the already forming bruises. I felt my whole body slump after this as I fell to the ground. “Is it over?” I asked hoping for nothing more than to just give in then and there.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Kokichi!” I heard someone call out as I was stopping my breathing. Letting the pain of not taking in air slowly take over me. That was before they pulled me up from where I was laying down on the floor and they wrapped their arms around me.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s okay baby, I’m sorry I shouldn’t have said those things…” Shuichi said, making me feel even more irritated. I pulled out of the embrace and faced him with tears coming to my eyes again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Now you’re sorry!?” I screamed, making his eyes widen. “Kokichi, I-” He started but I cut him off.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No! Don’t say a word!” I snapped back at him. “I don’t want to be trapped anymore! So let me escape already!” I cried out putting my fists into my eyes in an attempt to stop the tears.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Koki…” He whispered moving over to me. But I pushed him away again. “You want to hurt me again don’t you?” I said coldly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, I just want to help.” He said, making me even more agitated. “Help you say…” I said looking down at my hands that were starting to shake again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You don’t have to lie to me Shu!” I yelled again before the pain came back. “Mmh.” I whimpered trying to hold back my cries and groans. My back was on fire and all the scars that were on my arms felt like they were opening back up again. I felt more tears come down my cheeks and into my hands before I started falling to the floor. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Shuichi grabbed my hand before I fell and held me close to him as my body convulsed against him. Flinching and jerking my body to the sides as my fingers curled as my hands clenched and flinched at the pain I was feeling. I knew it was just a hallucination attack and I knew it was going to end soon...but that didn’t stop my body from spazzing out.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After a while of my body jerking around as Shuichi gently rubbed my shoulders. I felt exhausted and hurt. I didn’t even bother to move my body anymore. Shuichi moved me and him over to one of the couches in the room and I felt him slowly lean back.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I promise tomorrow will be better, I’ll be right here for you…” He whispered, making me feel guilty as my eyes closed. Because me and him both know that apology was one I definitely didn’t deserve.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>-I honestly do not understand how people always say they care about me then they all talk about how weird some other people are for acting in the ways I always act in alone. No one has ever seen me spas out and I’m going to keep it that way because I know for a fact when all the lights go out and when all is revealed they will judge me and make me take more pills to try to “fix me” So I’m done. I wanted to say that maybe it would be okay, and I know for a fact that others like how nice I am...but god I wish I had a friend like me, while at the same time, I wish I could see through with my own end. Know that I wish you all the best! And sorry for all this angst…-</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>-SK-</em>
  </b>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0106"><h2>106. Shuichi? {Angst}</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>
    <em>T/W There are intense themes of self-harm, self-loathing, depression, and suicide. This is a warning.</em>
  </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kokichi and Shuichi have gotten close over the past few weeks. Kaito and Maki as well as all the other students at the Ultimate Academy. They didn’t mind about the weird looks and some of the whispering that they were given from their relationship. Most of the others were able to piece together that the two males were dating, but some were unable to figure it out. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They had been spending a lot of time together in their labs, in the library, and in the courtyard. It didn’t matter much about where they were, all that mattered to them is if they were together. But over the past few days Shuichi has been easily agitated, and he just seems more angry all the time. Kokichi tried to ask him what was going on, but Shuichi never mentioned what was bothering him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kokichi felt left out and left Shuichi alone for a couple of days to give him some space, and now Shuichi was alone in his room in the middle of the night, crying his eyes out.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry Kokichi…” He whispered as he walked over to his bed. He put his hands on the sheets only to remove them moments later. “I don’t want to be here,” He said, feeling more tears come to his eyes. The urges that he had been fighting his whole life were starting to come back over the past few weeks, and just as he reacted when they first came, he pushed everyone close to him away so he could suffer alone.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He always seemed to be alone. At night that feeling always seemed to become more apparent, because during the day he was able to talk and be around the others. Hiding the fact of how scared he was of being alone. But at night, or what he liked to call the midnight hours, he felt so alone. He felt his entire frame shake as his body craved for the one thing he would do to get rid of this feeling.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He wanted to cut himself, or at least cause enough pain to distract him from this. But because of how much he loves Kokichi, and because of how much the others care about him, he knew that he wouldn’t be able to. This just made him feel even more depressed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He hated feeling trapped. If it was because of his responsibilities, his relationships, or even his situation, he hated feeling trapped. He would always make sure he had something to do, because he knew this would help him to be distracted from this feeling, but now that they are in this situation, there isn’t a lot he can do to always have something to occupy him. Hanging out with Kokichi and the others helped, but it didn’t change the fact of how trapped he felt.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Please,” He begged someone, he didn’t know who, but he wanted this to go away. The heaviness that came over his body, the screams of his thoughts, and the tears that didn’t seem to spot coming. “Please please please, take this away from me,” He cried into his hands. He moved them to pull at his hair as he bent over his bed. His hair was in his eyes and tears were staining the sheets under him, but he didn’t care. He was so consumed in his own feeling of despair and loneliness. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I want it! I need it! Please,” He begged again, moving his shaking hands to cover his eyes. “Please let me have it! I want it, I want it! I want it!” He screamed into his hands that were now moving to his upper arms. Piercing into his skin almost to the point where it would draw blood.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I want it,” He cried letting his body fall limp on the floor as he sobbed. The urge to cut himself was driving him crazy, and now he was contemplating whether or not he wanted to do it again. He looked over to the pen on his desk and frowned. “I can,” He said with a small smile walking over to the pen. It was a simple click pen, but what he was going to use it for didn’t matter what kind of pen it was. All he needed was the tube of the pen, without the ink or the tip, just the tube.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I can take this all away,” He said, taking the pen appart to get what he needed from it. He held the tube in his hand and looked at it for a moment before rolling up his sleeve. He looked at all the faded scars on his arm, he remembered when Kokichi noticed them one time they were in the library.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Shuichi, why didn’t you tell me?” He asked gently holding his arm in his hand. Shuichi looked to the side feeling embarrassed about it.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“It didn’t come up, so I didn’t think to mention it,” He said, feeling guilt come over his shoulders. Kokichi frowned at this and pulled him into a hug. He moved into Shuichi’s lap to wrap his arms around his shoulders. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Know you can come to me if something like this is bothering you,” He said with a small knowing smile. Shuichi felt confused about his smile, does he know? Has he done something like this to himself before? He thought, but didn’t bring it up because he didn’t want Kokichi to have to remember what could be painful to him.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Okay,” He said, feeling hesitant about the whole situation. He honestly felt like crying, but he felt so weak because of this. He hated crying and blushing in front of others, because it made him feel so weak. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Hey, do you want to go to my room to talk about it?” He asked with a serious look. Shuichi felt his breath catch at the thought. It would probably be good to be in a room with another person, especially if something like this is going through his head. Shuichi gave him a nod and helped him up.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Okay~,” He said with his usual smile. Shuichi tried to return the smile, but he didn’t want to have to. Because the feeling of guilt was so heavy on his shoulders.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He sighed to himself and put the top of the tube on his arm before twisting it into the skin. He winced a bit at this before his tears stopped and he looked blankly at his arm as the tube dug into his skin. There was some blood coming out from under the tube. He moved it away from his skin and looked at the circle indent on his skin that was now pooling up with blood.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He felt more tears come to his eyes, because the pain wasn’t enough, nothing was enough. He moved his hands back to his hair as his hands shook. “I don’t want to be here anymore!” He screamed again, not caring if anyone else heard him. He was honestly so done with caring about anything.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I DON’T WANT TO DO THIS ANYMORE!” He yelled again, moving his arms to his sides. Trying his hardest to keep his hands from touching his skin to cause more harm. He needed to get over this so Kokichi didn’t have to worry about it, so the others didn’t have to worry about it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He cried on and off for another hour or so. He was just so exhausted because of how alone he felt. He didn’t know what to do with himself, he didn’t know what to do anymore. He just wanted to be free from all of this.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Shuichi?” He heard a voice call out. He looked back over to his door where Kokichi and the others were standing. He was surprised to see all of them up at this late hour. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“K-kokichi?” He asked, turning around. Kokichi moved towards him and quickly moved to hug him. Shuichi was confused by his actions, because he had been ignoring all of them for a long time...but now it seemed that Kokichi and the others still care about him, despite all of this.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Shuichi, why didn’t you come to me?” He asked while some of the others came in and went to hug Shuichi. “Because I don’t understand what I’m feeling.” He said plainly before Maki and Kaito gave Shuichi a hug, before Himiko and Gonta did the same.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You don’t have to be alone Shuichi!” Kaito said before Himiko added, “Yeah, we are all here for each other! So don’t be afraid to come to us!” Himiko said with a smile. Shuichi was still in shock because they all came here for him. After the hugs came from the others Kokichi moved back in front of Shuichi.</span>
  <span></span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s okay, to not be okay, but pushing those you care about isn’t okay,” He said before moving his hands to his cheeks. Shuichi blushed at this before Kokichi moved his face down so he could kiss him. Shuichi kissed him and let out some tears. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thank you,” He said gently before Kokichi smiled. “We are here for you Shumai!” Kokichi said, hugging him again. Shuichi just smiled, because he knew in this moment, he didn’t have to be alone.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>-Don’t know what to say about this one, other than this week has been shitty for me. Thank you all so much for reading! And I wish you all the best!-</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>-SK-</em>
  </b>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0107"><h2>107. Summertime Sadness {Angst}</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The waves. The beach. The sand. He loved all of it. The way the waves would barely touch his feet as he walked across the sand. The way it was darker in the mornings so he wouldn’t get burned. The way the waves sounded helped him to be able to breathe. For once, breathing in this moment was easy, simple even. For this moment he knew what it felt like to be free. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ah the wind,” He said letting the wind go through his hair. Letting it trace his cheeks and sides as his shirt pattered against him. Tracing his skin with its vanishing presence as it came and passed over him. Just as the waves that kept crashing against the beach. Coming and going as the wind came through his hair. Blowing it away from his face one moment before blowing it onto his face in the next moment.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was calming, having this feeling fill his mind, body, and soul. This peace is something he would want to always have with him even if it was just in small moments. Because then when he talks to others he will want to be there talking to them...but the whole time they are telling him about their own day, his mind always goes back to the water.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The desolate feeling that came with the water was intoxicating to his soul. Being alone in that moment with that peace, knowing that the only other person looking at him, the only other person there with him was himself. Because he genuinely believed that he was good with “me, myself, and I” But the loneliness consumed him and always dragged him back to the water.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He lived in a beach house with his mother for some time, but that was before she passed away and left the house to him. He was just barely turning 18 at the time so he was allowed to keep the house and live in the house that his mother once owned. He loved being there, but the house felt empty without his mother there. Sure she would only read on the couch or watch TV, but she was there and that’s all he needed to make the house feel like a home.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But now...there was no one. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He walked back out to the beach and looked around him as the sky darkened. “I should get back,” He mumbled to himself...knowing that he wanted to stay so he wouldn’t have to met with another restless night...but it was getting dark and he knew that it was time to go back inside, even if it was going to be another night of staring at the oven light as the TV played the news. Another night of the silence deafening his thoughts, mind, body, and soul. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was such a consuming feeling that he avoided going into the house at all, because of his fear of being alone. Having this fear was no good for him because he is always alone. He doesn’t mean to be so stubborn and difficult around others...but it’s so hard to be honest with them. To pretend to care, to pretend that he doesn’t want to just sit there and cry. But alas, he smiles around others. They all consider him a caring friend, when in reality, they only add to the feeling of the loneliness piling on his shoulders.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Come on Kokichi,” He said, running a frustrated hand through his hair. He knew it was time but he was unable to get his feet to move in the direction of his house. It was chilling when the wind seemed to become cooler. This was typical for the nighttime hours of the day where he lived...but it still made his skin crawl. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He moved his arms around himself and rubbed his shoulders to try to warm himself. “Come on,” He said again, finally able to start clumsily making his way back to his house. The path to his house was clear...but that didn’t stop his mind from wandering away from him. The thoughts came like drops in a rain storm...seemingly calm before they came one after another, time and time again, before he was getting drenched in the toxic feeling of his darker thoughts. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The thoughts of wanting to just walk out into the deeper part of the waves and let himself give into his desires. The desires to not be here anymore...and the other selfish wishing his daydreams were playing throughout his mind.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kokichi felt done, he just wanted to be able to get rid of the weight on his shoulders...but he knew to do that he would have to run away from this. But running from his problems would only make them come back worse later. He clenched his fists and went back to walking. I need to get back...I need to get back home. He wanted to feel like he was home...</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Home.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The word seemed to chill his tongue. Making his whole mouth go dry. The word home was so empty after she left the house. She was what made it a home...and now without her it just feels so empty.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He felt his feet start moving towards the water. He had his swim suit on with a jacket over his shoulders. Before he had a chance to process it he already felt himself moving into the water. Maybe now I will be able to see my mother...I miss you mom, do you miss me as I miss you?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey! You over there!” He perked up and looked over where the sound originated from. It seemed to be coming from a boy who was a little ways up the path than where he was. He waved over to him telling him to come closer. After a few moments the mysterious figure came before him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He was a taller male and had dark hair with pale skin. It was fairly dark so he wasn’t able to see his eye or hair color. All he could tell was his hair was dark, much like unto his own. “Kokichi, Right?” He asked, making the smaller male flinch. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Y-yeah,” He said, clearing his throat. “How did you know my name?” He asked, feeling his curiosity spike. Does he know this boy from somewhere? Maybe he knows him from school...he wasn’t sure exactly where the mystery boy could know him from, so he brushed away his thoughts and focused back on the boy.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, right.” He said putting one of his hands out. “I’m Shuichi Saihara, I know you from school-- well I heard about you from a good friend of mine.” He said with a kind smile. Why is he even here? Doesn’t he know we haven’t ever really talked?...What does he want with me?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Why are you here..?” He asked, sounding a little colder towards Shuichi. I mean he was just caught in the act of trying to walk out into the waves. With the hope that they might claim him as their own.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, I just wanted to get to know you better...and I saw you on the beach,” He said, making Kokichi clench his teeth. Liar...he thought feeling like maybe Rantaro or Ryoma had put him up to this. They were the two friends he still talks to from school...and over the past few weeks he had been shutting both of them out, no matter how hard they tried to help him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Rantaro sent you didn’t he?” Kokichi asked, looking down letting his damp hair cover his eyes. “Yeah...but I remember in school you were the boy I wanted to talk to...but Kaito and Maki never let me get close to you,” He said laughing a bit as Kokichi relaxed a bit.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So why did you come all the way out here, so late?” He asked again. Shuichi sighed to himself and wrapped his own jacket over his shoulders. He had noticed Kokichi was shaking from the cold and even if he didn’t acknowledge it, he could tell.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Here why don’t I take you to my car to warm you up?” He started walking with Kokichi over to where his car was parked in front of his house. Kokichi sighed to himself...he didn’t know why he was feeling so empty all the time, but he knew that he didn’t want to tell others about his feelings, especially since he was feeling so down to the point where he was going to attempt again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He didn’t say anything as they walked to the car and even after they were sitting in his car. “Hey, Kokichi,” Shuichi whispered, moving one of his arms around his shoulders. Kokichi looked up at him and felt his eyes droop.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Know you don’t have to do this alone anymore,” He said with a smile. Those words made the walls he put up around his heart crack a bit. He felt some hope rise in his chest...something other than the consuming emptiness he was feeling. Maybe Shuichi Saihara will help him get rid of these walls he built. Maybe just this once he can feel at home again. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Maybe this summer sadness will fade away</span>
</p><p>
  <span>While a new life can come from this rainy day</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>-At the beach and it's really nice to be here...but that doesn’t mean my thoughts don’t get the better of me...I hope you all enjoyed! Thank you all so much for reading!-</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>-SK-</em>
  </b>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0108"><h2>108. Talking to the Moon {Angst/Fluff}</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>
    <span>I know you're somewhere out there</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Somewhere far away</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I never knew that having all these friends would only end up making me feel more alone. I have a lot of friends online and I talk to many people at school who consider me their friends...but that doesn’t mean that this lonely feeling has gone away. If anything this is making it so, so much worse. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I chat with them when they are available and listen to them when they want to talk about things. I smile when they message me because of how it makes me feel like they are there with me. Like I could reach out and touch their hands. Holding their hand in my own showing the world how real we are...but it’s all online and all fake because it’s just me lying about it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That’s me, Kokichi Ouma, the ultimate liar. When I was first called this title I was offended but then I got to thinking.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I lie all the time. Whether it’s about my emotions or about other people or even myself. It doesn’t matter what it is, or how trivial it may seem, I still lie. It’s like an overflowing faucet...always running out of my mouth with no end.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I want you back, I want you back</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>My neighbors think I'm crazy</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I talk with this guy named Rantaro online and his friend Kaede. I always try to be as happy as I can for them, because whenever I give up and start speaking more truth than usual they always tell me the same shit to make me feel better. It will get better, just hang in there, just hang in there over and over again before I give up on being honest and go back to lying.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I’m so sick of it. But I mean I should be happy because they are there for me...there for me. Yeah right.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>But they don't understand</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>You're all I have, you're all I have</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s hard to be like this all the time. Pretending for people who don’t give a shit about me. I looked back over to my phone that was sitting on my bed. It’s the late afternoon so they should be online. Best to check because I haven’t been getting any messages all day today.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I slowly moved over to my phone and pulled the front screen up only to see the message ‘No older notifications’ I dread seeing this message because it only shows how nobody cares how alone I feel now. Yes, life is busy and it makes people forget...but it always seems like anyone who ever cares about me once always forgets about me...because I am always so happy all the time right?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>At night, when the stars light up my room</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I kept looking over the front screen again and again just to see nothing. No messages, no one cares. But I mean I don’t blame them...there isn’t just no reason why I call these the lonely hours. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The hours before I go to sleep are just torture making my head ache with the pain coming from my heart. Screaming that I am alone. I have other people in my life who say they are my friends...but they don’t want to get to know me and how we meet is always situational.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I guess these hours always get forgotten” I whispered to myself moving on the edge of my bed. I slung my legs over the ledge and swung them back and forth looking over to the curtain that wasn’t covering my window as it would be. But closing it would make me completely alone. All by myself in this room longing for someone. Someone to hold me and to tell me that it’s alright.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I sit by myself</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Talking to the moon</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I look out the window and see the moon there for me. Waiting for me like an old friend I never knew who is always here for me. Not just saying “I’m always here for you” only to leave me alone when I need someone there for me most. It’s always there shining down on me, reminding me that even if I don’t have anyone else, at least I have the moon.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Trying to get to you</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Just like that dream I always have wished that maybe in some other life I would be able to have a friend like the ones in those movies. The kind of friend who wants to go on midnight drives through town, the kind of friend who wants to go and hangout, the kind of friend who wants to laugh, and the kind of friend that would make me feel like I belong.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>In hopes you're on the other side, talking to me too</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Or am I a fool, who sits alone, talking to the moon?</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I always wish that maybe there would be someone who was talking to the moon at the same time I was. Someone who wants the same thing as me, wanting to have a friend or maybe something more. I want to be able to love and feel the emotions that all of the friends I have at school seem to feel.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I want to be able to feel emotions like happiness, and sadness. Genuine feelings that aren’t just fake because of the mask I always wear. I want someone to come and take off my mask so they can see the real me. So they can see me for who I really am.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Oh</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Just maybe one day my selfish wish will be granted.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>...</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I'm feeling like I'm famous, the talk of the town</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>They say I've gone mad</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I have always believed that maybe the moon is a way to connect people together, even if they are miles away from one another. I know it’s silly...everyone thinks I’m mad for believing this. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
    <br/>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kaito and Maki have always been there for me, but somehow I still feel unbearably alone. I have always wanted to have a romantic connection with another person...but every time I try it always just ends up making me feel more alone. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I talk with some friends online and it helps a bit, but they are always so optimistic while I’m not...I tend to be more down on myself and just see the world through a more pessimistic lens. I am known as the emo of the group because of this-it used to bother me, but now I just embrace it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Yeah, I've gone mad</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I love being able to sit in my room listening to some soft music as I read or ponder my thoughts. I feel so many emotions and because of my dreams sometimes making me feel like I have lived another life. I feel so old and have a hard time acting my age while everyone else seems to have everything all figured out.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I wish more than anything I would be able to maybe share these thoughts with someone else. But most people don’t understand why I am still bothered by some things. I want someone to just listen to me and be here with me, to listen.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>But they don't know what I know</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>'Cause when the sun goes down, someone's talking back</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I looked up at the moon through my window and decided to walk outside to my balcony to look at it. It’s shine along with all the stars lighting up the darkened world in the night. It was comforting to me being able to look up and feel like someone was there with me. Like I had someone to talk to even though it was late.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I hope you are having a good night…” I whispered, bringing my hands to rest on my chest. “I don’t know if you can hear me...but know I want you to know I’m here with you” I said again, closing my eyes a bit as I felt the wind blow against me.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I heard you!” I heard another voice call out. I felt some tears come to my eyes before I spoke again. “I didn’t know there was someone else” I laughed a bit as some tears came down my cheeks...I didn’t know anyone was there, and I definitely didn’t expect a response.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Yeah, they're talking back, oh</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I didn’t expect you to respond! I didn’t even know someone was on the other side!” They said laughing. I smiled to myself feeling a smile creep onto my cheeks. “Well now we know we are both here...so what’s your name?” I asked, feeling a little nervous about the small silence that came with it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>At night, when the stars light up my room</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s Kokichi Ouma,” He said, making me blush a bit. “I-I’m Shuichi Saihara,” I said in return, feeling my smile become more genuine. It’s been a while since I have felt so happy about talking to another person. Sure it’s because I’m talking to the moon the same time as they are. I wish maybe these things could be more real, but at this moment I want to savor it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s such a beautiful name.” The words drifted into my ear and it made me smile at the thought of him being there with me. The thought made me flustered. I didn’t notice I said nothing in return. “Are you still there~?” He said in a more teasing tone making me flinch as I became embarrassed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“S-sorry! I-I just get flustered easily!” I blurted out putting my hands over my mouth after the words left. Like storm clouds coming into the sky as they rumble warning of the rain, my heart was beating loudly warning me about how my tears would come. Whenever I feel strong emotions my feelings overflow in the form of tears...and it was about to lightly rain.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s alright Saihara-Chan~” He spoke again making my heart beat faster as my eyes teared up a bit. “Thank you for talking to me tonight, I was feeling so alone.” I said letting the downpour fall from my eyes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It started as a small patter. “I’m glad you talked to me as well, I haven’t had anyone to listen to me today” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Before falling down in a downpour. “I’m so glad,” I said with a small laugh as I sniffled. “Oh shit! Did I make you cry?” He said, sounding panicked. I laughed more at this and wiped my tears with my hands.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, but these are happy tears.” I said with a smile. “I’m just so happy that you are here with me,” I said again reaching my hand out pretending in my mind that his hand was doing the same.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m glad, know it’s the same for me, my beloved~ people never like talking to me sadly” He said, sounding a little more tired. It must be late over there as well.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I sit by myself</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Talking to the moon</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But I enjoy talking to you,” I whispered letting the truth fall from my lips. He seemed to ponder on this for a moment as it went quiet again...but it was a more comfortable silence. Like we were able to be in the presence of each other even if we were miles apart.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s something I don’t hear often, so thank you for that.” I let my face heat up as I smiled. “Hey, Kokichi?” I called out pulling my phone out of my pocket. Sure it was late...but just in case this doesn’t happen again, I want to be able to keep in touch with him...if we can that is.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes~?” He asked in return, making  me feel flustered again. ‘You got this, just ask him for his number, it's not that hard’ I thought to myself trying to calm myself down.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What’s your number?” I asked before meeting again with silence for a moment. I was worried that I was overstepping my boundaries...but decided to let the words sit. Just for a moment without taking them back out of fear.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Trying to get to you</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“My number is 202 555 0159~ and you can just text me so I can get yours as well~” He teased again before I moved to grab my phone. I typed in the number and sent the first message.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Shuichi: Hello</b>
  <b>
    <br/>
    <br/>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>Kokichi: Hello! You must be Shuichi~</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Shuichi: Yeah...that’s me!</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Kokichi: Can we video call? Or is it a little late for that?</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Shuichi: No it’s alright! I can video call!</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Kokichi: Nice! I’m sure you are absolutely amazing!</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I smiled a bit at this and moved over to hit the video call button. The screen lit up moments later with the face of a boy that was around my age. He looked amazing. Sure his hair was all messy and his eyes had bags under them, but he was the first person to understand how I’m feeling. The first one who wanted to be there...and was there for me.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>...</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>In hopes you're on the other side, talking to me too</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Or am I a fool, who sits alone, talking to the moon?</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I smiled when I saw Shuichi on the screen. His hair was messy and he was wearing a band hoodie. He looked exhausted the same as I...but it was calming in a way to see another person today. I have been trapped in my room all day because I haven’t had any motivation to deal with people because of how they have been avoiding me and forgetting about me all day.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I don’t mind it much, but the lonely feeling I have is so consuming. I feel it once because of a small ignorance of another person and then it drags me away from the others which only amplifies the feeling of loneliness I have. I don’t mind having to sit in my room alone all the time, because it can be calming to me in a way...I have just been feeling more and more exhausted with other people...and this whole facade I put on makes it all so much worse.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Because after lying for sometime I start to believe in the lies and it just makes me so irritated with myself. “Kokichi are you alright?” Shuichi asked, pulling me out of my thoughts.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Do you ever hear me calling?</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I smiled and moved my head to look at him. “Sorry that happens sometimes” I said with a sheepish grin and a small laugh. Shuichi just gave me a knowing smile making me feel guilty for trying to lie to him as well. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s alright, I understand that, thoughts can be pretty consuming” He said in return. His smile made me laugh a bit before he started laughing as well.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Your laugh is so cute~” I teased making him blush before he mumbled, “Thank you…” He moved his hand to cover a blush that came to his cheeks. I just smiled more. “You are so adorable Shu~” His eyes widened a bit.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“S-shu?” He asked, stuttering a bit. I gave him a small smile. “I wanted to give you a nickname~ because it’s been a while since I have met someone like you~” He smiled back and moved his hand down.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m honored that you gave me one”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>(Ah-ah, ah-ah, ah-ah) Oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>'Cause every night, I'm talking to the moon</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well I’m glad you aren’t annoyed with that--because some people give me shit about it,” I sighed letting myself be more honest with him. He frowned a bit. “Why would they do that? It just shows they don’t deserve to have a nickname from you” He said looking to the side.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s sad how some people are so rude about it…” He whispered into his jacket arms that he moved to cover his mouth. I smiled at the cute action before he seemed to move his eyes to the side.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, but some people are just no good~” I said with another sigh before he opened up to me. He told be about his family and how his parents were never home and how lonely that made him feel. I also even opened up about all the ‘friends’ I have at school as well as the ‘friends’ I know online who only care when it’s convenient for them.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I’m used to being forgotten because of how often I had to move around when I was younger because my parents were no good...but at least now I have a place to stay where I can be myself...and now I have Shuichi to talk with in these lonely moments.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Still trying to get to you</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>In hopes you're on the other side, talking to me too</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Or am I a fool, who sits alone, talking to the moon?</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>We talked over the next few months in the late hours of the night. It was nice to be able to have someone to talk to during the lonely hours of my day when everyone seemed too busy to talk to me. It was nice being able to have him here for me, knowing he wasn’t here to judge me...and knowing he just understands what I’m thinking.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Maybe just maybe this will be the friendship I was looking for.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Oh</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I know you're somewhere out there</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Somewhere far away</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I love you Shuichi, and I don’t think anything can change that. These small talks we have in the middle of the night make me feel safe and as though I can be honest with others. So thank you, for showing me that someone understands me and that someone is there for me.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Thank you for loving me</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When I couldn’t love myself</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>-Missing the moments we had together, hoping they would last forever. But you still wait for me in the stars, waiting till one day I can again be in your arms-</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>-SK-</em>
  </b>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0109"><h2>109. Late Night Drives {Fluff}</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The days seemed to just be so draining. Everyone was busy with work and school while I just always seemed to be free the times everyone else was busy. So inconvenient. Shuichi was down at his apartment that was down in the C rooms, while I was over in the A rooms. I wanted to go over to his apartment to bug him...but I knew that he is probably busy with school work.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“God--” I sighed, laying back on the couch. I was just letting the TV play in the background to keep the room from feeling so silent. Today was a long day to say the least. School was a pain in the ass and Shuichi wasn’t even able to be around me at all because he needed to see some professors after class and ended up not having time. It was alright and I understand that he is busy and needs to get his own work done to keep his mind at ease, but I just felt so damn bored without him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I sighed and slowly moved to look at my phone one more time to go and check instagram. It was honestly so foolish of me to do so because everyone I follow was the people who were going to parties and hanging out with other friends. But then I was here just sitting alone on my couch bored as fuck.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I stared at the ceiling and remembered the times me and Shuichi would just lay down on the grass outside and look at the stars. It felt amazing to be off the internet for those moments even if after I knew I would have to go back on my phone for classes and other things. But at least for these moments it was just me and him, and me and him alone. </span>
  <span></span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <span>It made it feel so genuine and so real to me and I always find myself wanting to have these moments all the time. Moments with me and Shuichi and no one else in the world to bother us. Me and him without phones getting in the way of the connection we have.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I have been with so many people that have ended up being more in love with their phone than me. But Shuichi has always been different than that. He responds to text messages just as if it was a letter received in the mail. He isn’t on his phone much and doesn’t even end up bringing it around the school. Even if he did it would be silenced and sometimes even powered down. Because he set up rules for himself. These rules are so he is able to connect better with other people and be able to just not have to be online all the time so he can get off the map.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His parents were never there for him and that’s why these connections with other people are so important to him. Now from me being his boyfriend for the 3 months we have been together he has been able to get me into the habit of putting my phone away when I am around other people. Unless of course there is an emergency and someone needs to contact me for some odd reason. It’s calming to me because whenever I am around him, I am able to be around him and not him with his phone.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But this is all the more reason why today is so damn lonely, because even if I messaged or called him his phone might be off...and I would feel way too guilty if I went over there and interrupted his homework. So, I will just sit here and be alone--wait, Rantaro probably has his phone on him!</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I pulled up my calling and hit the icon with his name before it started calling. After two rings he picked up the phone. “Ah, Hey Kokichi,” He said, sounding like he wasn’t really around anyone else--so he must be out of school for the day as well.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I was wondering if you maybe wanted to hangout?” I asked, feeling my hopes rise up a bit. “Sorry...I’m a little busy with homework at the moment, can’t you go with Shuichi somewhere?” He asked, making me slump in my seat.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No--Shuichi is probably busy…” I whispered into the phone putting an arm over my eyes. “Key word, probably” He said which made me sigh a bit before he added. “You haven’t even tried to call him have you?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes…” I felt embarrassed because of this fact. “Well then I would call him. Even if he doesn’t respond you can say that you tried” He slowly said this before I heard some papers rusting on his end.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m assuming you need to go?” I asked before he responded. “Yeah, I should really get this paper done.” He said with his usual laugh which made me laugh a bit as well.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay, you go and do that,” I said into the phone before he said a brief thank you. After this he hung up and I was left to sit on the couch seeing Shuichi’s name in my call history. I should just call him, I don’t know why I’m being this nervous about this.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Maybe it’s because earlier today I opened the messaging app I have grown to resent only for someone to say they were going to do something before lying about it. Which is fine I was lying to them as well, but it didn’t make today any easier to not just get angry.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Okay, let’s call him,” I said to myself, moving my finger slowly to hit the call button. After I pressed it I felt my whole body clench. What if he doesn’t pick up? What if I’m just being rude to him because I’m feeling this way? I slowly calmed myself down before he picked up the phone after 3 rings.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey baby, how are you doing? Rantaro messaged me and told me about you being anxious about calling…” He paused while I whispered a quiet yes. “Know you can always call me regardless of the situation. Ever since we have been together I wanted to be here for you, so I had Maki and Kirumi help me set up my phone to only have messaging, camera, and call. And they even helped show me how to mark your number as important so even if I silence my phone I still know I got the message.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I blushed a bit at his words. “You did all of that for me?” I asked, sounding a little more embarrassed than I usually would. “Yes, of course I did” He said and I could hear the smile in his voice. I smiled as well before speaking.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey are you busy at the moment? I know it’s a little later...but today has been stressful for me and I was wondering if you want to do something together?” I asked, letting it leave my mouth without giving the usual ‘just kidding’ or ‘it’s a lie’ after. He went silent for a moment before he spoke.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I was actually going to ask you if you wanted to go night driving with me earlier, but you beat me to it.” He laughed into the phone making me laugh a bit as well. “Well, then it was great timing.” I said before I heard my roommate coming back into the room. He looked tired, but honestly I didn’t know him too well--all I know is he is homophobic and does not like me.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’ll be over in 10 minutes, wait for me in the parking lot.” I whispered okay and I love you before ending the call. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Going out again--with that boy?” The other male asked. “Yeah, I shouldn’t be too loud when I get back.” I said before he just said whatever and left into his room. I grabbed my jacket and walked out the door making sure to remember to grab my key.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Kokichi! Over here!” Shuichi yelled a bit from outside of his car, making me laugh a bit as I walked over to his car. He drives a Kia and a small one at that. It only had two seats and a little bit of room in the back--but that connected to the trunk of the car. But it was perfect for late night dates or even just dates in general. “Hello lovely~!” I teased before capturing his lips on my own.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He smiled and breathed in with a smile coming to his lips as he kissed me back. He lowered his head a bit so we were more level...because I am still somewhat short. I have grown a bit--but I’m only 5’ 4” while Shuichi and Rantaro just got a bit taller making me feel short all over again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Here, I have some snacks for you and a blanket.” He said gesturing to the passenger seat. I smiled and slowly looked at what he was pointing at. There was a blanket draped over the chair and then there was a small bundle of sweet rolls and some candy. I felt myself tear up a bit at the gesture. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Kokichi?” He asked when I moved closer to him to hide my face in his chest. “Why are you so...perfect” I mumbled against his chest. He smiled and rubbed my back.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, I could say the same about you” He said gently moving his hand to cup my cheek. It brought my face out from where it was against his chest and up to where he was looking down into my eyes. “Let’s get into the car because it’s quite chilly outside.” He finished kissing my forehead before he moved over to open the passenger's seat. I was blushing a bit because of the cold as well as how he always knows when I feel too embarrassed to speak and how he always just moves on to make me feel comfortable. He is just dazzling and I swear one day I’m going to go fucking blind.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, here we go my beloved!” I said feeling excited and relaxed at this. The car was warm and it smelled like him and made me honestly want to fall asleep.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>We started driving down the road and some music started playing. It was the songs that I always listen to when I am more stressed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>My hearts a stereo</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>It beats for you, so listen close</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Hear my thoughts in every note, oh oh</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Make me your radio</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Turn me up when you feel low</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>This melody was meant for you</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Just sing along to my stereo</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I remember the nights like these they always cause me so much peace. Harmony with Shuichi there with me without the loud shouts of the loneliness that comes with the technology of today.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>-Have been feeling pretty odd from some of the loneliness that has come with people always being offline when I would like to talk. It’s not on them I just put too much faith and trust into things that were untrustworthy--anyway! Thank you all so much for reading! There will be a part 2!!-</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>-SK-</em>
  </b>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0110"><h2>110. Love me...? {Angst}</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>
    <span>I always wondered what love was. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Was it when my parents tell me that they love me? </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Telling me they are there for me when all they do is turn away and ignore me? </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I was never sure. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>But then he came along and I never thought that this feeling would ensue in my heart. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Staying up into the late hours of the night as my eyes got droopy to talk to him. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>To make sure he felt all the love I wanted to give him. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I love him more than anything and wanted to keep him safe. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I wanted to hold him in my arms and kiss him all over his face. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>But this would never come true because we knew each other across the screen. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Never seeing each other when we did not wish to be seen.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>But here we are for the three fine days we were together. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Always talking.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>You laughed while you were happy.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>While I cried because somehow the one I love was making me feel...so crappy.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I wondered why.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Why every time we talked over the phone--</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>
      <br/>
    </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>All I wanted to do was cry.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>But after some time I thought this through.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Now seeing how the love I wanted,</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Was a wish that would never come true.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>You wanted my attention.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>My eyes to be on you.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>But you only gave affection.</span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>
      <br/>
    </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>When I was dying to be heard.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I know my feelings are complex and hard to understand.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>But a relationship is all about that.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Being heard,</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>And hearing the same.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Not treating love,</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>As just your wretched game.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>So now I see after talking to the ones who care about me,</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>That you weren’t good for me,</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>No one ever seems to be.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I wish it wasn’t true,</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>And I really did want to love you,</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>But this love to you,</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Was never seen as something true.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Just another lie to mess with my heart.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Causing me to remember all my scars.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Know that I meant every word I said,</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Even when we broke and you told me you would be better off dead.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Wishing that you would stay safe,</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Only to hear it was just a small mistake.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Am I the mistake you made or the other way.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I don’t know if this is how my life decays.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Because yet again my skies begin to fade.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>To a dark grey that will soon become a horrid black.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>A black that consumes.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Like the dying heart trapped in my room,</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Alone as it should be,</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Breaking while you are happy.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I walked up to my room to look up at my light. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>It wasn't on which made my room seem cool and dark. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Which set the mood as my thoughts became more grim </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>as you kept mentioning how you didn’t want to live. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I know that you were probably feeling the same pain as me…</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>but in this case you were trying to use me. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Sure you may have not seen it, </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>but the past experiences I have had in my time…</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>all point to this being the case. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I can not believe that yet again I let my heart become so foolish.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Feeling this fake love others pretend to have for me…</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>best to just be alone. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Who needs another when you have yourself…</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>right?</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>My phone buzzed, </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>stopping my thoughts before it could get worse. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>My mind felt so foggy as I reached for my phone to check the front screen. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Another message from him…</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I didn’t even want to read the message, </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>it was all the same.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>A friend messaging about you making me feel even worse. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I sat on my bed questioning my sanity. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Should I be with you? Did you ever really want me…? </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Or just the devotion I gave to you…</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>that you never gave to me. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>It is an odd feeling.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>To love someone so much, </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>when all they do is take from you. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I hate these feelings. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I have way too many…</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>and I should have known that you weren’t ready for that…</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>that I wasn’t ready for that. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I don’t hate you…</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>but you gave me another reason to hate me so much more. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Loving you was a losing game.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I hear that line in the songs that come on my radio. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>The sad songs at night that play through my speakers. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Making me remember all the painful memories you bring to me. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I hate it. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I hate it. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I hate it! </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Why can’t this be another nightmare? </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>The ones I wake up from in the early hours of the morning? </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I would rather be alone and shaking in my room, </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>than alone and breaking with the light </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>from this godforsaken screen that pulls me towards it. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>All the kind words, </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>but I know they aren’t true. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>No one really knows me…</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>who would want to?</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I should be smart. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I get good grades and my parents praise me for them, </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>well they did before. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>But now it’s just a habit. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>They don’t notice me and it’s getting to my head. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Making me stupid with these feelings. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I should have never said the things I did. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Using I love you like you meant it like I…</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I never knew you would be like the others that loved me for the attention I give.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>But the thing with being the only one giving, </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>is you always hurt while the other person feels on top of the world. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>So I guess this is my life now…</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>being used by any one who comes my way. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I can’t believe I was such an idiot again.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Such a fool.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I thought you loved me…</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>but in the end I could never even love myself.</span>
  </em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0111"><h2>111. Last Night {Angst/Fluff}</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>T/W: there are themes of depression, selfharm, suicide, and relapse in this part. This is a warning.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>
    <em>T/W: there are themes of depression, selfharm, suicide, and relapse in this part. This is a warning.</em>
  </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They always ask “why are you so sad all the time” and I always wonder why they are unable to see what I’m feeling. No one can it seems...maybe my lies have finally become perfected as I always wanted them to be. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I feel bad that this is happening after the years I have been ‘better’ about these things. I stopped cutting myself everyday after the whole hospital visit. I also have been able to avoid trying to attempt for a long time as well. This was all going super well and super great, my parents were amazing, and life was going well.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Except it wasn’t.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>My trauma seemed to be fading as my scars were doing the same...but god that didn’t last very long. My house is so consuming it’s hard to feel as though I belong there or even that I want to be here at all. The thoughts started becoming harder when their expectations seemed to be getting higher and higher until they were so high I wasn’t able to reach them anymore.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But these aren’t my real parents of course. My parents never gave a damn about me so I had to get put into an orphanage where I made some friends...before I was moved here. Eric and Pina are my two parents...my adoptive mother and father, but as my parents before they loved my lies more than they loved me.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They think things are going well but they aren’t. Well at least not anymore. I know I have said that before...and I know I need to get over these things. Crying every night becomes boring after the first three to four times it happens. I hate having to show weakness, but anytime I go up into my room after my parents are asleep in their bed...I just break down.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The thoughts are always so loud no matter what I do to try to silence them. But I remembered a bit ago how much cutting helped me...I never did it on my arms because my parents get worried if they see me wearing long sleeves in the summer, but if I always wear pants they never can tell. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So recently, I started cutting myself again. It started as small ones on my upper arms before it moved back down to where I did them before. My thighs. Six cuts on both thighs in the last four days...I’m not proud of myself and I had a couple close calls where I was going to end up suffocating myself in the later hours of the night.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Because</span>
</p><ol>
<li>
<b></b><span> I have no friends.</span>
</li>
<li>
<b></b><span> No one notices me unless I notice them.</span>
</li>
<li>
<b></b><span> If people know or don’t know they don’t care.</span>
</li>
<li>
<b></b><span> I’m sick of being told I have to “try harder”.</span>
</li>
<li>
<b></b><span> I’m always alone, even around others, I’m alone.</span>
</li>
<li>
<b></b><span> I have to be what the world wants me to be and if I act up I get hell for it.</span>
</li>
<li>
<b></b><span> I will never find anyone who would want to understand me.</span>
</li>
</ol><p> </p><p>
  <span>I looked down at the seven fingers I was holding up. It made me feel sad that I didn’t really have anyone to talk to. If I wanted to tell anyone about this...no one would listen. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I don’t have anyone to listen to me...and even the few people I know online don’t know shit about me because I never have told them. I don’t want them to tell me the same shit my parents do...because even if they seem like ‘amazing parents’ they are not. They have anger issues and pile everything on me because I am not their actual son. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Their daughter gets the world while I have to provide the world for all of them. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Which is fine.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I’m not complaining. Many people call me selfish because of how I’m always complaining. But who gives a damn about them, because if they don’t know they don’t care. If they don’t care they don’t worry, and if they don’t worry I can leave without a goodbye and they won’t be phased.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So me dying would end up just being another part of the conversations they have so casually. I can see it now.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh you remember that Kokichi boy?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What about him?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Apparently he killed himself”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh...well I didn’t know him very well”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah me too, just took me by surprise. Because it was so quiet today without his loud and obnoxious lies”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah you got me there”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And then I would be forgotten. As if I never lived in the first place. I guess that sounds nice to me in a way. Because then my whole existence would end up being another one of my </span>
  <b>lies</b>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I wonder sometimes if anyone would notice when it happened. If I would be an important person to them they would mourn and mark the date in their calendar every year to remember me. But I know deep down no one would even notice. I’m treated like a ghost anyway...so maybe it would be good to never come back as a person but stay here as a ghost.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hmm,” I sighed, holding my head in my hands as I looked down at the rope I had gotten beforehand. My razor was on my bed next to me and I didn’t even have my pants on anymore so I could cut my skin to ease me away from deciding to make my life end in a more </span>
  <b>permanent</b>
  <span> fashion.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was quite the set up on my dark night sky blanket. The rope was in between the moon and the stars, showing how that would be where I would go if I decided to carry this out. The razor was closer to the ground indicating what would happen if I chose to cut instead of kill.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I let my mind excite these thoughts letting my imagination take me through both scenarios. I thought about how things would change if I ended up hanging myself and not waking up again tomorrow. But then I remembered a promise...I made to my one friend.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I almost forgot about him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Shuichi.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I can’t leave Shuichi here alone. I promised I would stay here for him so we can get married when we grow older...maybe I should reach out to him. I know it’s late...but I think tonight other than cutting myself more or even going through with the plan my mind fantasizes about all the time.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I shook my head. Damnit Kokichi! How could you have forgotten about Shuichi? I guess I just have gotten too consumed in my thoughts again...I’m just an asshole I guess.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I sighed before moving over lazily to my table. My legs were shaky because of the cutting but I managed to walk over there. My phone was placed on the table and was charging for the night. I shakily grabbed it and held it close to my chest. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I need to call him. I should have done that first before any of this could end up happening. I sighed again and ran my fingers through my hair. Okay you got this...just hit the call button.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I shakily opened my phone and went to Shuichi’s contact and stared at the picture of him at the top of the screen. He was smiling at me and it made me feel so calm just seeing his picture...while at the same time I wasn’t sure I wanted to bother him at three in the morning. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I have to,” I stated before I just pressed the call button. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Ring</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Ring</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hello…?” I heard his tired voice pick up the phone. “Heya Shu.” I said keeping my tone flat. I didn’t want to start crying right when I called him...but I could feel the tears already coming and I didn’t think I would last long.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What’s wrong?” He asked gently. His words hurt my heart a bit and I ended up just breaking down then and there. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Everything is going wrong...I thought it was okay but-“ I was cut off by my sobs. They were quiet because I couldn’t wake my parents up or they would get mad at me and Shuichi because I was calling him this late.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey hey, shh...Shh baby it’s okay,” he soothed helping me calm down a bit, but the tears wouldn’t stop. “Just talk to me, what’s going on?” He asked again, making me feel even more guilty.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I want to die,” I said before he hummed in response. “Can you come outside in 7 minutes? I know it’s later and it’s cold but I’m driving over to see you.” I blushed and was about to tell him he didn’t have to...but on his end of the phone I heard him moving around and a few doors opening and closing. He was going to come for me and that made me feel so safe that he wants to do so for me.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Just keep talking to me okay? I’m on my way.” He said as I heard his car start. I felt myself laugh a bit as some more tears fell from my eyes. “I can’t believe you are coming to see me this late” I whispered moving to grab my pants to put them on regardless of the blood that was going to stain them. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I was wearing a short sleeve shirt with some sweatpants that I just put back on after cutting myself on both of my thighs...I moved to grab one of the horsies Shuichi gave me on one of our past dates. He told me to wear it whenever I needed a hug and he wasn’t there to give me one. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After doing this and walking quietly out of my room I moved over to the side door. I had to be quiet because my parents didn’t like Shuichi...and if they knew that I was dating him they would never let me hear the end of it. So we have to keep this a secret.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Shumai, thank you for this...I was thinking about killing myself earlier because I forgot you want to be here for me.” I felt some more tears fall out of my eyes as I silently closed the door behind me letting the cool air outside hit my tear stained face.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I will always be here for you love, always remember that” he whispered in his unfairly calming voice that was always able to make me feel safe. “Have you been listening to the recordings I left you to listen to while you sleep?” He asked making me feel more guilty as I said a quiet “no”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s okay, I will make some new ones and even if it helps we can stay on call all night while you sleep” he said gently as I wrapped my arms around my shoulders. “Thank you Shu.” I said feeling myself calm down more as I waited for him at the end of my driveway.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After a few more moments of talking a bit he pulled up to my house and got out of his car. “Koki,” he said gently moving over to pick me up and spin me around a few times before embracing me. “I’m so glad you called me” he whispered gently kissing my forehead. I relaxed against him and for the first time tonight...I felt okay.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Me too...I was worried I was going to do something I regret…” I whispered feeling embarrassed about it. “It’s okay baby, here let’s go to the park so your parents won’t come out and make you feel more uncomfortable about this…” he whispered in my ear. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I smiled at this and he helped me go into the passengers seat before he got back in the drivers seat. He knows my parents end up making things worse when they try to ‘help’ because they always end up guilt tripping me and making things worse.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So what made this course of events happen?” He asked gently moving one of his hands to hold onto mine as he started driving to the park a couple minutes away. “It was because of my parents saying stupid shit when they drove me to school this morning...and just everyone seeming like they just want me to leave and never come back.” I said feeling more tears come into my eyes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey it’s okay, I know that they end up doing that to you without care...and it makes me dislike all of them so much for hurting my baby,” he whispered gently moving my hand to his lips so he could kiss the back of my hand and all my fingers. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I just don’t want to have to do this anymore…” I whispered letting them truth that I have been hiding for my whole life fall from my lips. “I know you don’t...but know we can do it together, we can do this together.” He whispered as he pulled into the parking lot of the park. I smiled as he grabbed the keys and moved to pick me up out of the passenger seat.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I moved my arms around his shoulders and rested my head against his neck. “It’s okay now, let’s just be me and you right now...we can forget about all those assholes in this moment okay?” He said in a hushed whisper before kissing my forehead making me relax a bit more as I cried.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>I gave him a nod because I didn’t trust my voice. He smiled a bit and moved me over to one of the trees we would usually stay together and star gaze under when nights got hard. His parents were more lax because they weren’t home much, but that made him lonely. So life is hard for the both of us.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I love you forever.” I whispered feeling my tears slow for the first time in the last excruciating day I went through. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I love you most, always and forever, land and sea would never amount to the love I have for thee” he said with a small laugh making me laugh as well.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re such a dork.” I said laughing a bit as I laid down on his chest. “But I’m your dork,” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah you always will be” I smiled before kissing his lips brushing his cheeks with my thumbs. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“you deserve the world. Nothing less, but so much more”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>-Sorry for the angst...I haven’t exactly been doing great. But this helped me calm down a bit to function today, so thank you all for reading! Best of luck to you all!-</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>-SK-</em>
  </b>
</p>
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